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Guru Granth Sahib
Composition, Arrangement & Layout
ਜਪੁ | Jup
ਸੋ ਦਰੁ | So Dar
ਸੋਹਿਲਾ | Sohilaa
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ | Raag Siree-Raag
Gurbani (14-53)
Ashtpadiyan (53-71)
Gurbani (71-74)
Pahre (74-78)
Chhant (78-81)
Vanjara (81-82)
Vaar Siri Raag (83-91)
Bhagat Bani (91-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਝ | Raag Maajh
Gurbani (94-109)
Ashtpadi (109)
Ashtpadiyan (110-129)
Ashtpadi (129-130)
Ashtpadiyan (130-133)
Bara Maha (133-136)
Din Raen (136-137)
Vaar Maajh Ki (137-150)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗਉੜੀ | Raag Gauree
Gurbani (151-185)
Quartets/Couplets (185-220)
Ashtpadiyan (220-234)
Karhalei (234-235)
Ashtpadiyan (235-242)
Chhant (242-249)
Baavan Akhari (250-262)
Sukhmani (262-296)
Thittee (296-300)
Gauree kii Vaar (300-323)
Gurbani (323-330)
Ashtpadiyan (330-340)
Baavan Akhari (340-343)
Thintteen (343-344)
Vaar Kabir (344-345)
Bhagat Bani (345-346)
ਰਾਗੁ ਆਸਾ | Raag Aasaa
Gurbani (347-348)
Chaupaday (348-364)
Panchpadde (364-365)
Kaafee (365-409)
Aasaavaree (409-411)
Ashtpadiyan (411-432)
Patee (432-435)
Chhant (435-462)
Vaar Aasaa (462-475)
Bhagat Bani (475-488)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ | Raag Goojaree
Gurbani (489-503)
Ashtpadiyan (503-508)
Vaar Gujari (508-517)
Vaar Gujari (517-526)
ਰਾਗੁ ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ | Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree
Gurbani (527-536)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਹਾਗੜਾ | Raag Bihaagraa
Gurbani (537-556)
Chhant (538-548)
Vaar Bihaagraa (548-556)
ਰਾਗੁ ਵਡਹੰਸ | Raag Wadhans
Gurbani (557-564)
Ashtpadiyan (564-565)
Chhant (565-575)
Ghoriaan (575-578)
Alaahaniiaa (578-582)
Vaar Wadhans (582-594)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੋਰਠਿ | Raag Sorath
Gurbani (595-634)
Asatpadhiya (634-642)
Vaar Sorath (642-659)
ਰਾਗੁ ਧਨਾਸਰੀ | Raag Dhanasaree
Gurbani (660-685)
Astpadhiya (685-687)
Chhant (687-691)
Bhagat Bani (691-695)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਤਸਰੀ | Raag Jaitsree
Gurbani (696-703)
Chhant (703-705)
Vaar Jaitsaree (705-710)
Bhagat Bani (710)
ਰਾਗੁ ਟੋਡੀ | Raag Todee
ਰਾਗੁ ਬੈਰਾੜੀ | Raag Bairaaree
ਰਾਗੁ ਤਿਲੰਗ | Raag Tilang
Gurbani (721-727)
Bhagat Bani (727)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ | Raag Suhi
Gurbani (728-750)
Ashtpadiyan (750-761)
Kaafee (761-762)
Suchajee (762)
Gunvantee (763)
Chhant (763-785)
Vaar Soohee (785-792)
Bhagat Bani (792-794)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ | Raag Bilaaval
Gurbani (795-831)
Ashtpadiyan (831-838)
Thitteen (838-840)
Vaar Sat (841-843)
Chhant (843-848)
Vaar Bilaaval (849-855)
Bhagat Bani (855-858)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੋਂਡ | Raag Gond
Gurbani (859-869)
Ashtpadiyan (869)
Bhagat Bani (870-875)
ਰਾਗੁ ਰਾਮਕਲੀ | Raag Ramkalee
Ashtpadiyan (902-916)
Gurbani (876-902)
Anand (917-922)
Sadd (923-924)
Chhant (924-929)
Dakhnee (929-938)
Sidh Gosat (938-946)
Vaar Ramkalee (947-968)
ਰਾਗੁ ਨਟ ਨਾਰਾਇਨ | Raag Nat Narayan
Gurbani (975-980)
Ashtpadiyan (980-983)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਲੀ ਗਉੜਾ | Raag Maalee Gauraa
Gurbani (984-988)
Bhagat Bani (988)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਰੂ | Raag Maaroo
Gurbani (889-1008)
Ashtpadiyan (1008-1014)
Kaafee (1014-1016)
Ashtpadiyan (1016-1019)
Anjulian (1019-1020)
Solhe (1020-1033)
Dakhni (1033-1043)
ਰਾਗੁ ਤੁਖਾਰੀ | Raag Tukhaari
Bara Maha (1107-1110)
Chhant (1110-1117)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
Bhagat Bani (1123-1124)
ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
Partaal (1153)
Ashtpadiyan (1153-1167)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਸੰਤੁ | Raag Basant
Gurbani (1168-1187)
Ashtpadiyan (1187-1193)
Vaar Basant (1193-1196)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਾਰਗ | Raag Saarag
Gurbani (1197-1200)
Partaal (1200-1231)
Ashtpadiyan (1232-1236)
Chhant (1236-1237)
Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
Ashtpadiyan (1273-1278)
Chhant (1278)
Vaar Malaar (1278-91)
Bhagat Bani (1292-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
Partaal (1296-1318)
Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
Chhant (1312)
Vaar Kaanraa
Bhagat Bani (1318)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਲਿਆਨ | Raag Kalyaan
Gurbani (1319-23)
Ashtpadiyan (1323-26)
ਰਾਗੁ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ | Raag Prabhaatee
Gurbani (1327-1341)
Ashtpadiyan (1342-51)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਜਾਵੰਤੀ | Raag Jaijaiwanti
Gurbani (1352-53)
Salok | Gatha | Phunahe | Chaubole | Swayiye
Sehskritee Mahala 1
Sehskritee Mahala 5
Gaathaa Mahala 5
Phunhay Mahala 5
Chaubolae Mahala 5
Shaloks Bhagat Kabir
Shaloks Sheikh Farid
Swaiyyae Mahala 5
Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
Shaloks in Addition To Vaars
Shalok Ninth Mehl
Mundavanee Mehl 5
ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
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Spiritual
Forgiveness
