We use really big names for god, not just in sikhi but almost every living religion : most merciful , raheem , rehman, karuna-kar , bhagat vachhal , "bhagta di ot" ,..... , all these names indicating the kind god . Someone who listens to our prayers and has mercy on us. If I am to put faith in religions, that one god has at various times intervened to save the ones who put trust in him. Gurbani even says he took the form of narsingha , so special was prahlaad to him ! He sprouted a spring of water to feed the devotee Ishmael (son of abraham and hagar) in desert while sarah kept running to-and-fro between mountains seeking help / water. ok , we all are not as great as bhagat prahlaad ji or as patient as the prophets/sages , but I don't think he will turn us empty-handed and disappointed if we kept rubbing our noses at his door with dedication in our hearts ...... After all, what did bhagat prahlad had in his heart other than pure sharda for his 'hari' while his father repeatedly kept warning him not to chant 'hari' . And his sharda bore fruit (so says gurbani) . After all, what did bhagat ibrahim (Abraham) had in his heart when his community threw him in fire for rejecting idolatry and accepting monotheism. What possibly other than pure faith in THE ONE ? It is like driving through a pitch dark tunnel with faith that you will see light at the end of it, without any logical assurance of that ever happening. And yet it is this faith in the one, this unconditional "he is there for me, he will protect me as he has forever protected the ones who kept faith in him" which is so missing (and infact rebuked as 'ridiculous' ) Now talking about my own issues : a gay 25-yr old young man living in a country in which all I see is darkness as future, while all the "normal & majority" people around me are enjoying their youth , while mine passes by ! While others enjoying theirs, me questioning mine . I feel self-pity for myself sometimes. But then again , all I see is hopelessness and despair . I don't see any way out. This is harnakash for me, this is the "thirst of ishmael" for me. This is my pain ! my sorrow. What could I possibly do other than put faith him while he puts me through this test , possibly due to my past life sins ? but then again he is also known as 'destroyer of sins' what could a 25-yr old do when he's so disappointed by romance and love-life while everyone else around him are apparently celebrating it to the fullest ? what could he do when he feels trapped and sees no way out. I know I am not making any sense . But faith in god (whom you have never seen, never felt, never touched , ...) make any sense anyways ? How is a god taking a man-lion form to protect his devotee make sense (incident mentioned in gurbani too) ? How is temple rotating to face nam dev ji make any logical sense ? So if I put faith in him persevere and ask him to change my orientation from gay to straight , what do you think will happen ? just asking for inputs, thats it.