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Kaur Power: Plans For An Advocacy Project At SPN

Mai Harinder Kaur

Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Oct 6, 2006
1,755
2,732
67
British Columbia, Canada
Early posts in this thread were copied from an ongoing discussion in another thread at http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/business-and-lifestyle/22488-kaur-power.html
namjap ji says

It seems to me that I need to change rather than try to change the world because peace is obtained from within me.
You will change the world whether you want to or not. We all change the world just by being here. The question is in what way will any of us will change the world and how much.
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,577
1,608
Re: Kaur Power

Simpy Ji and Kaur Jios,

Kindly make a list of 3 things which require immediate attention so that we can initiate a world-class Internet dialogue on pressing issues. We at SPN have the teamwork to address these things to other Sikh Forums as well.

Our dynamic duo - Administrators are one of the most resourceful individuals on the net.
I will be glad to bring those issues and take them to the next step.

But first, the Kaurs from all over the world must discuss which are the priority issues. Please invite Kaurs from other sites to join SPN.

Humbly at your service,

~ namjap ~
 

simpy

SPNer
Mar 28, 2006
1,133
126
Re: Kaur Power

Great effort...........:up:

har kam sharatan te karan di aadat hai na par:).........list will be ready soon........
 

simpy

SPNer
Mar 28, 2006
1,133
126
Re: Kaur Power

Starting the list-------- needs refining-- i am only talking loud..........please feel free to suggest corrections and editing................

1. Educate people about gender equality in such a way -----

so that we can encourage people to stop
a.discrimination, violence and torture within the family---like no female infanticide, rape, verbal and physical abuse,
b.discrimination at work place--like equal opportunity, equal pay........
----
----
----


2. Sikhs must come forward--men and women in large numbers and have our SGPC change the stupid tradition at Sri darbar Sahib and allow women to do Kirtan and do Palki Seva---- AND-- organize the seva and matha tekna services so that it is easily approachable... like normal human beings... There is no dearth of money... many things can be done if we want-- where there is a will there is a way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess we may need to write the upper paragraph little nicely... this is my raw thought................
 

simpy

SPNer
Mar 28, 2006
1,133
126
Re: Kaur Power

List with new update--

Starting the list-------- needs refining-- i am only talking loud..........please feel free to suggest corrections and editing................

1. Educate people about gender equality in such a way -----

so that we can encourage people to stop
a.discrimination, violence and torture within the family---like no female infanticide, rape, verbal and physical abuse,
b.discrimination at work place--like equal opportunity, equal pay........
----
----
----

The way of education should be like this that we are able to win their hearts-- so they actually use that knowledge, do their homework and actually be productive in this matter.......
like--show them how the society is when women are degraded(in whatever sense we are talking about) and then show them the picture how it will be if they are treated equal-- certainly a well treated person will do much much better-- if our daughters/daughter-in-laws/wives/mothers/aunts/sisters/// are getting good treatment, they will certainly excell in every arena...... and actually help them understand how it is going to help them as many people just have this obsession that if a girl/woman excells--it can be somehow not good-- we need to get this mentality changed--





2. Sikhs must come forward--men and women in large numbers and have our SGPC change the stupid tradition at Sri darbar Sahib and allow women to do Kirtan and do Palki Seva---- AND-- organize the langar hall entrance, seva and matha tekna services so that it is easily approachable... like normal human beings... (i have seen women getting mistreated even in langar lines the way they have now.....There is no dearth of money... many things can be done if we want-- where there is a will there is a way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Educating Women--- about their status, mostly they themselves dont understand that they are in a bad situation... they just linger on---- or even know that there is help avalaible out there.............
 

Mai Harinder Kaur

Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Oct 6, 2006
1,755
2,732
67
British Columbia, Canada
It is time to return to celebration of Kaurs, and the creation of the list of things we would like to see do that.
I'm with Narayanjot ji. This other woman is distracting us. Let's get back to the creation of this list of things to do. OMG

To reiterate my position, I feel that physical, domestic violence is such a large and pervasive problem that we ought first to deal with that, then move on to other issues.

And let us do this with chardi kala! Our purpose is to uplift our sister Kaurs, not to degrade our brother Singhs. :up:

:ice:
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

Add to the list...

What would be realistic goals? How quickly a goal can be accomplished, how much effort will be needed to reach a particular goal, what resources we really at hand to work toward a goal. It is harder to put an end to family violence than it is to raise awareness and provide information about services that victims can resort to.

