Depressed And Lonely

[sharon1991]

Hi, I'm 25 from UK and live with family. I don't have a close relationship with my dad, brother or dads wife. I only talk to my grandma but she only speaks Punjabi. After university I lost contact with friends and family wasn't the best either. After my mom died 10 years ago my dad didn't make effort to talk to me and just ignored me. My brother never talks to me either and doesn't seem bothered about me. The only place I found people to talk with were strangers on the internet. My dads sisters and cousins started talking down to me and it started making me depressed so I stopped visiting them and when my dad noticed he started arguing with me and didn't understand how I felt. He cares more about what others think and I don't think he understands what family should be. Nobody in my house has taught me about Sikhi and I think it could help me because I get so lonely. I'm thinking of getting my own place in a few years because I also feel like I don't have enough space and privacy and I just go to work or shops. Most of the time I stay in my room. I don't feel comfortable around my dad or brother. My dad only talks to me about negative things and it only leVes me feeling depressed. I sonetimes feel like I'm not a good enough person to start reading gurbani. I do have bad habits and my depression might be a barrier. Anyone got any advice?

 

[RD1]

That is certainly a difficult situation do deal with.

I don't think anyone can be 'not good enough' to read gurbani. Gurbani is for everyone. Everyone is equally a carrier of the Divine, and therefore everyone can be good enough. Perhaps reading some gurbani will help to put your mind at ease, help you connect, help you get closer to yourself. Connecting with Sikhi can truly be fulfilling and beautiful.

We all have bad habits. At least you are aware of them, and if you want to change the bad habits, awareness is the first step. No one is perfect.

If you are truly going through a depression, and have not already done so, there is professional help available for you. No need to keep suffering!

 

[Snehal]

Hello! I can understand how you are feel right now, at some point most of the people experience that no-one understands us or wants to talk to us. I don't know what your interests are, but I will recommend you to pray and meditate. It will surely help in removing unwanted thoughts. You can meet new people, don't just make friends online. Making friends online and just communicating people online will make you feel more isolated and lonely. I hope this will help.

 

[Amardeep Singh 1000]

That is certainly a difficult situation do deal with.

I don't think anyone can be 'not good enough' to read gurbani. Gurbani is for everyone. Everyone is equally a carrier of the Divine, and therefore everyone can be good enough. Perhaps reading some gurbani will help to put your mind at ease, help you connect, help you get closer to yourself. Connecting with Sikhi can truly be fulfilling and beautiful.

We all have bad habits. At least you are aware of them, and if you want to change the bad habits, awareness is the first step. No one is perfect.

If you are truly going through a depression, and have not already done so, there is professional help available for you. No need to keep suffering!

I think that is very good advice. No matter what you have done, Guru Sahib still has love for you and wants you to grow, so Gurbani is definitely for you. Say Japji, Jap Sahib, Savaiye, Chaupai, and Anandu Sahib in the morning, Rehras in the evening, and Kirtan Sohila before bed. Then say Ardas after each set of bani. That will give you a lot of encouragement and strength. Ardas always lifts my spirits and helps me put my own difficulties into perspective.

Hopefully you can get some closer friends. Maybe some potential friends are there through social media though you must be careful and discriminating as there are some people who misrepresent themselves. Unfortunately, often good things take a lot of time. Maybe you living on your own is a good idea. If you have a roommate maybe you can become friends with them. If you get really depressed, maybe seeing a professional will help you.