Greetings all. I am a British Indian living in London. All of my family are Sikh, however I identify myself as agnostic at present. My agnosticism is unknown to all of my family but I genuinely respect Sikhism and their values and beliefs. I find myself at odds with explaining this to my family (immediate or otherwise) and the topic of marriage tends to creep up. I have hinted at times that I don't agree with limiting a potential spouse based on their religion or ethnicity and my family have frequently mentioned/hinted that they would be unhappy with anyone who wasn't a Sikh and Indian.
At first it seemed clear to me what my options were; find my own partner to make myself happy or conform to my families views to keep them happy. Me or them. I chose them.
It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. However this issue among many others have been a source of persistent stress and as a result I have been suffering from depression for the last ten years. The reason I'm focusing on this issue is because mentions of marriage have become more persistent. My family seeing and realising my depression over the years has been a source of a lot of tension and unhappiness. It seems at the moment that my choice was wrong. I chose them and the result is no party is happy.
I feel like there needs to be some sort of compromise from us both for either one of us, but hopefully both to become happy.
I'd like some advice on how to approach the situation and also hear from anyone who has or is experiencing anything similar or are able to relate.
At first it seemed clear to me what my options were; find my own partner to make myself happy or conform to my families views to keep them happy. Me or them. I chose them.
It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. However this issue among many others have been a source of persistent stress and as a result I have been suffering from depression for the last ten years. The reason I'm focusing on this issue is because mentions of marriage have become more persistent. My family seeing and realising my depression over the years has been a source of a lot of tension and unhappiness. It seems at the moment that my choice was wrong. I chose them and the result is no party is happy.
I feel like there needs to be some sort of compromise from us both for either one of us, but hopefully both to become happy.
I'd like some advice on how to approach the situation and also hear from anyone who has or is experiencing anything similar or are able to relate.
