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Equality between Men and Women in case of Inter-Religious Marriage

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by searcher, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. searcher

    searcher
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    Hi all,
    I bring this new thread just to know how equal we think men and women are. I know there might be thread related to the equality between the two genders but not in concerned with marriages.
    We say, men and women are equal in every fields of life. Women are far more better than men as they simultaneously take care of the home and their professional life.
    Now what it has to do with relationships ?
    We see in case of inter-religious marriage, mostly women convert themselves to the religion to that of their husband. Sikh/Hindu/Muslim women marrying men from different religion converts to the religion of their husband, may it be Sikh,Hindu or Muslim. Not many men do that. I read posts where few men are willing to do that but in that case people call them fools as they are giving up their religion to marry a girl. Every coin has two faces. We are seeing only one that they are giving their religion to marry a girl outside their religion. Why don't we look to the other face of the coin that they Love their partner so much that they are ready to take this step. If we can't appreciate their effort, lets not make fun of them by calling them fools. I don't know how many of you(especially men) will agree with me but if women can convert themselves to the religion of their husband then why not men.
     
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  3. Randip Singh

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    If a Sikh man or woman is willing to give up their love of the Guru so easily, then I would not call them fools, but weak. They obviously do not have the Chardian Kalan spirit it takes to be a Sikh, therefore they are better off in another faith.:happysingh:
     
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  4. findingmyway

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    My experience does not agree with your claim that women convert more often than men. That may be true in India but not in other countries. Religion is not just beliefs but is a way of life and a moral compass. People should NEVER convert for the sake of another person as they are not then going to be committed to the belief system. If you are going to convert it should only be for yourself. It should be due to the conviction you have in the beliefs you are pledging to follow. Love has nothing to do with it as love is a form of attachment can detract you from that path. Love is an emotion and is not always practical. Life is not a movie!! I will never allow anyone to convert for ME as that will be dishonest. This all applies equally to both genders.
     
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  5. Kanwaljit Singh

    Kanwaljit Singh India
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    Yup I think outside India people convert less. But in India many have joint families, so it makes sense that they end up following the majority.
     
  6. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    Because in the end women have to move in to their husband's house not the vice versa.If men agree to convert to their wives faith then they will be kicked out from family,property etc
     
  7. kds1980

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    If that is the case then why every other day we hear topic of UK sikh Girls converting on Sikh forums?May be when a religious woman marries an agnostic or atheist white man then She may not convert and raise her children whatever ways she like but with South Asian Hindu muslim families a woman virtually have to give up her faith.Also unlike islam it is not necessary that a woman formally convert to other religion.Many times they keep saying they are Sikhs despite having non sikh husband but at the same time they raise non sikh families and do their rituals Like karva chauth etc So they indiectly convert to their husbands faith.
     
  8. Harwinder

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    Your statement here is true yes people traditionaly have the girl move into the guys house but that is not equality. Now there are people who are moving in with the girls side. I believe this should be descion of the couple not of traditions.
     
  9. Harwinder

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    you should not have to change yourself in a realationship for any matter. You should be accepted for who you are. The beliefs you have had your whole life should not be changed for mere power because of tradition that men are superior or women are superior. None is superior than the other both are equal.

    You shalll always fallow what you belief in the inside. weather you do convert religion you will truly inside always belief in that. Whats the point of a relationship if one cant be oneself and be loved for it.

    I say Stay who you are and the other one should undersatnd that you respect thier beliefs and they as well MUST respect yours.

    To answer the question in a way. this converting thing should be left in history period stay true to who you are
     
  10. onurag

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    Hi All,
    As qouted by Harwinder ji "this converting thing should be left in history period stay true to who you are", then why people dont understand the feelings of the men and women who are in love.
    The two people truly love each other, respect their partner's feelings, have great respect for their partner's family members, respect their religion, respect their religious belief etc and are well settled and want to marry but still they have to convert otherwise they cant marry each other and start a new life together.
     
  11. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    These days 99% of so called love is bollywood type .People forget their partners if separated in 6-9 months and find another one
     
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  12. Harwinder

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    What does that have anything to do with inter-faith marriege and people converting. Who cares what the stastics. You obviously get into a relationship because you love the person, now it is there choice if they wanna make it work or stay faithfull.
     
