A Confused Punjabi-Sikh Girl

[kds1980]

It is not about becoming STAR it is about how one feel about him/her self.
When we look in the mirror do we like what we see in mirror

This is theoritical majority of youths are interested in dance which people appreciate.Tell me why western Dance with vulgar moves is now so much famous while the classical dance which require immense talent is dieing.very few girls in India in India are now interested in Kathak,kuchipudi,bharat natyam etc 30-40 years back young women use to proudly learn these dances

 

[Pirthepal Singh]

Respected Questionare,

Any kind of proffession's is respectable, but if our thinking is not a respectable for others than they will blame to their respective profession/job.

Cast difference also made by ourselves (which is I believe. I am a Sikh and believing to our respective Sikhism). First of all we are all HUMAN BEINGS and we have to respect of GODS creations.

Regards,

 

[bliss]

@findingmyway - Thank you for the thoughtful comment. I meant going out as in going places with friends like movies, shopping, dances etc. I agree with you, I hate clubs as well. But even, young Sikh/Punjabi males go to clubs and parents don't care, but if a girl ever says she wants to go to a club, there is uproar. And I wasn't talking about dating, I have bigger things to worry about and bigger goals than finding a partner. Personally, I see dating is a distraction from the ultimate goal.

@Harman Singh - Also thank you for your comment, I completely agree with everything you raised... especially in regards to the Punjabi music industry sending a negative message. I have been to a lot of Punjabi weddings (no surprise lol) and they play the same songs over and over, about a drunk male trying to dance with/get the attention of a 'white' looking girl. Even the music highlights the male dominance, you very rarely hear a song about a Punjabi woman attracting the attention of a male. And a lot of people tell me to dance at weddings, but I'd rather not rotate in a boring circle, clapping my hands and celebrating an alcoholic male trying to get together with a 'white' female, while the men jump around like monkeys with alcohol bottles.

@Kanwaljit.Singh - I am not inspired by the Bollywood brigade at all, I have never watched a single movie without absolute disgust, I recognise that women in bollywood are simply passive objects of male attraction. I personally hate the Bollywood industry because they treat women as objects for the male eye to feast on, and the idealistic nature of the films which can only be harmful for the working class audience (e.g. women are all white when the audience is obviously darker - it's disgusting that 'white' is beauty), and I hate the classic male dominant storyline of a 'hero' who saves his damsel in distress, and I can go on forever listing why I hate the Bollywood industry but that is a completely different topic.

 

[bliss]

Also, thank you everyone so much for all the comments! I had no idea I would get such a warm response, and I am very grateful SikhPhilosophy has such a compassionate and intelligent community. I have read every comment, and I feel a lot better.

And for those who were a bit confused about the type of dancing I do, here is a link:
YouTube - Dj got us falling in love - Usher ( Choreography) (Skip to 0:30 to see the foot work)
And here is a video of a class:
YouTube - Kyle Hanagami & Miki Emura - Somebody To Love
This is the type of dancing I do, it is nothing vulgar.

You may think I dream too big, but ultimately, I want to use my talents for the greater good. I love to sing and dance but my goal isn't to just entertain, I want to make an impact, I want to inspire people. I want to put profits back into the world, I want to make schools, temples, homes etc. Ever since I can remember all I've wanted to do is help every single person who is struggling. I want to inspire young women to aspire to be their best, despite any adversity they may face. I have made it my life's goal to aspire to these goals and hopefully in the light of Gurus teachings I will find my way there, for me, a conventional Punjabi lifestyle isn't heaven on earth, performing and helping people achieve the best of their abilities is my heaven on earth. And I will not let the outdated Punjabi cultural norms bring me down, because only God can judge me.

Thank you everyone.

