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Forced Marriages

Discussion in 'Arts & Society' started by Admin Singh, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. Admin Singh

    Admin Singh Administrator Staff Member Administrator SPNer

    The issue of forced marriages has been traditionally treated with hesitation by governments, for fear of offending cultural sensitivities.

    But more information about the nature of forced marriages and a clearer understanding of cultural values has brought the subject under governmental scrutiny, and in November 2008 laws to prevent forced marriages and protect the victims of forced marriages came into force in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

    Forced marriages are not the same as arranged marriages.

    An arranged marriage is performed with the full and free consent of both parties and is still the chosen practise for many people all over the world.
    Forced marriages are a result of cultural factors, and no major religion in the world advocates forced marriages.

    A forced marriage is a marriage conducted without the consent of one or both parties, where pressure is a factor.

    In 2000, a government working group to tackle the issue of forced marriages emphasized the important distinction between forced and arranged marriages.
    "The tradition of arranged marriage has operated successfully within many communities and many countries for a long time and remains the preferred choice of many young people.Working Group: Forced Marriages - 'A Choice by Right', June 2000​
    Although it is not known exactly how many people each year are forced into marriages, in the first nine months of 2008, the UK's Forced Marriage handled more than 1,300 cases in which there were concerns someone was about to be forced into marriage, or already had been.

    Hannana Siddiqui says: "There is a whole spectrum of pressure placed on young girls ranging from subtle, emotional pressure or harassment, threats of violence, abduction, rape and even murder."
    A number of young people are often tricked into going abroad, but when they arrive, are forced into marrying someone pre-arranged by the family.
    However, some parents do not realise that forcing someone to get married is unacceptable, and it is this cultural trend which has in the past prevented the authorities from getting involved.

    This is further complicated by some families not realising that they are putting undue pressure on the young person involved, as it is regarded as a normal part of their culture.

    But Mike O'Brien, Minister for Racial Equality, stated in 1999 that "The government must respond sensitively to the issues of cultural diversity, but multicultural sensitivity is no excuse for moral blindness."

    Forced marriage affects men and women from all over the world, and across many cultural groups. The British Royal Family even has a history of it, as did many members of the British aristocracy in the past. It is important to understand that it is not limited to just a few cultural groups, although it does usually affect women who are of South Asian origin.
    Most victims are young women between the ages of 14 - 25, but only those who are aged 16 and over get married in this country. Girls who are much younger are sometimes taken to other countries and made to marry whilst there.
    Men can be victims too

    Men are also affected, although information for this is even more limited than for women, due to underreporting. Men are not always subject to the same cultural expectations as women, so the number of forced marriage instances for men is much lower.

    Attached Files:

    Gyani Jarnail Singh likes this.
  2. Randip Singh

    Randip Singh Moderator SPNer

    "Men are not subject to the same cultural expectations as women"

    Likewise I could say:

    "Women are not subject to the same cultural expectations as men"

    I really hate the Cr*p about how its women in the Asian culture that are under the yoke and for men it is sweetness and light.

    The expectations for men and women are different, period, regardless of culture.

    Let me give you an example:

    My wife went out late the other night. I come back late sometimes too. Yet the worry for my wife by my family when she is out is immense. When I am out late people are worried but not as much.

    Is that inequality? or a rational worry that a female is more vulnerable?

    Other examples and expectations on me:

    -I have to be the main bread winner
    -I have to look after my parents
    -I am expected to continue the family line (whether I want to get married or not)
    - I am expected to up hold family honour
    -I am expected to stand up for family memebers (whether I like confrontation or not)
    - you are not expected to discuss emotions but keep them inside
    - you cannot cry
    -you cannot ask for help

    ........the list goes on and on and on. The pressure on men is immense, and that is why suicide rate in men are generally higher.

    Why Women Are Less Likely Than Men To Commit Suicide
    High female suicide rates: ecological fallacy or sad reality? -- Salib and Tadros 190 (3): 273 -- The British Journal of Psychiatry

    I know its not as simple as this, but as soon as we acknowledge we are different, but at the same time equal, the better!
    dalbirk and Admin Singh like this.
  3. spnadmin

    spnadmin Well-Known Member SPNer

    randip ji

    The article did acknowledge that
    "Men can be victims too

    Men are also affected, although information for this is even more limited than for women, due to underreporting. Men are not always subject to the same cultural expectations as women, so the number of forced marriage instances for men is much lower. __________________"

    The information on it is limited. Yet, on this forum there have been many an example of a man who expressed his distress because of the impact of choices made for him by others -- the pressure is enormous.
  4. Randip Singh

    Randip Singh Moderator SPNer

    Sorry Narayanjot ji, I am blowing off steam. Just a bit sick of some of the portrayals of Indian men in the media:

    We are greasy, fat, ugly, wife beating, alcoholic, chauvinistic morons, who are mummy's boy's.

    People like Gurinder Chaddha do not help. Her films are classic examples of Asian women the victims and Asian men the bad guys or plain moronic.

    The reason why I wrote what I did is because me and a friend were talking just about this, so I was heated up anyway. :p
  5. spnadmin

    spnadmin Well-Known Member SPNer

    randip ji

    No problem. But if those lies were true, then why are so many women running after Indian men?

    Cheers to you and your firend. It is OK to blow off steam. :welcome:
  6. harbansj24

    harbansj24 Well-Known Member SPNer

    In this day there are no fixed labels that you can give to man or women based on individual examples.

    In context of Indian cultural melange the variation is a bewildering kaleidoscope.

    You have strong Matriarchal societies in Kerala and North East to very strong Patriarchal societies in Punjab and Haryana.

    And based on simple observation, the exceptions to the rule even in these groups is large.
    spnadmin likes this.
  7. kds1980

    kds1980 (previously Kanwardeep Singh) SPNer

    I have a question here
    If parents of a girl tell her that if she does not marry a guy of their choice then she will be disowned.Here the marriage is considered as forced or arranged? If it is considered as forced then what can law do in this case? Parents have rights too disowning children

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