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Lack Of Female Participation In Discussion

Apr 4, 2007
934
29
Kelly ji

PLease don't think that all indian women are so oppressed.condition of indian women is different
in different families.I myself grew up in joint family where women were quite influential even more then men.


you seem to have missed a very important sentence in my post. i'll repost it, maybe this time it will have more meaning. :)

"this is only a generalization, yes, there are many exceptions."

:)
 
Apr 4, 2007
934
29
Bullies, as DrKhalsa says, are an issue. Women, and this not about culture, will walk away from a fight most of the time, unless the problem is very important.


agree, bullies are certainly an issue i've run into online... being female and also being non-punjabi means i get a double dose from them. :) i think those women who know how to walk away are probably more intelligent than i am. i have the bad habit of fighting for things that are not worth it. :)
 

deepsingh87

SPNer
Jun 3, 2007
93
18
agree, bullies are certainly an issue i've run into online... being female and also being non-punjabi means i get a double dose from them. :) i think those women who know how to walk away are probably more intelligent than i am. i have the bad habit of fighting for things that are not worth it. :)


LOL, online bullies.
 
Apr 4, 2007
934
29
LOL, online bullies.

yes, it seems quite silly... until someone takes your pictures and manipulates them, posts your home phone number, address, etc, along with disturbing false allegations, in an attempt to get you to leave a site.
(i have a cyber-stalker who is hell bent on making my life miserable... all for the crime of being a white sikh)

at that point, one usually stops laughing.

there are some sick and disturbed people out there in "cyberspace", and they usually prey on women rather than men for some reason. a lot of women fear this type of retaliatory behavior and do not get involved in online discussions.

unfortunately, i'm not as smart as they are. :)
 

Sherab

SPNer
Mar 26, 2007
441
20
USA
I (male) would enjoy a beauty and style.. i love looking at, and buying and selling bangles... :)

PS. i do not wear them, i give them to friends who are girls that might enjoy them.
 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
yes, it seems quite silly... until someone takes your pictures and manipulates them, posts your home phone number, address, etc, along with disturbing false allegations, in an attempt to get you to leave a site.
(i have a cyber-stalker who is hell bent on making my life miserable... all for the crime of being a white sikh)
Its a kind of news to me !

I never imagined that Sikh disscusion group can also attract such Psychoes

Dear Kelly Kaur ji I dont know if it gives you some comfort but I would like to share that being doctor in traning I have worked with Such Psycho personalties and most of them are themselves suffering and ill and seriouly are in need of treatment so any thing they do cant be taken personally and there had been many incidents where such Psycho have follwed there Doctor home with a gun !
so dont take them personally they just represent unhealthy part of our society

Jatinder Singh
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
43
INDIA
kds ji

Thanks for pointing this out -- having servants. In the US if you can afford help just one day a week, it costs a lot, and we serve the servants. They call the shots.

So now there must be other reasons, some of which have been mentioned. I will have to think about this more. And I am wondering, as Kelly Kaur and also Begum have mentioned -- there are sites where younger women participate. So why not SPN. Wasn't female participation a strategic goal for the forum a few months ago?

Regards!

Once i read on muslim forum that a muslim was saying that how foolish western women are, they do jobs outside and they also cook,clean and look after home and kids.and they call it liberation and we have defined laws where a man brings home income and a woman look after home.

Anyway as other forums are concerned ,i regularly read comments on sikhnet and the situatiion is very much similar majority is punjabi men and 2-3 western sikh women.i have even remembered the names of those western sikh women as they are quite regular who give very useful advice to others.but on the hand very few and not so regular punjabi sikh women.actually this topic was disscused on sikhnet earlier but took a bitter turn later.
That's why i thought why not start this topic on spn.
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
43
INDIA
yes, it seems quite silly... until someone takes your pictures and manipulates them, posts your home phone number, address, etc, along with disturbing false allegations, in an attempt to get you to leave a site.
(i have a cyber-stalker who is hell bent on making my life miserable... all for the crime of being a white sikh)

at that point, one usually stops laughing.

there are some sick and disturbed people out there in "cyberspace", and they usually prey on women rather than men for some reason. a lot of women fear this type of retaliatory behavior and do not get involved in online discussions.

unfortunately, i'm not as smart as they are. :)

Is that cyber stalker is a so called sikh?
 