 

[Damandeep]

Hey. Hope you are doing well. You know we human beings are responsible for making this cast and creed. Its all our fault as we call these are Pishori's or Kabuli's and so on. This is not taught in sikhism. our Guru's taught us every sikh is a sikh no so matter whatever caste he belongs to. So there is no caste system in Sikhism but we people differentiate on that basis and its wrong. So dont believe in caste system and just write your name wherever you want to write should end with Kaur or Singh so that nobody will be able to get to know what caste you have and this will create Equality.
As fas as other things about Sikh and Punjabi. Every Sikh is a Punjabi but every Punjabi cannot be a sikh. Every Sikh follow what is Written in Shri Guru Grant Sahib Ji. Thats why even our guru'ssaid Guru manyo Grath. Whenever you face any problem you will find each and every question answer in Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
As far is the difference between girl and boy child is made is wrong. Both are equal no so matter. But youwhy our parents make us not go outside at night specially girls as the world in not safe and you will find most of the people who do wrong things come out at night and make a hell of fun for themselves and they dont care about anyone's image. So they just want us to be safe and specially for girls as people tend to take extra advantage of Girls when they out at bight as the safety for them is less at that time whereas when Girls go out with there Brothers or relatives at night then thet dont have any problem as they know you have the right people to your care and keep you safe and sound. This is what the difference is rest Girl child and Boy Child are the same.
As fas as drinking is concerned it is wrong as per Sikhism and any kind of Alcohol or tobacco is restricted and is a pure no for Sikhs. But people think drinking will make them show as they are more advance and they can do anything what they wana do and they dont respect Sikhism. So just dont care about those people just be what you are and follow sikhism and you will find the right way.
You know in life everyone has 2 ways. One is an easy way that will let you get all the things what you want but for a specific period of time or for a temporary time and that is the Wrong way. And the other way is full of problems and obstacles but if you move from this way and go through then you will get all thing you want in you life and they will not temporary. Tey will be permanent and for lifetime and thi way is te Right way.Its then we have to decide that we need to go through easy way or difficult way.
Rest if you have talents of dancing and singng then go for it but just follow the right way and do not compromise on anything. Rest people will many things but you should know you have done things in a right way and rest leave it upto Babaji as he will take care of everything. When you trust him and walk then he takes you care and then you dont have to worry about anything.
Leas but the Least as it is said in Gubani
Lal rang jisko laga,
Tiske wadh Bhaga,
Maila kade no howai,
Na laage daaga
It means the who so ever gets into the color Gurbani he gets everything and he is very lucky as color of Gurbani is always pure and nothing can hamper it.
So just follow the path of Shri Guru Grath Sahib Ji rest you have te hand of Babaji taking your care.
Hope thi will take away all of your confusion.
Take care.
Gurfateh!!!

 

[asking]

There are lot of reasons behind
1 Security of Girl . Not because of inferiarity but because of social problems girls are not allowed . It is only for sake of security .
2 One should always take company of good persons irrespective of colour .Neither bad person in sikh dress should be companied and liked . Nor White /black person /different country /religion person should be hated .
3 cast System really bad . It should not happen . Ek Noor te sab ...
4 Good familiy should mean good habits ,good character people .Lords Disciple .Truthful lifestyled people .

Definatly culture should not be place higher .

Ideally a person should not sing or dance which deviates his mind to worldly sexual/sensual pleasures . Dance/Songs should be for the Almighty and his praise .

I am not saying whether you are departing from punjabi belief or not .It has no meaning . (Pujabis belief system has good and bad things both ).But from Sikhism point of you (Real Sikh )or any religion (true religion ). All the things which deviates your mind towards worlds sensual pleasures retards spiritual growth so should be avoided . If your dance /songs are making your mind pure . Continue else I suggest think again . Waheguru Ji ...

 

[ekam3]

I am not punjabi or follow sikhism. I am married to a punjabi and find this topic very interesting because i have talked with him about 'double standards' between girls and boys. And he has said girls shouldnt drink and go out but its ok for boys because they are boys, and he really didnt have a reason why? I just want to get more insight in how this came about. It is also in every culture but for me i see it predominantly with most punjabis.

 

[Navdeep88]

Bliss Ji,

While I understand your frustrations with Punjabi Culture and agree with much of what you say, I also think there is much to cherish about Punjabi Culture as well. Things that are worth holding onto and appreciating. Please dont overlook the following...the other side of the coin...

-How hardworking and earnest our community is. Our ancestors worked by the sweat of their brows on the land and I still see that work ethic in the Indo-Canadian community today. (Kirat Kamuni)

-How we give back. The South Asian community has contributed a lot to local projects like Hospitals. There are wards named after Guru Nanak Dev Ji at our local Surrey Memorial Hospital (BC, Canada). Go anywhere in the world where Sikhs have settled and you will find that they are always more than happy to contribute to charities. (wand shakna)

-How deeply our parents care. They will literally do anything for us, our success and happiness.

