☀️ JOIN SPN MOBILE
Forums
New posts
Guru Granth Sahib
Composition, Arrangement & Layout
ਜਪੁ | Jup
ਸੋ ਦਰੁ | So Dar
ਸੋਹਿਲਾ | Sohilaa
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ | Raag Siree-Raag
Gurbani (14-53)
Ashtpadiyan (53-71)
Gurbani (71-74)
Pahre (74-78)
Chhant (78-81)
Vanjara (81-82)
Vaar Siri Raag (83-91)
Bhagat Bani (91-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਝ | Raag Maajh
Gurbani (94-109)
Ashtpadi (109)
Ashtpadiyan (110-129)
Ashtpadi (129-130)
Ashtpadiyan (130-133)
Bara Maha (133-136)
Din Raen (136-137)
Vaar Maajh Ki (137-150)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗਉੜੀ | Raag Gauree
Gurbani (151-185)
Quartets/Couplets (185-220)
Ashtpadiyan (220-234)
Karhalei (234-235)
Ashtpadiyan (235-242)
Chhant (242-249)
Baavan Akhari (250-262)
Sukhmani (262-296)
Thittee (296-300)
Gauree kii Vaar (300-323)
Gurbani (323-330)
Ashtpadiyan (330-340)
Baavan Akhari (340-343)
Thintteen (343-344)
Vaar Kabir (344-345)
Bhagat Bani (345-346)
ਰਾਗੁ ਆਸਾ | Raag Aasaa
Gurbani (347-348)
Chaupaday (348-364)
Panchpadde (364-365)
Kaafee (365-409)
Aasaavaree (409-411)
Ashtpadiyan (411-432)
Patee (432-435)
Chhant (435-462)
Vaar Aasaa (462-475)
Bhagat Bani (475-488)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ | Raag Goojaree
Gurbani (489-503)
Ashtpadiyan (503-508)
Vaar Gujari (508-517)
Vaar Gujari (517-526)
ਰਾਗੁ ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ | Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree
Gurbani (527-536)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਹਾਗੜਾ | Raag Bihaagraa
Gurbani (537-556)
Chhant (538-548)
Vaar Bihaagraa (548-556)
ਰਾਗੁ ਵਡਹੰਸ | Raag Wadhans
Gurbani (557-564)
Ashtpadiyan (564-565)
Chhant (565-575)
Ghoriaan (575-578)
Alaahaniiaa (578-582)
Vaar Wadhans (582-594)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੋਰਠਿ | Raag Sorath
Gurbani (595-634)
Asatpadhiya (634-642)
Vaar Sorath (642-659)
ਰਾਗੁ ਧਨਾਸਰੀ | Raag Dhanasaree
Gurbani (660-685)
Astpadhiya (685-687)
Chhant (687-691)
Bhagat Bani (691-695)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਤਸਰੀ | Raag Jaitsree
Gurbani (696-703)
Chhant (703-705)
Vaar Jaitsaree (705-710)
Bhagat Bani (710)
ਰਾਗੁ ਟੋਡੀ | Raag Todee
ਰਾਗੁ ਬੈਰਾੜੀ | Raag Bairaaree
ਰਾਗੁ ਤਿਲੰਗ | Raag Tilang
Gurbani (721-727)
Bhagat Bani (727)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ | Raag Suhi
Gurbani (728-750)
Ashtpadiyan (750-761)
Kaafee (761-762)
Suchajee (762)
Gunvantee (763)
Chhant (763-785)
Vaar Soohee (785-792)
Bhagat Bani (792-794)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ | Raag Bilaaval
Gurbani (795-831)
Ashtpadiyan (831-838)
Thitteen (838-840)
Vaar Sat (841-843)
Chhant (843-848)
Vaar Bilaaval (849-855)
Bhagat Bani (855-858)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੋਂਡ | Raag Gond
Gurbani (859-869)
Ashtpadiyan (869)
Bhagat Bani (870-875)
ਰਾਗੁ ਰਾਮਕਲੀ | Raag Ramkalee
Ashtpadiyan (902-916)
Gurbani (876-902)
Anand (917-922)
Sadd (923-924)
Chhant (924-929)
Dakhnee (929-938)
Sidh Gosat (938-946)
Vaar Ramkalee (947-968)
ਰਾਗੁ ਨਟ ਨਾਰਾਇਨ | Raag Nat Narayan
Gurbani (975-980)
Ashtpadiyan (980-983)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਲੀ ਗਉੜਾ | Raag Maalee Gauraa
Gurbani (984-988)
Bhagat Bani (988)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਰੂ | Raag Maaroo
Gurbani (889-1008)
Ashtpadiyan (1008-1014)
Kaafee (1014-1016)
Ashtpadiyan (1016-1019)
Anjulian (1019-1020)
Solhe (1020-1033)
Dakhni (1033-1043)
ਰਾਗੁ ਤੁਖਾਰੀ | Raag Tukhaari
Bara Maha (1107-1110)
Chhant (1110-1117)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
Bhagat Bani (1123-1124)
ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
Partaal (1153)
Ashtpadiyan (1153-1167)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਸੰਤੁ | Raag Basant
Gurbani (1168-1187)
Ashtpadiyan (1187-1193)
Vaar Basant (1193-1196)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਾਰਗ | Raag Saarag
Gurbani (1197-1200)
Partaal (1200-1231)
Ashtpadiyan (1232-1236)
Chhant (1236-1237)
Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
Ashtpadiyan (1273-1278)
Chhant (1278)
Vaar Malaar (1278-91)
Bhagat Bani (1292-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
Partaal (1296-1318)
Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
Chhant (1312)
Vaar Kaanraa
Bhagat Bani (1318)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਲਿਆਨ | Raag Kalyaan
Gurbani (1319-23)
Ashtpadiyan (1323-26)
ਰਾਗੁ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ | Raag Prabhaatee
Gurbani (1327-1341)
Ashtpadiyan (1342-51)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਜਾਵੰਤੀ | Raag Jaijaiwanti
Gurbani (1352-53)
Salok | Gatha | Phunahe | Chaubole | Swayiye
Sehskritee Mahala 1
Sehskritee Mahala 5
Gaathaa Mahala 5
Phunhay Mahala 5
Chaubolae Mahala 5
Shaloks Bhagat Kabir
Shaloks Sheikh Farid
Swaiyyae Mahala 5
Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
Shaloks in Addition To Vaars
Shalok Ninth Mehl
Mundavanee Mehl 5
ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New resources
Latest activity
Videos
New media
New comments
Library
Latest reviews
Donate
Log in
Register
What's new
New posts
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
Sign up
Log in
Discussions
Sikh Sikhi Sikhism
Sikh Youth
Why Are There So Many Religions?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="vsgrewal48895" data-source="post: 107838" data-attributes="member: 8024"><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Satyaban ji says,</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">"This is very hard for me to say and I can't remember the last time I said it but you are not one of my favorite people to talk to and will talk to you no more."</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Peace</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Satyaban</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Dear Satyaban ji,</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">As stated by Teji Ji, the above statement shows resentment but towards who-I do not guess. Anger is a normal feeling which should be cooled down in a little bit but under its influence, individual cannot think straight as said by Guru Arjan and Guru Nanak;</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">ਹੇ ਕਲਿ ਮੂਲ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੰ ਕਦੰਚ ਕਰੁਣਾ ਨ ਉਪਰਜਤੇ॥