- Jan 31, 2011
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Well the lust saturation/drying out is going reasonably, although I have often thought I functioned 'ok', clearly, I did not, but, and this is what I love about Sikhi, aversion is as bad as attatchment, in real terms, to hate your lust is as bad as loving it. Strangely, the other five thieves seem to follow in line, since I put lust in a wrestling hold and made it submit, the other four have left me completely alone, so , there is lust, eyes bulging, with my arm arm round its neck, I could choke it and snap its puny neck right now, I feel like screaming at it, how could a puny weak pathetic creature like you own me, make me do things, rule my life, when the reality is that you are nothing, pathetic creature, I want to watch it suffer, I want to watch its eyes pop out, I want it to beg for mercy, and it does, it begs and pleads and makes promises, tries to cut deals, but in my head, I see all the people in my life that I have so much more time for, my parents, my wife, my stepson, my brother, the myriad of people that come and go in the shop, people that my lust allows me to help, in exchange for submission as a reward, in my minds eye, my lust looked like a rather pathetic man in his 60's, drawn, old, weak, a dirty old man in a raincoat, I thought back to my actions in my twenties, when I left home to find London, an orgy of Gambling, intoxicants, women, smart suits, big cars, and the only warm memories from those days are the cars.
I have decided to personalise the thieves, maybe this will help, Lust is a dirty old smelly man in a raincoat with eyes like a dead fish, however, lust did not always look like this to me, he used to be a young healthy strong happy boy with a twinkle in his eye, its just that now he has aged into a pervert with only memories. However he is a figment of my brain, how can he change so much, well if he has changed, then he can change again, although I am not averse to the idea of lust per se, the depiction represents what lust has turned into, and I really do not like it, aversion to old dirty dead eyed men in raincoats, I think is acceptable in these circumstances, in my minds eye, the hold tightened, the old mans eyes bulged, more promises, more deals, when all other means have failed, it is good and right to reach for the sword, I broke his neck.
So first step, lust now has to be refefined, as it has been redefined throughout my life, I like the idea of a majestic bull, with power and purpose, who knows when to behave like a lust monster, and when to not
I have decided to personalise the thieves, maybe this will help, Lust is a dirty old smelly man in a raincoat with eyes like a dead fish, however, lust did not always look like this to me, he used to be a young healthy strong happy boy with a twinkle in his eye, its just that now he has aged into a pervert with only memories. However he is a figment of my brain, how can he change so much, well if he has changed, then he can change again, although I am not averse to the idea of lust per se, the depiction represents what lust has turned into, and I really do not like it, aversion to old dirty dead eyed men in raincoats, I think is acceptable in these circumstances, in my minds eye, the hold tightened, the old mans eyes bulged, more promises, more deals, when all other means have failed, it is good and right to reach for the sword, I broke his neck.
So first step, lust now has to be refefined, as it has been redefined throughout my life, I like the idea of a majestic bull, with power and purpose, who knows when to behave like a lust monster, and when to not