-How deeply mamas love:
YouTube - ‪Kuldip Manak- Maa hundi Eh Maa‬‏

-How father's guide and defend (sometimes too sternly)

-How families stick together... we dont have a very high divorce rate, most kids grow up with both parents. AND the love of grandparents in the same household!

-Reverence for elders.

-Cherishing the brother-sister bond: Rakhri. Parents try to instill the love between brother and sister so they will look out for one another. My brother is a year older than me and when I was in kindergarten, he used to come check on me every day at lunch (at my moms instruction).

Bliss Ji,
while I understand your perspective, I've been there. But imagine if no one ever asked you where you were going and why? If no one cared to ask? The boundaries may be a little too tight but Im thankful that I had them, there is more good in them than bad. We need them growing up.

 

[davinderdhanjal]

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--> Ekam3 Ji,
The notion of ‘double standards’ is a western term where a woman wants to be equal of man. That is literally impossible – thank the Lord. A male and female are not equal – I think our Gurus mean the ‘value of each’ is the same. The values in most cases are complimentary for a successful union.
If you can imagine two lines in geometry vertical line being say male and another line at an angle to it being the female – if the length represents the value the best union will be when they are unison i.e. 0 deg angle between them and if they happen to be at 180 deg to each other they will pull each other apart.
If women under the impression that men control the world economy for instance – about 70% of the businesses are around because of women – they need something and man runs round to make it possible. Any moderation in a family life is brought about by the ‘second opinion’.
Males can not produce children females do not grow facial hair – for some good reason. I do not see the need to elaborate but listen the shirey in the video and imagine if the son had hit his father what would have ensued. YouTube - ‪Ambri (Mother) by Anwar Masood‬&rlm;

 

[charanjit7815]

Sat shri akal,

You want to make singing and dancing your profession. there in nothing wrong in it with respect for sikhi or sikhism. But i am afraid you can't be able to follow the sikhi attire whike dancing and singing like keeping your hair tied and keep your head covered all the time. if you can follow the rules of sikhism in this profession, you can continue.

you are absolutely right, some (mostly) people live double standard life. when they out to search a match for their children, first question they ask from the other party "what's your caste". Jatt sikhs marry among jatt sikhs only, and Ramgarhia sikhs marry within ramgarhia families only. while they should see only that the other party is sikh or not. no one is able is break this mentality till date.

 

[Rajbinder35]

Sat sri akhal

My opinion is that everyone has one life and it is our own responsibility to live it for ourselves. Our parents have had their own lives and they have lived them their way. We all know deep down what it entails to be a good sikh with a good heart, not just for display purposes only.

I am 38 years old and I have come to the conclusion that we all have ONE LIFE and must LIVE IT. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own actions and have to take responsibility for what you do and deal with the consequences.

I think the young Australian girl should grab the opportunity with both hands and see where it leads, it may not be what it initially appears to be but at least she tried. I think that would be better than to live her life always thinking I wonder what could have happened.

Good luck

 

[spnadmin]

Seekr3k ji

This is wrong

As Far as the history goes there no one aposed that. Guru Hargobind,Harrai,Gobing Sing had more then one wife.

This argument comes up every few months and we have threads on this subject. There is no historical evidence for what you are saying and history points against it. Indeed this is a statement typically made by Muslims who are getting ready to promote a daw'ah here at SPN and say this on purpose in order to get the membership riled up and on the defensive.

Be warned. Do not bring this up again. Thank you.

 

[spnadmin]

admin note:

Going off in the direction of polygamy, sati, sex-ratio imbalances is going off topic. Let's come back to the topic. Thank you Rajbinder ji for returning to the topic. Let's pick it up from there.

 

[Mai Harinder Kaur]

The notion of ‘double standards’ is a western term where a woman wants to be equal of man. That is literally impossible – thank the Lord. A male and female are not equal – I think our Gurus mean the ‘value of each’ is the same. The values in most cases are complimentary for a successful union.
If you can imagine two lines in geometry vertical line being say male and another line at an angle to it being the female – if the length represents the value the best union will be when they are unison i.e. 0 deg angle between them and if they happen to be at 180 deg to each other they will pull each other apart.
If women under the impression that men control the world economy for instance – about 70% of the businesses are around because of women – they need something and man runs round to make it possible. Any moderation in a family life is brought about by the ‘second opinion’.
Males can not produce children females do not grow facial hair – for some good reason. I do not see the need to elaborate but listen the shirey in the video and imagine if the son had hit his father what would have ensued.

