Who is Marrying Sikh Men?

Discussion in 'Sikh Rehat Maryada' started by rajneesh madhok, Jan 6, 2011.

  1. rajneesh madhok

    Content Master SPNer

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2010
    Messages:
    513
    Likes Received:
    485
    This thread is redirected from a different thread, entitled Can Sikh Girl Marry a Hindu Boy? The discussion took a turn away from the main topic and began to look at who Sikh women in fact marry. Are they marrying Sikh Men in lesser percentages. Is this a trend toward more inter-faith marriages with Hindus, Muslims, Christians or other faiths.

    The thread begins with quoted material that marks the place where the discussion veered into its new direction. You can track the other discussion at

    http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-rehat-maryada/33861-can-sikh-girl-marry-hindu-boy.html


    Dear Randip ji,

    Your perception is wrong. You will find more than 75% sikh girls married to Hindu boys than Hindu girls to Sikh boys. Kindly make random checking around your house and conclude yourself. The reason I don't know but the fact is that:

    The truth about conversions most Sikhs go on and on about Sikh girls converting to Islam well Sikh girls convert to Hinduism more than Islam,across the world we all know someone who is Sikh girl married to a Hindu or have a relative who has done this.

    Questions we must ask ourselves?

    • Is it expectable in Sikh religion for Sikh girls to marry a Hindu? • Is this all a common Sikh practice or is it done by deception and fraud?

    Is it expectable in Sikh religion for Sikh girls to marry Hindu?

    Answer: No, it’s against the Sikh rehait maryada. As it states very clearly

    Is this all a common Sikh practice or is it done by deception and fraud?

    Answer: yes it is done under false pretences deception and fraud.

    Below is a real life story of a Sikh Girl:


    Amanpreet Kaur Marries a Hindu


    Rajneesh Madhok
     
  2. spnadmin

    Supporter SPNer

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2004
    Messages:
    14,575
    Likes Received:
    19,145
    Re: Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

    rajneesh ji

    I have edited your comments by putting "quote" brackets around the quoted material. It was difficult to tell your thoughts from quoted material. I hope I got it right btw. If not, let me know and I will fix it. Thanks for providing some reference material to ponder. Thanks for citing the SRM. :)
     
    Admin Singh likes this.
  3. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh)
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2005
    Messages:
    4,481
    Likes Received:
    2,740
    Re: Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

    Rajneesh ji

    Almost all the sikh sites have users Which belongs to elite class ,so looking around will bring the facts of elite society of sikhs as there is hardly any participation of middle class
    lower middle class and poor sikhs on sikh sites.Looking around will bring only stats of elite class of sikhs Which is not true.

    From past 15-20 years this issue is coming up.Sikhs Girls marrying Hindu's muslims or other religion.Already sikhs have more young men than women because female foeticide.Now the big question is who is marrying sikh guys? as in 15 years we should have truck load stock of unmarried sikh men if no one is marrying them,but that is not true.
     
  4. Randip Singh

    Randip Singh SPN Sewadaar
    Analyst Supporter SPNer

    Joined:
    May 25, 2005
    Messages:
    2,956
    Likes Received:
    2,945
    Re: Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

    Rajneesh ji,

    I know several Sikh men, (including one Amritdhari) in my social circle that have married Hindu women.

    I only know two Sikh women who have married Hindu men (and even those two men go Gurudwara).
     
    Kanwaljit Singh likes this.
  5. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh)
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2005
    Messages:
    4,481
    Likes Received:
    2,740
    Re: Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

    Rajneesh ji

    I am not twisting the discussion.I am just seeking the statistical explanation.The discussion you are showing me is 10 year old and directed toward Keshdhari sikh men on the other hand It is now an open fact that Very large majority of sikhs live in Punjab and they are now clean shaven.No one even Knows How many clean shaven sikh men marry Hindu or Girls from other Religions as people as sikh community only care about Turbaned sikh men but on the other hand they take all kaurs irrespective of uncut hairs as Sikh women.

