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Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?

Discussion in 'Love & Marriage' started by arun, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. arun

    arun
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    hello ,

    what will happen if a hindu guy loved sikh ( walia ) girl ? me loving a girl from your community she also loving me .... so i came here to know more about sikh culture .

    Thanks
    Arun Vishwakarma
     
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  3. Archived_Member1

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    can a hindu guy marry a sikh girl? i don't know much about hinduism, but i think so.

    HOWEVER:

    can a sikh girl marry a hindu guy? no, she should not.

    ref: Sikh Rehet Maryada:

    Article XVIII


    b. A Sikh's daughter must be married to a Sikh.
    c. A Sikh's marriage should be solemnized by Anand marriage rites.


    there are many reasons for this, most importantly that she must raise her children as Sikhs, and this is not possible if the husband is a practicing hindu, as many hindu rituals and ceremonies are in contradiction with sikhism.

    i hope this answers your question. :)
     
  4. arun

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    i wonder people are living in this 21st century like this ........WOW
     
  5. Archived_Member1

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    um, i am. if that was meant as an insult, sorry, you'll have to try harder.

    based on your attitude towards the sikh religion, i'm shocked that a sikh girl would even be with you, though i suppose she's probably not particularly religious.

    in my opinion, any sikh woman who is so weak in her faith that she feels the need to marry outside it probably shouldn't be raising sikh children anyway. :) we need strong sikh women who love their faith and culture to raise strong sikh children.

    but you asked what sikhism says about it, not what i think about it. :)
     
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  6. drkhalsa

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    It seems you didint like the answer

    or

    You already knew the answer but was looking for approval of some kind!

    what is written above is techically right
     
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  7. arun

    arun
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    Yes that was technically right a "sikh girl cant marry a hindu guy" ... me bad

    But "A modern girl can marry a modern guy" this is enough for me .

    BTW let know any links to read more about sikhisem ?

    Thanks
     
  8. Archived_Member1

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    where do people get this idea that one cannot be modern and also follow sikhism? i find it really insulting.

    i'm an IT professional, i'm never without my laptop and cellphone. i have my whole house linked through a wireless network. i drive a late model car and dress in jeans most days.
    but apparently, the fact that i wish to follow my religion means i'm not "modern".

    this is one of the most bizarre ideas i've heard, and yet i hear it time and again...

    look arun. if she wants to marry outside of her religion, she's probably just not very religious. that is not the same thing as "modern", ok? :)


    some good general resources on sikhism:

    SIKHNET - Sikh Religion - Sikhism Information
    Welcome to Gateway to Sikhism - A Gateway to Sikhism
    Main Page - SikhiWiki, free Sikh encyclopedia.



     
  9. arun

    arun
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    Thanks for your helpful link :)

    Take it as sports spirit , NOT insulting :)

    Definition of modern
    Modern generally means something that is "up-to-date"

    Modern - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Of or relating to recent times or the present
    modern - definition of modern by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.


    i don't think any religion and their lows can Update depend upon era ... is sikhism can change their lows just for "love" ? defiantly this love and relationship must be coming from god .. or what ?

    physically you are modern because of you are Using modern laptop buying new cars etc... and the same time you are believing a dumbas religion who is not allow to marry loved one lol

    religious = Don't Love A human ???

    .....
     
  10. kds1980

    kds1980 India
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    Dear arun

    If you want to marry her then go ahead ask her parents.why are you asking this question
    on sikh forum? as far as arguement religious - don't love a person is concerned please don't give this stupid arguement.The modern hollywood,bollywood love is mainly based on attraction.It is not true love.these days men and women are spending billions of rupees
    on beauty products so they can attract a partner.Is it you call a true love from god which is resereved for only good looking and rich people?
     
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  11. Archived_Member1

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    shall i assume that this attack on my faith is also not supposed to be insulting? because i'll let you in on a little secret... it's VERY insulting. please stop with the attacks on sikhism in a sikh forum, it's not very good form.


    as far as love goes, you're being totally obsurd. i'm happily in love with my fiance, part of our love comes from our shared faith. here's what sikhism says about marriage...