ਬਿਖਯੰਤ ਜੀਵੰ ਵਸ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਕਰੋਤਿ ਨਿਰਤ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਕਰੋਤਿ ਜਥਾ ਮਰਕਟਹ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Hė kal mūl kroḏẖ¬aʼn kaḏancẖ karuṇā na uparjaṯė. Bikẖ¬yanṯ jīvaʼn vas¬yaʼn karoṯ nirṯ¬yaʼn karoṯ jathā marakteh.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">O, Anger, the source of strife, the person haunted by your presence within, never receives Akal Purkh’s Grace. As a matter of fact, whosoever comes under your control jumps and dances around like a monkey.-----Guru Arjan, Sloke Sahskriti, AGGS, Page, 1358-6</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">ਭੰਉਕੈ ਕੋਪੁ ਖੁਆਰੁ ਹੋਇ ਫਕੜੁ ਪਿਟੇ ਅੰਧੁ ॥ ਚੁਪੈ ਚੰਗਾ ਨਾਨਕਾ ਵਿਣੁ ਨਾਵੈ ਮੁਹਿ ਗੰਧੁ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><em>Bẖaʼnukai kop kẖu¬ār ho¬ė fakaṛ pitė anḏẖ. Cẖupai cẖanga nānkā viṇ nāvai muhi ganḏẖ.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Anger barks and brings ruin on itself, blindly pursuing useless conflicts. It is good to be silent, O, Nanak; without the Name, one's mouth spews forth only filth.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">-----Guru Nanak, Raag Malar, AGGS, Page, 1288-13</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">But resentment is a disease which is like smouldering fire and can ruin some one's personality and behavior and here are my two cents on the subject for your perusal;</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p></p><p style="text-align: center"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong>RESENTMENTS/ਕਰੋਧ</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="color: black"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong>ABSTRACT</strong></span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Resentment is a low grade persistent anger harbored for a long period of time. It can be caused by egotistical behavior guided by “who is right” rather than humbly by” What is right”? It is a smoldering fire, which can get ignited any time with even a mild provocation. Whereas anger is a short lived normal feeling and makes the individual irrational. It becomes an unresolved anger, which one has over a negative event which occurred in one’s past life. It can only be resolved with forgiveness. Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. Kabir says where there is forgiveness, there is God Itself.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਕਬੀਰਾ ਜਹਾ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਤਹ ਧਰਮੁ ਹੈ ਜਹਾ ਝੂਠੁ ਤਹ ਪਾਪੁ ॥ਜਹਾ ਲੋਭੁ ਤਹ ਕਾਲੁ ਹੈ ਜਹਾ ਖਿਮਾ ਤਹ ਆਪਿ ॥ </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Kabira Jahaa Gi-aan Tah Dharam Hai Jahaa Jhooth Tah Paap, Jaha Lobh Teh Kaal Hai Jaha Khima Teh Aap.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Kabir, where there is spiritual wisdom, there is righteousness. Where there is falsehood, there is sin. Where there is greed, there is death. Where there is forgiveness, there is God Itself. ------Sloke Bhagat Kabir # 155, AGGS, Page, 1372-15</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Resentment is a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will. Resentment is anger excited by a sense of personal injury. Guilt is anger directed at ourselves -- at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others -- at what they did or did not do. It is, etymologically, that reaction of the mind which we instinctively feel when we think ourselves wronged. Pride and selfishness are likely to aggravate this feeling. Guru Arjan advises in Rag Bilawal;</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਮਾਟੀ ਸਿਉ ਮਾਟੀ ਰਲੀ ਨਾਗਾ ਉਠਿ ਜਾਈ ॥ਜਾ ਕੈ ਕੀਐ ਸ੍ਰਮੁ ਕਰੈ ਤੇ ਬੈਰ ਬਿਰੋਧੀ ॥ਅੰਤ ਕਾਲਿ ਭਜਿ ਜਾਹਿਗੇ ਕਾਹੇ ਜਲਹੁ ਕਰੋਧੀ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Maatee Si-o Maatee Ralee Naagaa Outh Jaa-ee, Jaa Kai Kee-ai Saram Karai Tay Bair BiroDhee, Unt Kaal Bhaj Jaahigay Kaahay Jalahu KaroDhee.</em> </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Your dust shall mix with dust; you shall arise and depart naked. Those, for whom you work, will become your spiteful enemies. In the end, they will run away from you; why do you burn for them in anger? -----Guru Arjan, Raag Bilawal, AGGS. Page, 809-15</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Resentment is harboring animosity against a person or group of people who, one believes, may have mistreated him. It is a seething, aching emotional turmoil felt whenever a certain person or event is discussed. Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment. Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">It occurs if forgiveness has not fully occurred due to an inability to let go and forget. It is the root of distrust and suspicion one has when dealing with people or events that brought him pain in the past. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">It ends up in an unresolved grief, which one experiences and finds difficult to accept a loss. This may result in being heart broken because a great effort and much energy was spent to achieve something that was eventually lost. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">It is the result of a feeling that one was unjustly victimized in a way with no resolution to the problem leading to a long-term suffering in silence when an open expression of hurt is unwanted and uninvited. Kabir ponder on the subject in Raag Bhairo;</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਕਾਮੁ ਕਿਵਾਰੀ ਦੁਖੁ ਸੁਖੁ ਦਰਵਾਨੀ ਪਾਪੁ ਪੁੰਨੁ ਦਰਵਾਜਾ ॥ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਪ੍ਰਧਾਨੁ ਮਹਾ ਬਡ ਦੁੰਦਰ ਤਹ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਵਾਸੀ ਰਾਜਾ ॥ </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Kaam Kivaaree Dukh Sukh Darvaanee Paap Punn Darvaajaa, KroDh ParDhaan Mahaa Bad Dundar Tah Man Maavaasee Raajaa.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Lust is the window, pain and pleasure are the gate-keepers; virtue and sin are the gates. Clamorous wrath is the commander and the mind intractable king.