- Jan 31, 2011
- 5,769
- 8,194
- 54
Harry the khalsa sat in his study, it gave him a perfect view of the ongoing in the physical world, the vessel remain unchanged since the outing to Sachkand, the words from Herman Hesse's damien rang through his head 'The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God'
Harry's world was indeed falling apart, in the past the destruction of the world was the best part of personality destruction/recreation. Many times before Harry had destroyed his personality, and waited for rebirth, but it never came, the personality merely recreated itself as per circumstances would dictate.
Harry the Khalsa, had indeed reunited all aspects of Harry, but to no end, instead the fractured parts of Harrys personality were now in the Khalsa's head, and every bit as confusing and dangerous as they were before, nothing had in fact been achieved, if anything it had made things much much worse. The expectation of peace, understanding and union had not materialised, whereas before there was no expectation, just being, the new feelings of confusion and deflation were not good.
What to do now, put the clown and wolf to the sword?, they have become boring and tedious and predictable, maybe their existence validated the feelings each sought to satisfy, Harry the Khalsa had gone from an independent voice of peace and optimism to an all encompassing mess of khlasa, clown and wolf.
During this time, the black dog's presence became more frequent, the air was rich with the smell of death, the smell of the end, it was easy to be pure, Harry the Khalsa mused, with no impurity, being pure was a doddle, but only the creator was pure, the rest of us are dammed with impurity as soon as we are able to feel, it was at this time, Harry the Khalsa wished to go back to being a baby, if only to feel pure for the small amount of time before impurity kicked in,
Harry was careful to speak to as few people as possible, his brain screamed with the laughter of the clown, the howling of the wolf, and the loud praying of the khalsa, he was exhausted, sleep had not come for 3 or 4 days now, the beard was longer, the hair even more unkempt, the end was near, and he knew it, somewhere in his mind, he kept seeing a light switch, switch goes up, light, switch goes down dark, the thought was replaced with a fat homer simpson, complete with homer commentary, light goes off, light goes on, light goes off light goes on, Krusty the clown then joined in, hey hey hey hey light goes on, light goes off.
'are we really all going to die today' asked harry the clown, 'yes' said harry the wolf, ' Harry khalsa did not merge with us to save us, he merged with us to kill us' , 'but we are part of him' said the clown, 'no' said the wolf, 'we validate him, we invent personalities that do things and take the responsibility, his desires will not die, but no sikh should fractured like he is, I am ready to die',
light goes on, light goes off
20 years ago, at this precise point, Harry would have thrown himself under a bus rather than suffer the mental torture not only of watching his mental personalities die, but watching his physical persona die too, it is a painful process, it is also a shameful process, and a rather self indulgent process, to be living in the west, with prospects and a full belly, and to still be as miserable as a child in starving africa, is somewhat ridiculous,
light goes off
light goes on
'hey marge i think ive broken it'
'hey hey hey hey it works again'
'Harry sets himself extremely low standards, which he then fails to achieve'
'sir could you blow into this please'
light goes off
'look harry, look, look at the dogs, they love you'
light goes on
As dusk settled, three shrouds lay on the floor,
Harry was alone, finally, alone, there were no more voices, in the distance, he could see sachkand, glittering like a million diamonds, and behind him, he could see darkness, he looked below, a line had been drawn in the sand, he was standing on the line, he felt nothing, moving ever so slightly over the line to sachkand, he felt a peace, a contentment, he felt no desire other than to be near sachkand. Moving back, he could feel desire, he wanted to do things, feel things, experience things, there were no voices anymore, just feelings, feelings of love and peace, feelings of lust and insomnia, depending on what he did, and where he stood,
'what do i do' he shouted, 'i have lost everything, all that i am'
he looked up, expecting a voice, except there was no voice, just a small , but very bright star, glittering, Harry stepped towards the brightness of Sachkand, the star shone brightly, he stepped towards the dark, the star faded, but still shone bright
'This is it?????????????????????, you take away my clown, my wolf, and a host of other manifestations and all I get is lightness, darkness and a star????????????????????????
there was no reply, there would never be a reply again, just lightness, darkness and the truth to guide, welcome to level 2 , Harry
Harry's world was indeed falling apart, in the past the destruction of the world was the best part of personality destruction/recreation. Many times before Harry had destroyed his personality, and waited for rebirth, but it never came, the personality merely recreated itself as per circumstances would dictate.
