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Is it a Sin for a Sikh to Marry a Non-Sikh?

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by Nim_23, May 19, 2006.

  1. Nim_23

    Nim_23
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    A friend questioned me on this topic... "Is is a SIN for a SIKH to marry a NON-SIKH regardless on whether or not the Sikh converts to his/her partners religion."

    I hope that we can have an open discussion about this and I can eventually get a right answer to it...

    QUESTION:

    Q1) Is it a sin for a Sikh to marry a non-sikh even though he stays in Sikhism and his partner remains in her religion?

    Q2) Is it a sin for a Sikh to marry a non-sikh and converts to his partner's religion?

    Q3) Any other comments. Open discussion.
     

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    #1 Nim_23, May 19, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2010
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  3. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    "Q1) Is it a sin for a Sikh to marry a non-sikh even though he stays in Sikhism and his partner remains in her religion? "

    i don't think it is wrong but the problem is with the children to whom's religion they will follow.

    "Q2) Is it a sin for a Sikh to marry a non-sikh and converts to his partner's religion?"

    i think this is wrong because you have given up sikhi for your partner

    the answer of your above questions also depend on gender.in india whenever a sikh girl marries hindu boy she also become hindu and children
    follow the religion of their father.similarly whenever when a hindu girl marries sikh boy the girl start following sikhism and children become. sikh
    so the question for marriage outside religion is always easy for boy and difficuilt for girl.because it is always the girl that give up its religion.
     
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  4. Nim_23

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    Thank you for your reply. But I still wonder if it is a sin. I agree with you when you say about the wrong and right part and that is all I can say...but I wonder if it is a sin.

    Yes, a woman will follow the religion of the man she marries. But nowadays there are some who stay the way they are and even give their children two names of both their religion.

    But which will the poor child follow? Will he become a rojak?

    'Rojak' is a food in Singapore which is a mixture of many fruits, sauce, sugar, salt, chillie etc
     
  5. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    " But I still wonder if it is a sin. I agree with you when you say about the wrong and right part and that is all I can say...but I wonder if it is a sin."

    a very difficuilt question.in my opinion if a person give up its sikhi then it is a sin otherwise it is o.k.
     
  6. Jazz

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    WGJKK WGJKF

    Surely it matters not?

    When two persons marry, surely they are closer than any other two? Therefore they can discuss, share, and talk through whatever, and however? Then if this is true then they will find a path to WaheGuru ji.

    I disagree that the child 'automatically' should follow the fathers path, the Mother is equal to the Father in parenthood.

    When the two persons discuss honestly and openly their beliefs and passions, the decision they arrive at, will be true. And as a Sikh, surely thats all we can expect.
     
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  7. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    " disagree that the child 'automatically' should follow the fathers path, the Mother is equal to the Father in parenthood."

    nobody is saying that child should follow the fathers path.but in reality children always follow the father's path.
     
  8. Jazz

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    WGJKK WGJKF

    My comment was not a reflection on anything anyone here had said or not, it was simply a statement on reality.
     
  9. FireStorm

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    If we go by the spirtual definition of a sikh - a sikh will not be able to marry a non-sikh.

    It is just like saying that a Gurmukh marries a Manmukh. However this does not mean that Gurmukh hates a Manmukh - rather a Gurmkuh would influence the Manmukh with his company to become a Gurmukh like himself/herself. Only once the other person has become a Gurmukh can they both marry - otherwise a relationship between both of them is not possible.

    I would reccomend you to joing www.ggsacademy.com and listen to the Katha of sukhmani sahib. The issue (not marriage), but of relationship between a Gurmukh and worldly people (Manmukh) is ncely explained - I belive it is the 4th/5th or the 6th lesson
     
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  10. Rajwinder

    Rajwinder United States
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    Before starting consider sikhism as a way of life rather then a "Religion".