The Double Standard says that there are things that I am capable of doing that I am not allowed because of my gender. What these are vary from culture to culture. In Saudi Arabia, a woman is not allowed to drive a car.

In Punjab, it says that the female carries the family izzat. She must jealously guard her reputation and, of course, her virginity. Even the perception of impropriety by some enemy is dangerous to her, although she may be completely innocent of any wrongdoing; if even accused, she's likely to be killed by her own family. The male, however, is free to sow his wild oats - and destroy some other family's izzat in the process, should the female become pregnant. He might then - and only then - be in real trouble. Of course, if the other family is of a low caste, her izzat is unimportant and he's home free. She might still be killed though.

For me, in the West, it meant that before my marriage, my 7 brothers used to follow me around to be sure I wasn't attacked or something, LOL. It also meant that I was not allowed to pursue my dream of being am astronaut.

Clearly, there are differences between males and females beyond size and reproductive organs. The brains function very differently, we now know. I do not see how that can morally be used to not allow half the population to follow their dreams and reach their potential as human beings.

Oops, my bad! In Punjab, females number considerably less than half the population because of a genocidal programme of both prenatal and postnatal murder of the girl-child. Might this maybe be an indication that there is some flaw in the present system?

Actually, I was personally very happy being a wife and mother (and running our farm) when I was young. Had not tragedy intervened, I might have been happy doing that even today. I, however, am not all women.

I have never understood this male reluctance to let fulfill our potential. I have repeatedly observed that many men get really threatened by this.

What are you men afraid of, anyway? Is it a power thing? Is your self-esteem (ego) so tied up in controlling women that you would rather she be half a person than the person she was created to be? Surely her Creator wouldn't give her all these talents if she wasn't meant to use them. Or is it that you don't want to give up having a cook, maid, governess, housekeeper, chauffeur, sex partner and, nowadays, wage earner at your beck and call?

Has it ever occurred to you that what you will get in return, is a happy, confident, interesting life partner? I'd think that might be a worthwhile trade off.

My Dad - a very progressive, intelligent gentleman, a grand old Khalsa, now dead - used to tell me, "There are all sorts of things society won't let you do because you're a woman. There are many things you cannot do because you lack the ability. But there is only one thing you really cannot do because you're a woman. You cannot father a child!" The last always with a huge laugh.

Perhaps he should have added "grow facial hair!" Come to think of it though, I do have a small moustache and a few stray chin hairs.

"And ain't I a woman?"

 

[Kanwaljit.Singh]

I do not see how that can morally be used to not allow half the population to follow their dreams and reach their potential as human beings.

I think it is not just fathers and brothers, but sisters and mothers also against the girl child at times. And some times parents want their daughter to take up ABC profession only. It is weird that a few years younger brother is getting to choose and do what he wants. But the girl child has to convince her parents that her choice of profession is best for her.

Oops, my bad! In Punjab, females number considerably less than half the population because of a genocidal programme of both prenatal and postnatal murder of the girl-child. Might this maybe be an indication that there is some flaw in the present system?

At some places it is really weird (and funny and in a twisted way, positive) that family has 4-5 daughters and one son who is the youngest. Now we all know why further siblings didn't come after the son. Though I have seen many couples who are really happy with their 1-2 daughters.

Had not tragedy intervened, I might have been happy doing that even today. I, however, am not all women.

Yes until and unless the girls are made to see the opportunities and freedom outside their circle, they wouldn't want it.

I have never understood this male reluctance to let fulfill our potential. I have repeatedly observed that many men get really threatened by this.

Male ego when acting against women is big wild beast. There are many things which run in our system. Like most men would go for women who are shorter than them. Why? No one knows the answer. Men cannot live with women who earn more. Why? Men make fun of women in sports and objectify them. In many professions, men say women got in due to contacts or easy interviews, and they are less competent. They apply less brain at work. The Wives are expected to do cleaning, cooking, taking care of children, washing while men just pay bills and pick their plates after meals. Men don't like to commit and now when girls don't commit easily, they hate it. Men don't like girls who have a lot of expectations before an arranged marriage. The list goes on and on.

