Who is Marrying Sikh Men?

Hardip Singh · #28 (**permalink**) 13-Jun-2012, 13:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harry haller

Hardipji

These are very definitive comments, but having said that, I would imagine very few 'real' Sikhs , as stated, actually exist, We are all works in progress.

In Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji jee, its said " Sikhi khanoo tikhi waloon nikki". Hard fact, Sir. their are very few true Sikhs (like you) are there.

harry haller · #29 (**permalink**) 13-Jun-2012, 13:22 PM

Hardipji

I have been described using many flowery terms in my life, but I am not sure anyone has ever labelled me a true Sikh before.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-rehat-maryada/33888-who-is-marrying-sikh-men.html

Given my lack of hair/beard and indulgence in inter religion marriage you could be mistaken

dakkuSingh · #30 (**permalink**) 21-Jun-2012, 22:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by harry haller

Hardipji

I have been described using many flowery terms in my life, but I am not sure anyone has ever labelled me a true Sikh before.

Given my lack of hair/beard and indulgence in inter religion marriage you could be mistaken

Mr Harry Haller if you are so into sikh religion , y don't u start keeping a beard and turban. If you have given yourself to lord, What r u afraid of? R r afraid that you might not be accepted by ur family,friends, spouse or children.?
There is a difference between saying a thing and actually doing it.
I have said before, i will say that again, toughest thing sikh religion makes its follower to do, is wear a turban and keep beard. Which is not at all easy.
There is nothing wrong with sikh religion, its most modern and open minded religion. But most of it ardent follower these days are those who don't keep turban or beard.
I don't know whether you people believe it or not, but a bearded and turbaned man will never appear attractive to majority of women of sikh or other religion. In sikh religion where most of the marriage are arranged and skewed sex ratio leaves sikh boys with nothing.
I have seen many of my sikh friends are struggling to find their spouses, even after trying for few years.
So my believe is, a religion which makes it male follower at a great disadvantage at a such important event in his life, is not worth following. If this cant be done then don't force them to keep turban and beard. And dont socially ostracized them. They are human for god sake.

Luckysingh · #31 (**permalink**) 22-Jun-2012, 03:08 AM

Dakkusingh ji, I'm sorry that the beard and turban have given you these negative experiences. s
But in reality, would you really want to be married to someone that judges you on your beard/turban appearance ?
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=33888

I can't really say as I never had beard/turban during my jawani when I came across to females as very attractive. I'm not sure if they would have thought so if I had turban and beard.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=33888
There is no denying, I mean I only have to look around and see the efforts made by Singhs with turbans and perfectly trimmed (5 o'clock shadow) beards.
Why do they go through with all this effort ? - Answer is simple!!!

I don't think the majority of us actually realise thes problems that some sikhs face depending on age and location.

Waheguru

findingmyway · #32 (**permalink**) 22-Jun-2012, 05:38 AM

Surely a woman who judges on beard/turban isn't worth the effort and thinking about! Likewise a man who judges a woman for having kesh isn't worth the effort. People need to stop crying and blaming and start taking responsibility for their own actions. Stand up for what you believe or own the beliefs weren't that strong anyway. Relationships are not worth the sacrifice of who you are

motherlylove

harry haller · #33 (**permalink**) 22-Jun-2012, 14:59 PM

Quote:

Mr Harry Haller if you are so into sikh religion , y don't u start keeping a beard and turban.

strangely enough, this is the first question fellow Sikhs ask me when I talk about Sikhism, I have, several times, grown my hair out with a view to keeping it, but the truth is I do not feel that my insides would match my outside, and that is very important to me, I do not wish to be a false vessel, when the goodness shines through, I have no doubt I will end up with the physical look that I yearn for. Having said that, long hair is no judge of a good Sikh, I know many Sikhs, especially on this forum who have recognised the essence whilst being mona.

Quote:

If you have given yourself to lord, What r u afraid of? R r afraid that you might not be accepted by ur family,friends, spouse or children.?

I have not given myself to the Lord, I am in the process of such, anyone who has truly given themselves, yes I agree, should get baptised and purse the role of a Khalsa.

Lack of social acceptance has never worried me, if anything, being accepted socially worries me more, I have no friends or children, my father is turbanned, my mother keeps her hair, so no problem in acceptance there, my wife has no interest at all in what I look like, whether I have my hair long, and looking like a bearded Krusty the Clown lookalike, or short with a goatee, makes no difference to her.

Quote:

There is a difference between saying a thing and actually doing it.
I have said before, i will say that again, toughest thing sikh religion makes its follower to do, is wear a turban and keep beard. Which is not at all easy.

Your getting bogged down in the hair my friend, forget the hair, concentrate on the Bani, and understanding the Bani and then living it, the hair is irrelevant, once you understand the Bani, and you live by it, and it becomes part of you, you will understand about the hair, and only then will it become an issue, or more likely, a non issue

Quote:

There is nothing wrong with sikh religion, its most modern and open minded religion. But most of it ardent follower these days are those who don't keep turban or beard.

I think you could be correct, maybe its because some with the outward physical appearance feel they have 'done their bit', by looking like Khalsa.

Quote:

I don't know whether you people believe it or not, but a bearded and turbaned man will never appear attractive to majority of women of sikh or other religion. In sikh religion where most of the marriage are arranged and skewed sex ratio leaves sikh boys with nothing.

Maiji would probably disagree with you! Anything different scares people, and what these women may not realise is that people change, no one stays the same, so the person they are marrying may not be that person for ever, may not look like that forever, but then my own personal opinion is that one should be in love with ones partner before marriage, which can of course be hard when it is arranged. If you love someone, you tend not to really care what they look like, love overrides that.

Quote:

So my believe is, a religion which makes it male follower at a great disadvantage at a such important event in his life, is not worth following. If this cant be done then don't force them to keep turban and beard. And dont socially ostracized them. They are human for god sake.

I have to agree with you, forcing and ostracising are not in line with Sikhi

harry haller · #34 (**permalink**) 22-Jun-2012, 15:04 PM

Quote:

I can't really say as I never had beard/turban during my jawani when I came across to females as very attractive. I'm not sure if they would have thought so if I had turban and beard.

I wore a full turban and full beard till 28, was chubby, and my only redeeming feature is that I make people laugh, I do not recall any major problems that the turban caused me with women, several stated that they found it attractive, in fact, thinking about it, the only woman who commented on it negatively, was Indian!, the rest were from the west.

harry haller · #35 (**permalink**) 22-Jun-2012, 15:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by findingmyway

Surely a woman who judges on beard/turban isn't worth the effort and thinking about! Likewise a man who judges a woman for having kesh isn't worth the effort. People need to stop crying and blaming and start taking responsibility for their own actions. Stand up for what you believe or own the beliefs weren't that strong anyway. Relationships are not worth the sacrifice of who you are

motherlylove

Life throws a lot at you, you need to know that your partner is sticking by you for more reasons than what you look like, If someone is going to judge a woman for having long hair, then how the hell is that person going to cope if that woman loses a breast through cancer, or a leg, goes blind, etc., Nabenji stated on another post that Islamic men can remarry if their wives become ill, well women are not commodities, that you can mould and play around with until they become your perfect plaything, such judging is childish and shows strong sense of being fickle, I think the benefits of marrying a strong women with Sikhi in her heart outweigh hugely any physical appearance issues, physical appearances change with time, but a true heart always stays true