How society has transformed in terms of gender roles, primarily affecting young men's mental health

Aug 23, 2022
15
1
21
Hello all,

hope you are well. I am young sikh boy (20's) british-born living in London. I would like to speak about how loneliness is affecting me and majority of my male friends whether they are sikh or not.

I am all for equality, I have sisters and want the best for them but equality shouldn't be at men's expense. The world is always against men for everything. Issue occurs household finances and they look to the father, issue occurs with the children and they look to the father etc..

The issue is nowadays women are much more masculine, majority of women in the west take home larger paychecks than men and are often more educated and get promoted more aswell and getting the first job offer. Men are really not wanted anywhere.

Men are being made weaker by society as they have no purpose, in the old days; a man's purpose was to provide for wife and family but who does man provide for now?

When I think of myself, I am educated, I work, I cook, clean, can literally do everything for myself, the only reasons I can see the need for having wife would be to relieve my loneliness and to start a family. Also to make a point about the loneliness in marriage, there are plenty of older married men in my family(uncles, babas etc.) who are very lonely and have simply been used by their wives for money and then kicked to the kerb.

Also why such negative representation of men? People always assume men are up to no good. I'm mid 20's and never drunk,smoked or anything like that and i know plenty of females (sikh and non-sikh) engaging in dangerous behaviour such as constant premarital sex with different partners regularly, drinking heavy, smoking, drugs etc and still bad portrayal of men.


In terms of loneliness for men as whole, this is contributed for so many factors such as toxic masculinity. Like trying to discuss emotional issues with other men in the punjabi community is a hard thing without being made fun out of. Also as we all know, sikh men tend to relieve loneliness by seeking a long-term partner (i.e. marriage).

So does it mean in this current modern society I will be feeling lonely unless I get married? Of course loneliness is still there even after marriage, I am aware that a human comes into world alone and goes out alone and we must look deeper but I just think male loneliness and male bashing must be addressed because young males are turning bitter and ever so cynical.

Can someone guide me please.
 

Simran1234

SPNer
Aug 17, 2022
5
1
You just need to turn inwards, otherwise your loneliness will not let you find a stable partner because you will think they must relieve your loneliness somehow and you might also in turn end up like your uncles being used for their money by their wives.
I was in a relationship and still felt lonely and misunderstood. I know women have a better life you may think they are indulging in all those shenanigans you mentioned above, but i bet they are not really happy.
We all long for a good partner, so wait for that, pray for that, manifest that instead and the best way to do it is by staying connected to gurbani, staying connected with the Guru inside you, not compromising with your life whatsoever.
And guru sahib jee will bless you when time comes, you need to leave the ball in his court and know that you are never really alone as long as your guru is with you at all times, just turning inwards saying waheguru please guide me.
 

Mike20222022

SPNer
Apr 13, 2022
9
1
77
Hello all,

hope you are well. I am young sikh boy (20's) british-born living in London. I would like to speak about how loneliness is affecting me and majority of my male friends whether they are sikh or not.

I am all for equality, I have sisters and want the best for them but equality shouldn't be at men's expense. The world is always against men for everything. Issue occurs household finances and they look to the father, issue occurs with the children and they look to the father etc..

The issue is nowadays women are much more masculine, majority of women in the west take home larger paychecks than men and are often more educated and get promoted more aswell and getting the first job offer. Men are really not wanted anywhere.

Men are being made weaker by society as they have no purpose, in the old days; a man's purpose was to provide for wife and family but who does man provide for now?

When I think of myself, I am educated, I work, I cook, clean, can literally do everything for myself, the only reasons I can see the need for having wife would be to relieve my loneliness and to start a family. Also to make a point about the loneliness in marriage, there are plenty of older married men in my family(uncles, babas etc.) who are very lonely and have simply been used by their wives for money and then kicked to the kerb.

Also why such negative representation of men? People always assume men are up to no good. I'm mid 20's and never drunk,smoked or anything like that and i know plenty of females (sikh and non-sikh) engaging in dangerous behaviour such as constant premarital sex with different partners regularly, drinking heavy, smoking, drugs etc and still bad portrayal of men.


In terms of loneliness for men as whole, this is contributed for so many factors such as toxic masculinity. Like trying to discuss emotional issues with other men in the punjabi community is a hard thing without being made fun out of. Also as we all know, sikh men tend to relieve loneliness by seeking a long-term partner (i.e. marriage).

