I had to go to court yesterday, to request judgement in a business matter. I dressed my normal way, curry stained T shirt, well worn shorts, 1 white sock, 1 black sock, completed with boots tied together with half a lace. I have not had a haircut for 7-8 weeks, so my hair is growing, except for the bald spot in the centre. My beard looks like a mad pirates. Whilst waiting, I happened to sit next to a well dressed businessman, Armani suit, rolex watch, matching socks!. I noted his look of arrogance, ego and pride. Eventually, I saw the judge, although my attempt at friendly greeting 'hi judge' was met with an unemotional face. We chatted for a while, him like a judge, me like his best friend, and soon the gavel dropped and judgement was pronounced in my favour. Later that night, in bed with wife and animals, I mentioned the days events, in particular the businessman, I mentioned his look of ego and pride, and the sheer arrogance of the man. My wife remarked that ego and pride can be hard to conquer.I have, I stated. My wife looked at me , are you sure?. Yes, of course, I replied, No, she said, you and the man sitting next to you were one and the same. You have not conquered pride and ego, all you have done is embrace the negatives of both, not the opposites. What is the opposite of pride and ego, she asked me, humility, I replied, you are no worse than the people you have told me about that rub ash on themselves to make themselves look holy and good. Go look in the mirror and tell me if you see humility, so I did. Ok humility did not come to mind when I saw the image looking back at me. My wife had stood behind me, what you see my love is anti pride and anti ego. You have the same feelings that pride and ego bring, superiority, arrogance, but you find it in your anti pride, and anti ego, not in your humility. In fact, the man sitting next to you is actually better than you, as he is being honest about who he is, you think you are, but you are not. So, I have not conquered pride or ego, the same feelings that well up in others, also well up in me, but in the wrong direction,. I can also add being judgemental to my list of current flaws. It makes you ask just who is in charge of this vessel! I feel like a third world country being exploited by a dictator in the pursuit of short term gains. The clown will have to die now, he has been exposed for what he is. A personality with no ego and pride is a boon, but one with pride in no pride, and egoistical feelings about having no ego, surely thats worse.