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Dealing With A Grumpy Father That Makes You Angry

Seeker2013

Writer
SPNer
Aug 29, 2013
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I just feel irritated towards him.
Its not that we had a healthy relationship in the first place anytime.

But I just don't feel any warmth in his company . His remarks are mean , and I don't like them.
Earlier I was unemployed, but even now that I have a job, he still calls me lazy and loser .
He speaks in a loud voice all the time . If I tell him to change, he says his voice is like that. And its as if he just wants to pick up fights.

I really feel {censored}ed off. He gives me too much krodh and then there's that melodramatic mother of mine who blows up things out of proportion . She almost has OCD i guess and then she gives me lecture like for half an hour if she feels I have wronged her in anyway. And then those tears and emotional out-pour.

I don't have any siblings which I think makes it worse.

I don't wanna be neglectful towards my parents for all they have done for me, but I just feel so much of krodh and annoyance at their behaviour sometimes. Seeing god in them doesn't seem to help

what should I do ? :(
 

Harry Haller

SPNer
Jan 31, 2011
5,762
8,156
50
Has it ever occurred to you that they probably have their own problems which they have to face alone, and which makes them behave as they do? Being an only child, you are used to being the sole focus of their attention, of their lives revolving round you, of your happiness being dominant in the list of happiness, it is easy to get pulled into this so badly, you think of your parents as perfect people whose only role is to assist you in your journey.

They have problems, they have issues, we all deal with the void differently, your dad deals with it by being grumpy, your mom by being overdramatic, take a good look at indian films of the era when they were growing up, and hey presto, the women dealt with things by being overdramatic, and the men shouted a lot and were generally grumpy, that is their template, you are lucky, you are a free thinker, you can break this cycle, they were not so, they are now stuck with it,
 

RD1

Writer
SPNer
Sep 26, 2016
361
151
Has it ever occurred to you that they probably have their own problems which they have to face alone, and which makes them behave as they do
Empathy is perhaps the key. Sometimes when we focus more on trying to understand why a person is behaving the way that they are, as opposed to focusing more on the emotions they elicit within us, it can help to make more sense of the situation. Hmm this can foster the "seeing God in all."
 

sikhconvert

SPNer
Aug 28, 2016
18
16
23
Las Vegas
I deal with a very similar situation. It doesn't make you a bad person for feeling frustrated, I just remember that, for all their flaws, there will come a day where I won't hear their voice again. That calms me down from being frustrated . :)
 

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