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<blockquote data-quote="Archived_Member16" data-source="post: 111073" data-attributes="member: 884"><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><strong><u><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: seagreen">Steps to Forgiveness</span></span></span></u></strong><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000"> </span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span><p style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong><span style="color: #0000ff">1.</span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">Confront your emotional pain - your shock, fear, anger, and grief. Recognize that the hurt that has occurred may have been very unfair and that these steps are not meant to minimize the hurt involved.</span></span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>2.</strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo"><strong> Realize that forgiveness can only be appropriate after you have processed out your fear, anger, and grief. However, also realize that you can set forgiveness as a goal in the future for your sake now! Recognize that to continue to dwell on the anger and resentment involved in the hurt will literally destroy your physical health, and cause you great mental suffering.</strong></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo"><strong>New studies clearly show that anger and resentment doubled the risk of myocardial heart attacks in women with previous coronary problems. Other studies indicate cancer and other deadly illnesses are also caused by anger and resentment. So be willing, for your sake, to begin to process out these deadly emotions as soon as possible.</strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>3.</strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong> <span style="color: indigo">Understand that love is what you ultimately want for yourself from yourself.</span></strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>4.</strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo"><strong> Understand that forgiveness does not condone or approve or forget the harmful acts; forgiveness does not allow yourself to be abused. We forgive the doer, not the doing. Remembering this helps us to break harmful cycles of behavior.</strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>5.</strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"> <span style="color: indigo">Realize that you are the</span> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: seagreen">only person responsible for your own feelings and for healing the hurt that is going on inside of you.</span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>6.</strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"> <span style="color: indigo">Remember that you are so powerful that usually you had some part in what happened. Be willing to totally face up to that part and accept it</span> </span></span><span style="color: #008080"><span style="color: seagreen">without blame</span> </span><span style="color: indigo">(to forgive and love that part).</span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>7. </strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">See this situation as an opportunity for healing and for growth. See that the other person involved has revealed to you through his or her actions where there was a wounded spot in you which needed healing.</span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>8.</strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><strong> <span style="color: indigo">Start releasing anger, sadness, grief, and fear through the many processes, therapies and therapists available. Have a person to work with who can truly empathize with you, yet who can be objective and help you shift your perception from blame to healing.</span></strong></span></span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>9.</strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #008080"><span style="color: seagreen">Decide</span> </span></span></strong><span style="color: indigo"><strong>to forgive. Even if this decision is half-hearted at first, it will probably lessen your hurt and anger immediately.</strong></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo"></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo"></span><strong><span style="color: indigo">Notice that this decision can be difficult because after you have processes out the anger, resentment and grief, you will have to give up the grudge - the being the "victim", the "being right" and making the other person "wrong". Notice that this is "superior" position which can be used to get a lot of self-righteous attention. Be willing,</span></strong><strong><span style="color: #008080"><span style="color: seagreen">for your sake</span> </span><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">to have the courage to get off that "superior" position.</span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>10.</strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Be willing to find a new way to think about the person who wronged you. What was his or her life like growing up? What was his or her life like at the time of the offense? What were this person's good points up to the time of the hurt? Notice you may not be able to see much good within until you have processed out your anger and/or grief or fear.</span></span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>11.</strong></span></span><strong> <span style="color: indigo">Be aware that being forgiving is a courageous act on your part. It has nothing to do with whether the other person can admit they are wrong. You are forgiving to liberate yourself no matter what the other person decides to do.</span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>12. </strong></span></span><strong><span style="color: indigo">Be willing to do and learn whatever it takes to forgive. Commit to do processes, to read courageous stories of forgiveness, to write in journals, to see a therapist, to do training’s, or to do whatever it takes to heal the wounds involved. Remember these wounds may be deeply tied to past hurts going back to your interactions with your parents. Resolve to follow them through for your total healing, even if it involves years of effort to heal. Remember that you are determined to find the true happiness and joy that true forgiveness can bring to your life.