Harry the Khalsa, had indeed reunited all aspects of Harry, but to no end, instead the fractured parts of Harrys personality were now in the Khalsa's head, and every bit as confusing and dangerous as they were before, nothing had in fact been achieved, if anything it had made things much much worse. The expectation of peace, understanding and union had not materialised, whereas before there was no expectation, just being, the new feelings of confusion and deflation were not good.
What to do now, put the clown and wolf to the sword?, they have become boring and tedious and predictable, maybe their existence validated the feelings each sought to satisfy, Harry the Khalsa had gone from an independent voice of peace and optimism to an all encompassing mess of khlasa, clown and wolf.
During this time, the black dog's presence became more frequent, the air was rich with the smell of death, the smell of the end, it was easy to be pure, Harry the Khalsa mused, with no impurity, being pure was a doddle, but only the creator was pure, the rest of us are dammed with impurity as soon as we are able to feel, it was at this time, Harry the Khalsa wished to go back to being a baby, if only to feel pure for the small amount of time before impurity kicked in,
Harry was careful to speak to as few people as possible, his brain screamed with the laughter of the clown, the howling of the wolf, and the loud praying of the khalsa, he was exhausted, sleep had not come for 3 or 4 days now, the beard was longer, the hair even more unkempt, the end was near, and he knew it, somewhere in his mind, he kept seeing a light switch, switch goes up, light, switch goes down dark, the thought was replaced with a fat homer simpson, complete with homer commentary, light goes off, light goes on, light goes off light goes on, Krusty the clown then joined in, hey hey hey hey light goes on, light goes off.
'are we really all going to die today' asked harry the clown, 'yes' said harry the wolf, ' Harry khalsa did not merge with us to save us, he merged with us to kill us' , 'but we are part of him' said the clown, 'no' said the wolf, 'we validate him, we invent personalities that do things and take the responsibility, his desires will not die, but no sikh should fractured like he is, I am ready to die',
light goes on, light goes off
20 years ago, at this precise point, Harry would have thrown himself under a bus rather than suffer the mental torture not only of watching his mental personalities die, but watching his physical persona die too, it is a painful process, it is also a shameful process, and a rather self indulgent process, to be living in the west, with prospects and a full belly, and to still be as miserable as a child in starving africa, is somewhat ridiculous,
light goes off
light goes on
'hey marge i think ive broken it'
'hey hey hey hey it works again'
'Harry sets himself extremely low standards, which he then fails to achieve'
'sir could you blow into this please'
light goes off
'look harry, look, look at the dogs, they love you'
light goes on
As dusk settled, three shrouds lay on the floor,
Harry was alone, finally, alone, there were no more voices, in the distance, he could see sachkand, glittering like a million diamonds, and behind him, he could see darkness, he looked below, a line had been drawn in the sand, he was standing on the line, he felt nothing, moving ever so slightly over the line to sachkand, he felt a peace, a contentment, he felt no desire other than to be near sachkand. Moving back, he could feel desire, he wanted to do things, feel things, experience things, there were no voices anymore, just feelings, feelings of love and peace, feelings of lust and insomnia, depending on what he did, and where he stood,
'what do i do' he shouted, 'i have lost everything, all that i am'
he looked up, expecting a voice, except there was no voice, just a small , but very bright star, glittering, Harry stepped towards the brightness of Sachkand, the star shone brightly, he stepped towards the dark, the star faded, but still shone bright
'This is it?????????????????????, you take away my clown, my wolf, and a host of other manifestations and all I get is lightness, darkness and a star????????????????????????
there was no reply, there would never be a reply again, just lightness, darkness and the truth to guide, welcome to level 2 , Harry
