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Happiness Is Not An Aeroplane, It Is Hukam

Discussion in 'Sikh Sikhi Sikhism' started by Harry Haller, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    Gurfateh

    A few months ago, I realised that my happiness seemed to ebb and flow depending largely on external circumstances. Food made me happy, Sex made me extremely happy, not worrying about bills, closing the shop, having enough money, I was literally an aeroplane being handed over from airport to airport. I would take off on one happiness, find it running out, and then look madly for another airport to land at, and then refuel with another happiness, take off again, I was constantly looking for refuelling points, my whole life, my whole day was spent checking what airports were close by, some times, I planned badly and ended up crashing into the most awful depression, at which point it would take a major airport to get me back in the air again. To be more happy meant having more airports, more refuelling points, more hold space for emergency fuel, in the end, I crashed, and decided I was not taking off again, then Alfie, my dog became ill, terminally, and it effected me hugely, not in the sense that I was losing him, but the effect on my wife, she handled this huge loss, the last link to her dead mother (Alfie was her guide dog), with much dignity, instead of focusing on his soon to be demise, she busied herself with making the most of the time left, yes, there was some sadness, but on the whole, she kept in Chardi Kala, and she kept the dog in Chardi Kala too.

    This affected me hugely, she did not need airports or refuelling points, she just got on with it and found happiness where she could, and if she could not, she would turn any situation into a happy event, her happiness seemed to come from something deeper, something more consistent than mine, in the end, I asked her, how do you do it? Like every answer to every question I have asked her on subjects similar, she gave the same answer "I don't know"
    This time I pushed her, and she thought and replied " You are too attached to everything, you know what makes you happy, and you have closed your mind to everything else. "

    So, I decided to ground my happiness aeroplane and follow my wife's lead, I ate simply, I enjoyed her company rather than the physical act, I stopped thinking about sex, food, I started spending more time with Alfie, the ferrets, Dan, Virgil, the dog and cat, I started cooking more, cleaning, walking, yesterday we sat and watched the Moon, it was a crescent, it was beautiful, it was the sort of beauty that anyone could enjoy, anywhere, my wife made sure that one day a week, I immersed myself in all the things I used to enjoy, but this time I was not waiting for them, I enjoyed them, I had good food, (and severe indigestion), a few beers (and heartburn), but frankly I missed the floating of happiness that my life had become, every day was happy, every day was potential for peace, I did not feel like I was being passed from pleasure to pleasure, my wife finds this easy, I realised that happiness was in fact following Hukam, I did not realise how easy it was until I put my trust in it, it is also at this point I realised how many non Sikhs are more Sikhi than Sikhs!

    I wanted to share this with anyone who is not happy, or whose happiness is dependent, its easy, just follow Hukam, you will know when you have it, as you will not feel like an aeroplane! lol

    kudihug
     
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    #1 Harry Haller, Feb 27, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2012
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  3. Awakeand Singh

    Awakeand Singh United States
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    "I wanted to share this with anyone who is not happy, or whose happiness is dependent, its easy, just follow Hukam, you will know when you have it, as you will not feel like an aeroplane!"

    ... and, hopefully, you won't test positive for Bi-polar Syndrome!
    :grinningsingh:
     
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  4. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    do I look like a bear that swings both ways??????

    lol lol lol lol
     
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    #3 Harry Haller, Feb 27, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2012
  5. Singh12

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    Maybe you have a deficiency of 'good mood' neurotransmitters in your brain, deficiency of Serotonin (contentness hormone), Dopamine (Reward hormone, which you seem to be unconsciously trying to stimulate, doing 'rewarding' things such as sex, seeing lots of money, seeing no bills to pay, gives a shot of dopamine in the brain)

    whereas your wife may have an abundance of these neurotransmitters and gaba in the brain, enough so that she doesn't have to try to do things that unconsciously stimulate the 'mood hormones' production.

    also means that she could have better coping skills in stressful situations as the abundance of the neurotransmitters won't get depleted easily in stressfull situations

    Poisonous Mercury in Vaccinations and silver dental filings can have this effect in the brain. only one of the many things tho
     
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    #4 Singh12, Jun 18, 2012
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  6. Luckysingh

    Luckysingh Canada
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    Happiness is not an aeroplane, Happiness is a cigar called hamlet:interestedmunda::grinningsingh:
    (remember that classic ad ?)
     
  7. Archived_Member16

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    [​IMG]

    10 Steps to Happiness and Emotional Fulfillment

    Psychology Today - Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.


    We all want to feel happy, and each one of us has different ways of getting there. Here are ten steps that you can take to increase your joie de vivre and bring more happiness into you life.