</span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>13.</strong></span></span><strong> <span style="color: indigo">If you believe in a Higher Power, be willing to pray on this problem and to turn to this Higher Power for guidance and assistance in the forgiveness process.</span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>14.</strong></span></span><strong> <span style="color: indigo">Accept the lessons involved in this incident — our lives are laboratories for learning. What have you learned from this event that is invaluable to you? Has some form of attachment to a belief or beliefs a position has caused you the pain involved? What belief or beliefs were involved?</span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>15.</strong></span></span><strong> <span style="color: indigo">See that everything is okay; possibly perfect, as it is now.</span></strong><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>16.</strong></span></span><strong> <span style="color: indigo">If you have the willingness and it is appropriate, seek feedback from the other person by being willing to say "I'm sorry that I did..." (whatever it is that you feel contributed to the problem).</span></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #0000ff"><strong>17.</strong></span></span><strong> <span style="color: indigo">Regardless of what the other person does, work towards seeing them with love and goodness. Know that therefore love and goodness are thus flowing to you for your mental and physical health and well-being.</span></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: #800080"><a href="http://www.forgivenessday.org/steps_to_forgiveness.htm" target="_blank">http://www.forgivenessday.org/steps_to_forgiveness.htm</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: seagreen"><span style="font-size: 12px"><strong>Soul-jyot:</strong> </span><span style="font-size: 10px">In certain cases, it is essential to seek<strong> professional</strong> intervention, even if the other person declines to do so. Keeping an open mind to seek long term solution is never easy. But to recover and maintain proper physical, mental, spiritual, emotional health and acceptable relatioships, there is no other choice in the end. We must not try to be our own physicans or try to hide the problem from friends, family & others. To them you are already a walking sign-board ! Get proper professional help, even though it might be a short term pain, for long term gain (benefits) !</span></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: seagreen"><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><strong>NEVER SUFFER IN SILENCE ALONE ! EMPOWER YOURSELF. REMEMBER NO ONE CAN ABUSE OR USE YOU WITHOUT YOUR "PERMISSION" !</strong></span> </span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color: purple"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Archived_Member16, post: 111073, member: 884"] [COLOR=purple][FONT=Comic Sans MS][B][U][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=5][COLOR=seagreen]Steps to Forgiveness[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/FONT][LEFT][SIZE=3][B][COLOR=#0000ff]1.[/COLOR][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]Confront your emotional pain - your shock, fear, anger, and grief. Recognize that the hurt that has occurred may have been very unfair and that these steps are not meant to minimize the hurt involved.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/SIZE][/LEFT] [SIZE=3][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]2.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][B] Realize that forgiveness can only be appropriate after you have processed out your fear, anger, and grief. However, also realize that you can set forgiveness as a goal in the future for your sake now! Recognize that to continue to dwell on the anger and resentment involved in the hurt will literally destroy your physical health, and cause you great mental suffering.[/B] [B]New studies clearly show that anger and resentment doubled the risk of myocardial heart attacks in women with previous coronary problems. Other studies indicate cancer and other deadly illnesses are also caused by anger and resentment. So be willing, for your sake, to begin to process out these deadly emotions as soon as possible.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]3.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B] [COLOR=indigo]Understand that love is what you ultimately want for yourself from yourself.[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]4.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][B] Understand that forgiveness does not condone or approve or forget the harmful acts; forgiveness does not allow yourself to be abused. We forgive the doer, not the doing. Remembering this helps us to break harmful cycles of behavior.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]5.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [COLOR=indigo]Realize that you are the[/COLOR] [/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=seagreen]only person responsible for your own feelings and for healing the hurt that is going on inside of you.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]6.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [COLOR=indigo]Remember that you are so powerful that usually you had some part in what happened. Be willing to totally face up to that part and accept it[/COLOR] [/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=#008080][COLOR=seagreen]without blame[/COLOR] [/COLOR][COLOR=indigo](to forgive and love that part).[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]7. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]See this situation as an opportunity for healing and for growth. See that the other person involved has revealed to you through his or her actions where there was a wounded spot in you which needed healing.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]8.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][B] [COLOR=indigo]Start releasing anger, sadness, grief, and fear through the many processes, therapies and therapists available. Have a person to work with who can truly empathize with you, yet who can be objective and help you shift your perception from blame to healing.[/COLOR][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]9.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#008080][COLOR=seagreen]Decide[/COLOR] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][COLOR=indigo][B]to forgive. Even if this decision is half-hearted at first, it will probably lessen your hurt and anger immediately.[/B] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=indigo]Notice that this decision can be difficult because after you have processes out the anger, resentment and grief, you will have to give up the grudge - the being the "victim", the "being right" and making the other person "wrong". Notice that this is "superior" position which can be used to get a lot of self-righteous attention. Be willing,[/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#008080][COLOR=seagreen]for your sake[/COLOR] [/COLOR][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]to have the courage to get off that "superior" position.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]10.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Be willing to find a new way to think about the person who wronged you. What was his or her life like growing up? What was his or her life like at the time of the offense? What were this person's good points up to the time of the hurt? Notice you may not be able to see much good within until you have processed out your anger and/or grief or fear.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]11.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B] [COLOR=indigo]Be aware that being forgiving is a courageous act on your part. It has nothing to do with whether the other person can admit they are wrong. You are forgiving to liberate yourself no matter what the other person decides to do.[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]12. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][COLOR=indigo]Be willing to do and learn whatever it takes to forgive. Commit to do processes, to read courageous stories of forgiveness, to write in journals, to see a therapist, to do training’s, or to do whatever it takes to heal the wounds involved. Remember these wounds may be deeply tied to past hurts going back to your interactions with your parents. Resolve to follow them through for your total healing, even if it involves years of effort to heal. Remember that you are determined to find the true happiness and joy that true forgiveness can bring to your life.[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]13.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B] [COLOR=indigo]If you believe in a Higher Power, be willing to pray on this problem and to turn to this Higher Power for guidance and assistance in the forgiveness process.[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]14.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B] [COLOR=indigo]Accept the lessons involved in this incident — our lives are laboratories for learning. What have you learned from this event that is invaluable to you? Has some form of attachment to a belief or beliefs a position has caused you the pain involved? What belief or beliefs were involved?[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]15.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B] [COLOR=indigo]See that everything is okay; possibly perfect, as it is now.[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]16.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B] [COLOR=indigo]If you have the willingness and it is appropriate, seek feedback from the other person by being willing to say "I'm sorry that I did..." (whatever it is that you feel contributed to the problem).[/COLOR][/B] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff] [B]17.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B] [COLOR=indigo]Regardless of what the other person does, work towards seeing them with love and goodness. Know that therefore love and goodness are thus flowing to you for your mental and physical health and well-being.[/COLOR][/B] [/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=#800080][URL]http://www.forgivenessday.org/steps_to_forgiveness.htm[/URL][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=seagreen][SIZE=3][B]Soul-jyot:[/B] [/SIZE][SIZE=2]In certain cases, it is essential to seek[B] professional[/B] intervention, even if the other person declines to do so. Keeping an open mind to seek long term solution is never easy. But to recover and maintain proper physical, mental, spiritual, emotional health and acceptable relatioships, there is no other choice in the end. We must not try to be our own physicans or try to hide the problem from friends, family & others. To them you are already a walking sign-board ! Get proper professional help, even though it might be a short term pain, for long term gain (benefits) ![/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][/FONT] [SIZE=2][COLOR=seagreen][FONT=Arial][B]NEVER SUFFER IN SILENCE ALONE ! EMPOWER YOURSELF. REMEMBER NO ONE CAN ABUSE OR USE YOU WITHOUT YOUR "PERMISSION" ![/B][/FONT] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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