SAT SURI AHKAL JI !!!
Hello everyone...I am new here,and I do have a lot of quandaries that I hope this forum can help with. I have been married for 6 years to a Sikh man,and we have 4 children.When I met my husband, I became so in love with him and as well as his culture. All of his family are in Canada,London, and India. Both of his parents are passed away. For the first few years I didn't even know much about his other family members,just his older sister who would talk to me by phone(to this day i still have not met face to face,but still speak by phone).After 1 and a half years of marriage,one day one of my husbands friends had got into an argument over money,and came secretly to tell me "all about my husbands dirty laundry"...such as been married twice before to a white lady here in the states,and one before in London...all didn't "work" out...and so on and so on...Of course this hit me bad..and cause a lot of problems a little while...of which my husband said that he didn't want to lose me with his "past" and didn't want to tarnish his present and future,or be judged by his past. I let that go,and we moved on.O.K.....fast forward 6 years,and 4 kids later...my husbands past catches up with him,and to make a long story short,he is deported back to India,based upon a past of aliases, and paperwork that we couldn't process fast enough due to some financial hardships.So...here I sit with 4 kids no husband,and even though my whole family adores him(and of course met him by now) I've yet to see face to face any 1 family member.Even his family in India,his aunts ,uncles,cousins,Nani, all want me and the kids to come to India to have a Punjabi wedding,when things get better.His family on his mothers side in Canada even offered for me and the children to come to Canada to "take care" of us,until my husband comes home.In my family all I have left is my mom,2 older sister's,1 distant uncle,and a niece. My dad died back in 2005,and all my grandparents are passed away.
And yes I am African -American.So...why do I feel that maybe I'm not respected? Sometimes I feel that I'm not good enough, in that,every time someone gets married in India...all kinds of family members up and run to India for who-evers marriage?Because of this situation,I feel alone,hurt and that maybe I'm wasting my life and my children's life?This all started because my husband never 'legitimately" took care of his paperwork to begin with,but I look over that because I thought it was the right thing to do,and I wanted our marriage to work.Now that I am suffering very,very badly financially,emotionally,spiritually....out of all my husbands family members,I don't understand why 1 person each with $10.00 , $5.00, or whatever couldn't pool together some financial support for me and the kids? I am looking for any and all kinds of work...with the threat of losing my home in a rural country area in Texas going on,losing my car,the only means of transportation here(no buses,shopping et al).
Even when my husband had sat in the Immigration jail from Jan 9Th-May 11Th...I still did all that I could to looking for work,seek help from welfare for food,half of rent utilities,personal items and so forth, and still ON MY OWN start a legal battle with the federal government to hold his deportation,to no avail.I even helped him win a delay in deportation for 3 weeks...but again to no avail. So...I'm pouring my heart out to you guys,because I want to know the top opinion....AM I BEING TAKEN FOR A RIDE HERE? SHOULD I MOVE ON IN LIFE,WHEN I HAVE A FEW GOOD YEARS LEFT?IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I CAN FIND A REAL GOOD GUY OF MAYBE EASTERN/WESTERN MIX THAT WOULD LOVE ME AND MY KIDS FOR US?that is my concern that my children are also Punjabi/Sikh...I don't want them to lose this part of their culture that belongs to them.I appreciate all comments or advise...as I am sick and tired of this....and I want a traditional marriage with someone that respects me and my children,honest,and have the love of God...is this still possible for me after this past/current history?
BLESSINGS TO ALL,
Victoria Singh