-----Kabir, Raag Bhario, AGGS, Page, 1161-15 & 16</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><strong>Etiology of resentments:</strong></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">1. It could be due to passively acceptance of a negative treatment from the others, without ever expressing negative feelings about it and agreeing to do something for the others yet feeling that one is being taken advantage and taken for granted. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">2. It could be due to trying to get others to see the point of view while they ignore or deny the truth or wisdom in what one has to say. It may come from seeing others succeed when they have not worked as hard as one has. One feels they don't deserve this measure of success. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">3. It could also be due to going unrecognized for one’s good work or competence while others are recognized due to favoritism. One may have worked hard and yet may have been thwarted from enjoying the bounty of his success by the others due to discrimination or prejudice against him. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">4. It can be caused by an impossible position in a relationship with someone where one is damned if he does and also damned if he doesn't do what the other person wants from him. One may be embarrassed by a person whose goal was to belittle him by constant rejection, disapproval, and abandonment.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><strong>HARBORING OF RESENTMENTS IS DETREMENTAL TO THE INDIVIDUAL</strong></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The power of resentment may far exceed any potency we may attribute to negative thinking. We may not be aware that:</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">1. A life, which includes deep resentment, leads only to futility and unhappiness.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">2. The hours in which we allow futility and unhappiness in our lives are not worthwhile. Resentments waste our lives.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">3. Resentments shut us off from the sunlight of the Spirit, thereby preventing the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">4. When shadowed from the sunlight of the Spirit, resentment creates a physical poison in our bodies, in addition to the mental and spiritual maladies it feeds.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਨਿਰਵੈਰੈ ਨਾਲਿ ਵੈਰੁ ਰਚਾਇਦਾ ਅਪਣੈ ਘਰਿ ਲੂਕੀ ਲਾਇ ॥ਅੰਤਰਿ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਹੈ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਜਲੈ ਸਦਾ ਦੁਖੁ ਪਾਇ ॥ </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Nirvairai Naal Vair Rachaa-idaa Apnai Ghar Lookee Laa-ay, Antar Krodh Ahankaar Hai Undin Jalai Sadaa Dukh Paaey.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Whoever directs hatred against the Guru, who has no hatred at all, only sets his own home on fire. Anger and egotism are within him night and day; he burns, and suffers constant pain. -----Guru Amardas, Sloke Vaaran To Vadheek, AGGS, Page, 1415-9 & 10</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><strong>ERADICATING RESENTMENTS</strong></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">In trying to rid ourselves of resentments, we have to ask ourselves:</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">1. Who do you hold a grudge against?</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">2. What did they do that you found offensive?</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">3. How did you contribute to their action? </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">4. Why did you react with resentment?</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The first lesson is that resentments cannot be cleared up until one knows that one have them and why. The second lesson is that one makes him/her self vulnerable to the outside world to an extraordinary extent. The entire self-concept has been molded by the opinions and actions of the others and one’s old thinking as to what he/she ought to be and were.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Next, it is necessary to be willing to let go of the resentment. Moreover, we must forgive the person we resent. Just accept right now that one is going to have to do it! There is no other course, because his/her life is now going to be on a different path -- of trusting and relying upon God.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, one must resolutely look for his/her own mistakes and fears.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਡਰਿ ਘਰੁ ਘਰਿ ਡਰੁ ਡਰਿ ਡਰੁ ਜਾਇ ॥ ਸੋ ਡਰੁ ਕੇਹਾ ਜਿਤੁ ਡਰਿ ਡਰੁ ਪਾਇ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Dar Ghar Ghar Dar Dar Dar Jaaey, So Dar Kayhaa Jit Dar Dar Paa-ay.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Place the Fear of God within the home of your heart; with this Fear of God in your heart, all the other fears shall be frightened away. What sort of fear is that, which frightens other fears? </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਡਰੀਐ ਜੇ ਡਰੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਹੋਰੁ ॥ ਡਰਿ ਡਰਿ ਡਰਣਾ ਮਨ ਕਾ ਸੋਰੁ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Darī▫ai je dar hovai hor. Dar dar darṇā man kā sor.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Be afraid, if you have any fear, other than the Fear of God. Afraid of fear, and living in fear, the mind is held in tumult.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 151-7 & 9</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we should have faith that we will be forgiven. We should be grateful that we would have learned some lessons. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm the others, we are dwelling upon spiritual ignorance.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be he had done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we may find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret. Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">When we retire at night, we should constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves, which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflections, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken? “God save me from being angry and resentful. Thy will be done.” We should avoid retaliation or argument.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਹਰਿ ਕੇ ਚਰਨ ਕਮਲ ਮਨਿ ਧਿਆਉ ॥ਕਾਢਿ ਕੁਠਾਰੁ ਪਿਤ ਬਾਤ ਹੰਤਾ ਅਉਖਧੁ ਹਰਿ ਕੋ ਨਾਉ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Har Kay Charan Kamal Man Dhi-aa-o, Kaadh Kuthaar Pit Baat Hantaa Aoukhadh Har Ko Naaou.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Meditate on the lotus feet of the God within your mind. The Name of the Akal Purkh is the medicine; it is like an axe, which destroys the diseases caused by resentment and egotism.-----Guru Arjan Raag Todi, AGGS, Page, 714-11</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><strong>Overcoming resentments:</strong></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">1. By admitting to self that there is unresolved resentment behind my hostile, </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">cynical and sarcastic attitude; I should decide to rid myself of it. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">2. By doing private anger work-out toward the people I resent. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">3. By writing a letter in which I detail all of the reasons for my resentment but NOT mailing it. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">4. By identifying the ``hot buttons'' that indicate the presence of resentment in me and working at defusing their impact. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">5. By working at a rational outlook on my past life so that it isn't a chain around my neck in the future.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਨਾਨਕ ਅਉਗੁਣ ਜੇਤੜੇ ਤੇਤੇ ਗਲੀ ਜੰਜੀਰ ॥ ਜੇ ਗੁਣ ਹੋਨਿ ਤ ਕਟੀਅਨਿ ਸੇ ਭਾਈ ਸੇ ਵੀਰ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Nanak Aougun Jetrrhay Tetay Galee Janjeer, Jay Gun Hoan Ta Katian Say Bhai Say Veer.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">O Nanak, All evils are like chains thrown round the neck These are snapped by good Qualities, being our brothers and helpers.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Sorath, AGGS, Page, 595</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">6. By listing those for whom I had resentment and systematically working at </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">forgiving and forgetting their past offenses.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">7. By improving my self-esteem and self-worth; looking only to myself for approval </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">and recognition.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">8. By working with my support network to identify when I slip back into resentment over my past. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">9. By developing self-affirmations and positive self-visualizations to overcome my negative outlook on life. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">10. By re-establishing myself in pursuits in which I excelled, but dropped due to lack of perceived success and truth.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਸੋ ਸੂਚਾ ਜਿ ਕਰੋਧੁ ਨਿਵਾਰੇ ॥ ਸਬਦੇ ਬੂਝੈ ਆਪੁ ਸਵਾਰੇ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>So Soochaa Jay Karodh Nivaaray, Sabday Boojhai Aap Savaaray.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">He alone is pure, who eradicates anger. He realizes the Sabd, and reforms himself.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">-----Guru Amardas, Raag Maru, AGGSD, Page, 1059-18</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The philosophy of thought that "God is the only power, and that evil is insubstantial; that we form our own destiny by our thoughts and our beliefs; that conditions do not matter when we pray; that time, space and matter are human illusions; that there is a solution to every problem; that man is the child of God, and God is perfect, good, absolute, and truth” is the only universal philosophy. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਜੀਅ ਜੰਤ ਸਭਿ ਸੁਖਿ ਬਸੇ ਸਭ ਕੈ ਮਨਿ ਲੋਚ ॥ਪਰਉਪਕਾਰੁ ਨਿਤ ਚਿਤਵਤੇ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਛੁ ਪੋਚ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Jee-a Jant Sabh Sukh Basay Sabh Kai Man Loch, Parupkaar Nit Chitvatay Naahee Kachh Poach.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">All beings and creatures dwell in peace; the minds of all yearn for the God. Those who continually remember the It and do good deeds for others; they harbor no ill will towards anyone.-----Guru Arjan, Raag Bilawal, AGGS, Page, 815-19</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">“Love of Akal Purkh is absolutely invincible.” You must build up the true Love-consciousness of Akal Purkh by faithful daily exercise, and then all the rest of the spiritual development will follow. Love will heal you.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਬਦਿ ਕਰੋਧੁ ਜਲਾਵੈ ॥ ਗਗਨਿ ਨਿਵਾਸਿ ਸਮਾਧਿ ਲਗਾਵੈ ॥</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Satgur Sabad Karodh Jalaavai, Gagan Nivaas SamaaDh Lagaavai.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Through the Word of the Guru's Sabd, he burns away his anger. He dwells in the Tenth Gate, immersed in the Samaadhi of deep meditation.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 411-12</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Word of the Sabd leads to thoughts in mind, which are real. One cannot have one kind of mind and another kind of life. If we want to change our lives, then we must change our thoughts first through the Word of the Sabd. Thoughts lead to action, which in turn lead to the formation of habits and the latter result in the formation of character, which in turns leads to destiny. Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">ਮਮਾ ਮਨ ਸਿਉ ਕਾਜੁ ਹੈ ਮਨ ਸਾਧੇ ਸਿਧਿ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਮਨ ਹੀ ਮਨ ਸਿਉ ਕਹੈ ਕਬੀਰਾ ਮਨ ਸਾ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥ </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><em>Mamma Man Seo Kaaj Hai Man Saadhay Sidh Hoey, Man Hee Man Si-o Kahai Kabiraa Man Saa Mili-aa Na Ko-ay.