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Anjulian (1019-1020)
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ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
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ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
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Gurbani (1197-1200)
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Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
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ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
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Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
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Gurbani (1352-53)
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Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
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ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
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Relationships
Love & Marriage
Relationship Advice: My Boyfriend's Family Makes Me Feel Inadequate
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<blockquote data-quote="Ambarsaria" data-source="post: 142198" data-attributes="member: 14194"><p>Star Girl welcome to SPN. Great uplifting handle.</p><p></p><p>If you are both Sikhs it would appear that there will be one less hurdle.</p><p></p><p>In terms of "Boy's" parents (I will explain later on why I call him "Boy"),</p><p></p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px">They always make me feel inadequate and say things like a doctor should be with a doctor or someone in the same <span style="color: Red"><u>“salary band”</u></span> I just can’t understand this concept as I know my mum would be happy with me being with anyone no matter their profession as long as im happy. His parents have said with my salary I wouldn’t provide him a happy future and when it comes to<span style="color: Red"> having children I won’t financially contribute</span>.</span></span><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Red">"Salary Band"</span> is very blind way to look at Humans. It shows ego and vanity. There is no need for you to speak to it yourself. <br /> </span></span></li> </ul> </li> </ul> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px">- For you to speak to it will be insulting for you and his parents, so you need to stay mum.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px">- It is your Boyfriend's job to address this!</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px">- <span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px">"Manner's Band and Human Values Bands" are lot more important.</span></span> </p> </p> </p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: Red"> "..having children I won’t financially contribute"<span style="color: Black">. Wow that is one silly comment that I never heard before. So they see no value to the life you bring in to this world! Life is priceless. Ask someone who lost a child.</span></span></span></span></li> </ul> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px">- For you to speak to it will be insulting for you and his parents, so you need to stay mum.</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"><span style="font-size: 12px">- It is your Boyfriend's job to address this!</span></span></p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> </p> </p> </p><p>The crux of the matter,</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">If your boyfriend is not going to take a stand and grow up from "a Boy" to "a Man", all bets are off,<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He may not love you as much as you think!<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">That can happen when one is more enamored than the other party.</li> </ul> </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He needs to address this upfront and with respect himself.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">You state he is a Doctor (I assume medical), that is very puzzling unless he is a mama or papa's boy. If so he always will be mama or papa's boy.<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">He should discuss this with his parents that if they are not willing to allow him to make some fundamental decisions and respect these that it could lead to everyone's unhappiness.</li> </ul> </li> </ul> </li> </ul> </li> </ul><p>On more positive note, there are lot of Happy couples with unhappy in-laws and vice versa.</p><p></p><p>I wish you happiness and "<em><span style="color: Red">let it be</span></em>" a little bit and don't pay attention to everything said. Some things are said to provoke reaction and the best approach is to "not give any reaction". Silence can be golden, however I fully understand it can be tough at times.</p><p></p><p></p><p>All the best and "<em><span style="color: Red">Don't sweat the small stuff</span></em>".</p><p></p><p>Sat Sri Akal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ambarsaria, post: 142198, member: 14194"] Star Girl welcome to SPN. Great uplifting handle. If you are both Sikhs it would appear that there will be one less hurdle. In terms of "Boy's" parents (I will explain later on why I call him "Boy"), [LIST] [*][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]They always make me feel inadequate and say things like a doctor should be with a doctor or someone in the same [COLOR=Red][U]“salary band”[/U][/COLOR] I just can’t understand this concept as I know my mum would be happy with me being with anyone no matter their profession as long as im happy. His parents have said with my salary I wouldn’t provide him a happy future and when it comes to[COLOR=Red] having children I won’t financially contribute[/COLOR].[/SIZE][/FONT] [LIST] [*][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=Red]"Salary Band"[/COLOR] is very blind way to look at Humans. It shows ego and vanity. There is no need for you to speak to it yourself. [/SIZE][/FONT] [/LIST] [/LIST] [INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]- For you to speak to it will be insulting for you and his parents, so you need to stay mum. [/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]- It is your Boyfriend's job to address this![/SIZE][/FONT] - [FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]"Manner's Band and Human Values Bands" are lot more important.[/SIZE][/FONT] [/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][INDENT] [LIST] [*][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3][COLOR=Red] "..having children I won’t financially contribute"[COLOR=Black]. Wow that is one silly comment that I never heard before. So they see no value to the life you bring in to this world! Life is priceless. Ask someone who lost a child.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/LIST] [INDENT][INDENT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]- For you to speak to it will be insulting for you and his parents, so you need to stay mum. - It is your Boyfriend's job to address this![/SIZE][/FONT] [/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]The crux of the matter, [LIST] [*]If your boyfriend is not going to take a stand and grow up from "a Boy" to "a Man", all bets are off, [LIST] [*]He may not love you as much as you think! [LIST] [*]That can happen when one is more enamored than the other party. [/LIST] [*]He needs to address this upfront and with respect himself. [LIST] [*]You state he is a Doctor (I assume medical), that is very puzzling unless he is a mama or papa's boy. If so he always will be mama or papa's boy. [LIST] [*]He should discuss this with his parents that if they are not willing to allow him to make some fundamental decisions and respect these that it could lead to everyone's unhappiness. [/LIST] [/LIST] [/LIST] [/LIST] On more positive note, there are lot of Happy couples with unhappy in-laws and vice versa. I wish you happiness and "[I][COLOR=Red]let it be[/COLOR][/I]" a little bit and don't pay attention to everything said. Some things are said to provoke reaction and the best approach is to "not give any reaction". Silence can be golden, however I fully understand it can be tough at times. All the best and "[I][COLOR=Red]Don't sweat the small stuff[/COLOR][/I]". Sat Sri Akal. [/QUOTE]
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Relationship Advice: My Boyfriend's Family Makes Me Feel Inadequate
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