    1. Be with others who make you smile. Studies show that we are happiest when we are around those who are also happy. Stick with those who are joyful and let rub off on you.

    2. Hold on to your values. What you find true, what you know is fair, and what you believe in are all values. Over time, the more you honor them, the better you will feel about yourself and those you love.

    3. Accept the good. Look at your life and take stock of what's working, and don't push away something just because it isn't perfect. When good things happen, even the very little ones, let them in.

    4. Imagine the best. Don't be afraid to look at what you really want and see yourself getting it. Many people avoid this process because they don't want to be disappointed if things don't work out. The truth is that imagining getting what you want is a big part of achieving it.

    5. Do things you love. Maybe you can't skydive every day or take vacations every season, but as long as you get to do the things you love every once in a while, you will feel greater happiness.

    6. Find purpose. Those who believe they are contributing to the well-being of humanity tend to feel better about their lives. Most people want to be part of something greater than they are, simply because it's fulfilling.

    7. Listen to your heart.
    You are the only one who knows what fills you up. Your family and friends may think you'd be great at something that really doesn't float your boat. It can be complicated following your bliss. Just be smart, and keep your day job for the time being.

    8. Push yourself, not others. It's easy to feel that someone else is responsible for your fulfillment, but the reality is that it is really your charge. Once you realize that, you have the power to get where you want to go. Stop blaming others or the world, and you'll find your answers much sooner.

    9. Be open to change. Even if it doesn't feel good, change is the one thing you can count on. Change will happen, so make contingency plans and emotionally shore yourself up for the experience.

    10. Bask in the simple pleasures. Those who love you, treasured memories, silly jokes, warm days, and starry nights: these are the ties that bind and the gifts that keep on giving.

    Happiness and fulfillment are within your grasp, but sometimes just out of reach. Understanding what works best for you is the first step in finding more of it.

    source:
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog.../10-steps-happiness-and-emotional-fulfillment
     
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    #6 Archived_Member16, Jun 18, 2012
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  8. TruthSatnaam

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  9. Searching

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    Poisonous Mercury in Vaccinations and silver dental filings can have this effect in the brain. only one of the many things tho
    
    When one contemplates about life and ways to keep happy one does not start to think about neurotransmitters but they think about coping with different situations in way that suits them.

    Or people would have had silver fillings in all their teeth to be happy.
     
  10. Singh12

    Singh12
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    I meant mercury MESSES UP neurotransmitters in the brain, eg. puts them out of balance causing a deficiency
     
  11. Archived_member15

    Archived_member15
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    My dear brother Harry Haller ji kudihug

    "...The soul that does not attach itself solely to the will of God will find neither satisfaction nor sanctification in any other means however excellent by which it may attempt to gain them...There is no spiritual path more secure than that of giving yourself entirely to God...The will of God has nothing but sweetness, grace, and treasures for the surrendered soul...When God lives in the soul, it should surrender itself completely to His providence...When God lives in the soul, it has nothing left of self, but only that which the Spirit imparts to it moment by moment...Let us go, then, let us run and fly to that ocean of love by which we are attracted! What are we waiting for? Let us start at once, let us lose ourselves in God, even in His heart, to become inebriated with the wine of His charity. We shall find in His heart the key of heavenly treasures...There is no passage that we cannot discover, nothing is shut against us, neither the garden, nor the cellar, nor the vineyard..."

    - Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675 - 1751), French Jesuit priest and Catholic mystic



    That was an excellent post!

    I totally get the airport imagery, in fact I remebered when reading it that it was precisely that metaphor which I used in another thread, in this post: http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/164288-post11.html


    I wrote:


    "...Prayer is not an affair of the mind. It is a movement of one's whole being. As long as we talk to God vocally or indeed in our head alone, He remains something external too us and our thoughts will continue to whirl about like airplanes flying in the air. We must create an airport within our hearts for these thoughts to land and dissipate, so that all of our attention can be focused upon the Divine Will. Our focus must descend into our heart, so that our prayer is real and authentic and not a mere repitition of meaningless words..."
     
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  12. ravneet_sb

    ravneet_sb India
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    Sat Sri Akaal,

    Happiness is state of mind

    Peace leads to happiness,
    and
    peace comes through wisdom,
    when one's leaving man made intelligence, and
    adopt's "GURU's BANI" as practise of life.

    Vivekanand "Vivek" or "Wisdom" leads to happiness


    Murkhanand "Murkh" or "Ignorant" "Zero" Intellegence" leads to "happiness"



    Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
    Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh
     
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