    "dhan pir eh na akhian behan ikathe hoe
    ek jot doe murti dhan pir khea soe

    they are not said to be husband and wife who merely sit together
    they alone are called husband and wife who have one light in two
    bodies"

    how can you share that light of God if you do not even have similar beliefs? and how can she love someone who calls her religion "dumbass"? my guess is that either she doesn't know you very well and doesn't know of your blatant disregard for her faith, or she's simply not a sikh. contrary to what many indians seem to think, simply being born of sikh parents does not a sikh make. :)

    now if you need to post again, please stop with the insults, it's unnecessary and rude.
     
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  12. Sherab

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    I agree, if there are any more hurtful remarks, i will try to have your ISP remove your IP, and that will be the end of that.

    Thank you very much Arun,


    Surinder

    PS. if you love your girlfriend as much as you say you do, just become Sikh. I am white, and thats what i did because i wanted to marry MY girlfriend enough to do that.

    Why can't you?

    Please think about this, thanks.
     
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  13. Archived_Member1

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    honestly, i don't think we need sikhs like him. it would be better for the girl to just call herself hindu or atheist or something, IMO. at least then they won't be spreading this disregard for sikhism to their children. :)
     
  14. Sherab

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    Dear Kelly-ji,

    Sikhi can change a person.

    Have no doubts about that.
     
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  15. amar7979

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    Mr. Arun,

    If u genuinely want to learn about Sikhism, u are most welcome. Go to this link http://www.allaboutsikhs.com/ and try to learn and understand you seem so unaware about SIKHISM.

    BUT

    Comments on Sikhism (remember ‘dumbas religion’) only proves your ignorance to term Religion. Poor you… I feel pity !!

    Coming back to your question: Whether u could marry that girl who was born in a Sikh family?

    Because Sikh girls are smart n beautiful.
    Because there are no untouchables in the Sikhs.
    Because the Sikhs believe in one God who is Omnipresent and do not disrespect any religion.
    Because Sikhism recognizes no caste or creed as high or low.
    Because Sikhs are so prosperous the world over.
    Because Sikhs do not believe in superstitions of any kind.

    Yes, my friend…. you won’t find a better choice…Ma’an. So search for a ‘Sikh girl’ and not someone who was born merely to Sikh parents.

    A message for the girl who was born in a Sikh family and you intend to marry…
    “The deviants and slow movers are to be treated with sympathy and loving care”.

    I would welcome your fiancée to read this post.
     
  16. arun

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    Thanks for all reply , this thread was worthless because of i just discussed with my GF she is not much more religious like me, so no more problems between our marriage ...!!!

    MODS can close this Thread
    Thanks again

    PS : i have read about Sikhism there have lots interesting thoughts btw we will come here together as real Sikh family :)

    And i didn't try to hurt anyone ... don't misunderstand me .... BYE

    Arun
     
  17. Sherab

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    I feel even worse for the girl now, but oh well... :confused:
     
  18. akash patel

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    Can Hindu boy marry a Sikh girl?

    Heyy there,

    Sat sri akal to all.

    My name is Akash Patel, I'm a Hindu Gujarati from UK and I'm madly in love with with Sikh girl I want to marry. My parents are okay with me marrying a Sikh girl. But her parents have some objections about our marriage her father has said I can marry her if the marriage takes place in the Gurudwara and if I convert to Sikhism.

    I mean I respect Sikhism and all the Gurus, Granth and Gurbani and everything. In fact I even go to Gurudwara sometimes with my friends as most of my friends are Punjabi.I even take part in Nagar Kirtan and everthing. Although I have similar views on 'Caste system' and stuff. But I don't wanna convert my religion which has been in my family for around 5000 years if you guys can understand where I'm coming from? At the same time I don't wanna leave this girl, I love her so much.

    Sikh-Hindu marriage is a common marriage. One of my relatives has married a Sikh guy and I have so many friends who are either Sikh or Hindu and have married a Hindu or a Sikh. Us Indian kids in the UK have this policy of NO BMW [means No Black, Muslim or White.] and Hindus and Sikhs get really fine and all that.

    We can always run away and get married and they'll accept us eventually but we don't wanna hurt them. Being a boy it should be my parents who are stubborn but somehow I've convinced them for me to get married in Gurudwara as I love her so much but I don't wanna convert althought her mum didn't say anything about me converting as long as we get married in Gurudwara but you know how wife's opinion doesn't matter in Indian families. I'm seeing her parents next moth. Any advice on what should I do? Please help me. :)
     
  19. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    Re: Can Hindu boy marry a Sikh girl?

