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Love, Marriage?

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by taV kaur, Nov 18, 2008.

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  1. taV kaur

    taV kaur
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    ssaji...i m a 21 yr gursikh girl.. i'd like to know what guru granth sahib ji tells us about true love b4 marriage?

    i am a firm believer of sikhism...

    PS : there is absolutely no physical thing involved in my relationship...its a 7 yr old pure love relation.! and i feel completely blessed to have such a partner. We both have same belief system.
     
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  3. Astroboy

    Astroboy Malaysia
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    ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
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    Tav Kaur Ji,

    It is truly a blessed love which is beyond the five passions of the mind. However, as humans we have innate instinctive desire to have a physical relationship with the opposite sex.

    ਪੰਨਾ 153, ਸਤਰ 5
    ਜਿਹਵਾ ਇੰਦ੍ਰੀ ਏਕੁ ਸੁਆਉ ॥
    जिहवा इंद्री एकु सुआउ ॥
    Jihvā inḏrī ek su▫ā▫o.
    The tongue and the sex organs each seek to taste.
    ਮਃ 1 - [SIZE=-1]view Shabad/Paurhi/Salok[/SIZE]
     
    #2 Astroboy, Nov 18, 2008
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  4. Astroboy

    Astroboy Malaysia
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    ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
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    However, the older we get this sexual drive diminishes and the following as per guruvaak can be achieved.

    ਪੰਨਾ 274, ਸਤਰ 6

    ਇੰਦ੍ਰੀ ਜਿਤ ਪੰਚ ਦੋਖ ਤੇ ਰਹਤ ॥
    इंद्री जित पंच दोख ते रहत ॥
    Inḏrī jiṯ pancẖ ḏokẖ ṯe rahaṯ.
    who conquers his sexual instincts and is free of the five sinful passions -
    ਮਃ 5 - [SIZE=-1]view Shabad/Paurhi/Salok[/SIZE]
     
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    #3 Astroboy, Nov 18, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2016
  5. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    There is nothing wrong in it.Its good you have found your love
     
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  6. Randip Singh

    Randip Singh
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    well good for you! :happy:
     
  7. Perdip

    Perdip
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    Sat Sri Akaal Ji

    Dasme Paatsha said... Jis ne pyar kiya, us ne Prabhu nu paya. One who experiences True Love has felt the love of God, words can not explain what you feel, same way they can not explain Gods greatness.

    I have not read all SGGS, but get the message from Guru ji that accepting Gods Will i.e. what ever happens accept that as Akaal Purkhs Hukam, whether good or bad and never waiver and strive to do good deeds.

    You are most fortunate and make the most of this love by using it for praying also :wah:

    Good luck and God bless
     
  8. arshdeep88

    arshdeep88 India
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    Its upto the couples and the parents ,if they are agreeing on the issue then no problem..go ahead

    i dont think there is any prohibition or any on love marriage nor i think on such issues guru granth sahib ji says anything
    if there are then i am sorry to say i haven't come across such
    about marriage it do says about one thing that "those are only husbands and wives
    who have two bodies but one soul"

    but problem is most of the people go ahead in relationships thinking of it to be true love or so but when it comes to bear patience with each other they fall apart and then blame each other that the other never loved him/her truly


    but what TRUE LOVE is?
    some writer says its like a GHOST ,everyone has heard of it but nobody has seen it (kidding)


    and pardip ji i disagree with your statment that dasam pita said jisne pyaar kiya usne prabhu ko paya(jin prem kio tin hi prabh payo)
    i dont think dasam pita was referring to love between man and woman rather he was talking about selfless devotion ,love and sacrifices for almighty god ,divine love rather than love between man and woman
     
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  9. offbeatstork

    offbeatstork
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    I really do not know more about SIkh, but i become curious about it after I have read this post. I have known that it preaches a message of devotion and remembrance of God at all times. When it comes to love and marriage, usually the parents look for their match of their son or daughter and this is based on the culture they do have. The Sikh marriage is not merely a physical and legal relationship for them but it is a holy union between two souls that are united as one.
     
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  10. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    which is why all talk of multiple wives that the Gurus allegedly had makes no sense whatsoever
     
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  11. Harkiran Kaur

    Harkiran Kaur Canada
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    I would say of course it's ok to marry someone you love! To marry someone you don't love at all, I can't see how that spiritual union could ever happen anyway, making the whole point of anand karaj pointless. Think about it... you are placed side by side with someone you have absolutely no feelings for emotionally... how can two people that feel that way (no feelings for each other) lay together and make a child? A child should be brought into the world through love. Also, how can two people create that spiritual bond between themselves as partners for life and on the same spiritual journey if they do not care about each other?

    Yes, Sikh parents help find a suitable match, but the couple must both agree... and if they don't have any feelings (you know, that 'click' just isn't there) then they should not agree because in my opinion, for the spiritual aspect of anand karaj to happen, its not merely the ceremony that makes it happen... it's the connection that the two share... and it just can't happen with two people who do not love each other as husband / wife. For all intents and purposes, a forced arranged marriage, or even one based purely on 'ticks in the box... career, wealth etc, and not on love and caring) then they can do anand karaj all they want, but the actual spiritual union still won't happen. It's not some magical ritual.

    I simply could not marry someone I did not love. Because it would feel like a friendship (at best) and not a marriage. And I could never... you know... with that person so kids would be definitely out of the question. How could that ever result in a spiritual union? So I think both needs to be there... the will of both partners to make the commitment in front of SGGSJ, and their love for each other that causes the spiritual union to happen. And if it's true, that marriage would never be broken.

    So I think 'arranged' marriage is a misnomer... arranged in the sense that someone helped to find suitable matches, but it is still up to the two people to decide if they 'click', if they have feelings etc.
     
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