</em></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The mortal's business is with his own mind; one who disciplines his mind attains perfection.-----Kabir, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 343-3</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black"><strong>Conclusion:</strong></span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Priority is love of humanity with humility. All other values are secondary in resolving resentments. Forgiveness is an integral part of the Pathway of Love. It is open to everyone in all circumstances. You may step in to it at any moment - at this current moment if you like. It requires no formal introduction and has no preconditions whatever. We have to get rid of selfishness, dishonesty, self seeking, and fear by taking shelter of Naam.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Once upon a time an older monk and a young monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There they found a pretty lady stuck at the damaged bridge that couldn't cross the river on her own. The older monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The young monk was shocked by the move of the older monk. "How can elder disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the young monk. But he kept quiet.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The older monk carried the lady across the river and the younger monk followed unhappily. When they had crossed the river, the elder monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the young monk was very unhappy with the act of the old monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the old monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the older monk had no inclination to explain his situation.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the young monk could not stand it any further, and he burst out angrily at the older monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite."</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">The old monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">We encounter many unpleasant things in our life; they irritate and make us angry. Sometimes, they even cause us lot of hurt or make us bitter. But like the young monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "unpleasant memory" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Cordially,</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: black">Virinder S. Grewal</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="vsgrewal48895, post: 107838, member: 8024"] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Satyaban ji says,[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]"This is very hard for me to say and I can't remember the last time I said it but you are not one of my favorite people to talk to and will talk to you no more."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Peace[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Satyaban[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Dear Satyaban ji,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]As stated by Teji Ji, the above statement shows resentment but towards who-I do not guess. Anger is a normal feeling which should be cooled down in a little bit but under its influence, individual cannot think straight as said by Guru Arjan and Guru Nanak;[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]ਹੇ ਕਲਿ ਮੂਲ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੰ ਕਦੰਚ ਕਰੁਣਾ ਨ ਉਪਰਜਤੇ॥ਬਿਖਯੰਤ ਜੀਵੰ ਵਸ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਕਰੋਤਿ ਨਿਰਤ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਕਰੋਤਿ ਜਥਾ ਮਰਕਟਹ ॥[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Hė kal mūl kroḏẖ¬aʼn kaḏancẖ karuṇā na uparjaṯė. Bikẖ¬yanṯ jīvaʼn vas¬yaʼn karoṯ nirṯ¬yaʼn karoṯ jathā marakteh.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/I] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]O, Anger, the source of strife, the person haunted by your presence within, never receives Akal Purkh’s Grace. As a matter of fact, whosoever comes under your control jumps and dances around like a monkey.-----Guru Arjan, Sloke Sahskriti, AGGS, Page, 1358-6[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]ਭੰਉਕੈ ਕੋਪੁ ਖੁਆਰੁ ਹੋਇ ਫਕੜੁ ਪਿਟੇ ਅੰਧੁ ॥ ਚੁਪੈ ਚੰਗਾ ਨਾਨਕਾ ਵਿਣੁ ਨਾਵੈ ਮੁਹਿ ਗੰਧੁ ॥[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][I]Bẖaʼnukai kop kẖu¬ār ho¬ė fakaṛ pitė anḏẖ. Cẖupai cẖanga nānkā viṇ nāvai muhi ganḏẖ.[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/I] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]Anger barks and brings ruin on itself, blindly pursuing useless conflicts. It is good to be silent, O, Nanak; without the Name, one's mouth spews forth only filth.[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]-----Guru Nanak, Raag Malar, AGGS, Page, 1288-13[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]But resentment is a disease which is like smouldering fire and can ruin some one's personality and behavior and here are my two cents on the subject for your perusal;[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][B]RESENTMENTS/ਕਰੋਧ[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][B]ABSTRACT[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/CENTER] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Resentment is a low grade persistent anger harbored for a long period of time. It can be caused by egotistical behavior guided by “who is right” rather than humbly by” What is right”? It is a smoldering fire, which can get ignited any time with even a mild provocation. Whereas anger is a short lived normal feeling and makes the individual irrational. It becomes an unresolved anger, which one has over a negative event which occurred in one’s past life. It can only be resolved with forgiveness. Without forgiveness life is governed by an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. Kabir says where there is forgiveness, there is God Itself.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਕਬੀਰਾ ਜਹਾ ਗਿਆਨੁ ਤਹ ਧਰਮੁ ਹੈ ਜਹਾ ਝੂਠੁ ਤਹ ਪਾਪੁ ॥