    I am again repeating this question if Sikh Girls are marrying outside their faith and Male female Ratio is in Sikhism is not so good then Who is marrying Sikh men?
     
    spnadmin likes this.
  6. savesikhism

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Re: Can Sikh Girl Marry A Hindu Boy?

    Dear Sir,
    Thanks for the reply. Now a quick stating of the facts. You are right that Sikh girls marry more to Hindu boys than Sikh boys to Hindu girls. Now reasons are subjective and depend case to case basis. But believe me if you investigate in more than 95% of cases you will find a fantastic planning on the part of boy and yes the girl already blinded by charm of the boy falls in to the trap laid.
    Now some plain truths please don’t not get angry. Hindu boys go after Sikh girls’ bcz they are extremely beautiful and in majority cases professionally qualified earning handsome salary. Boy have having a perfect plan and execution to perfection succeeds in convincing the girl to marry and many cases you will find that in today’s times parents are supporting because their daughter is too much n love of that boy. But the sinister design in his mind is never known to girl or her family such as after marriage girl completely leaves Sikh religion and start following Hindu religion. Yes sometimes visiting to gurudwara continues. But can anyone answer how many Sikh girls do regular path’s (Japji sahib, Sukhmani Sahib) even after getting married to so called handsome hindu boyfriends???. Not even 1% f the entire population of the girls which goes into inter religion marriage. Believe me if they do they will opposition from their charming Hindu husbands and their families too. What to say about children they will be Hindu too after have a mundan as compared to keshgundan among Sikhs.
    I was surfing other days on the web sites and found shocking stats that over 1500 plus Sikh girls have married into other religions in North America and England. Well a shocking and absolutely shocking revelation. What Sikh elders are doing???But we have a gentleman shredding salt on the wounds. And for the figured in our country believe me figures a will be much much higher.
    Now for the double standards and double speak on the part of majority community. Why Hindu girls refuse to marry Sikh boys or more strictly speaking turbaned Sikh boys? You have mentioned many reasons such as education, thinking and so on. But I will just pin down to 2 major reasons for not marrying. They are 1) Turban, 2) Beard. If any Sikh boy (please read Sikh boy as turbaned Sikh boys) gets rid of these two proud elements then he is easily accepted .Please refer to any cases in your locality you will find them for sure in plenty.
    Well I have just stated facts and reality what I have experienced. If this has pinched anybody then I am not all sorry because REALITY BITES and bites badly SOMETIMES SO MUCH. Thanks.
    Best Regards
    Navjeet
     
    Hardip Singh likes this.
  7. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh)
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2005
    Messages:
    4,481
    Likes Received:
    2,740
    Save sikhism

    In other word you have already predicted slow death of Sikhism
     
  8. savesikhism

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Satsrikaal Sir,
    Let me begin by apologizing for the wrong addressal of the topic to the wrong person. My response was actually for Rajneeshji rather then you. But as you have replied thanks so much for this. As you have stated that slow death of Sikhism I wish to disagree for some reasons and they are:
    Yes that is true that Sikh girls continue to marry in to other religions but there are ample signs around us which gives us reassurance that not everything is finished and they are:
    a) In my home town Kalka there was a kirtan darbar organized and all the leading raagi jathas came. The major point worth mentioning is that this was managed by the young Sikh boys and they did on their own and managed with perfection. Indeed Khalsa flag is flying high and will continue to fly so.
    b) Second point is rejuvenated interest of the younger generation in gurudwara activities and indeed to some extent in daily Nitnem as well. I believe these guys and girls like these will carry our religion forward.
    c) Increased awareness campaigns organized by various religious organizations have led the masses to get themselves in Nitnem thereby attaching them to their faith like never before.
    d) We continue to talk about these girls getting married to other religions but we forget to discuss and remember that there are equal numbers of Sikh girls getting married in their religion only.
    e) Increased awareness among Sikh guys about non acceptability of Sikh jokes. I found on other day on face book another boy stating that he has launched war on Sikh jokes.
    f) Last not but the least but I will contribute my bit. Already I have started teaching my sweet little nephews aged 8 and 10 whenever I get time about lives of our great guru’s.
    So I will request you all reading my comment to please do their own bit. Please do let me know you what you think. Thanks.