I also think that SPN can be most useful when it exploits its basic format which is Internet based communication - words and images that teach, inform, and encourage. So we IMHO do best when we educate and advocate.

So what I would propose is a dedicated section in a blog format where several kinds of threads are organized.

Short to mid terms goals: Develop and implement a dedicated section that would be prominent at all times, maybe with a clickable icon and an short updated list of new posts. The section would consist of news releases on family violence, lists of intervention centers world-wide where victims can get help, articles by professionals (doctors, social workers, nurses, public health experts) all about family violence, and a networking service (service quite literally where people could write confidentially to a designated member who would then provide the names of professional agencies in the members locale that can intervene professionally).

Long term goal (within 1 year) This effort could then be expanded to include online webinars that we locate on the net, seminars scheduled around the globe, community training and advocacy events. Materials that we ourselves develop. And advocacy programs, that we would discuss and then advertise to members.

Another way of describing this is for the SPN portal to educate and to be a gateway for victims. Much like SikhRI is both a place that delivers educational resources and sponsors events, but is also a gateway to existing education, advocacy and resources. SikhRI conducts work shops and writes educational materials, but is also collaborates with other organizations.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

Another thought

Consistency is important. It would be ideal if one or two leaders or mentors had this as their personal portfolio so that the blog was consistently maintained and client issues and questions were responded to on an ongoing basis.
 

simpy

SPNer
Mar 28, 2006
1,133
126
Re: Kaur Power

I have been thinking about these three things to accomplish all day. This has been neither easy or pleasant for me. Here is what I have come up with.

1. First and foremost, we must end the physical violence against women and girls in our community. I will start at the most basic level. Our husbands, sons, fathers simply must stop raising their hands against us. Quit hitting us! We must stop pretending that this physical battering does not happen. It does and it happens often. We must not be ashamed or afraid to do whatever it takes, including calling the police to put an end to it. Our daughters need to be taught to protect themselves. Gatka is a wonderful choice. I admit that it shames me that this is a problem, but it is, a huge problem, rarely acknowledged. All our other male/female problems are dwarfed when held up to this gross physical violence.

There is an element of shame among us if we are battered. There is an assumption that we must somehow deserve it. This is a nonsense attitude that we must change. No one deserves this treatment.

And I haven't yet mentioned the murder of our girl children, whether before or after birth.

I have been told that first people's minds must be changed, then the behaviour will change of itself. What are we to do until the men change their minds, live with black eyes, broken bones, and the feeling of shame that we somehow deserve this, that we bring it upon ourselves?

This idea that the attitudes of the men must first change is a fallacy. I have seen it in the United States civil rights movement. When the Civil Rights Bill of 1964 (I think I have the year right) was passed, few Americans believed in anything approaching racial equality. Still, the law was changed and as behaviours changed, attitudes changed, too. Who in 1964 would have believed Barack Obama could be elected President less than 50 years later? (I have been trying to think of something as dramatic in Canada and India and the UK, but nothing comes to mind.)

Likewise, if we women start insisting on the laws against domestic violence be enforced, they will be enforced. And the men will stop hitting us, if only because jail is unpleasant. I could go on and on, but I won't.

The other goals we need to attain pale in significance next to this one. Yes, I want to hear Kaurs singing kirtan at Harinmandir Sahib. Yes, we ought to perform every sewa an individual woman is physically capable of performing. Yes, we should be treated as equals. Yes, yes, yes.

But until our physical safety is assured, these other things are distractions.

I say, let us focus on ending physical domestic violence. Once we make some headway there, I'll talk about numbers two and three.

And let us do it always with chardi kala!
I agree that this is one of the most important one----------- then let us make it final 1st........

In my humble opinion--The most stress should be given to provide information to them about the help available out there. Then make them strong enough to actually avail that help... because in 99% cases these women are so scared to actually avail the help. ...
In some cases --- talking to the abuser to stop .. also helps...
In all cases--- girls/women must be educated about their equal status....

Especially in case of newly weds, should prepare them not to let it linger--- recognize and stop it right at the very first instance... then other party knows that their bad behaviour is not going to work and they start learning to bahave...

for girls getting abused by parents/sisters/brothers... most of the times it is tough..............

Harinder Kaur ji -Good Job........​
 

Mai Harinder Kaur

Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Oct 6, 2006
1,755
2,732
67
British Columbia, Canada
Re: Kaur Power

It seems to me, we would first need to get a list, as comprehensive as possible, of help available, of organisations that provide counseling and even material help to women/girls caught in this situation. I'm sure such a list must exist somewhere on line. Or possibly consolidate several lists from different places.

