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Leisure Divorce Letters Exchanged

Discussion in 'Business, Lifestyle & Leisure' started by Gyani Jarnail Singh, Feb 23, 2009.

  1. Gyani Jarnail Singh

    Gyani Jarnail Singh Malaysia
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    Sawa lakh se EK larraoan
    Mentor Writer SPNer Thinker

    Jul 4, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Dear wife,
    I’m writing you this letter to tell you that
    I’m leaving you for good.
    I’ve been a good man to you for seven years
    and I have nothing to show for it.
    These last two weeks have been hell.
    Your boss called to tell me that
    you had quit your job today and
    that was the last straw.

    Last week, you came home and didn’t
    even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut,
    cooked your favourite meal,
    and even wore a brand new pair of silk shorts
    later that night.

    You came home, nibbled at your food
    for two minutes, and went straight to sleep
    after watching all of your soaps.
    You don’t tell me you love me anymore,
    you don’t want sex anymore or anything.
    Either you’re cheating on me
    or you don’t love me.
    Whichever is the case….I’m gone.
    Your EX-Husband

    P.S. Don’t try to find me.

    Your sister and I are moving away

    to a different town together. Have a great life!

    Dear Ex-Husband,
    Nothing has made my day more enjoyable
    than receiving your letter.
    It’s true that you and I have been married
    for seven years, although a ‘good man’
    is a far cry from what you’ve been.
    I watch my soaps so much because
    they drown out your constant
    whining and griping.
    It’s just too bad it doesn’t work.
    Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut
    last week…..and actually the first thing
    that came to my mind was
    “You look just like a girl”
    but my mother raised me not to say anything
    at all if you can’t say anything nice.
    And when you cooked my favourite meal,
    you must have gotten me confused with my
    SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
    seven years ago.
    I turned away from you when you had
    those new silk shorts on because
    the price tag was still on them.
    I prayed that it was just a coincidence
    that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars
    from me that morning and your silk
    shorts were $49.99…
    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that
    we could work it out.
    So when I discovered that I had hit the
    lottery for twenty million dollars,
    I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii.
    But when I got home you were gone.
    Everything happens for a reason I guess.
    I hope you have the fulfilling life
    you’ve always wanted.
    My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote,
    you won’t get a cent from me.
    So take care.
    Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

    P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this
    my sister ‘Carla’…was born Carl.
    I hope that’s not a problem for you.
    MY wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale.
    And then the fight started.
    • Like Like x 4
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  3. Archived_member7

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    Mar 27, 2006
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