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I Am Feeling Very Very Down Right Now . What Can I Do To Improve My Condition. A Hopeless Feeling

Seeker2013

Writer
SPNer
Aug 29, 2013
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I think its futile for me to say anything about me personally . Much has been said . Words mean nothing . I have spoken much , now do or die .Battle doesn't end with this exam . infact it starts now

however , from my example , maybe you can teach your kids an important lesson (hell , I am so stressed out now that apart from weird headaches , I had to google spelling of lesson *ouch . )
What ??
that even though its amazing to enjoy the comforts in early life on the income of your parents , never forget nothing in life comes for free . Everything has its price . Don't get addicted to coziness of life , teach them to stand up for themselves from early on in life ,

So they don't get a shock of realities one day when they begin questioning their place in this cruel world . So that they don't have to go through this drudgery , all this unnecessary anxiety . No one was there for my guidance when I was going through my formative years . My parents are effectively uneducated . They didn't knew . My dad thought I am some sort of super boy and that a go-school come-home boy who likes living in my own fantasies , would one day magically become aware of things and important things like choice of friends and career decisions automatically ( you can only learn from interacting and socializing with people .. )

I say the more the socialization , the better ! but socialization with people who are ahead of you or have something of quality to offer .

If I ever have kids i.e , I will always try my best they don't repeat the mistakes I did . IT FEELS SO AWFUL AFTER ALL .

I mean , what the **** is this anyways that I am going through ? . It definitely started with small minor problems accumulated through the years . And the reason I ignored them (incl my studies which is why the fourth attempt) is becoz ignoring something makes u feel relieved temporarily , but the problem simply doesn't go away . It comes back worse.

THIS IS AN OVERHEAD , not something productive . All it gives you is a dark circles under eyes and breaks your spirit , a chronic tension problem which I perhaps inherited from my mom (becoz she too has similar symptoms of worrying over things . )

I think I will leave now . Maybe this para was too long too .
 

Randip Singh

Writer
Historian
SPNer
May 25, 2005
2,935
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I am 23 yr old guy from mumbai (For those who are haven't read my last posts).
I am at a point in my life where I am feeling very down and I don't think I have the courage or energy to take steps in positive direction to improve my life . Because after repeated failures in my examination and a general fear of life's challenges , I have lost my confidence which was already less .
My status is that I am currently still in my education but not a good student I think .
I have failed in my 3 attempts of clearing my post-grad , M.Sc in computers . And this is the 4th attempt I am giving on 23rd october . But I feel utterly shameful and like some unworthy garbage that even now I am not fully prepared .And now I am feeling very much in anxiety and shivering in fear , and hence decided to post it here ! There are rumours that this 4th is the last attempt a student can give :\

I am prepared for 2 out of 4 papers
I did a calculation of days left and realized I CAN STILL PASS THIS TIME IF I UTILIZE THE DAYS BUT hey , I am so anxious now , I am unable to focus . My past 3 failures keep haunting me . I have nightmares of failing and feel my future is dark :\

I am really feeling very down right now . Yes you can call me that I am just a whiner who doesn't want to take positive steps to improve his condition but I have been pampered so much , this tough world scares me . I still live my parent and feed off them .

EVERY TIME I end up making the same mistakes ! april 2012 , oct 2012 , april 2013 and now oct 2013 . Every time the week before exams give chills to my soul and I swear my life that it won't happen next time . Next time I would be prepared , but NO ! :( everytime I end up making same mistakes. procrastination , and internet timepass and before u know it , the exam month is here !

Perhaps by now , you are not even reading this , thinking I deserve all the **** that came my way .
But TBH the deep habits embedded within me and the previous time's failures keep haunting me . I am finding it very hard to give this up and its destroying my career and thus my life

HELL ! I have shown morphed marksheets to my parents and they think I m passed with first class in post grad but I m not even cleared first year yet

My dad's friend who are very rich said he could get me a job , but he knows I am post grad done , and if I enter 'post grad' in my resume , I would have to provide marksheets for the same (which I don't have obviously coz m failed)
and If I don't write "MSc" in my resume , he might contact my dad and ask why I didn't fill "MSc" option . I can't tell truth to my dad coz it would create a storm in the house -- the original reason why I lied to them about me failing .

And right now my only hope is my oracle certified java programmer course in java which I have joined tuition for . This is only basis on which I hope to get a job in IT becoz my grad is in 2010 october (failed in my grad too for first time ) and its been 4 years . Why would any employer want a 4 yr old stale guy with 53% in his grad when he can get this year passout with good grades !

Its not jst about studies . I feel like a loser in life in general . I missed out on everything you would normally do ! enjoying college , keeping a balance between studies and enjoyment , SPORTS , making good contacts or anything for that matter

I just don't feel prepared for difficulties and challenges of life . I feel like the most pessimist guy in this freakin universe .
HOW DO I GET MYSELF OUT OF THIS RUT but I am too addicted to my old ways! Hell , people with decent marks and degrees have a hard time finding and retaining jobs in today's jobs market . What a wallflower like me gonna do ! :(

I am feeling really down

As soon as the exam tension goes , I go back in my faulty , destructive ways which then set up the stage for failure in my next exam !

but having lied to my parents when I failed first time to prevent an upheavel by my dad in home is now eating me in ! I am a liar whose lie could be caught any day ! I feel guilty of such a big lie to my parents . My mom rejoices thinking her son cleared MSc with first class but I know I couldn't clear it in 3 attempts
I lied in the first place to make them happy thinking I will clear next time but .. -_-

I'm very successful today at 45.....why? because I have failed many times in life. Each time I failed I learned. Sometimes I had to let go and follow another path. ...I learned.

I suggest you concentrate on 3 things:

Mental - make sure you read. Even if it not what you are studying for. Something that taxes the brain

Physical - get your boss in shape. Get to the gym. If you look physically good you feel good.

Spiritual - Read Bani and meditate, and apply it to your daily living.

The above priciple are our Miri - Piri or Shakti - Bhakti priciples.

Spiritual roughly translates to Piri / Bhaghti side

Mental/Physical - to our Miri/Shakti side.

Get yourself in balance and no challenge will seem too big for you.

Sava Laakh Se Ekh Laaraaooon!!!! :kaurkhalsaflagblue:
 

Harry Haller

Panga Master
SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,769
8,194
55
Seekerji

your writings have given me more food for thought than you could ever imagine. Many of us are stuck in the same trap that you are in, but few admit to it. Like zombies we go through our day, paying lip service to our lives, going through the motions, whilst neglecting the very actions we need to be taking to make our lives better. For those that are honest enough, the resulting interaction is alike a tsunami of wretched self pity that can make us look like petulant children. The problem is, when it has passed, and the storms have gone, we are stuck with the image of the petulant child.

My advice to you, and as it happens to me too, is to spend as much of your day taking the action to make things better, not to think about the consequences of not doing, because you are doing, not to talk about it, to anyone, and as each day passes, and as each action brings you closer to your goal, to leave behind the persona of the petulant child, and grow up into a man. Depression, lethargy, weak discipline are all highly addictive states, the more you talk about it, the more you convince yourself that that is all you are, the more you will make a self fulfilling prophecy come true, the brain is a wonderful organ, in as much as it can benefit from optimism, positivity and good results, it can also decompose into mush if subjected to long periods of pessimism, negativity and failure,.

just some thoughts
 
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