    Best Regards
    Navjeet
     
    Hardip Singh likes this.
  9. dakkuSingh

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    6
    these are the facts.

    1) A hindu girl only marries a sikh boy, if and only if he is exceptional. My two cuosin brother are married to an hindu girl. They are not just smart but super smart, intelligent and earning huge sum. Even after this, there was a reservation on the girl family part. I dont have resevation if a sikh girl marries an exception hindu guy. But most of the hindu boys sikh girl are marring these days are average boy, who are their coluges,frm same colg or baniya.

    2) Now take my example,i am turbaned sikh, i have been close to many non sikh girl. They all where interested in sikh religion( evry girl is except sikh girl). i took them to all gurudwaras, spend my whole day with them and after coming so close. when ever i finally propose to them, they all give me the same reason. "their parents wont agree to our relationship".

    3) Sex ration in sikh religion is less among all religions and regions. 750' girl for 1000 boys. And among those 20% or more(conservative estimate, personally more than 50%) married hindu boy.(2005 stats figure will be poorer now)

    4) Now the most shocking thing, I saw my cousin married a hindu boy, she had a brother. Who wanted to cut his hair and was against his sister marrige to a hindu boy. But every one ruled over him saying, its her wish so everyone agreed. But then he said , if she has the freedom to follow her religion y I don't have the freedom not to follow the same religion. and in protest he cut his hair after his sister marriage. His mother stopped talking to him. After three months his mother stopped talking to him, he left the home. That tore their family apart.
    Sad part is same thing is about to happen in my family. I see no hope for this religion.
     
    kds1980 likes this.
  10. Luckysingh

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    1,601
    Likes Received:
    2,709
    I don't think that marriage holds all the hope for religion.
    Marriage issues are more social and cultural with religion being used as bait.
     
    findingmyway likes this.
  11. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh)
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2005
    Messages:
    4,481
    Likes Received:
    2,740
    Urban Sikhs of India are perhaps only few people in this world who restrict their boys much more than girls.If the boy say he wants to cut his hair then all hell broke on him,parents will not talk ,relative will not talk etc and if the girl say that she wants to marry hindu boy and then follow his custom many families do agree with it
     
  12. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh)
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2005
    Messages:
    4,481
    Likes Received:
    2,740
    We. still don't have culture of single unwed mothers so almost 99.9% children comes through marriage in this world.Look at Parsi's inter marriages was one of the main reason for the decline of their population
     
  13. sid

    sid
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2012
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    19
    marriage should and must be based on decision of soul,heart and respect And its aim always should be focused for love,understanding,peace,happiness,prosperity.
    and most important before marriage a very good party.

    so who is giving party????????
     
  14. findingmyway

    Content Master Supporter SPNer

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,667
    Likes Received:
    3,755
    Strange how this thread is all speculation from males about a woman is thinking!!! I don't think beard and turban has anything to do with it. If Sikh men were less hypocritical (gave up alcohol and stopped demanding women shave their legs to make themselves 'pretty' while expecting to be accepted for their own kesh), or treated women with equality (stopped making demands such as give up your own career), and were more respectful in their treatment of women, then women looking for Sikhs who are also Sikhs in their hearts and actions would not be left disappointed.
     
    harry haller and Navdeep88 like this.
  15. dakkuSingh

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    6
    @above :
    I don't think ur from india or u may not be aware of the issue plaguing the sikh community here in india.
    Sikh is not any easy religion to follow. Wearing a turban and keeping beard for 12 hr a day through out ones life is not an easy thing. These hard paced life and cut throat competition who has time for religion or who cares about religion. Religion is inherit from his parent whether he likes it or not.
    Given a choice most sikh boy in india, wont like to wear a turban except those who's shops run on religion. Similarly given a choice most of girl will not marry a turban wearing sikh.
    Assuming some one know to you cut his hair.Can you assure me that your opinion about him wont change, you will treat him as he was treated before.And also by rest of the society. He wont be called cut surd or monna.
    I suggest you to google for the sex ration of girl to boy in india for sikh religion.It shocking the facts. That too a indian gov statistic of 2005 . Now is 2012.

