I am sorry if any of you feel annoyed that I am starting a new thread based on an old topic , but this times its more about me being scared like never before ! Incase this is my first post you are reading , I introduce myself . I am 23 yr old male living in india metro city . Ofcourse I come from a sikh background . A 23 yr old youth is usually joyous because of the future prospects and because of his age of romance but I feel ruined and thats because I am not having a convention sexuality . I am not at all attracted to women but to men . Thats the problem . But this problem doesn't end here . Because its not jst about sex . Its much more beyond that . Its about which gender I am naturally drawn to form better emotional relationships . I am jst like any other person in the sense I too desire a normal family life , happy with wife and kids but HOW ? how can I be happy with a woman when there is no love for her , no emotional bonding , no desire . It would be like living a prison ? Thinking about my future makes me depressed . Sometimes I try to cheer myself thinking I will marry a conservative , rural area girl (you know how they are , unlike the advanced women of urban) and live a faithful life with her , but the thought of spending rest of your life feels terrorizing . It feels you have been cheated , that this is a BLUNDER ! But thoughts of whether I will have to spend my life all alone is also terrorizing . But there's not much prospect even if u accept urself . gays are only 5% of population . And most of them are more into sex than relationships . Finding a gay partner is like finding a needle in a big haystack ! And the fear of Sexually transmitted diseases is also a valid one So , you can imagine now , how it feels , atleast thats how I feel There is no peace in rejecting urself , no peace in accepting urself . The tensions and depression is starting to affect my life because I really can't help but keep thinking about this and keep getting more depressed . Do you think there is any relief from this torment or is god punishing me for something ?