    I will put it in this way:

    1. When we call somebody a "Sikh" that means he/she has understood sikhism and practising the same.

    2. This means his/her thin king and way of life will be greatly (Infact Totally) influced by sikhism.

    3. Now he/she will marry only that person who got the similar thinking.

    Now in practical life when we call some body a sikh then it purely a relative term :

    What I mean is to what extent u follow sikhism is idealy some thing "Discrete" but preactically it is "Analog" for most of the people.

    so people follow sikhism to different extents ( Rather to the extent where they feel comfortable :) ) But not all of them !

    In summary : As per what i know "It is not a SIN in sikhism to marry a non sikh but actually a true sikh will not marry a non sikh."
     
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  11. truthseeker

    truthseeker
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    Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

    As i have said many times... i am mixed. My Parents did not share the same religion and still dont even today.
    As for a Sikh marrying a Sikh being a sin... no one can really answer that question because it is up to Akal Purakh what is a Sin and what is not. We can all come up woth both pros and cons for this topic.
    I will start with the Cons, as the are most obvious.1) Because parents have different religions, they may not have the same values which can cause problems when trying to raise children. 2) The children may feel confused as to not upset their parents when " choosing" a religion.
    3) Because the partners are follwing complete different paths in life, it may be hard to keep a calm and peaceful household, which in turn does not help the children to grow and learn.

    And now the Pros:
    1) The children will beable to learn about both religions, making them beable to really "choose" which they feel most connected to. We must not forget that every religion guides us on a different path towards the ONE goal.
    2) The children will not grow up in a set religion, so once again they have more choice to follow their heart and soul. Many people have said " I'm Sikh, because my parents are" and not because they fell in love with Guru Ji.
    3) The parents will have the opportunity to show their children that every religion is equal, because there are soo many people who tend to think or say things like" My god is better than your god" and other nonsense like that. But with parents of different faiths, chilldren will learn to resepct every religion."

    As we can see, there are both good and bad things about this, but as for it being a sin...

    Wow..sorry that was pretty long, before i finish i just want to say that this is totally just my opinion from what i have personally experiences through out my life.
    Bhull Chuk Maaf Karni

    Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh
     
  12. Nim_23

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    Tell you what friends since we all can tell between right and wrong, pros and cons BUT yet we can't tell whether it is a sin, let me forward this forum page of ours to a person in the gurdwara who may be able to help us clear our doubt.

    Once I get a reply from him/her, I will post the reply here.

    Till then keep posting...:)
     
  13. rsingh

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    Yes! I have been faced with the same question recently from a friend. As an amritdahri Panj give you Hukam to marry a tyar by tyar Gursikh. An amritdharhi can only marry an amritdharhi. How can you marry some one of another faith? You cant have an anand karaj, its not done now but before anand karaj the granthi use to ask the couple if tehy arte both amritdharhi. If not he would ask when they will take amrit and maybe ask some one from sangat to take responsibility of helping the person. If you haven’t taken vows with Guroo how can you commite to some one?

    A Sikh needs another Sikh to help them to over come the tasks that will be thrown at them while on this path. Your rani bane, way of living needs to be the same for you to be able to live a life in harmony. In Sikhi we get married and are seen as one unit you help each other.

    How can a Sikh convert? one wwho has tasted the sweetnes of a nectar which has such an everlasting taste. one who is emuled forever in the colour of gurbani, naam, and Gursikhi jeevan. One who has killed the 5 choor will not convert for anything esspecially not worldly attachements.
     
  14. Madhur

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    It is NOT a SIN for a sikh to marry a non-sikh IF HE HIMSELF DOES NOT CONVERT TO THE OTHER RELIGION AND HIS OFFSPRINGS FOLLOW HIS RELIGION. OTHERWISE ITS A SIN.