Apr 4, 2007
934
29
thank you doctor ji for confirming my suspicions. :)

i try not to respond to the attacks except with gurbani. what else can one do?

the point wasn't to focus on my incident though. :) i only meant to show that many women often feel more vulnerable to such attacks and so are more careful who they talk to about what online.
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
43
INDIA
yes. emphasis on the "so-called". :)

I am really sorry but for this our media and proper understanding of western countries is responsible.Indian men just think that western women are very cheap.You can just use them for sex as free sex is not taboo for them.and after that just dump them and marry a decent indian girl.There are many so many sikh girls who have their on
punjabi sites but they never complained about this problem.
 

deepsingh87

SPNer
Jun 3, 2007
93
18
yes, it seems quite silly... until someone takes your pictures and manipulates them, posts your home phone number, address, etc, along with disturbing false allegations, in an attempt to get you to leave a site.
(i have a cyber-stalker who is hell bent on making my life miserable... all for the crime of being a white sikh)

at that point, one usually stops laughing.

there are some sick and disturbed people out there in "cyberspace", and they usually prey on women rather than men for some reason. a lot of women fear this type of retaliatory behavior and do not get involved in online discussions.

unfortunately, i'm not as smart as they are. :)

Why would you give your personal info to some stranger online, it doesn't matter if he or she is a sikh.
 
Apr 4, 2007
934
29
Why would you give your personal info to some stranger online, it doesn't matter if he or she is a sikh.

i wouldn't, but thanks for the advice. :)

information like phone numbers and addresses are readily available over the internet for free. even more info (criminal records, marriage and divorce records, social security numbers, etc) can be had for a small fee.

i suppose i could avoid using my name at all online, but then i'd feel like i was trying to hide something, and i have nothing to hide. :)
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
DrKhalsa ji

You should never have told us you were single. Now I have this obsession -- to play Cupid. It is embarrassing but I cannot help myself. Now my eagle eye will be quietly scanning everyone I know to see what can be done about your situation. Cannot mind my own business. You can reprimand me. I deserve it. Marriage is a very good thing.
 

spnadmin

1947-2014 (Archived)
SPNer
Jun 17, 2004
14,500
19,219
kds ji,

Back to the topic. Sorry. Your observation,
Anyway as other forums are concerned ,i regularly read comments on sikhnet and the situatiion is very much similar majority is punjabi men and 2-3 western sikh women.i have even remembered the names of those western sikh women as they are quite regular who give very useful advice to others.but on the hand very few and not so regular punjabi sikh women.actually this topic was disscused on sikhnet earlier but took a bitter turn later.

An idea, just an experiment. In another discussion group which I belong to there are several Sikh women in the Punjab and also of Punjabi descent but in other countries. I will ask them what they think rather than come up with my own theories. It might be interesting also to do a poll on SPN, but the problem would be -- How to restrict answers to female members only. Maybe forum members could come up with a few ideas about this.

Another thing that just came to mind -- at my gurdwara -- people in general, men and women, are kind of suspicious of the Internet. Hard to put into words, but that could be another factor. As in, Why would anyone spend time on the Internet? Nothing better to do? Which is a good question.
 

kds1980

SPNer
Apr 3, 2005
4,502
2,743
43
INDIA
Another thing that just came to mind -- at my gurdwara -- people in general, men and women, are kind of suspicious of the Internet. Hard to put into words, but that could be another factor. As in, Why would anyone spend time on the Internet? Nothing better to do? Which is a good question.

As far as time arguement is concerned i think we should leave it to just indivisuals.On site like ffi.org i have seen people writing 20 -30 big posts in single day and they have doing it for years.so many people do spend much time on internet.
 

Astroboy

ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
Writer
SPNer
Jul 14, 2007
4,576
1,609
I don't know why, but I have a feeling that women's communicative assertions is viewed suspiciously by men. Men's tendency to rule and have the final say, increases women's vunerability to attacks thus driving them away.

Men cannot (no way) treat women like boys. They are a part of us, without them we cannot survive but we have neglected to keep ourselves informed about how to treat a woman. Equality is another thing.

Most of us here don't even know how to talk to a woman. Look at the remarks you guys leave behind. It's like a bitter pill to swallow.

Sorry boys, this time, I am siding the women. Bring the women in, let them have their own threads, and don't go messing up their small haven with an outpour of 'powerful words'. There's nothing powerful about such words. Instead they only reflect the state of our mind.

Kds Ji,

Thanks for bring up this topic, I'm sure we're all learning to allow our minds to open up a bit.


~ Santokh ~
 

drkhalsa

SPNer
Sep 16, 2004
1,308
54
ou should never have told us you were single. Now I have this obsession -- to play Cupid. It is embarrassing but I cannot help myself. Now my eagle eye will be quietly scanning everyone I know to see what can be done about your situation. Cannot mind my own business. You can reprimand me. I deserve it. Marriage is a very good thing.
__________________

There is no question of Reprimanding you . Infact where I would find such learned Sikh Matchmaker. I feeling lucky instead
thanks for you r concern


Jatinder Singh
 

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