Hi, this is my first time here and i just want to let a few things out.
I find that i've become very dissillusioned with Sikhism, mostly because of what i see in my personal life.
Because of my life circumstances i've not been one of the Gurdwara croud and have very little ties to the religion itself. I can't read or write punjabi and i can speak very little of it. Maybe that could also be a factor contributing to my disillusionment.
I find that people think that once they have the 5K's that they are really sikhs, but i find that the 5K's are just symbolisms there to remind one of one's path.
My grandmother is learning bani and how to play the drums and going to the temple and praying, yet she won't eat anything that anyone brings to her house for fear of black magic, my mother, is listening to more religious songs and is keeping her hair uncut and wants to stop plucking her hair after she retires, yet she thinks chinese are dirty, white's don't takes baths, muslims are..etc and the list goes on. And i cannot marry a lower caste guy because she would probably disown me, not that i am in love with a lower caste guy or anything.
The more religious they try to become the more hyprocritical they become to me. I don't know what's written in the Guru Grant Sahib but i feel that if one is afraid of black magic, then one does not have full trust and faith in god, if one judges people and brings caste into everything then whats the use of not cutting the hair and listening to more bani's.
I am at the point now where i think the community is made up of mostly hyprocrites who hide behind their kara and turban. Arn't we supposed to be of no caste ?? arnt we supposed to believe only in god and not in rituals. If someone becomes sikh by appearance but not by character what's the use of being one??
I could take amrit and grow my hair and do all those things that require me to show on the outside that i'm a good sikh but if i tell my children to marry someone from the same caste, what's the use of me doing all these external things if my thoughts and my character still has stains.
I can't reconcile myself with this, it's not the guru's i have a problem with, not sikhism itself, it's the people who aspire to be good sihks by doing all thses external things but who never examine their souls and their chaacters in the process.
I don't think god will forsake me if i cut my hair, neither do i think i will be a good sikh if i go to the gurdwara everyday. I'm confused and disheartened. I took off my kara yesterday because i don't like what i see happening with sikhism and all it's symbolisms which seem to be taking precidence over the real meaning of sikhism.
My father once told me that the more religious people become, the more hypocritical they are, and from what i see, i agree with him.
I find that i've become very dissillusioned with Sikhism, mostly because of what i see in my personal life.
Because of my life circumstances i've not been one of the Gurdwara croud and have very little ties to the religion itself. I can't read or write punjabi and i can speak very little of it. Maybe that could also be a factor contributing to my disillusionment.
I find that people think that once they have the 5K's that they are really sikhs, but i find that the 5K's are just symbolisms there to remind one of one's path.
My grandmother is learning bani and how to play the drums and going to the temple and praying, yet she won't eat anything that anyone brings to her house for fear of black magic, my mother, is listening to more religious songs and is keeping her hair uncut and wants to stop plucking her hair after she retires, yet she thinks chinese are dirty, white's don't takes baths, muslims are..etc and the list goes on. And i cannot marry a lower caste guy because she would probably disown me, not that i am in love with a lower caste guy or anything.
The more religious they try to become the more hyprocritical they become to me. I don't know what's written in the Guru Grant Sahib but i feel that if one is afraid of black magic, then one does not have full trust and faith in god, if one judges people and brings caste into everything then whats the use of not cutting the hair and listening to more bani's.
I am at the point now where i think the community is made up of mostly hyprocrites who hide behind their kara and turban. Arn't we supposed to be of no caste ?? arnt we supposed to believe only in god and not in rituals. If someone becomes sikh by appearance but not by character what's the use of being one??
I could take amrit and grow my hair and do all those things that require me to show on the outside that i'm a good sikh but if i tell my children to marry someone from the same caste, what's the use of me doing all these external things if my thoughts and my character still has stains.
I can't reconcile myself with this, it's not the guru's i have a problem with, not sikhism itself, it's the people who aspire to be good sihks by doing all thses external things but who never examine their souls and their chaacters in the process.
I don't think god will forsake me if i cut my hair, neither do i think i will be a good sikh if i go to the gurdwara everyday. I'm confused and disheartened. I took off my kara yesterday because i don't like what i see happening with sikhism and all it's symbolisms which seem to be taking precidence over the real meaning of sikhism.
My father once told me that the more religious people become, the more hypocritical they are, and from what i see, i agree with him.