Re: Why Don't Sikh Girls Want To Marry Sikh Guys? Solution.
Intreging as this is, I as an individual have no problems when interacting with non-Sikh women on a non-plutonic level, be they Muslim, Hindu, Black, White, Chinese etc....
It does quite naturally beg the question, what exactly am i doing wrong when i am interacting with Sikh Women?
In all honesty,and after alot of soul searching, I do not believe it is me, as 'my game' is pretty solid all round and i have pretty good dating success with Muslim, Hindu etc... women.
Perhaps the fact that i have been turned down soo many times has had an adverse effect on me? Who knows, Just need to move one really.
I've loved a couple of men from Sikh background. I would again (their choice to leave, not mine). I would have no problem, I have come to realise, with the idea of dating a man wearing a turban. When growing up, I was always attracted to bald guys, I don't know why. Long hair never attracted me. But I have realised with age that things grow on you when you are exposed to them enough. I am still fine with bald guys. I'm not Sikh myself but with a very healthy respect for the religion, if there was a man who was interested in me who wore a turban and had long hair...if he was a kind caring individual who I got along with, I would be fine with it. I would not necessarily stop cutting MY hair as I do not think I would ever "convert" to being Sikh but I'm very very open to going to a gurdwara regularly, adopting many Sikh practices in general, as well as like I say respecting Sikh people, learning about them, the culture, the language, the religion...I find it all fascinating. what I find fascinating partly is how often people talk about the cultures being "different" and yet...really they're so very similar too in many ways. If we all learned a bit more about each other's culture we'd see it more, each and every one of us.
Sadly, it seems there is a fair lot of shame associated in bringing home a gori and not just amongst guys who don't shave. But I know there are decent guys out there who are willing to go above and beyond culture and say "hey it's ok for me to care about someone who isn't Sikh even if I am"...I've met one or two. Obviously they're already taken hahaha. ;-)
One thing that must be understood is that, and i must stress that this is my own personal experience, that men and women look for different things.
Men generally look for Beauty, to sum it up frankly, followed by character traits. Pretty sure guys can fill in this section.
Women on the other hand look for qualities such as Leadership, Dominance, Commanding Respect in all spheres of life, Good sense of Humor, intelligence, ambition, Sexual Awareness (Note Not Someone who sleeps around, though some do like it, but then i am advocating it) and so forth.
This is true, that men and women look for different qualities, but I think likely from your pseudonym you are a guy? ;-) I don't disagree that men go for physical beauty and THEN tend to get to know someone they find appealing where women do almost the opposite. That is where I kind of slightly diverge from your opinion. Some women may look for what you say, others not. I don't care so much about dominance, commanding/leadership at all. I care about friendliness, caring, honesty (that is a BIG one) and not being a control freak (I was married to one of those...not anymore). Seriously, the guy who spends a lot of time showing me how much I mean to him by way of frequent messages, spending quality time together doing stuff you do with good friends...THAT is the kind of guy I end up falling for, and once I am well enamoured with his brain/personality, it's not just that the looks matter less, but additionally, things you might have found less appealing to begin with all of a sudden are MORE appealing, or turn you on. Twist of the head, gap between the front teeth, funny shaped thumb nail...doesn't matter what it is. If you care about the PERSON you incorporate those small details to be "cute" or "attractive" in your view, rather than bothersome. Also, time and again, I find myself second guessing my own thoughts on things and realising my own prejudices sometimes. Case in mind, I always said to myself I would NEVER be comfortable dating someone more than 5-6 years in difference in age from myself. When it happened, with a much larger age gap...all of a sudden, I made peace with it. Some might say I made excuses and rationalized it to myself...call it what you will. It DID bother me to begin with...but I did some soul searching and asked myself WHY it bothered me. One of my best female friends is a very many years different in age than I am and we get along GREAT. Why should it be any differently with a guy? Finally, when I realised my "reasons" were just "excuses", I made peace with it.
Physically - Dress well, Tie a neat turban, Tone yourself, become fit.
Mentally - Study how to 'get' (no other word comes to mind) a woman. Google how to become a player to find a 'dating guru.'
Emotionally -Study the Scriptures, will have a powerful effect on you. Become receptive to what a woman needs, Note not wants.
Is the main goal "getting" a woman in life? What about friendship and companionship? ;-)
I don't disagree with dressing well, in general (except when doing house renovations, gardening, etc. ;-)), getting fit, reading scripture if it suits you, but what a woman needs and what she wants may well be very tightly intertwined. Don't forget women are complex creatures from Venus ;-) and half of the time we don't know ourselves what we want ;-) and certainly no more what we need either. ;-)
Reduce the amount of drivel that is being force fed to you through the TV i.e. Bollywood and Bhangra Videos.
I have accomplished this fine; I don't watch much of anything. ;-) Occasionally go to see a movie, fine, but really, I study (Punjabi of course! ;-)) more than anything else in my free time.