ਜਹਾ ਲੋਭੁ ਤਹ ਕਾਲੁ ਹੈ ਜਹਾ ਖਿਮਾ ਤਹ ਆਪਿ ॥ [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Kabira Jahaa Gi-aan Tah Dharam Hai Jahaa Jhooth Tah Paap, Jaha Lobh Teh Kaal Hai Jaha Khima Teh Aap.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Kabir, where there is spiritual wisdom, there is righteousness. Where there is falsehood, there is sin. Where there is greed, there is death. Where there is forgiveness, there is God Itself. ------Sloke Bhagat Kabir # 155, AGGS, Page, 1372-15[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Resentment is a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will. Resentment is anger excited by a sense of personal injury. Guilt is anger directed at ourselves -- at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others -- at what they did or did not do. It is, etymologically, that reaction of the mind which we instinctively feel when we think ourselves wronged. Pride and selfishness are likely to aggravate this feeling. Guru Arjan advises in Rag Bilawal;[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਮਾਟੀ ਸਿਉ ਮਾਟੀ ਰਲੀ ਨਾਗਾ ਉਠਿ ਜਾਈ ॥ਜਾ ਕੈ ਕੀਐ ਸ੍ਰਮੁ ਕਰੈ ਤੇ ਬੈਰ ਬਿਰੋਧੀ ॥ਅੰਤ ਕਾਲਿ ਭਜਿ ਜਾਹਿਗੇ ਕਾਹੇ ਜਲਹੁ ਕਰੋਧੀ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Maatee Si-o Maatee Ralee Naagaa Outh Jaa-ee, Jaa Kai Kee-ai Saram Karai Tay Bair BiroDhee, Unt Kaal Bhaj Jaahigay Kaahay Jalahu KaroDhee.[/I] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Your dust shall mix with dust; you shall arise and depart naked. Those, for whom you work, will become your spiteful enemies. In the end, they will run away from you; why do you burn for them in anger? -----Guru Arjan, Raag Bilawal, AGGS. Page, 809-15[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Resentment is harboring animosity against a person or group of people who, one believes, may have mistreated him. It is a seething, aching emotional turmoil felt whenever a certain person or event is discussed. Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment. Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]It occurs if forgiveness has not fully occurred due to an inability to let go and forget. It is the root of distrust and suspicion one has when dealing with people or events that brought him pain in the past. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]It ends up in an unresolved grief, which one experiences and finds difficult to accept a loss. This may result in being heart broken because a great effort and much energy was spent to achieve something that was eventually lost. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]It is the result of a feeling that one was unjustly victimized in a way with no resolution to the problem leading to a long-term suffering in silence when an open expression of hurt is unwanted and uninvited. Kabir ponder on the subject in Raag Bhairo;[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਕਾਮੁ ਕਿਵਾਰੀ ਦੁਖੁ ਸੁਖੁ ਦਰਵਾਨੀ ਪਾਪੁ ਪੁੰਨੁ ਦਰਵਾਜਾ ॥ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਪ੍ਰਧਾਨੁ ਮਹਾ ਬਡ ਦੁੰਦਰ ਤਹ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਵਾਸੀ ਰਾਜਾ ॥ [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Kaam Kivaaree Dukh Sukh Darvaanee Paap Punn Darvaajaa, KroDh ParDhaan Mahaa Bad Dundar Tah Man Maavaasee Raajaa.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Lust is the window, pain and pleasure are the gate-keepers; virtue and sin are the gates. Clamorous wrath is the commander and the mind intractable king.-----Kabir, Raag Bhario, AGGS, Page, 1161-15 & 16[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][B]Etiology of resentments:[/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]1. It could be due to passively acceptance of a negative treatment from the others, without ever expressing negative feelings about it and agreeing to do something for the others yet feeling that one is being taken advantage and taken for granted. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]2. It could be due to trying to get others to see the point of view while they ignore or deny the truth or wisdom in what one has to say. It may come from seeing others succeed when they have not worked as hard as one has. One feels they don't deserve this measure of success. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]3. It could also be due to going unrecognized for one’s good work or competence while others are recognized due to favoritism. One may have worked hard and yet may have been thwarted from enjoying the bounty of his success by the others due to discrimination or prejudice against him. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]4. It can be caused by an impossible position in a relationship with someone where one is damned if he does and also damned if he doesn't do what the other person wants from him. One may be embarrassed by a person whose goal was to belittle him by constant rejection, disapproval, and abandonment.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][B]HARBORING OF RESENTMENTS IS DETREMENTAL TO THE INDIVIDUAL[/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The power of resentment may far exceed any potency we may attribute to negative thinking. We may not be aware that:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]1. A life, which includes deep resentment, leads only to futility and unhappiness.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]2. The hours in which we allow futility and unhappiness in our lives are not worthwhile. Resentments waste our lives.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]3. Resentments shut us off from the sunlight of the Spirit, thereby preventing the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]4. When shadowed from the sunlight of the Spirit, resentment creates a physical poison in our bodies, in addition to the mental and spiritual maladies it feeds.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਨਿਰਵੈਰੈ ਨਾਲਿ ਵੈਰੁ ਰਚਾਇਦਾ ਅਪਣੈ ਘਰਿ ਲੂਕੀ ਲਾਇ ॥ਅੰਤਰਿ ਕ੍ਰੋਧੁ ਅਹੰਕਾਰੁ ਹੈ ਅਨਦਿਨੁ ਜਲੈ ਸਦਾ ਦੁਖੁ ਪਾਇ ॥ [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Nirvairai Naal Vair Rachaa-idaa Apnai Ghar Lookee Laa-ay, Antar Krodh Ahankaar Hai Undin Jalai Sadaa Dukh Paaey.