So does it mean in this current modern society I will be feeling lonely unless I get married? Of course loneliness is still there even after marriage, I am aware that a human comes into world alone and goes out alone and we must look deeper but I just think male loneliness and male bashing must be addressed because young males are turning bitter and ever so cynical.

Can someone guide me please.
Your post is very incoherent and I can’t tell what point you are making.

You are complaining that women are more independent, make more money than men, have more education. How is that bad in any way or their fault that are doing better than men?
As to them not needing men, may be it points to the fact that only value men added to their lives was forced by society and now that they are able to break those shackles, men are failing to meet their basic expectations.
 
Aug 23, 2022
15
1
21
Your post is very incoherent and I can’t tell what point you are making.

You are complaining that women are more independent, make more money than men, have more education. How is that bad in any way or their fault that are doing better than men?
As to them not needing men, may be it points to the fact that only value men added to their lives was forced by society and now that they are able to break those shackles, men are failing to meet their basic expectations.
I never once complained women are independent.. I even mentioned I am all for equality. In terms of men meeting women's expectations, men can literally do everything; its just nowadays women just expect a partner in the top 1%. You should elaborate on these basic expectations.

Also, the point you make about the only value men add to women's life was forced by society; the same can be said for women. Men can do everything for themselves, they only need to seek a partner if they wish to start a family otherwise a man can survive on his own. Majority of men are used to surviving alone anyway.
 

Harichan1771

SPNer
Jun 3, 2022
8
2
23
Loneliness because of women getting their needs fulfilled by themselves is very odd concept in my opinion. Will having a wife who'll sit at home and do housework will curb this feeling?
People have wives both working or non working and still get lonely and its true for the opposite gender as well.
We need relationship to fulfill each other's emotional needs if not financial.
Nothing judgmental but people in west (or far east loke japan) have less personal time for building meaningful relations and it feels that young people are becoming cynical or anything.
 
Sep 1, 2022
2
0
27
Hello all,

hope you are well. I am young sikh boy (20's) british-born living in London. I would like to speak about how loneliness is affecting me and majority of my male friends whether they are sikh or not.

I am all for equality, I have sisters and want the best for them but equality shouldn't be at men's expense. The world is always against men for everything. Issue occurs household finances and they look to the father, issue occurs with the children and they look to the father etc..

The issue is nowadays women are much more masculine, majority of women in the west take home larger paychecks than men and are often more educated and get promoted more aswell and getting the first job offer. Men are really not wanted anywhere.

Men are being made weaker by society as they have no purpose, in the old days; a man's purpose was to provide for wife and family but who does man provide for now?

When I think of myself, I am educated, I work, I cook, clean, can literally do everything for myself, the only reasons I can see the need for having wife would be to relieve my loneliness and to start a family. Also to make a point about the loneliness in marriage, there are plenty of older married men in my family(uncles, babas etc.) who are very lonely and have simply been used by their wives for money and then kicked to the kerb.

Also why such negative representation of men? People always assume men are up to no good. I'm mid 20's and never drunk,smoked or anything like that and i know plenty of females (sikh and non-sikh) engaging in dangerous behaviour such as constant premarital sex with different partners regularly, drinking heavy, smoking, drugs etc and still bad portrayal of men.


In terms of loneliness for men as whole, this is contributed for so many factors such as toxic masculinity. Like trying to discuss emotional issues with other men in the punjabi community is a hard thing without being made fun out of. Also as we all know, sikh men tend to relieve loneliness by seeking a long-term partner (i.e. marriage).

So does it mean in this current modern society I will be feeling lonely unless I get married? Of course loneliness is still there even after marriage, I am aware that a human comes into world alone and goes out alone and we must look deeper but I just think male loneliness and male bashing must be addressed because young males are turning bitter and ever so cynical.

Can someone guide me please.
Why are you focusing on the liberal girls still finding themselves and not amritdhari baptised Sikh girls at the temple or matchmade by your parents?

See you are shallow, you want women with good looks, great fashion, money making ability and then this same woman will also carry your child and relieve your loneliness.
And you will do what in return? Contribute to what in her life? Her money, her looks, her womb, her charisma in exchange for a manchild?

The Guru will not be pleased by your take on the advancement of women and your self pity will result in the same thing that happened to Guru Nanak's son.

In Sikhism, an unmarried man is not considered a real Sikh. In Sikhism , a man who does not support his family financially and give his all and utmost dedication is not considered a real man or a true Sikh. All this complaining is effeminate.. were you coddled by your mother growing up or are you just se*ually frustrated, expecting a woman to fall on your lap with no effort and looking for something to blame?

