- Jan 31, 2011
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How often do we hear these words on a daily basis, either in the spoken form, or in body language, there are a hell of a lot of people that need help, all sorts of help, financial help, emotional help, help with issues of the past, physical help, everyone needs help, a good Sikh to my mind is there to help anyone.
Or are they? help is a very strange concept, I have helped many in my life, and I can now honestly say that most of it was pointless. Pointless for me, pointless for the person I was trying to help, the more you help, in any way, the more you are taking away the ability of the helped to help themselves. Help must be given tactfully and with discretion, the prime goal must be to help others help themselves, it is not good enough to stop on a motorway junction and change someone's tyre, it is a disservice to all, better to change the tyre together, so that the next time they can change it themselves without any fuss, now that is help. The former is merely lip service that validates the actions of the helped, ie, if I stand here looking pathetic, someone will change my tyre for me, next time I will look double pathetic and I might get the interior vacuumed as well!
Now when people ask me for help, be it lending money, time, energy, I ask myself what effect this will have on them, if its money, is it just extending the time when the chickens come home to roost? Would it be wiser to try and assist in a plan to cut spending and increase income? If people want help to be a better person, to better themselves, than such help should be available in abundance, but if people need help to live, then it would appear that their model for living is flawed, and as such, having exhausted their own resources by refusing to change the model, they will only exhaust mine. To do such out of love is indeed the biggest misunderstanding in the world, since when did doing something out of love mean one should turn into an imbecile, devoid of all sense and logic, and simply doing such because 'I love you', this makes no point at all, goddy gave us a brain, logic, sense, to be used, honed, stretched, not to have it put in a box and locked because love is in play.
Help me! yes of course, I am a Sikh, that is what I do, but all I can do is help you help yourself, anything more is just going to make things worse for you, and for me.
Or are they? help is a very strange concept, I have helped many in my life, and I can now honestly say that most of it was pointless. Pointless for me, pointless for the person I was trying to help, the more you help, in any way, the more you are taking away the ability of the helped to help themselves. Help must be given tactfully and with discretion, the prime goal must be to help others help themselves, it is not good enough to stop on a motorway junction and change someone's tyre, it is a disservice to all, better to change the tyre together, so that the next time they can change it themselves without any fuss, now that is help. The former is merely lip service that validates the actions of the helped, ie, if I stand here looking pathetic, someone will change my tyre for me, next time I will look double pathetic and I might get the interior vacuumed as well!
Now when people ask me for help, be it lending money, time, energy, I ask myself what effect this will have on them, if its money, is it just extending the time when the chickens come home to roost? Would it be wiser to try and assist in a plan to cut spending and increase income? If people want help to be a better person, to better themselves, than such help should be available in abundance, but if people need help to live, then it would appear that their model for living is flawed, and as such, having exhausted their own resources by refusing to change the model, they will only exhaust mine. To do such out of love is indeed the biggest misunderstanding in the world, since when did doing something out of love mean one should turn into an imbecile, devoid of all sense and logic, and simply doing such because 'I love you', this makes no point at all, goddy gave us a brain, logic, sense, to be used, honed, stretched, not to have it put in a box and locked because love is in play.
Help me! yes of course, I am a Sikh, that is what I do, but all I can do is help you help yourself, anything more is just going to make things worse for you, and for me.