One site that might help girls getting bullied at home that comes immediately to my mind is Khalsa kids, which is a site for Sikh children facing the various problems that Sikh kids face. Khalsa Kids
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

Here is a list that I put together after analyzing the posts where suggestions were made. I do not recommend ranking them for this reason. Some of these items may not seem as important as others. But they are more manageable as first steps toward a larger goal. They can can be addressed more quickly, and will have a cummulative effect if implemented as a group of issues. And we don't want to lose momentum. Tackling something huge like stopping men from beating their wives is very difficult to effect immediately. But beginning the process of educating women and men is something we can do right away.


  • Advocate for participation of women at all levels of Gurdwara seva, including performance of kirtan at Harimandir Sahib
  • Become advocates for changing laws that are ineffective, fostering new laws when they are needed, and enforcing existing laws when they are not being enforced
  • Become an online portal for women and men where they have access to webinars, articles, and other information that raises awareness of abuse and discrimination against women
  • Become an online portal where women and families can gain access to information about services and advocacy
  • Campaign against female foeticide
  • Change negative attitudes about women who excel in work, at school, in settings outside the home
  • Educate women about their status, helping them understand that they themselves are not aware that they are in a bad situation; Build their confidence to seek help and raise their awareness of how to get the services they need
  • Educate women and men to recognize abuse at home and in relationships by sharing stories, case studies, videos, and articles that bring them to understand that there are other ways of relating that are positive
  • Encourage women and girls to learn self-defense skills (e.g., Gatka) to protect themselves but also to build their self-esteem
  • Help women understand that they in no way “caused” or are responsible for physical abuse, but that they are the victims of another’s uncontrollable anger
  • Disseminate information about bullying
  • Raise awareness of community protective services that are available, and foster confidence in women who are being abused to use these services
  • Raise awareness that being abused is not shameful
  • Teach newly-weds the signs and symptoms of abusive relationships
Now I think the next step is to take each idea and brainstorm 2 or 3 or more strategies that we can put into action with our current resources. This is how we build sustainability and capacity. Once we begin to see evidence of success from these early stages, we will be in a better position to convince others to provide resources so we can do more ambitious things.

Please forgive me for being so bossy.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

I just had to post this quote from the thread just published on Ashvinder Kundan Singh...:welcome:

"There are those who wait for the world to change. and then there are those who put their strengths into action to revolutionize their lives and the environment around them. Their dreams become their driving force, as they take the world by storm and revise the way we think."
 

Admin

SPNer
Jun 1, 2004
6,576
5,184
SPN
Re: Kaur Power

Wonderful Narayanjot ji!! :up: Thanks for taking your precious time out and doing the most concise synopsis and inspired by your enthusiasm, SPN now has just now owned kaurpower.com... this website will be used to implement all of your efforts in a more visible and systematic way. We will have this website up and running in a week's time with waheguru's grace. :wah:
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

Actually, we are blessed that you Aman ji are always there to stand behind us and make ideas become reality.

I am not joking. :):up:
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

simpy ji and Tejwant ji

I agree with you and am so grateful that you have expressed these ideas. Our big challenge right now is to figure out how to achieve access to those women who lack confidence and skills. How do we reach out to them on the Internet? Many of them are so overwhelmed in their lives and so barricaded from communication with other ways of living that they may not be aware of this effort. Let's keep on with the goal of pulling together for them.
 

simpy

SPNer
Mar 28, 2006
1,133
126
Re: Kaur Power

Here is a list that I put together after analyzing the posts where suggestions were made. I do not recommend ranking them for this reason. Some of these items may not seem as important as others. But they are more manageable as first steps toward a larger goal. They can can be addressed more quickly, and will have a cummulative effect if implemented as a group of issues. And we don't want to lose momentum. Tackling something huge like stopping men from beating their wives is very difficult to effect immediately. But beginning the process of educating women and men is something we can do right away.