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Whoever directs hatred against the Guru, who has no hatred at all, only sets his own home on fire. Anger and egotism are within him night and day; he burns, and suffers constant pain. -----Guru Amardas, Sloke Vaaran To Vadheek, AGGS, Page, 1415-9 & 10[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][B]ERADICATING RESENTMENTS[/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]In trying to rid ourselves of resentments, we have to ask ourselves:[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]1. Who do you hold a grudge against?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]2. What did they do that you found offensive?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]3. How did you contribute to their action? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]4. Why did you react with resentment?[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The first lesson is that resentments cannot be cleared up until one knows that one have them and why. The second lesson is that one makes him/her self vulnerable to the outside world to an extraordinary extent. The entire self-concept has been molded by the opinions and actions of the others and one’s old thinking as to what he/she ought to be and were.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Next, it is necessary to be willing to let go of the resentment. Moreover, we must forgive the person we resent. Just accept right now that one is going to have to do it! There is no other course, because his/her life is now going to be on a different path -- of trusting and relying upon God.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, one must resolutely look for his/her own mistakes and fears.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਡਰਿ ਘਰੁ ਘਰਿ ਡਰੁ ਡਰਿ ਡਰੁ ਜਾਇ ॥ ਸੋ ਡਰੁ ਕੇਹਾ ਜਿਤੁ ਡਰਿ ਡਰੁ ਪਾਇ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Dar Ghar Ghar Dar Dar Dar Jaaey, So Dar Kayhaa Jit Dar Dar Paa-ay.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Place the Fear of God within the home of your heart; with this Fear of God in your heart, all the other fears shall be frightened away. What sort of fear is that, which frightens other fears? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਡਰੀਐ ਜੇ ਡਰੁ ਹੋਵੈ ਹੋਰੁ ॥ ਡਰਿ ਡਰਿ ਡਰਣਾ ਮਨ ਕਾ ਸੋਰੁ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Darī▫ai je dar hovai hor. Dar dar darṇā man kā sor.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Be afraid, if you have any fear, other than the Fear of God. Afraid of fear, and living in fear, the mind is held in tumult.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 151-7 & 9[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we should have faith that we will be forgiven. We should be grateful that we would have learned some lessons. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm the others, we are dwelling upon spiritual ignorance.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be he had done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a better attitude toward him, we are still not too keen about admitting our faults. Nevertheless, with a person we dislike, we take the bit in our teeth. It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we may find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feeling and expressing our regret. Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]When we retire at night, we should constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves, which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflections, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken? “God save me from being angry and resentful. Thy will be done.” We should avoid retaliation or argument.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਹਰਿ ਕੇ ਚਰਨ ਕਮਲ ਮਨਿ ਧਿਆਉ ॥ਕਾਢਿ ਕੁਠਾਰੁ ਪਿਤ ਬਾਤ ਹੰਤਾ ਅਉਖਧੁ ਹਰਿ ਕੋ ਨਾਉ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Har Kay Charan Kamal Man Dhi-aa-o, Kaadh Kuthaar Pit Baat Hantaa Aoukhadh Har Ko Naaou.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Meditate on the lotus feet of the God within your mind. The Name of the Akal Purkh is the medicine; it is like an axe, which destroys the diseases caused by resentment and egotism.-----Guru Arjan Raag Todi, AGGS, Page, 714-11[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][B]Overcoming resentments:[/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]1. By admitting to self that there is unresolved resentment behind my hostile, [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]cynical and sarcastic attitude; I should decide to rid myself of it. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]2. By doing private anger work-out toward the people I resent. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]3. By writing a letter in which I detail all of the reasons for my resentment but NOT mailing it. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]4. By identifying the ``hot buttons'' that indicate the presence of resentment in me and working at defusing their impact. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]5. By working at a rational outlook on my past life so that it isn't a chain around my neck in the future.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਨਾਨਕ ਅਉਗੁਣ ਜੇਤੜੇ ਤੇਤੇ ਗਲੀ ਜੰਜੀਰ ॥ ਜੇ ਗੁਣ ਹੋਨਿ ਤ ਕਟੀਅਨਿ ਸੇ ਭਾਈ ਸੇ ਵੀਰ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Nanak Aougun Jetrrhay Tetay Galee Janjeer, Jay Gun Hoan Ta Katian Say Bhai Say Veer.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]O Nanak, All evils are like chains thrown round the neck These are snapped by good Qualities, being our brothers and helpers.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Sorath, AGGS, Page, 595[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]6. By listing those for whom I had resentment and systematically working at [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]forgiving and forgetting their past offenses.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]7. By improving my self-esteem and self-worth; looking only to myself for approval [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]and recognition.