    May be thats y one dosent find many untrimmed turban wearing sikh in punjab, if this keeps up soon here wont be any in other states of india.

    My main point is that, this has become a catastrophic issue for sikh religion in india. If this is not addressed by the elders or other people. You may lose few believers or followers of sikh religion remaining.

    Finally question if sikh religion is so great, how many people from other religion have you seen convert to sikhism in last decade. I can say that at my age of 27 yrs,I have seen only 1 person convert to truban,sikh way of life. and he too was kicked out of his house by his wife and sons and had to live in gurudwara.
    Come out of surreal world, u r not living in an egalitarian society.
     
    kds1980 likes this.
  16. findingmyway

    Content Master Supporter SPNer

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2010
    Messages:
    1,667
    Likes Received:
    3,755
    Not true. There are many of us who refuse to marry a non-turbanned Sikh. All the women in my family (inside India and out) have proved this fact already.
     
  17. Kanwaljit Singh

    Kanwaljit Singh Apache Spark, Scala developer
    Supporter SPNer

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,443
    Likes Received:
    2,130
    From my experience, my parents have to tell me to take off the turban once home. I don't do it before I go to sleep, I can keep on wearing it for 16 hours, only take 'half' of it off before sleep. My turban size has increased from 5 to 12 to my current 18 metres. Nothing is easy to follow if you don't have your heart into it. Most people will find it difficult to write a thank you card if they don't really feel ike thanking!

    No one cares about the religion. It is as simple as that.

    Who would convert? Those who have a desire for spirituality and find some answers missing! And if you are great religion it doesn't mean you will be 'popular'!
     
    Ishna, harry haller and findingmyway like this.
  18. Luckysingh

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    1,601
    Likes Received:
    2,709
    I am sorry, I do have to disagree with most of your concerns. I may not be in India, but I am very well travelled and probably been to more corners of India and the rest of the world than the natives there.


    I feel you are physically or mentally isolated or stuck in a time warp somewhere. The turban is NOT seen as negative or unnattractive to women as you make out, not at all.
    In the very modern western world where I am, there are a number of men not just one's with punjabi blood, that have never had a turban and growing or grown their Khes in order to acquire a turban!!!!
    I, myself am one of these men, that now feel more spiritual and this way inclined.

    You seem to have had some negative psychological experience that is yielding this negative attitude and anger. If this is the case, it will just be a phase that will pass- We All go through similar encounters at times in our lives, they do passover though.

    The people and experiences we encounter are NOT always a global representation, even though we may feel convinced at the time. It's all part of growing up and getting wiser with age.- Enjoy the ride!!!

    Waheguru
    Lucky Singh
     
    Ishna, harry haller and findingmyway like this.
  19. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh)
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2005
    Messages:
    4,481
    Likes Received:
    2,740
    Sorry to disagree with it.The above person has just simply the facts from urban India.Urban India is one of the few places where 90% of young sikh men are turbaned and bearded.And it is more of beard than turban that is unattractive to women.you can read any online survey ,most of results clearly say facial hair are unattractive to women.If you have relatives in Delhi or in any city of India then you can easily hear stories of Sikh parents arranging their daughter's wedding with hindu's because their daughter demand clean shaven man.It is now
    common here don't even surprise us anymore.

    And what their percentage? I can bet young turbaned bearded sikhs are not more than 20-25% in canada.And you have clearly stated the difference.You choose to wear turban of your own choice where in many many sikh families this choice to wear turban or not to wear it is never given to boys this makes them more frustrated.

    Yes experiences are not global ,but experiences of sikhs differ from one part to another.

    Finally I have a question here why as a community we don't want to extend choice of wearing turban on the young sikh men? let them decide whether they want to wear it or not
     
  20. dakkuSingh

    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    6
Loading...