    But here are the reasons WHY ONE SHOULD NOT MARRY A NON SIKH OF IT HE DOES WHAT PRECAUTIONS SHOULD THE PERSON TAKE. :

    1. The Sikh should continue to his religion in all circumstances.
    2. He SHOULD NOT at any cost change his religion.
    3. He should persuade his partner to convert to his religion, if possible. Because Mother is the teacher of childrens if she is of different religion the childrens are bound to follow the said religion.
    4. At any cost his offspring should follow his religion.

    Reason : Guru has respected all religions and has advised us to follow our respective religions.

    Thus in the instant questions there are following options one should follow depending upon the rigidity of his partner:

    OPTION ONE : The sikh follows his religion and the partner follows her religion but the offsprings follow the SIKH religion.

    OPTION TWO : The partner to convert to SIKH religion.

    OPTION THREE : The offsprings evenly follow the religion of parents. i.e if there are two children one should follow SIKHISM and the other the other one.

    BOTTOM LINE OF THE QUESTION IS :
    SIKHISM IS ALREADY IN DANGER THE EXISTING SIKHS ARE NOT FOLLOWING THE 5 K's OF GURU GOBIND SINGH. PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE INCREASE YOUR COMMUNITY AND DONT LET IT GOES INSTINCT. SIKHISM IS THE MOST RECENT AND PRACTICAL RELIGION AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT LET IT DOWN AND GET EXTINCT.
     
  15. hps62

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    Our Gurus Preached That We Are All One , The Sikhs , Hindus , Christans , Muslims Are Are All Diffeennt Ways To Achieve The Same One God We Call Wahe Guru.

    It Can Never Be A Sin For A Sikh To Marry A Non Sikh. Rather You Shall Be Rewarded By God For Unifying People Foolishly Divided On A Issue Like God.

    I Am Sure God Will Give You Blessing In Your True Partners.

    Dont Worry For Children They Shall Find There Own Way To God By Many Difenent Ways Sikhi Being One Of Them.


    Nanak Nam Chadi Kala
    Tere Bana Sarvat Tha Bhalla

    Love Hps62
     
  16. versus

    versus
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    It's not a sin. The Gurus taught us that all people are equal in the eyes of God. and all people have their own way of reaching God. Just because we are Sikh does not give us "exclusive" access to achiving salvation with God. Everyone has equal right to reach God and we cannot judge them on their way of viewing God. We are all equal in the eyes of God. Children will find their own way to God just like everyone else. There is no right religion, there is no right way to view God. In the end we are all the same. We are all equal. We can marry whoever we want in God's eyes.
     
  17. dansmith11

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    my question about this topic is this, why would it be written in the "code of conduct" that only a sikh can marry a sikh? It seems to go against everything the religion stands for.

    and yet it says in the Rehat Maryada:

    Anand Sanskar (Lit. Joyful Ceremonial: Sikh Matrimonial Conventions and Ceremony)
    Article XVIII

    (a) A Sikh man and woman should enter wedlock without giving thought to the prospective spouse's caste and descent.
    (b) A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.


    my personal opinion is that it was meant in the literal sense of the word (which means student, or disciple as far as i know, correct me if im wrong). so basically it means a sikh should marry someone who is also a student of god (Trying to find god).

    although in the real word thats not at all how it happens, if your not born a sikh (although i think its something you have to actively want and pursue, i dont think just becuase your parents are sikh you can call yourself a sikh, but i guess thats another debate), and you try and date/marry a sikh, it is BIG problems. I'm in the middle of such a situation right now actually.

    You hear things like, its a disgrace to the family, dont go outside the culture etc. etc.

    In my opinion its a disgrace to sikhism to have such an attitude all the while calling yourself a sikh. How many sikh arranged marriages end with abuse/alcoholism because neither parnter is happy? And yet the VAST majority of "sikhs" view that as acceptable and a marriage between two people who love and respect each other (and god), is viewed as unnacceptable and wrong if one was not born into a sikh family.

    Im fairly confident god would favor a loving supportive marriage between two equal partners more then one where the woman is treated as property and abused and disrepected.

