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Question About Forgiveness

Discussion in 'Sikh Sikhi Sikhism' started by pancake, Apr 15, 2013.

  1. pancake

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    Apr 15, 2013
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    Hello everyone,
    I'm new on this forum. I have recently started doing the morning prayers and sometimes Ardas. I had a question about forgiveness.

    At the moment i'm going through a very difficult time because I have cut off the relationship with my dad and two sisters. There have been many times in life where I have been humiliated, verbally and physically assaulted by my sisters. They insulted my husband too and speak anything that comes to mind.
    I have always been taken advantage of and was literally kicked out of the house at a vulnerable time. My dad is favouring my sisters regardless of their behaviour. Dad only called to borrow money/get work done.

    I couldn't possibly explain everything that they've done but I am so hurt. My heart is full of tears. Even when i pray i feel really upset.

    I have decided to never visit that house again because they shout abuses at me. If i meet my mum its at my place or in public.

    My question is, how many times can you keep forgiving the person who has wronged you? I know forgiveness is important but i don't want to be a doormat and be treated badly over and over again.
    • Like Like x 3
    #1 pancake, Apr 15, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2013
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  3. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Jan 31, 2011
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    your doing fine, what you feel is not a lack of forgiveness, it is a huge feeling of pain and hurt.

    You sound like you have made the right decisions, and you are aware of the potential to be taken advantage of, if I were you? I would focus on acceptance of the situation and deal with it as per Bani. Do not be a doormat, stand up for yourself, but be compassionate and understanding.

    From what I can read you already are, your doing fine, just accept the situation and the fact you can do nothing about it, and get on with your life, interacting where you can.

    Good Luck
    • Like Like x 3
  4. findingmyway

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    Writer SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Aug 18, 2010
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    Pancake ji,
    Firstly a warm welcome to SPN :welcomekaur:

    Please remember this is a public forum so all posts will be based on personal experiences and biases. It sounds like you have been through a very traumatic experience and I strongly suggest you seek professional help to deal with your emotions.

    Here is another thread on forgiveness. Different background but I think a lot of what was said would apply to you too. Please take care of yourself, physically, emotionally and spiritually
    • Like Like x 2
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