    Akashji,

    Conversion? You mean there is a magic button, a conversion button that you can press that makes you a sikh!

    You are proud of your hindu religion and heritage, and rightly so. You could no more convert than a frog could convert to being a snake, so that option is out, there are some factors that may help.

    How gursikh is the family, if they adhere to the SRM, you have no chance, I would cut your losses, and save everyone a huge amount of heartache, why? because as stated above, conversion, even if you wished to do so, would be hard, you cannot just adopt another religion as easy as eating an aloo prontha, it is slightly harder than that. Also there are your children to consider, and their relationship with both sets of grandparents, as you are indian , you know the huge social consequences of marriage within the community, running away, well thats not really the best way to start married life together, marriage can be hard enough at a young age without the added stress of what you have here.

    If they are not hugely gursikh, and religion is more of a social scene to them, You could compromise by saying that you are not prepared to convert, but you promise that your children will be raised as sikhs, although, again, your parents may not be too keen on the idea,

    It all really depends on the two of you, how important is religion to both of you, how important is god? This is not Romeo and Juliet, you are both playing with peoples lives, including your unborn children,

    Hope it all works out one way or another, but do remember, there is more to marriage than love, looks fade, people age, they get ill, they change, they go through the menopause, they lose a limb, they have car accidents, if you both pursue this, I hope you have enough of a bond to see it through, good luck
     
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  20. akash patel

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    Re: Can Hindu boy marry a Sikh girl?

    Thank you for the help. I can understand what you're trying to say but this is not something we've spontaneously decided to do. We both have contemplated this and have also considered repercussions and I know looks will fade and stuff but she's the one for me. :)

    Plus we're both not that religious. I mean I'm proud Hindu and she's proud Sikh. But we're not really that religious and neither is her family no one in their family wears turban or has beard. They're all clean shaven.

    No don't worry I'm not going to convert. :) I'm going to meet her father and tell him 'Sorry sir but your conditions are unacceptable to me. I can not convert. Although I don't mind getting married in the Gurudwara but I won't convert nor will I ever force your daughter to convert and children can decide if they want to be Sikh or Hindu, I won't force my religion on them. And we can also run away but we don't want to hurt you. I know she's your daughter so you should decide who she marries it should be entirely your decision but I've just got to say I love her so much and I'll always try and keep her happy. More than you ever did.'

    I'm still very nervous, I'm sh*tting in my pants literally. Sorry for the bad language. :)

    Once again thank you for the help.

    Wahe guru ji da khalsa, wahe guru ji di fateh.

    Sat sri akal. :)
     
  21. passingby

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    Mr Arun,
    If you are asking whether you can marry a girl who is born in a Sikh family and for whom Sikhism is just a 'family culture', not a path of spirituality and way of life, then this question is better answered by the girl herself or her family. Nobody can stop 2 persons from getting married if they want to. Period.

    If you are asking about a Girl who is dedicated OR plans to OR aspires to dedicate herself to path of Gurbani THEN there are some problems which might arise out of such marriage:
    #You need to ask first question to yourself: If I love her do I wish for her spiritual progress from the depth of my heart? Do I truly honestly wish her to walk the path of Gurbani and its meditative practices? Would I be truly able to support her throughout on this?
    # Will she be able to adhere to her spiritual path and progress unhampered and un-influenced from me, my family and out religious beliefs and practices?
    # Would she be able to refuse to follow things which are against spiritual beliefs as enshrined by Gurbani?
    # Would your relationship and the unavoidable emotional bonding not make her deviate from her path, dilute her resolution and make her into a compromise of a some sort?
    # What about your attitude towards spirituality and progress on a spiritual path. Are you a spiritual oriented person? Would you support her on her path? If she were to start tying a turban and wear a prominently visible Kirpan on her person, would she face any hostility in your family and from you?
    # What about the children, would they consider Gurbani as their mainstay? Or would they at least be givena free choice if they want to follow the path of Gurbani?

    You would get the drift of my points I think. In the end it all depends one what kind of relationship the girl as well as you have to your respective religion and consequent culture.
    And please keep in mind this is a Sikh forum. Being humble is a cardinal principle.
     
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