    The very definition of marriage in sikhism seems to be forgetten in favor of a superiority complex where no one can accept someone of a different race/culture/descent.
     
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  18. Arvind

    Arvind
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    This is a great reminder. People born in Sikh religion are first to mis-understand the wonderful principles, hence mis-lead other aspirants. This is a huge generalization I know, but commonly found true.

    I feel comfortable to read the actual thing, instead of looking at the followers, who may not actually know, and may be just doing that as a(n) (unnecessary) ritual!
     
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  19. vijaydeep Singh

    vijaydeep Singh
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    Gurfateh
    This disgarcefull attribute is more due to inroads made by pagan jattism or punjabiism in Gurmat.

    Such thing is more bad to panth then to say influnece of Brahminiam and Hinduism.

    As latter can be seen easyly but former people do not want to see and prefer to close the eyes.
     
  20. Deepinderpaljitpreet

    Deepinderpaljitpreet
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    I think its all love or ability if one can understand asper the time the fist guru went to mecca for huj and after that no guru not even went further to Afganistan. Its all in the books or the system how they flurrish in the religion especially in Brown creed. the sikh from the time of gurunanak to guru gobind maks sikh people suffering the most. the first guru never even think that their followers will fight and after partition when all the memories of firstguru was given to pakistan in charda Punjab. Now its obvious that for followers its hard to learn and practice thier preachings as per the other who are great warriors! So in the end all in the system how they practice love.
     
  21. vijaydeep Singh

    vijaydeep Singh
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    Gurfateh


    Das finds some flaows over here.

    1. First Master did go in many parts of the world but later Gurus(As per Vars of Bhai Gurdas 1st) behold Sikhs as same Guru and did sent Preachers as far as in iraq and often people from west came here to learn about faith(more with Shias).
    As a result we have sipleeds still in Arebia ,who are Sikhs.
    2.Since the time of Fsit Master to this time Sikhs are known for thier brotherhood or frternity.Not only among Sikhs buit for Non Sikhs

    Be it
    Tsunami,Be it Gujrat earthquke or be it Kashmeer Erath quke or be it Kargill,even those Sikhs in west who are agaonst the pseudo secluar system of government in India did sent help to Indian/hindus Brothers,which was more then Indians pooling for themselves.


    Had Sikh been pulling each others leg like hindu brothers do,then Panth may not have survied.

    Best Example is nihung AKJ relation ship.totaly with differnt state of mind yet get united often when there is need for Faith(say to oppse Bakri or Kala Afghana Sahib).

    elaborate with instance if you have that Sikhs are killing Sikhs since First Guru and then only will we consider this statement.
    3.Coming to this thing about Pakistan,if das is correct in Punajbi,it should be west Punjab and that is Lahnda(seting(of sun) ) and not Charda(rising of sun or east).

    Inspite of the fact that there are many Gurudwaras in India realted to First Master,But as Gurmat is nothing to do with place or thier holy ness or worship of object which are created by creator so it is useless for us,It should be more painfull for Hindu Brothers,whose Katasraj ie Birth place of god Shiva is in ruin and still in Pakistan.

    But in most of the Gurudwaras in Pakistan we have a good population of Sikhs,who is taking good care of shrines.in fact some hindus and Muslims ahve cinverted to Gurmat there.

    Then another thing is that like judaisim is parential faith of Christinaity and Christian shrines are looked after well in israel and Chrsitians have no problem over there.
    so simlar realtion we have with Islam.If Muslim is 19 we are plus 2 ie 21 and still 19 is common within us.

    in the line of all figthing semtic faiths who love thier community and want thier God on the top so it is possible that Sikhs may regain Nanakana Sahib,but even then love to universe in which Akal lives will be forever as for us in each atom lives our god and we have to serve the same.

    If some infigthing is there in jatts or punajbis,it is more due to thier pagan influence.And once source of paganism is plugged nothing adverse could happen.:wah:
     

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