Have you been reading incel gora forums? Are you friends with men who blame women for their personal failures who then reinforce your toxic beliefs? If you truly want an orthodox SIkh woman then find one from the village who doesnt believe in hair removal and adornment.

You cannot want a modern, charming and se*xually appealing Sikhi and also expect her to be your lifelong emotional therapist and finance herself while incubating your future baby. That is the opposite of what Sikhism expects out of a man; Sikhism was the most feminist religion of its time--it exalts women. So if you are not happy and keep putting your sisters down, you can always convert to Islam or Christianity and take your hatred there.

Even the founder of basics of Sikhi on youtube had a sordid past of casual s*x, alcohol, drugs and married a white woman then left her a widow with many kids. Cut your sikh sisters some slack. No one is asking you to marry the modern, educated ones, especially if they are out of your league.

And yes a woman married to a man has exchanged her entire life and possible other suitors/options for what he brings to the table. If a man is not prepared or able to contribute to a woman's quality and standard of life, including her childrens', then he should abstain from marriage and do coffee dates on a revolving door of women on dating apps.

Children who grow up with fathers who are penny pinching end up miserable and bullied at school, with low self esteem. Finances are required to run a household, that is the reality of life. Those who can't cope with it are free to live inside a tent in some forest or in an ashram.

You should be happy that your ethnic minority sisters are doing well in this modern, white man's world. If you don't take care, soon, no women want to settle with sikh men, finding them hateful..and what will you do when other races see value in sikh women and snap them up, even converting for her in laws? You men will not have any women left. There is already a lot more sikh men than women.. appreciate them or soon you will find none at all to marry.

Think about it, all this complaining has been done by plenty of white men ABOUT WHITE WOMEN and plenty of Chinese men ABOUT CHINESE WOMEN.. if you look at the worldwide statistics, arab and sikh women are the most loyal women globally. My white male friends have asked me to set them up with Sikh women, modern ones, because they find their own women unbearable to put up with. I am hearing the same things from their east asian counterparts. Now if you want arab women, their in laws require more $$$ from the men before they are willing to give up their daughters.

And white women, forget it.. the normal non weird ones only want ethnic men who are accomplished e.g. doctors, bankers and successful.. but these same white women who are open to dating ethnic men who don't make $ a priority mostly seek Pakistanis and Blacks..are you ready to compete with them in the dating market?

As for loneliness, get a hobby, have some interests, read, interact. QUIT the internet, video games, p*rn. Busy men with productive lives and a purpose are never lonely. Do you think a woman you end up with would not want to jump out of the window or escape upon realising your moodiness? Get some exercise, quit whining and *man up*. You are the descendant of warriors for God's sake. Read the history of your people.. women were the backbone and fought alongside men, even when the men lost hope and complained with self pity. Sikh women defend the hell out of their men and are proven pillars during times of adversity. Even my own father converted in order to be good enough for my mother and raised me as a Sikhi.. how are you, a pure Punjabi Sikh, so weak and self indulgent like this.. as a mixed race person i can just as easily say that pure indian Sikh men of this generation are a far cry from their Gurus.

You may find my reply harsh and to the point, but I guarantee that were Guru Gobind Singh alive today, he would be much harsher. You never needed to go to war and have benefitted from the sacrifices of your parents and modern technological advancements. Do something with your life to be worthy of an enduring Sikh marriage and stop scrolling through instagram and tiktok looking at ultra modern girls with envy. There are Sikh women out there who don't make a mockery of themselves on social media. Focus on the ones you actually want to attract and disregard the rest.

If i want to i can focus on the countless online posts by Sikh men like you and decry Sikh men as a whole, but then i remember there are Sikh men like my father and brothers who never complained about building their savings and working hard, who enjoyed sharing what they have with the ones they love. Any man who doesn't simply doesn't love the woman enough.

For every man in your family you claim are resentful of providing for their actual childbearing wives needing rightful financial support, i know plenty more shamefully taking loans from the wife's in laws, paying $$ to women only 0nlyfans, having secret children with side women, bankrupting her savings through online gambling etc. Hang out at a local Gurdwara enough and all these stories will come out through the grapevine. I have heard too many of these Sikh men hall of shame stories from Gurdwaras in 5 different countries. With stories far crazier than I can ever hope to write on here.. yet do I group all Sikh men by their lowest common denominator?

