I have already read several threads on the topic that I would like some advice on. I would like to say first of all that I'm not looking for debate or criticism or judgements, thanks. This is difficult for me to talk about, even tho it is the internet! Basically, I have feelings towards other women. This is of great concern to me for obvious reasons. These feelings have been there since childhood... when I was younger I just thought that perhaps there was some mistake and I was supposed to be a boy but as I wasn't I didn't let it bother me. Obviously, puberty is a great hormonal period during which these feelings surfaced again, but I managed to stifle them through being busy and to be honest even if i was straight and had any sexual feelings, there was no way I would have done anything about them because you don't. But now it all seems to be of more significance. I am in my mid twenties and the conversations of marriage are becoming more frequent in my family. I find that I have no interest in men, being married to one or anything of that nature. I have mentioned to my father that I am not interested in men and therefore have no selection criteria to go with if he introduces me to anyone. I definately haven't told any family that I'm lesbian and never will. But I really don't know how to procede with my situation at all. Is it best to just go with it all and get married to a guy that I find least disagreeable? is that fair to him if he finds me attractive and I can't? This type of 'cultural duty' definately makes me feel that there is some joke being played on me, that I can't see any reason I would be given the sexual orientation that I have. Why would I find women attractive? How am I supposed to reconcile that with my religion and Sikh culture? What is more important, my sanity or familial duty? Never getting married, is a major DON'T but it would never be a true marriage, would it? I could never be all the things a guy would want in a wife. I really don't know what the best thing to do is. I am a sensitive person and am afraid that whatever path I choose, there will be sadness involved. If I choose a lifestyle based upon my sexual preference... that is cultivate a relationship with another woman, if the opportunity presents itself; but then I would be hurting my family and surely would be against many sikh principles not the least of which is disrespecting my parents. It would destry my parents and in turn I doubt I could live with myself havign done that damage. If however I followed the tradition and married, I would be living a form of lie and my mental health would inevitably deteriorate. How could I be happy whilst repressing myself.. the problem with repressing one part of you is that as tiem goes on , it gets difficult to keep it to just that part and I know that my personality and mental well being will suffer. I wouldn't be able to predict how much solace I could gain from knowing I was doing what is right and proper by Sikhism and my family. Does anyone have any good advice? Is there even an answer? Am I a joke? Perhaps I did something bad in a past incarnation, but how am I to solve my situation in this? Any advice would be much appreciated, Thank you.