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Muslim weds Sikh

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by OneRab, Aug 2, 2013.

  1. OneRab

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    Aug 2, 2013
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    Greetings everyone!

    This topic has been here for a while but I need more advice. Please assist.

    My story is very typical. I am a muslim girl in love with a sikh boy.
    I am not very religious but you could say that I am spiritual. Also I am very fascinated by religions and have read almost all the holy books of various religions including the Sri Guru Granth Sahib (in english though)
    I have many sikh friends and atleast once a month I am invited for Sunday Langar at the Gurudwara and I am there.
    I know the basics about Sikhism and to me the Sikh holy book and the teachings of Guru Nanank Dev Ji all make sense to me. I agree with it.

    I know there are clashes between these two faiths, one of which is a misunderstanding and I would like to clear it. "Sikhs being called ***** in the holy Quraan" according to the Quraan and Prophet Muhamad, a ***** is somebody who doesn't believe in god or believes in multiple gods. The first thing I learnt about sikhism was Ik Onkar (one god) in that case a sikh is not a *****. Also refering to when Guru Nanak ji went to Saudi Arabia, and the people of Saudi questioned how can a disbeliever be permitted to enter the holy city and the same reply was given i.e. This man is of the sikh faith and they believe in the oneness of god so he is a believer and he is not a *****.

    coming back to my story, so my boyfreind and I have been together for 3 years now and we plan on getting married next year. We have decided that non of us need to convert our religions, there will be two weddings (Nikaah at the mosque and anand Karaj at the Gurudwara)
    During sikh festivals and functions, I have no hesitations to go to the temple, and during muslim functions he has not hesitations to come to the mosque.

    I have even met his mom, she wasn't really happy at first but later she has agreed as long as her son is happy. My mom has met him too, at first my aim was to show my mom what a nice man he is and not to focus on our religious differences. My mom does agree that he is a nice person but wants him to become a muslim. He and I both can go to the mosque and gurudwara with the feeling that we belong here since we have the belief (in my findings, i found that the basics of islam and sikhism are very similar)

    So, my problem is how do i go about convincing my mom. The rest of my family have all met him and hung out with him and are truly very happy for me.
    I know that we will always have to carry the labels of marrying a person of different faith and any tips or advices on that would also be helpful.

    also, how do i show his mom and aunties that i mean well. I would like to fit in the family, but some traditions may be different. Offcourse we are all indians so some traditions are the same. I want to create a bond with my MIL to be before the wedding. How do I go about?

    Please advice.
    Much thanks
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  3. Kamala

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    May 27, 2011
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    Maybe you shouldn't have had invited your own problems like that?

    Would you really trade your whole family's happiness for you for one guy?
  4. Taranjeet singh

    Taranjeet singh India
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    Oct 21, 2009
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    Our cultural heritages are poles apart and lot of efforts would be required to bridge the gaps. Personally speaking I find it a proposition not worthy of further follow up. You may carry on as good friends. I , as a sikh, shall never visit a mosque, may be that is what I have not learnt here in India. I may ,though, bow inside me to Allah who is also waheguru. Personal opinion , of course.

    Wishing you all the best!
    #3 Taranjeet singh, Aug 3, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2013
  5. Luckysingh

    Luckysingh Canada
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    Writer SPNer

    Dec 4, 2011
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    I sense that your family have some sort of mental vision or expectation that he shall become/convert to islam !!
    This seems to be the most probable factor of why they will accept you both as being a couple.
    What if this never happens in the foreseeable future ??

    You should both really think about what you both want and what you both plan and let both families know rather than ignoring the issue.
  6. Ishna

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    On hiatus
    Writer SPNer Contributor

    May 9, 2006
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    OneRab ji, sorry I can't help you with the cultural aspects of your question.

    However I'm curious about how you feel about not marrying a Muslim man, when it's quite important in Islam for you to marry one? :whatzpointkudi: The question of him being ***** or not is not relevant to you because you're a woman - only a Muslim man can marry women who aren't Muslim if they are Jewish or Christian.
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  7. findingmyway

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    Writer SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Aug 18, 2010
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    Moderation note: Thread moved to love and marriage section which is more appropriate.
  8. palaingtha

    palaingtha India
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    Aug 28, 2012
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    Islam treats every Non-Muslim a ***** as being a Non-Muslim he is not a believer of Mohamed as a Prophet. It is not as you say as per Muslim belief "One who believes in Oneness of God is not a *****." Non-believer in Prophet Mohamed is a *****.
    Muslim males marry Non-Muslim girls with the belief that when he converts a Non-Muslim he is assured Bahisht (Heaven). Conversion is the main issue of a Muslim male marrying a Non-Muslim, except some solitary cases.
    Since the two religions in question are poles apart in religious aspects it is feared that the marriage will not work. Even when cultures are at variance in people of same religion clashes erupt due to such differences until one of the marriage partner gives in to the whims of the other.
    It is advisable that people having different faiths do not go for wedlock.
    In Sikhism we do not solicit persons of other faiths to renounce their original faith and join Sikhism, but anybody converting to Sikhism voluntarily is always welcome. We Sikh believe that if you are Christian be a good one at that and if one is of some other faith he be loyal to his faith and a good follower at that.
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