I will end with this. My brothers grew up seeing my father support my mother, his 7 siblings, his parents, his sibling's children, his own children.. all without a single complaint. I guarantee that even your uncles did not work as hard as my own father. Why did my brothers not grow up to be as hateful and misogynistic as you? My mother was right at the peak of her career making 50x the amount my father was in the early days and quit it all to raise good quality children. Is it not right to support a woman making a huge trade off in her career to start a family with you and ensure her children are well cared for, grow up well and not socially awkward etc.? Now imagine how tired my mother would have been had my father been a lonely complainer requiring 24/7 attention? You are simply too idle and delusional in your expectations of women.

Your biggest adversary is not overeducated, modern sikh women, it is the non sikh men tired of their own race seeking out sikh women as their wives/long-term partners. Step up or lose out. I'm telling you something your father and or community priest should have told you long ago before your mindset developed. If you want Sikh people to decline in number and our entire community wiped out or overtaken by other minorities and or mixed race folks in the decades to come, continue on the path you are on.

Be grateful that your parents provided for and coddled you instead of kicking you out of the house at 16 to fend for yourself like most white parents. Only those kinds of folks or children of single mothers have the right to complain

Just look at how much Elon Musk has paid a punjabi Sikh woman for a child together, not even requiring her to actually be pregnant and married to him, literally so that his baby has her genetics and IQ.
 
Last edited:
Sep 1, 2022
2
0
27
I never once complained women are independent.. I even mentioned I am all for equality. In terms of men meeting women's expectations, men can literally do everything; its just nowadays women just expect a partner in the top 1%. You should elaborate on these basic expectations.

Also, the point you make about the only value men add to women's life was forced by society; the same can be said for women. Men can do everything for themselves, they only need to seek a partner if they wish to start a family otherwise a man can survive on his own. Majority of men are used to surviving alone anyway.
If you already know that you have no need for women, why did you decide to post? To waste all of our time, get attention, or do you hope that all forum members on here will start developing mental illness, social awkwardness and agree with you, saying: "yes brah, our very own sikh women are evill!! Chain them, burn them!"

Any 20 year old with half a brain would realise that members of this forum are well adjusted sikhs and have mothers, daughters and wives they love and respect.. no one is rushing to join your INCEL CLUB. You people are a minority (and hated globally--seen as a pariah) for a reason. If you want to make an identity revolving around your failures and mediocrity, be my guest.
Buy yourself a fleshlight, a VR headset, waste whatever little money you have on 0nly fans or useless gadgets and bid us farewell.

People generally don't spend time complaining about what they don't need. If you don't need or want women as much as i don't need or want an xbox, stop posting and live as an incel-mgtow like autistic white folks and school shooters (i saw this because your post sounds like the beginning of most school shooter manifestos).

What you need is therapy and self awareness and most importantly: good quality, well adjusted, HAPPY, ACCOMPLISHED role models with their manhood intact. You wont get that from male relatives you find pathetic and don't respect.

There is a reason why no women, Punjabi Sikh or not are not falling on your lap. Most normal people will wonder what they can do to improve themselves and not repel women as a whole. Otherwise, just forget about Punjabi Sikh women as a whole (doing us a favor to be honest, and find whatever other race is willing to cope with you.

Anyway, if you don't care for advice and are set in your ways, this is the wrong place. I believe the forum you are looking for is reddit and 4chan and God knows whatever other incel underbelly..

I hope you realise how cliched it is for brown/indian men (usually not Punjabi Sikhs who are often more comfortable in their own skin compared to other Indian ethnic groups)to complain about women in general, so much that even white and black men have made fun of you lot on youtube and in person.

Really, you are not doing brown/punjabi/sikh women any favours by literally embodying the incel stereotype.. making all of us look bad... smh

You come here with a problem and we have given you a solution. If you are so sure your current way of thinking is the solution, go ahead and live life trusting your so called insights. You are lucky people even care about helping you through tough love over a screen instead of enabling or ignoring you.

The reason i am even wasting time writing is because i still feel some loyalty to a male sikh stranger on the internet clearly in need of intervention. In reality i don't owe you anything.. but I sure as hell am in disbelief seeing a Sikh brother fall into this quicksand..

With the myriad of men turning transgender and those sucked into videogames, reddit, p*rn addiction,booze and toxic thinking, how many real men are left? Which camp do you want to be a part of? Just look at the global university enrollment statistics--far more women than men..

I don't see a difference between the tone of your post and that of racist white/euro men complaining about educated/brown/ethnic immigrants being overeducated and taking away their jobs..saying "we don't need them here using our taxed for services, paying them salary in our currency, we are fine on our own."