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  13. onurag

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    As qouted by kds1980 that "99% of love are bollywood type" but as per your statement 1% people still exist whose love for their partner is true. Genuinely you will find people more than 80% whose love for their partner is true and they are loyal to them, not only in India but around the world.
    It might be possible that the way in which they express their love for their partner may be a bollywood style but deep within their heart they truly are in love with each other.
     
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  14. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    We had this system of guy moving into girls family from quite some time which is called Ghar jamai.But the problem very low quality of men use to become ghar jamai's.Infact stupid looking Ghar Jamai was One of the character in bollywood films of 70s and 80s.These men were neither respected by their own family nor by in laws family.As far outside India is concerned people don't care where they are living in Girls house or Boys house
     
  15. searcher

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    I have seen many non Sikh women marrying Sikhs men and are also accepted by the men's family. mundahug
    Then why not non Sikh men are accepted by Sikh women's family ?
     
  16. kds1980

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    In our last discussion I have already given you examples how women raise chlidren with husband's faith.Tell me How will a religious father feel when her daughter will tell her "daddy ji this sunday we have mundan (ritual head shaving) ceremony for your grandson , please come along with entire family" .In that case how could you expect any religious father to accept her daughters marriage to non sikh.
     
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  17. Harry Haller

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    I personally think that embracing sikhism in later life can be more beneficial than being born into it, I think any religious father would accept the will of god, give thanks for a healthy child, and hope the child becomes a better and more enlightened sikh than would have been, however if we are talking about a father who has more interest in the social and visual facets of sikhism, then I am sure he would be very vexed. Possibly a case of the greater fear of judgement by peer group, than any loss of spiritual potential
     
  18. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    Harry ji

    The environment in India is quite different.Minority Religions are always under threat from majority.Young people see films ,TV serials where they see various festivals of hIndu's.Also majority of their friends are Hindu's which influence their psychology .Sikhism with Uncut hair is difficult religion to practice so Young people which product of interfaith marriage even with Sikh father may prefer to be inclined towards hinduism.Incase of sikh women and non sikh husband chances are almost 100 % children embrace Hinduism ,with Sikh father and Hindu mother there is still much better chance that a child may accept sikhism
    though even in that case Child may end up following hinduism because of getting rid of hair
     
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  19. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    kdsji,

    I think you are entering a trap that I have only just come out of. I have cut hair, and for 15 years I have denied myself the use of the word sikh to describe myself, simply because the hair and turban are such a crucial aspect of sikhism. It is hard to carry off being a sikh when you look like 'Penfold' from dangermouse (google it, its not a pretty sight), however We are all sikhs, and we all take the path away from gurmukh to manmukh and back again.It is my understanding that if I am a sikh and I do not keep my hair, that is no more manmukh then a sardar having the odd drink now and then, (correct me please if i am wrong), I am certainly not advocating the penfold look, but a lack of kesh should not hold anyone back from trying to better himself or trying to abide by gurmukh more than he/she is.

    Out of the many sikh children born on this very day all around the world, some to very sikhi families, many will have the physical aspects of gurmukh, but few will have the heart. If the object is to have as many physically perfect specimens of sikh children as possible, then your argument has validity, however if we are to hope for more children who actually understand that sikhism is more than reciting japji and keeping long hair and enduring hours of kirtan you cannot understand, it is to accept gods will in your life.

    Also of the many that choose to be a hindu, again most will be hindus in name and social tradition, not in heart, but maybe I think that is what causes most pain to most people, not so much the choice of god, but the choice of traditions and social rituals ,.
     
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  20. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    Harry ji

    As I told you India is very different from west.Please don't mind but
    the way you just moved from Sikhi and now returned to it in UK ,you may have been following some baba or Dera if you have been in India.many people who just move from Sikhi in India just end up as being Hindu's

    The problem is there is no defination of Hindu.Britishers just accepted each and every person as Hindu as result many people which were not following any religion or were following any tribal Religion or some saint were described.Slowly there next generations started following hinduism and assimilated themselves within it.

    If Sikhs in India failed to keep their separate identity then in future Sikhs will also be assimilated within Hinduism.
     
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