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Conflict in My Head

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Conflict in My Head

rupinderjit

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Sat Sri Akal everyone.

I have one conflict that keeps coming to my head and I cannot get past it.

So as I have done my nursing and have worked as a nurse back home in India. I have always been a nurse who cannot ignore her work and patients. I was given shifts to work in the ICU soon after a few months being with stable patients, so I was not so experienced with critically ill patients, critical thinking and observations.

One day I had to do a CVP me
20510
asurement (takes around 5 minutes) on a patient who looked stable but actually was not. He had just been off the ventilator a night before I guess and he had some major fluid complications either because of a lung or heart disease (been around the year 2010 or 2011). I had to make him lie straight on the bed so I could measure the fluid volume through CVP that was ordered by the doctor.

As I had him laid down and was checking he looked a little restless but I asked him if he is ok, he told me he is fine but after few seconds he told me through body gestures that he is not fine, I quickly got him up and by then my other senior nurse who was out for few minutes came while I had him up and she turned the oxygen on for him to breathe with the mask. After that his condition just went down, doctors experienced and inexperienced just doing what they thought was right.

The next day I came on my shift and I was told the patient passed away saying some doctor came and ordered more sedation (whatever reason to blame) and he passed away.

For a while this didn't bother me but because i deal with religious OCD once this thought came to my mind that it all started by having him lie down, it just never left me that I should have got him up before he stated he was fine or do something else, but at the same time I tell myself how do I know if he was not feeling well or unable to handle the procedure. At the same time, I tell myself how can someone just die without God's Hukum.

What if he had no more life left and his death was nothing but Hukum.

I may sound silly but this is the way my troubled mind works.

It's like going through such conflicts and these thoughts come to me the most when I am studying, as I am preparing to give the competitive exam in Canada, I have to face this thought more often. I want to be a great nurse but if my mind keeps going crazy like this I would care less and struggle more in my head.

How can I resolve this conflict?

Thank you for reading.
 

Harry Haller

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My take on Sikhism and the role of god is that there is no intervention period, I have no interest in a god that listens to the prayers of the swine to grant them marriage, luck, riches and social climbing, whilst ignoring the starving and the abused, so it is easier for me to assume god observes, and that is all.

all we can do is our best, and leave the rest to luck and circumstance, otherwise you will quickly find the concept of a caring god makes little sense given the state of the world
 

Gyani Jarnail Singh

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All dears,
According to SGGS, once the Creator Self Created Himself and Created His Creation and decided to RESIDE WITHIN the CREATION, He set in motion certain Laws which we call HUKM. The Relevant shabds in simple Punjabi language are in Asa Vaar by Guru Nanak Ji, and which we listen to DAILY.

Ever since, NOBODY and NOTHING is OUTSIDE these Laws....Hukmeh andar sabh ko Bahar Hukm na koi (Jup). Thus in Nature Laws are permanent....Fire BURNS...WATER DROWNS....the BORN will grow, get old and die...Lions EAT the new born of buffaloes and deers etc ..dont we feel "pity" looking at the buffalo mother seeing her new born being eaten right before her eyes..stray dogs being abused etc etc...BUT its NATURE at WORK....only HUMANS have the ability to CHOOSE to be good/bad/beautiful/ugly.

The CREATOR RESIDES within His Creation BUT DOESNT INTERFERE. What will be..will be...we DO our BEST...as doctors, teachers, lawyers, architects, nurses, whatever....There is no concept of Paap Punn Sin Merit Heaven hell Punishment Reward system in Gurmat. Authentic Gurmat is geared towars the INTERNALISATION of the GUNNS, VIRTUES of the CREATOR....compassion, kindness, love, geneorisity, humanity etc etc...His GUNNS are UNCOUNTABLE....so an entire Life time is NOT ENOUGH..thats why we are called SIKH....Life time STUDENTS.....whoever says He/she is FINISHED LEARNING is a FOOL.

Take some time out to LISTEN to the JUP BANNEE and SIDH GHOSHT Vidoes of Dr Karminder Singh available on SPN and also at his webiste: www.sikhivicharforum.org and SVF You Tube Channel. Dr Ji has spent almost 16 hours of preparation on each video...to help us understand how to INTERNALISE HIS GUNNS to live Life the Gurmat Way which is the SOLE purpose we came to this Earth.
 

rupinderjit

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All dears,
According to SGGS, once the Creator Self Created Himself and Created His Creation and decided to RESIDE WITHIN the CREATION, He set in motion certain Laws which we call HUKM. The Relevant shabds in simple Punjabi language are in Asa Vaar by Guru Nanak Ji, and which we listen to DAILY.

Ever since, NOBODY and NOTHING is OUTSIDE these Laws....Hukmeh andar sabh ko Bahar Hukm na koi (Jup). Thus in Nature Laws are permanent....Fire BURNS...WATER DROWNS....the BORN will grow, get old and die...Lions EAT the new born of buffaloes and deers etc ..dont we feel "pity" looking at the buffalo mother seeing her new born being eaten right before her eyes..stray dogs being abused etc etc...BUT its NATURE at WORK....only HUMANS have the ability to CHOOSE to be good/bad/beautiful/ugly.

The CREATOR RESIDES within His Creation BUT DOESNT INTERFERE. What will be..will be...we DO our BEST...as doctors, teachers, lawyers, architects, nurses, whatever....There is no concept of Paap Punn Sin Merit Heaven hell Punishment Reward system in Gurmat. Authentic Gurmat is geared towars the INTERNALISATION of the GUNNS, VIRTUES of the CREATOR....compassion, kindness, love, geneorisity, humanity etc etc...His GUNNS are UNCOUNTABLE....so an entire Life time is NOT ENOUGH..thats why we are called SIKH....Life time STUDENTS.....whoever says He/she is FINISHED LEARNING is a FOOL.

Take some time out to LISTEN to the JUP BANNEE and SIDH GHOSHT Vidoes of Dr Karminder Singh available on SPN and also at his webiste: www.sikhivicharforum.org and SVF You Tube Channel. Dr Ji has spent almost 16 hours of preparation on each video...to help us understand how to INTERNALISE HIS GUNNS to live Life the Gurmat Way which is the SOLE purpose we came to this Earth.
Thank you for the reply. That is what I am doing, I am going through the Jup Bani lectures right now. I am unlearning relearning lots of information!! I cannot tell you just with few lectures whole lot of my mind has been cleared from the rituals and conflicts I had. I guess as I keep listening lots of other things will get cleared too.
 
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