21 relatives killed in 1984, that's her life MY WHOLE life is like this -- there is no single moment when the thought of my husband goes away, says Manjeet Kaur, now 45. She speaks about the massacre after a lot of persuasion. "But no pictures." Then 20, she chose not to remarry. She didn't have kids from the marriage. ( ( That one day changed my life forever. It's just me and my mother now. Since then, I have never gone to Sagarpur, not even close to that place. I am living with the memories of my husband. MANJEET KAUR She was 20 then, happily married for two years. But Manjeet Kaur's world came to be covered in blood on the night of November 1, 1984 when her husband along with 20 other men in the family were killed right outside their homes in the mindless anti-Sikh violence. "It was the morning of November 1. Indira Gandhi had been killed a day earlier. News of the riots had spread. All the women and children were hiding in our house, the men in other places." She used to live with her husband and others -- fatherin-law, mother-in-law, three brothers-in- law and sister-inlaw -- in Sagarpur area of west Delhi. Members of the extended family lived next door. "Our houses were in a row. When we were hiding, we could hear people raising slogans against Sikhs and talking about killing us," she says. Her eyes well up from time to time, she finds it difficult to summon the words. "There was a tubewell near our house and adjoining it was a small room. In it, 13 men were hiding. The rioters somehow got information about them and they burnt the room. As the men came out because of the fire, they killed them mercilessly." The mob put burning tyres around the necks "of our men and thrashed them with rods. Among the 13 were two of my brothers-in- law, my father-inlaw Gurnam Singh, his four brothers and their sons", Manjeet recalls, her hands trembling. She had been married to Narendra Singh for two years. "From the roof, I saw my husband's body lying on the road in front of our house. He was killed by rods and was lying in a pool of blood. We shouted for help, but there was no one to listen to us. "His death was the end of my world. He was everything for me and he was gone. The women took me inside fearing I could attract the attention of rioters," she says. "One of my brothers-in- law had cut his hair and was with the mob so that no one could identify him," she says. The women then took shelter in an empty house built were sure that very soon they would come inside our house. So we shifted to an empty house -- just behind ours. No one was living there. All the women and children went there as we felt no one would suspect there were people inside," Kaur says. "The rioters tried to draw us out by shouting that the mob would have to run as the `sardars had come to kill' them. But we knew that wasn't the case, so we kept hiding quietly. "They had some chemical which they used to throw on people," she says. At night, these 30 women and children somehow gathered courage and went out. "We decided that sitting in the house wouldn't help us. During the night, we slipped out and went to our relative's house in Hari Nagar. I will never forget the scenes I saw at that time," Manjeet says. Later she got monetary compensation and a house in Tilak Vihar area where she now lives with her mother. Her only source of income is sewing clothes. Her father died a few years ago -- a bro ken man. "That one day changed my life forever. It's just me and my mother now. Since then, I have never gone to Sagarpur, not even close to that place. I am living with the memo ries of my husband," says Manjeet, who chose not to remarry. She didn't have any children from the marriage. "I was promised a job but never got one. I have again filled a form and hope to get a job." Asked if she expects justice, she says: "I don't have any faith that anyone will ever get punished. Twenty-five years have passed since the riots and nothing has happened." Forwarded by forum member Tejwant Singh ji Malik on behalf of Amandeep Singh ji.