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]8. By working with my support network to identify when I slip back into resentment over my past. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]9. By developing self-affirmations and positive self-visualizations to overcome my negative outlook on life. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]10. By re-establishing myself in pursuits in which I excelled, but dropped due to lack of perceived success and truth.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਸੋ ਸੂਚਾ ਜਿ ਕਰੋਧੁ ਨਿਵਾਰੇ ॥ ਸਬਦੇ ਬੂਝੈ ਆਪੁ ਸਵਾਰੇ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]So Soochaa Jay Karodh Nivaaray, Sabday Boojhai Aap Savaaray.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]He alone is pure, who eradicates anger. He realizes the Sabd, and reforms himself.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]-----Guru Amardas, Raag Maru, AGGSD, Page, 1059-18[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The philosophy of thought that "God is the only power, and that evil is insubstantial; that we form our own destiny by our thoughts and our beliefs; that conditions do not matter when we pray; that time, space and matter are human illusions; that there is a solution to every problem; that man is the child of God, and God is perfect, good, absolute, and truth” is the only universal philosophy. [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਜੀਅ ਜੰਤ ਸਭਿ ਸੁਖਿ ਬਸੇ ਸਭ ਕੈ ਮਨਿ ਲੋਚ ॥ਪਰਉਪਕਾਰੁ ਨਿਤ ਚਿਤਵਤੇ ਨਾਹੀ ਕਛੁ ਪੋਚ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Jee-a Jant Sabh Sukh Basay Sabh Kai Man Loch, Parupkaar Nit Chitvatay Naahee Kachh Poach.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]All beings and creatures dwell in peace; the minds of all yearn for the God. Those who continually remember the It and do good deeds for others; they harbor no ill will towards anyone.-----Guru Arjan, Raag Bilawal, AGGS, Page, 815-19[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]“Love of Akal Purkh is absolutely invincible.” You must build up the true Love-consciousness of Akal Purkh by faithful daily exercise, and then all the rest of the spiritual development will follow. Love will heal you.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸਬਦਿ ਕਰੋਧੁ ਜਲਾਵੈ ॥ ਗਗਨਿ ਨਿਵਾਸਿ ਸਮਾਧਿ ਲਗਾਵੈ ॥[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Satgur Sabad Karodh Jalaavai, Gagan Nivaas SamaaDh Lagaavai.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Through the Word of the Guru's Sabd, he burns away his anger. He dwells in the Tenth Gate, immersed in the Samaadhi of deep meditation.-----Guru Nanak, Raag Asa, AGGS, Page, 411-12[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Word of the Sabd leads to thoughts in mind, which are real. One cannot have one kind of mind and another kind of life. If we want to change our lives, then we must change our thoughts first through the Word of the Sabd. Thoughts lead to action, which in turn lead to the formation of habits and the latter result in the formation of character, which in turns leads to destiny. Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]ਮਮਾ ਮਨ ਸਿਉ ਕਾਜੁ ਹੈ ਮਨ ਸਾਧੇ ਸਿਧਿ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਮਨ ਹੀ ਮਨ ਸਿਉ ਕਹੈ ਕਬੀਰਾ ਮਨ ਸਾ ਮਿਲਿਆ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥ [/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][I]Mamma Man Seo Kaaj Hai Man Saadhay Sidh Hoey, Man Hee Man Si-o Kahai Kabiraa Man Saa Mili-aa Na Ko-ay.[/I][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The mortal's business is with his own mind; one who disciplines his mind attains perfection.-----Kabir, Raag Gauri, AGGS, Page, 343-3[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black][B]Conclusion:[/B][/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Priority is love of humanity with humility. All other values are secondary in resolving resentments. Forgiveness is an integral part of the Pathway of Love. It is open to everyone in all circumstances. You may step in to it at any moment - at this current moment if you like. It requires no formal introduction and has no preconditions whatever. We have to get rid of selfishness, dishonesty, self seeking, and fear by taking shelter of Naam.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Once upon a time an older monk and a young monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There they found a pretty lady stuck at the damaged bridge that couldn't cross the river on her own. The older monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The young monk was shocked by the move of the older monk. "How can elder disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the young monk. But he kept quiet.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The older monk carried the lady across the river and the younger monk followed unhappily. When they had crossed the river, the elder monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the young monk was very unhappy with the act of the old monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the old monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the older monk had no inclination to explain his situation.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the young monk could not stand it any further, and he burst out angrily at the older monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite."[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]The old monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]We encounter many unpleasant things in our life; they irritate and make us angry. Sometimes, they even cause us lot of hurt or make us bitter. But like the young monk, we are not willing to let them go away. We keep on carrying the baggage of the "unpleasant memory" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Cordially,[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]Virinder S. Grewal[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Discussions
Sikh Sikhi Sikhism
Sikh Youth
Why Are There So Many Religions?
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn more…
Top