Maybe it's a good thing you are not married yet; you definitely don't sound ready or mature enough to raise children
 
Last edited:
Aug 23, 2022
15
1
21
Why are you focusing on the liberal girls still finding themselves and not amritdhari baptised Sikh girls at the temple or matchmade by your parents?

See you are shallow, you want women with good looks, great fashion, money making ability and then this same woman will also carry your child and relieve your loneliness.
And you will do what in return? Contribute to what in her life? Her money, her looks, her womb, her charisma in exchange for a manchild?

The Guru will not be pleased by your take on the advancement of women and your self pity will result in the same thing that happened to Guru Nanak's son.

In Sikhism, an unmarried man is not considered a real Sikh. In Sikhism , a man who does not support his family financially and give his all and utmost dedication is not considered a real man or a true Sikh. All this complaining is effeminate.. were you coddled by your mother growing up or are you just se*ually frustrated, expecting a woman to fall on your lap with no effort and looking for something to blame?

Have you been reading incel gora forums? Are you friends with men who blame women for their personal failures who then reinforce your toxic beliefs? If you truly want an orthodox SIkh woman then find one from the village who doesnt believe in hair removal and adornment.

You cannot want a modern, charming and se*xually appealing Sikhi and also expect her to be your lifelong emotional therapist and finance herself while incubating your future baby. That is the opposite of what Sikhism expects out of a man; Sikhism was the most feminist religion of its time--it exalts women. So if you are not happy and keep putting your sisters down, you can always convert to Islam or Christianity and take your hatred there.

Even the founder of basics of Sikhi on youtube had a sordid past of casual s*x, alcohol, drugs and married a white woman then left her a widow with many kids. Cut your sikh sisters some slack. No one is asking you to marry the modern, educated ones, especially if they are out of your league.

And yes a woman married to a man has exchanged her entire life and possible other suitors/options for what he brings to the table. If a man is not prepared or able to contribute to a woman's quality and standard of life, including her childrens', then he should abstain from marriage and do coffee dates on a revolving door of women on dating apps.

Children who grow up with fathers who are penny pinching end up miserable and bullied at school, with low self esteem. Finances are required to run a household, that is the reality of life. Those who can't cope with it are free to live inside a tent in some forest or in an ashram.

You should be happy that your ethnic minority sisters are doing well in this modern, white man's world. If you don't take care, soon, no women want to settle with sikh men, finding them hateful..and what will you do when other races see value in sikh women and snap them up, even converting for her in laws? You men will not have any women left. There is already a lot more sikh men than women.. appreciate them or soon you will find none at all to marry.

Think about it, all this complaining has been done by plenty of white men ABOUT WHITE WOMEN and plenty of Chinese men ABOUT CHINESE WOMEN.. if you look at the worldwide statistics, arab and sikh women are the most loyal women globally. My white male friends have asked me to set them up with Sikh women, modern ones, because they find their own women unbearable to put up with. I am hearing the same things from their east asian counterparts. Now if you want arab women, their in laws require more $$$ from the men before they are willing to give up their daughters.

And white women, forget it.. the normal non weird ones only want ethnic men who are accomplished e.g. doctors, bankers and successful.. but these same white women who are open to dating ethnic men who don't make $ a priority mostly seek Pakistanis and Blacks..are you ready to compete with them in the dating market?

As for loneliness, get a hobby, have some interests, read, interact. QUIT the internet, video games, p*rn. Busy men with productive lives and a purpose are never lonely. Do you think a woman you end up with would not want to jump out of the window or escape upon realising your moodiness? Get some exercise, quit whining and *man up*. You are the descendant of warriors for God's sake. Read the history of your people.. women were the backbone and fought alongside men, even when the men lost hope and complained with self pity. Sikh women defend the hell out of their men and are proven pillars during times of adversity. Even my own father converted in order to be good enough for my mother and raised me as a Sikhi.. how are you, a pure Punjabi Sikh, so weak and self indulgent like this.. as a mixed race person i can just as easily say that pure indian Sikh men of this generation are a far cry from their Gurus.

You may find my reply harsh and to the point, but I guarantee that were Guru Gobind Singh alive today, he would be much harsher. You never needed to go to war and have benefitted from the sacrifices of your parents and modern technological advancements. Do something with your life to be worthy of an enduring Sikh marriage and stop scrolling through instagram and tiktok looking at ultra modern girls with envy. There are Sikh women out there who don't make a mockery of themselves on social media. Focus on the ones you actually want to attract and disregard the rest.