Is your self-esteem (ego) so tied up in controlling women that you would rather she be half a person than the person she was created to be?

Yes there is some sort of power thing. Maybe when a man and a woman are together (they even call them man and wife, Singh and Singhnee (not Kaur) hehe!), man thinks that his woman will strive and survive because of him. Sustain because of him. He has no clue that women have been given equal power from the Creator.

Or is it that you don't want to give up having a cook, maid, governess, housekeeper, chauffeur, sex partner and, nowadays, wage earner at your beck and call?

Men never appreciate all such things women do for them. It is like part of job requirement/description. If a woman has to spend extra 15 mins to put your stuff too in order, it will never be appreciated. It is something that was done with the flow. Small things and help like these are often ignored.

Has it ever occurred to you that what you will get in return, is a happy, confident, interesting life partner?

I had probably like an independent and confident woman. But she has to give equal importance to religion the way I try to give. That is the only thing I will be looking at. Rest all, she is free spirit. PS: I have learnt this by hurting someone.

"There are all sorts of things society won't let you do because you're a woman. There are many things you cannot do because you lack the ability. But there is only one thing you really cannot do because you're a woman. You cannot father a child!"

Now any lady can father a child with help of sperm donor centers. And there are so many happy single moms. Things have changed. I know women prefer to be within the acceptable norms of society and family, but if things don't work any way, they are happy to be on their own.

If Mai Bhago can lead a Sikh army, women can lead the world of today.. and tomorrow too. I was wondering that a young Sikh boy gets special Kara from family. His hair is well taken care of and tied in neat Patka/Turban. They even get a special turban ceremony (which is one big imp ceremony before Anand Karaj as for most parents giving them Amrit ceremony is out of consideration). How does a young Sikh girl grow up in household? Does she know about Mai Bhaago, Mata Sundri and Mata Gujri? What are her ideals and expectations?

 

[davinderdhanjal]

Mai Ji,
We are here to do our best and with the help of our Gurus and Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji we can.
We all have been given all we need by the Lord – it is up to us to find out what it is and how best to use it.
Women have the ability to do more than one thing at a time that men do not (I try but still cannot!) – may be this is the ability given to her to raise Generations.
A person who has sussed what he/she has been Given may appreciate it and would build on it (this I believe is built on levels i.e. a wise person will understand your intent within a very few words uttered, lesser one will need few paragraphs of explanation).
The society is the lowest common denominator it has to cater for all – knowing potential of the woman she should be the leader however she (in my opinion and experience) chooses to moderate and direct from a higher level.
Knowing this potential of a woman in a marriage and pressure of the society are you surprised that ordinary mortal (male) does not feel inferior? The society will create rules, religions etc. to get protection! By doing our best (men – we need to our Best) we try to get in the good books of the women but it is not easy!!
Our Gurus took Guidance passed this to us (Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji) but the society has taken liberties that create what women call injustice. In Successful families both men and women Make it.

 

[kds1980]

The Double Standard says that there are things that I am capable of doing that I am not allowed because of my gender. What these are vary from culture to culture. In Saudi Arabia, a woman is not allowed to drive a car.

Whenever in any work Physical standards are going to be parameters to decide which person to select then men have advantage over women.So it is obvious that men are going to be selected in that field over women.We don't have unisex sports in world because women cannot compete with men

Clearly, there are differences between males and females beyond size and reproductive organs. The brains function very differently, we now know. I do not see how that can morally be used to not allow half the population to follow their dreams and reach their potential as human beings.

Chasing dreams ,passion is western concept.In India people do work for living.By saying that women are denied to chase their dreams means that men are allowed which is not true.Men just work so their wives and families can have decent life.It is not dream of many men to plough field,to drive truck or to work in an alien land for 14 hours so your family can have decent life.99% of youths in India can't chase their dreams of course if you are born in family where your father have truck load of money then do whatever you want.