  • Advocate for participation of women at all levels of Gurdwara seva, including performance of kirtan at Harimandir Sahib
  • Become advocates for changing laws that are ineffective, fostering new laws when they are needed, and enforcing existing laws when they are not being enforced
  • Become an online portal for women and men where they have access to webinars, articles, and other information that raises awareness of abuse and discrimination against women
  • Become an online portal where women and families can gain access to information about services and advocacy
  • Campaign against female foeticide
  • Change negative attitudes about women who excel in work, at school, in settings outside the home
  • Educate women about their status, helping them understand that they themselves are not aware that they are in a bad situation; Build their confidence to seek help and raise their awareness of how to get the services they need
  • Educate women and men to recognize abuse at home and in relationships by sharing stories, case studies, videos, and articles that bring them to understand that there are other ways of relating that are positive
  • Encourage women and girls to learn self-defense skills (e.g., Gatka) to protect themselves but also to build their self-esteem
  • Help women understand that they in no way “caused” or are responsible for physical abuse, but that they are the victims of another’s uncontrollable anger
  • Disseminate information about bullying
  • Raise awareness of community protective services that are available, and foster confidence in women who are being abused to use these services
  • Raise awareness that being abused is not shameful
  • Teach newly-weds the signs and symptoms of abusive relationships
Now I think the next step is to take each idea and brainstorm 2 or 3 or more strategies that we can put into action with our current resources. This is how we build sustainability and capacity. Once we begin to see evidence of success from these early stages, we will be in a better position to convince others to provide resources so we can do more ambitious things.

Please forgive me for being so bossy.
I humbly suggest to complete this--'List Project' let us do it in a seperate thread...
the related posts should be moved there....

I think we should get productive and do the needfull.......just a suggestion to the people concerned....
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,179
Re: Kaur Power

An update :happy:

Aman ji has just locked a domain name and in the past day set up a WordPress Blog for this project. It looks fantastic and will accommodate many kinds of information as links, feature articles, slide shows, video, and an area for blogging. Once we have content then the kaurpower advocacy project will go public.

I have a question - also posted in the Mentors section - How do women who don't have Internet or don't know how to use it get access to the blog? Some of the women who would benefit most wouldn't be able to access it.

Suggestions?
 

simpy

SPNer
Mar 28, 2006
1,133
126
Re: Kaur Power

Thanks a lot Narayanjot Ji, I appretiate your effort and hardwrk.....
Thanks again


An update :happy:

Aman ji has just locked a domain name and in the past day set up a WordPress Blog for this project. It looks fantastic and will accommodate many kinds of information as links, feature articles, slide shows, video, and an area for blogging. Once we have content then the kaurpower advocacy project will go public.

I have a question - also posted in the Mentors section - How do women who don't have Internet or don't know how to use it get access to the blog? Some of the women who would benefit most wouldn't be able to access it.

Suggestions?
Thanks a lot Narayanjot Ji,

Byweekly/monthly... we can create a paper bulletine that covers all the important topics of that time period.. and distribute it -- all Gurdwaras, Temples,... Indian Restaurants, Grocery Stores.....

Appoint members( and non-members if SPN allows) to take charge of their areas--- Like I can serve all Detroit,AnnArbor, Canton, Lansing (Michigan, USA) area.. I can also find people who can serve Chicago, NewYork (USA)....Windsor, Tronto, Parts of Vancouver, Kitchner,.....(Canada)..and many many other...Like UK, Germany, Holland, Australia...and of course-- INDIA...

For every area we will need to provide information about their easily available and accessible support system...

For this we need those people who are willing to volunteer and who have regular access to Internet, , .....and have time and resources to make copies and distribute them on a regular basis...and provide feedback on a regular basis as well....

We can aso find volunteers to mail the information in their areas.......
 

Mai Harinder Kaur

Mentor
Writer
SPNer
Oct 6, 2006
1,755
2,732
67
British Columbia, Canada
Not to engage in Gurudwara politics, I find this a very uplifting, progressive idea/thought/plan. I'm sure that Mata Bhag Kaur would, too.

Mai Bhago Safe House :happykaur:

Women | Sikh Youth Campaign – Guru Nanak Sikh Temple, Surrey, BC

The issue of domestic violence has plagued the Sikh community in recent years fuelled by social inequality. As a long term goal, we plan to set up the Mai Bhago Safe House which will allow victims of domestic violence to escape abuse and allow them to rebuild their lives in a safe and supportive environment. We hope to build a team of professional Punjabi speaking counselors and support staff who will be integral to the success of this program.
It is our hope to link, liaise, and organize with community based organizations currently offering programs for women to address the lack of support services for women.
Counselling and support services will be brought in directly at the Gurdwara Sahib in an effort to reach a large number of women in our community. We will focus on education and empowering women in becoming strong, educated, and active members of the community.
 
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