If i want to i can focus on the countless online posts by Sikh men like you and decry Sikh men as a whole, but then i remember there are Sikh men like my father and brothers who never complained about building their savings and working hard, who enjoyed sharing what they have with the ones they love. Any man who doesn't simply doesn't love the woman enough.

For every man in your family you claim are resentful of providing for their actual childbearing wives needing rightful financial support, i know plenty more shamefully taking loans from the wife's in laws, paying $$ to women only 0nlyfans, having secret children with side women, bankrupting her savings through online gambling etc. Hang out at a local Gurdwara enough and all these stories will come out through the grapevine. I have heard too many of these Sikh men hall of shame stories from Gurdwaras in 5 different countries. With stories far crazier than I can ever hope to write on here.. yet do I group all Sikh men by their lowest common denominator?

I will end with this. My brothers grew up seeing my father support my mother, his 7 siblings, his parents, his sibling's children, his own children.. all without a single complaint. I guarantee that even your uncles did not work as hard as my own father. Why did my brothers not grow up to be as hateful and misogynistic as you? My mother was right at the peak of her career making 50x the amount my father was in the early days and quit it all to raise good quality children. Is it not right to support a woman making a huge trade off in her career to start a family with you and ensure her children are well cared for, grow up well and not socially awkward etc.? Now imagine how tired my mother would have been had my father been a lonely complainer requiring 24/7 attention? You are simply too idle and delusional in your expectations of women.

Your biggest adversary is not overeducated, modern sikh women, it is the non sikh men tired of their own race seeking out sikh women as their wives/long-term partners. Step up or lose out. I'm telling you something your father and or community priest should have told you long ago before your mindset developed. If you want Sikh people to decline in number and our entire community wiped out or overtaken by other minorities and or mixed race folks in the decades to come, continue on the path you are on.

Be grateful that your parents provided for and coddled you instead of kicking you out of the house at 16 to fend for yourself like most white parents. Only those kinds of folks or children of single mothers have the right to complain

Just look at how much Elon Musk has paid a punjabi Sikh woman for a child together, not even requiring her to actually be pregnant and married to him, literally so that his baby has her genetics and IQ.
It is scary how many assumptions you just made... the fact I have terrible bad habits, or that I am only seeking liberal girls. Your response was so irrelevant, if I went to my gurdwara and spoke to their mental health services about this issue; there is no way they would talk like this.

You said you are being harsh, i literally said in my first post that toxic masculinity in young sikh men is making them lose their faith in sikhi as I am one of them and yet you speak this rudely?

If people in the community cannot open up about anything or even ask a simple and reasonable question then of course, they begin to doubt their community. I asked a fair question and you gave such a biased response and bit my head off. I gave you a fair question and you, for some unknown reason told me your whole life story about your dad etc? Pretty much all sikhs in our community work hard as far as I know.

This is a sikhi-based forum and when we ask questions, we seek answers based on our religion not your petty biased views.

you also stated that 'You come here with a problem and we have given you a solution.', the only person who helped in this thread has been simran1234, as their response revolved around core concepts of our religion.

I got no clue what you are even on about.
 

Kullers

SPNer
Jun 4, 2022
5
1
51
My brother, occasionally some of our Panth forget the first foundation of Sikhi, Daya (compassion) the first Panch Pyara, then Dharam. Feeling lonely you must remember is a state of mind and through Gurbani our purpose is to conquer the mind, the TRUE self is never alone, after all, he created his creation and watches over it (SGGS p6 Pauri 37).

Let virginity be your way in the world (SGGS p6 Pauri 28), I am super impressed a man of your young age has the discipline to lead a disciplined life, you are a true Sikh. We do not comment or slander others for that is their path whatever actions they are doing. Your path is your own and by Hukam you have yours and others have theirs. You have shown that you really do value yourself and this is a fundamental character trait of a Sikh.

If the feelings of loneliness persist I can only recommend you take the instruction from the Guru’s and do what they wanted us to do. The first instruction in the SGGS p1 is Jap. Jap Naam. When to do it (SGGS p2 Pauri 4) Amrit Vyala, in the morning before dawn or before breakfast. This is the way to begin to transform the mind, this is Sri Guru Nanak‘s philosophy and technology of transformation.

Remember our purpose is not be get married and have children, it is to re-connect with the One. If Waheguru has found you a partner then that is by his grace. You should not worry about it, he does not make mistakes and will ALWAYS do the best for you, leave it to him, but you must begin to do your part.
 
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