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I Just Wanted To Say Sorry

Discussion in 'Hard Talk' started by Seeker2013, Mar 3, 2016.

  1. Seeker2013

    Seeker2013 India
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    I have been on this forum for a number of years now. However some 6 months back I had acted rashly with the members. I was (and still am) very frustrated with my sexual orientation (I am gay which you all probably know) . Unable to cope with it and its ramifications in my life (and still can't properly) and the resulting frustration and depression, I had lashed out at a few helpful members of this forum which is perhaps one of the best sikh forums in the cyber world.

    Keeping with the divine spirit of forgiveness, nobody lashed out at me in return.

    My deep Sorry . I had acted rude and mean. Please keep this place a warm place. thanks
     
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  3. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    I am also frustrated by my sexual orientation, I happen to be a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

    No one here cares about your sexual orientation, but its nice to see you grow
     
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  4. Joginder Singh Foley

    Joginder Singh Foley United Kingdom
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    WGKF-WGKK

    We all occasinionaly lash out It happens to the best of us learning to control ones anger is part of the process of being a Sikh or any other kind of decent human whatever path you follow

    :winkingsingh:
     
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  5. Seeker2013

    Seeker2013 India
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    It is easy to make those kind of jokes when you belong to the greener side of the garden .
     
  6. Admin Singh

    Admin Singh
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    What makes you think you do not belong to the greener side?
     
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  7. Seeker2013

    Seeker2013 India
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    I hope this does not sound like heterosexual bashing because thats not what I am doing

    From a heterosexual (your) view point :

    Imagine living in a country where your love has no recognition, the govt , the family, the law, the society don't take you seriously and ridicule you. When you're only given option to marry someone of the same sex in which you're not interested. When parents pressurise you to marry same sex ? it doesn't sound particularly pleasant does it ? and to make things worse, the only way you can live life to fullest is getting in some other country which is not easy.
    no , your whole life is shaken !

    Someone rightly said "being a minority means not only being oppressed and reduced in human rights, but also being told what you should feel offended and bad about !"
     
  8. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    apologies for my above statement, I appear to be wrong.
     
  9. Seeker2013

    Seeker2013 India
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    don't apologize . We all are privileged in some way or the other and don't really realize it . We take things for granted . I have two working hands which I take for granted. Ask an amputee what they would do just to get their hand back.
    Same way heterosexuals take for granted their easy accessibility to access of marriage and all the acceptance and 'majority'-ness !

    However this realization does little to relief me of the pain and anxiety that comes with living as a gay man in a society that rewards straight men and shames gay men and women for being who they are . Call it patriarchy or whatever
     
  10. Ambarsaria

    Ambarsaria Canada
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    Seeker2013 ji thanks for your post. I believe you don't have to post it but in your inner heart you probably know why you think you are gay.

    Not wanting to get married to a woman in itself does not make someone gay. Not liking conjugal or sexual relationship with women does not make you gay. Not going through traditional marriage does not make you gay.

    I don't know where you are in your resolution of conflicts within and without, but in many ways you may not be very different from many heterosexuals. If you want serious steady enduring relationship with the same sex; that is the only thing that may be different from traditional heterosexual world. If all you want is sex with another man playing the role of a man or a woman till you get tired of it, then it does not make you gay either as many heterosexuals lose interest in sex over time. So you got to find a lasting value that will sustain you, I don't think sexual activity will. What you lead to; be it heterosexual relationship or homosexual relationship, I have no business to know or advise on.

    Just sharing some thoughts.

    Sat Sri Akal.
     
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  11. ActsOfGod

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    Hahaha what's happening to you harry, you're losing your touch!
     
  12. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    read it a bit more carefully, dig a bit deeper, you will see I have not,
     
  13. ActsOfGod

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    What's the matter with you? The OP already knows he is gay. What are you hoping to accomplish with the above?
     
