Why did God give me a bad life then punish me for making it better?

Sikhboy11 · #1 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 04:37 AM

Hi, I was born into a very poor family, I was born in a poor area of my city, My family then moved to a poorer part of the city where our house was robbed and now we been living on a council estate in another poor part of the city. My father is an massive alcoholic (typical of sikh men these days), and my mother struggles to raise me and 2 brothers. Basically i feel that everything i do to try make my family and my life better, I get punished for. I have sold drugs to earn money to support my family, I've robbed from cars and people to earn money to support my family but this is because where i've grown up, it is very poor! and this is the only way to survive, we cant get jobs cause the rep of the area, we are stereotyped as thugs, and the success rate of my high school was 23 percent, I feel I do everything for people, I lift the world for them yet they do nothing for me and my life stays hell, i feel yet god continues to punish me, I feel I was destined for this hell i live in, I feel love fears me no girl likes me more than a friend and some girls say I scare them because of the bandanna i wear ( dont know how to spell it in indian), I dont always pray but I stay true to god in my heart, I've broken rules such as cut my hair, drank, ate halal, ate beef (not knowing) but i accept these and admit i am not a good sikh but when you live in a society that wearing a bandanna and having long hair is a thing to laugh at, how can you be a sikh in this day and age - dont get me wrong i beat up any one who tries to mock sikhism. I just need someone to tell me that if god knows im suffering then why doesn't he help me, I thought god loved everyone?

harry haller · #2 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 05:06 AM

Sikhboy11ji,

This is only a personal view...

Life is mysterious and works in mysterious ways, you remind me a lot of me when I was younger, a reject from God. Like you I had a very abrahamic view of god, that if I was being good, he would reward me, and if I did bad, he would punish me, and as I felt I was very bad, I was constantly being punished, and there was very little I could do about it, I also felt that maybe in a previous life, I had been even more bad, so it was payback time.

I will address this in an abrahamic fashion, as that may be easier for you to understand what I believe in.

'God', and I use the term in a completely Abrahamic fashion, as this seems to be the God that you have accepted, has no interest in you my young friend, he has better things to do than dream up new and inventive ways to punish you, what you are suffering from is your own inner self fighting back from this punishing existance you are putting yourself through. I too have sold drugs, but I did not kid myself that I was doing it for my family, I think there is a certain element that you are 'bad' because life has hoisted it on you, you need to be a bit more honest than this, I sold drugs because I wanted to be bad, like you, I got a kick out of it, I liked associating with the lowlifes and scum, it made me feel big and important, also, I had failed at pretty much everything good, so I thought I would excel at something, even if it was bad, so I dabbled in things, got into a lifestyle, and like you, towards the end, felt I had no choice in the matter, but then the brain plays tricks with you, tells you that you HAVE to live like this, tells you this is all your worth, but that is not true.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-youth/37634-why-did-god-give-bad-life.html

I have never robbed anyone, from a car or otherwise, but again, the road is familiar to me, you enjoy being bad my friend, and thats ok, if its all you know, but please don't try and convince yourself that its because you have no work, or because its the only way to put food on the table, accept you enjoy the lifestyle for one reason or another, and then try and focus and decide whether you wish to give it up.

God knows your suffering, but he cannot help you, only you can help you, there is no magic formula or ritual that will rid you of these bad ways, you need to understand who you are, what you are all about, what makes you tick, what God did do, was provide you with a toolbox containing many many tools to make your life better, this is the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, embrace Mool Mantra, find the english translation to it, and read it, it is not about ritual, or magic, it is about how to behave on a day to day basis, which, like a diet, if you stick to it, and follow it, you will find your life getting better. Yes, there are quick fixes, many a Sant or a Baba will happily take your money and promise you a solution, but these are crash diets, nothing changes, any relief will be temporary, be honest, be hardworking, make no enemies, have love for your fellow man, and creation,
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37634

Unfortunately it is not very glamorous, and Snoop Doggy is unlikely to write a rap song about it, people will know you for reasons you may find alien, like you are a good friend, a good person, who is honest and hard working, so its probably going to your perception in the eyes of people, including people who are scared of you at the minute, but then its all down to which path you wish to take,

good luck

Sikhboy11 · #3 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 05:14 AM

I understand what your saying and it's good to hear I aint the only one who suffers, but I didn't sell drugs because I wanted to be bad, I sold them because my mother was working 3 jobs, she was having eviction letters every week, But I got out because the world didn't see it from my angle they just thought I was muscling in on their turf, I have never robbed or done anything criminal purely out of pleasure or for a character but I understand why you said it because I know a lot of people do it for them reasons. I suppose god has got better things to do than punish me your right, Maybe If I believe in myself, the world will believe in me. Its just hard to stay optimistic when your life's twisted. For a flower to grow for concrete would be beautiful same for me to raise from the gutter would be. I just feel at this moment of my life. I need hope

