Bota Singh's Job Application
by KENNETH WAY
WALMART JOB APPLICANT REVEALED ...
Herein below is an actual job application that this 75-year old submitted in California, U.S.A. It appears that, after getting fed up after a life-time of getting rejections - "You are over-qualified!" - "You do not have enough North-American experience!" - "We don't recognize foreign degrees!" - Sardar Bota Singh decided to use a fresh approach.
Rumours are that they hired him ... because he was funny!
JOB APPLICATION
NAME: Bota Singh (a.k.a. Grumpy old *******)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice-President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 per annum plus stock options and a "golden parachute" style of severance package. If that is not possible, make an offer and we can negotiate.
EDUCATION: Yes.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more apppropriate question here would be - "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes , so they tell me.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy supermodel from Bhatinda who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh, yes, absolutely.
April 1, 2010
by KENNETH WAY
WALMART JOB APPLICANT REVEALED ...
Herein below is an actual job application that this 75-year old submitted in California, U.S.A. It appears that, after getting fed up after a life-time of getting rejections - "You are over-qualified!" - "You do not have enough North-American experience!" - "We don't recognize foreign degrees!" - Sardar Bota Singh decided to use a fresh approach.
Rumours are that they hired him ... because he was funny!
JOB APPLICATION
NAME: Bota Singh (a.k.a. Grumpy old *******)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice-President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 per annum plus stock options and a "golden parachute" style of severance package. If that is not possible, make an offer and we can negotiate.
EDUCATION: Yes.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more apppropriate question here would be - "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes , so they tell me.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy supermodel from Bhatinda who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh, yes, absolutely.
April 1, 2010
