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Should I Become A Sikh For Love?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by firesingh, Mar 28, 2016.

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  1. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    Hi Everyone

    I am currently living in Delhi as a Western Expat working in the technology industry and I fell in love with a Sikh woman at work, her family found out about us and her parents want me to become a Sikh prior to marrying her and move in with them, what should I do?
     
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  3. Ishna

    Ishna
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    One does not simply "convert" to Sikhi. I suppose you could outwardly be a Sikh for the sake of saying you're a Sikh, but could you live with yourself like that? I know I couldn't.

    On the other hand, perhaps you just need an introduction to Sikhi. If love for Guru Ji blossoms, and you can give your head to Guru instead of your partner, then everyone's a winner.
     
  4. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    I am seriously thinking of growing my hair and beard long
     
  5. Ishna

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    Why? Long hair and a beard doesn't make a Sikh. Despite how it looks.
     
  6. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    Well its a first step to becoming a Sikh
     
  7. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    run, very fast

    They don't really want you to become a Sikh, they are hardly Sikhs themselves if they feel one can be blackmailed into becoming a Sikh, no, what they want you to do is just say your a Sikh, and look as Sikh as you can so that you do not bring too much shame on the family. However, love is hard even without external complications, just remember, you are living in a foreign country, with a family that is not yours, and your a different colour and culture, which means every disagreement, every issue, you will probably have to bow down on, or face losing your wife and home.

    I would run
     
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  8. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    are you saying that I will not be completely accepted by Punjabi SIkhs?
     
  9. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    What do you wish to be accepted as?
     
  10. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    a fellow Sikh
     
  11. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    no, you will not be fully accepted, but that is the least of your worries
     
  12. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    Well I am cautious, especially when they told me that they would like me to learn Punjabi and only speak it around them and to give up my Canadian citizenship and take up Indian citizenship
     
  13. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    as I said, love is hard at the best of times, flourishing in such an environment is going to make it hard, if you proceed with this idea, you will end up losing whoever it is you are, and being someone who you are not, or just plain broken. No one tells me what to do, No one tells me what citizenship I should have, what language I should speak, what clothes are appropriate, maybe you like being told what to do
     
  14. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    her parents have been telling everyone at their local sangat that I agreed to become a Sikh
     
  15. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    no, you did not agree to be a Sikh, you agreed to follow whatever version of Sikhism this family follows, whatever version has been passed down from fathers knee, whatever version that they deem socially acceptable to them.

    you did not answer the question, do you like being told what to do?
     
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  16. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    not really
     
  17. Harry Haller

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    and what do you sense so far of this situation, is it likely you will have a free hand to live with your love however you see fit, or will you spend the rest of your life after marriage being told what to do?

    what does your gut say?
     
  18. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    I really do not know what to make of it, she told me she only wants to live in India and her father told me that giving up my Canadian Citizenship and taking up Indian Citizenship and becoming a bearded , turbaned Amritdhari Sikh is a symbol of my love for her
     
    #17 firesingh, Mar 28, 2016
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  19. Harry Haller

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    I see, what happens if the marriage fails?
    if there are children, do you think you will have easy access?
    do you know what people of Indian Citizenship are prepared to do these days to obtain the Canadian Citizenship you are thinking of giving up?
    Do you think it is a good idea to become a member of a religion to demonstrate your love towards a woman?
    How do you feel about a man who makes such statements, and how do you feel about being a son to such a man?
    Do you often commit to situations where you do not know what to make of it?
     
  20. firesingh

    firesingh Canada
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    what do you mean by "How do you feel about a man who makes such statements, and how do you feel about being a son to such a man?"
     
  21. Harry Haller

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    how do you feel about a man who makes the statement

    that by giving up my Canadian Citizenship and taking up Indian Citizenship and becoming a bearded , turbaned Amritdhari Sikh is a symbol of my love for her

    do you know anything about living with Sikh In laws? you do realise that if you are living with them, that you will have to defer to them as you would your own parents?

    have you actually thought this through?
     
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