Scarlet Pimpernel · #4 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 05:15 AM

Veera Try to help your family without stealing and selling drugs ,otherwise it is stealing and drugs that is supporting them and not you.
Sikh's should not hurt anyone ,that is the highest order,what to eat hardly matters if you do that one.I hope things get better soon,

harry haller · #5 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sikhboy11

I understand what your saying and it's good to hear I aint the only one who suffers, but I didn't sell drugs because I wanted to be bad, I sold them because my mother was working 3 jobs, she was having eviction letters every week, But I got out because the world didn't see it from my angle they just thought I was muscling in on their turf, I have never robbed or done anything criminal purely out of pleasure or for a character but I understand why you said it because I know a lot of people do it for them reasons. I suppose god has got better things to do than punish me your right, Maybe If I believe in myself, the world will believe in me. Its just hard to stay optimistic when your life's twisted. For a flower to grow for concrete would be beautiful same for me to raise from the gutter would be. I just feel at this moment of my life. I need hope

Excellent, We get a bit closer to the problem, I am glad you gained no pleasure out of your 'bad' activities, so already you are a better man than I was,

You sound young, you have plenty of time to avoid the life that is currently being planned for you by your own actions. You say maybe if I believe in myself, you must already believe in yourself to do the things you have done, I have managed to convince several drug dealers to give up, once I had convinced them that drugs were no different to any item that can be sold and bought, and that doing business and paying taxes, was no different to what they did already, apart from the fact that they were spreading good and not misery, which is what drugs do, they make you miserable, so you already have confidence, bravado, guts, intelligence, see these tools the almighty has provided you with, also, I detect a huge sense of what is wrong and right, and devotion to your mother and brothers, I think you do not realise what tools you are holding, you have some pretty good qualities there, you do not need to go down the road of being a young thug to get recognition.

Well, I believe in you, I have read enough to know you are a better man than I was at your age, and if it worked out ok for me, it should work out better for you,

That voice in your head, you know that voice, that you keep making deals with, that you promise to behave like a better person, that voice that will not shut up and nags at you every time you do something bad, well, its the voice of the Guru, in your head, looking out for you, make it your best friend, feed it, do what it wants you to do, live cleanly, honestly, instead of wanting to be a Thug, be a MAN, a proper real man, with honesty in your heart, and trust me, you will believe in yourself again, and the world will respect you for it,

One thing you did not mention is fear, but I know it gnaws at your soul, fear of failure, fear of loss of liberty, loss of face, I can tell you, if you wish how to destroy this fear, so you will never fear again, TRUTH and HONESTY, will destroy any fear, every fear, just try it for a while, if I am wrong, fair enough, but its a small price just to see if I am ever so slightly right

Sikhboy11 · #6 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 05:30 AM

Thank you harry haller, To make a friend out of a stranger is wonderful, Thank you for your support, Your right i am young and i can a lot! I can achieve or shall i say want to achieve, Thank you!

Ambarsaria · #7 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 07:35 AM

Sikhboy11 ji just one comment. You say,

Quote:

I just feel at this moment of my life. I need hope

Veer hope springs from every positive thing you do. Start doing positive and start counting positive. What we also need to recognize at times is that our bad is not the worst there is. Let us look at the following,

You are a great young man to ask for help and share honestly. So you have the beginnings of a great future if you start believing in what Harry veer said in terms of qualities or attributes that you already have. Many a stock brokers are discovered to have similar qualities but may be just shy of the total bad side of things like drugs.

All the best and continue the dialog on your thoughts and report some positives and any areas for improvement.

Sat Sri Akal.

Taranjeet singh · #8 (**permalink**) 21-Nov-2011, 13:21 PM

Hi -sikhboy11 ji
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37634
A winner horse does not know what is a 'win'.
He runs fast when hit hard by the rider.
When we are hit hard......Presume that God has hit us because he wants us to win.

If you feet that you are hit , take it a gift from God as you should also win.It is the time to win.

Navdeep88 · #9 (**permalink**) 22-Nov-2011, 11:56 AM

Sikhboy11 Ji,

I think perception is a big thing. Self-pity, although its kinda comforting at times... just hinders progress. From what is written about God, God is a helper... especially in situations where you are making effort to help others, not a punisher. God does love everyone... through whatever excuse, he sustains us... by some measure of food, shelter and love. Those are his gifts... But we also have a lot of free will. We can sit and lick our wounds... but that doesn't really get anywhere. At the end of the day it's about your own effort. You Choose what kind of life you want.