What are you men afraid of, anyway? Is it a power thing? Is your self-esteem (ego) so tied up in controlling women that you would rather she be half a person than the person she was created to be? Surely her Creator wouldn't give her all these talents if she wasn't meant to use them. Or is it that you don't want to give up having a cook, maid, governess, housekeeper, chauffeur, sex partner and, nowadays, wage earner at your beck and call?

LOL all these services are very cheaply available in India if men just want these things they why they need to marry? Smriti irani one of the most popular tv star of INdia once said that it is a myth that this is a man's world ,men are always under the control of either their wives or mothers.Some men control women but there are many cases where wives control husbands but unfortunately feminists always see one side of story

 

[kds1980]

I think it is not just fathers and brothers, but sisters and mothers also against the girl child at times. And some times parents want their daughter to take up ABC profession only. It is weird that a few years younger brother is getting to choose and do what he wants. But the girl child has to convince her parents that her choice of profession is best for her.

Do you really think boys are free to choose career in Indian culture.Most parents just force their sons to either join their father in work or choose safe career like software doctor etc
Tell me how many great sportsmen India have produced that include Indians living outside India.Most of the time reason given is that Indian parents don't allow their sons to become sportsman as they prefer safe career for them.

Like most men would go for women who are shorter than them. Why? No one knows the answer.

LOL do you watch bollywood films .these days many heroines are taller than heroes.It is women that are always obsessed with height of men.The boys that are not blessed with good height become class clowns and not only boys but also girls make fun of them.My cousin sister who herself is 5-4" says she don't like any boy less than six feet.It is a well known fact that tall men are always the first choice of any woman as partner

Men cannot live with women who earn more

Why don't you search a matrimonial site and check profiles of women.If a woman is earning 5 lakh per annum her preference start for boy who is earning 7 lakh if she is earning 10 lakhs then she wants higher earning partner than her.So women too prefer men which are earning higher than them

Men never appreciate all such things women do for them. It is like part of job requirement/description. If a woman has to spend extra 15 mins to put your stuff too in order, it will never be appreciated. It is something that was done with the flow. Small things and help like these are often ignored.

What a sweeping statement ,there are men who don't appreciate but there are men who appreciate and give full respect to their wives

 

[Kanwaljit.Singh]

Do you really think boys are free to choose career in Indian culture

Hmm what I observed was from a real example so I put it here. What you said can be true, specially if you are the only son. But when there is a brother sister thing, girls are more tied to parents' wishes and boys are given a bit of free pass.

It is a well known fact that tall men are always the first choice of any woman as partner

Conversely shorter woman is always the choice of men too. If a boy and girl are of almost same height, girl wouldn't want to wear heel so that the guy doesn't feel bad. Why is this thing brainwashed into women that men have to be taller.

So women too prefer men which are earning higher than them

What if after marriage, woman starts earning more :GRIN:

but there are men who appreciate and give full respect to their wives<!-- google_ad_section_end -->

I think they are not the norm, but exception to the rule. It is important to look how things are beyond our apartment building or colony.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh

 

[kds1980]

Hmm what I observed was from a real example so I put it here. What you said can be true, specially if you are the only son. But when there is a brother sister thing, girls are more tied to parents' wishes and boys are given a bit of free pass.

Majority of time parents 'elder siblings have more knowledge of world.We have arrange marriage base society so Parents obviously want their daughters to pursue career Which they can manage after marriage tobviously in some careers there are extremely long working hours ,transfers to other cities,tours etc Many times husband or in laws don't agree with it so some careers could become difficult to pursue after marriage.

Conversely shorter woman is always the choice of men too. If a boy and girl are of almost same height, girl wouldn't want to wear heel so that the guy doesn't feel bad. Why is this thing brainwashed into women that men have to be taller.

Indian men are more crazy about fair skin than height of girl.as far height is concerned it is well known fact that an average man is 5-6 inches taller than woman so barring few tall women most women see men as taller than them.It is natural for them to think about their partners taller than them

What if after marriage, woman starts earning more :GRIN:

It depends on different situations.sometimes men don't like it sometime women develop ego that their husbands are losers.In My joint family case my aunt developed big ego and their 18 year old love marriage started turning into disaster.no amount of helping in household chores was helpful
.In the eyes of society ,parents ,wife 'man only gets respect if he brings money O/W he is just like a dog to whom you can kick insult whenever you want