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  14. Tejwant Singh

    Tejwant Singh United States
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    Seeker2013 ji,

    Guru Fateh,

    Awareness, realisation, understanding and acceptance are the examples SGGS, our only Guru is filled with. There is nothing to feel sorry because we are all faceless here but your frustrations come from the real interaction in the world or lack there of. One thing you have to come to grips with is that no one chooses one's sexuality and when it goes against the norms of the society, denial seems like a mild and defensive reaction of many which is a norm for them.

    India is a strange country where we accept and give space to khusras, hijras, devdassis for the honchos of the temples who are married. In other words the latter practice bigamy/polygamy as their god given right.

    Although gay marriage is legal in the US now, but laws can not change people's mindset borne out of fear of the white man with a long beard with an ipad noting everything down of everyone.

    Your path is full of hurdles. I hope you have enough strength to overcome this steeple chase of life in order to find happiness within no matter what.

    Good luck in your journey.

    Tejwant Singh
     
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  15. ActsOfGod

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    Mocking, or making light of the OP's situation by joking about being a lesbian trapped in a man's body? Might be all fun and games for you, but you're seemingly trivializing the OP's very real plight and suffering. I wonder what you call that, living the teachings, being "witty", or whatever you like.

    Since you're so fond of copying definitions from dictionaries for the dim-witted like me, here's a word you ought to look up: empathy.

    [AoG]
     
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  16. ActsOfGod

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  17. Ishna

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    This line of discussion should move to PMs. It's heading off track.

    Thanks.
     
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  18. Seeker2013

    Seeker2013 India
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    Even when I am away from the forum, I am often reminded of one quote of one of our members here , who had posted this in one of my threads a few months back

    I also sometimes google verses from the quran sharif , because I believe ultimately all scriptures whether quran , SGGS or gita , all are same words of god in different languages .
    One day I came across this verse:

    "Remember me, I will remember you" - Quran 2:152.

    I liked it , full of love. So I try to remember waheguru , so that waheguru remembers me

    I still have "miracles" in my life on daily basis. God never ceases to surprise me. Things happen which almost sound like god saying "Hey kid, this was your plan. This is mine plan, even better. Things don't always happen your way, I hope its clear to you now"

    Day before yesterday , I had to go to client location with an expensive biometric device. I had bought the device from the office day before evening but forgot the plug at office itself. So had to pick a rickshaw to get there in the office first and then headed to client's office. What would have costed me a mere 100Rs ,costed me 600 plus !

    I was kind of sad. at the end of the day, when I reached home, my father gave me a pocket money of 5000 . God speaks through such small things that happen in our lives .
    He took something less from me and gave me even more better

    Yesterday , it was satuday, the boss was not in sight. So I felt I should leave a hour earlier than what I do. At the same time, hoping the boss doesn't spot me or worse question why I am leaving earlier. Little did I knew he would greet me with a smile at the ground floor and give me a lift in his car to my nearest bus stop .

    God never ceases to surprise me . The current job i have, I had not even prepared for the interview , was without any experience and with a four year gap in my resume . Wasn't even prepared for the technical round , but whatever 2% I had read, all interview question came from that2% and before I knew it, I got selected . Later I came to knew, a sikh man was already working in the company and he worked so well, boss assumed same about me and I was hired in split second .

    Gurbani says "Tum hi kaaran karan" (You O lord are the cause behind all causes).
    He makes 'sanjog' for us even when we don't know what will happen

    Another beautiful verse from the quran

    "And whosoever fears Allah, He will create for him a way out. And He will provide for him from where he doesn’t expect." - Quran 65:2-3

    I don't know what my future is, it seems all bleak right now , but I try my best to keep my faith in him and all that he has said via scriptures and I trust in him that he will help me make a way out of this.

    "Sagal ki chinta jis man maahe, tis te birtha koi nahe" (He in whose hearts is care for all beings , nobody returns empty-handed from such god)
     

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