To be honest Religious Sikh Families also want their sons to marry within Religion .as far being clear is concerned it is written in Rehat maryada which every sikh should try to follow.Also Sikhism is clear that Sikhs should not smoke or drink alchohol.I know but say a sikh guy started a relationship with a non-sikh girl.Would the principle of equality still stand? Where is it quite clear? Even if it is isn't it also clear that sikhs shouldn't drink alcohol or inhale tobacco?
But it seems that not every Sikh follows that to the letter.This is where im having trouble understanding.Some people say aslong as you respect the religion.Others say it doesn't matter the colour, caste etc.Then theres the teachings that the gurdwaras are open to all.When it comes to marriage though they have to be sikh?To be honest Religious Sikh Families also want their sons to marry within Religion .as far being clear is concerned it is written in Rehat maryada which every sikh should try to follow.Also Sikhism is clear that Sikhs should not smoke or drink alchohol.
curiouscour ji I believe the saying is "let him throw the first stone".But it seems that not every Sikh follows that to the letter.This is where im having trouble understanding.Some people say aslong as you respect the religion.Others say it doesn't matter the colour, caste etc.Then theres the teachings that the gurdwaras are open to all.When it comes to marriage though they have to be sikh?
Good bye and good luck.This is a very confusing area & opinions differ everywhere.
So you say! In second breath below you admit knowing nothing while passing judgement in first sentence
I don't know much at all but at many times i see the Sri Guru Granth Sahib JiJ & the Rehat as conflicting in areas
Can you make better use of your keyboard to say something about an iota that you can contribute in this forum perhaps in interfaith sections where you may be able to add something about your fantasies of Shiv/Shiva, miracle makers, etc., as appropriate.
Your only noticeable quality in the absence of positive contributions is "agent provocateur" that I can ascertain or it could be baby talk rambling.
The characteristic features of a troll on an internet forum are as follows:Your only noticeable quality in the absence of positive contributions is "agent provocateur" that I can ascertain or it could be baby talk rambling.
I only came back to the forum cos I got curious after I got an e-mail about a friend request from a new member (probs one you're referring to).Ambarsaria ji
I think this was part of your response to Shanger
The characteristic features of a troll on an internet forum are as follows:
- mission is to create conflict
- method is to
- find threads that are somewhat older, or threads where opinions have settled and there is not much more to add
- create doubt about established beliefs and opinions by making controversial statements aimed at new members
- underlying strategy is to
- create doubt and uncertainty with newer members
- agitate veteran members
- a flame war.
I have been watching much of the evening.
Opinions do differ everywhere. That is a fact.Good bye and good luck.
A lot of arsonists and murderers live in the UK and claim to be British, does this make every Brit bad? In the same way not everyone who claims to be Sikh is perfect (including me). There are many other influences in life too. Maybe instead of criticising you should be trying to break stereotypes in your interactions with others. By being negative and therefore encouraging your partner to be negative towards the family, those stereotypes that 'outsiders' cause a family to split up will be propagated.But it seems that not every Sikh follows that to the letter.This is where im having trouble understanding.Some people say aslong as you respect the religion.Others say it doesn't matter the colour, caste etc.Then theres the teachings that the gurdwaras are open to all.When it comes to marriage though they have to be sikh?
I am not here as a Sikh, but working with what I understand to be general principles.
First on your own general remark, “All talk no action”.
Although each one of us must know for himself what the motives behind it all are, still it is true isn’t it, that we must start with reflective acceptance of what the rules and laws are? There is of course a difference, between stating something with an idealistic attitude and doing so with some level of understanding. But even when it is the latter, it can’t be expected that intellectual understanding must condition a practical application immediately, don’t you think? We are after all not like robots into which programs are fed in order that a change in outward behavior happens instantly.
Also although there are some rules which one applies with relative ease given a set of conditions, it should not be expected that other rules must then also be applied. We all need time to work our way into applying anything that we accept in principle. If we can follow some rules now and not others, this does not necessarily mean that we are being hypocritical or inconsistent. Besides the rules are different, some from social considerations and others pertaining to the individual. Marriage is an example of the former and smoking of the latter. Moreover the aspect about seeing everyone as equal (although I personally never work from this position), which is both social and individual, this does not even qualify as a rule, but an attitude of mind to be developed.
But most important of all is this.
Even though other people have trouble working with their fears and act in ways which appear unfair to us, it is imperative that we show kindness and feel compassion towards them for their failings.
On this particular matter of relationship that you brought up, Findingmyway ji has given what I consider to be a very nice explanation. But I’d like to add something.
All parents want for their children to be happy, always. And when it comes to one of certain age, all parents do not want to see their daughter taken advantage of by other boys and men. This includes even the most so-called open minded people. No matter even if the parents themselves went through the process of inter-marriage, even they think only for their daughter’s wellbeing. That they allow for the same to happen with their daughter, the key factor is that it is they who consent.
In your particular case, you’d therefore need the girl’s parents to be happy about it. If not, then both you and your girlfriend are blameworthy and surely you’d not like to see her do wrong, do you?
It is said that, even if we were to carry our parents on our shoulders, feeding, clothing and allowing them to do what they must in that same position till they die, we’d still not have repaid the debt we owe to them. This applies even to parents who are bad. Best way to repay the debt is to establish them in wisdom and morality. And so it follows that if we end up instead encouraging a lot of aversion, we are doing a very bad deed indeed.
When I look back at how I always tried to justify myself in order to get and do what I want, I know that I’ve been a really bad son throughout. When it came to marriage however, even though I do not believe in Sikhism and was inclined towards Buddhism, I married a Sikh woman because my parents are Sikhs and I wanted to make them happy. To marry a non-Sikh would have really hurt them. And there is no big deal about so called “love” between a man and a woman.
It is about “attachment” all the way through. Sex works to satisfy the individuals concerned, nothing more. If there is indeed any loving-kindness arising in between to act as motivator, this would be in spite of the relationship and not the result of it. The strong emotion that we feel towards the other and which can make us feel as though all the people out there are so nice and the whole world such a pleasant place to be in, is not love, but ‘illusion’ created by attachment.
This so called ‘love’ is in fact a very self-centered activity. We are always seeking to be made happy by other people and rarely do we really care about anyone. We seek to have friends, but it never occurs to us to be friendly towards all who we meet, which btw, is the real basis for ‘equality’. Kindness is the best of mental states to develop and we should all do so. Were your relationship with your girlfriend based on genuine kindness, this would possibly have had a positive influence on her parents. But then, you would also have felt kindness towards them, but clearly you do not, instead you are pointing a finger at them. And this is wrong.
No one is perfect and it is not our place to judge other people. I do not expect you or your girlfriend to be perfect, and I would not judge you as wrong if you fail to follow the principle I’ve outlined. I put them forward for your consideration and can only hope that it helps.
I had more to say, but must rush out for an appointment. I may have a small window later tonight to respond to your further comments, but I leave early next morning to a place where I won't have internet access for three days.