☀️ JOIN SPN MOBILE
Forums
New posts
Guru Granth Sahib
Composition, Arrangement & Layout
ਜਪੁ | Jup
ਸੋ ਦਰੁ | So Dar
ਸੋਹਿਲਾ | Sohilaa
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ | Raag Siree-Raag
Gurbani (14-53)
Ashtpadiyan (53-71)
Gurbani (71-74)
Pahre (74-78)
Chhant (78-81)
Vanjara (81-82)
Vaar Siri Raag (83-91)
Bhagat Bani (91-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਝ | Raag Maajh
Gurbani (94-109)
Ashtpadi (109)
Ashtpadiyan (110-129)
Ashtpadi (129-130)
Ashtpadiyan (130-133)
Bara Maha (133-136)
Din Raen (136-137)
Vaar Maajh Ki (137-150)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗਉੜੀ | Raag Gauree
Gurbani (151-185)
Quartets/Couplets (185-220)
Ashtpadiyan (220-234)
Karhalei (234-235)
Ashtpadiyan (235-242)
Chhant (242-249)
Baavan Akhari (250-262)
Sukhmani (262-296)
Thittee (296-300)
Gauree kii Vaar (300-323)
Gurbani (323-330)
Ashtpadiyan (330-340)
Baavan Akhari (340-343)
Thintteen (343-344)
Vaar Kabir (344-345)
Bhagat Bani (345-346)
ਰਾਗੁ ਆਸਾ | Raag Aasaa
Gurbani (347-348)
Chaupaday (348-364)
Panchpadde (364-365)
Kaafee (365-409)
Aasaavaree (409-411)
Ashtpadiyan (411-432)
Patee (432-435)
Chhant (435-462)
Vaar Aasaa (462-475)
Bhagat Bani (475-488)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ | Raag Goojaree
Gurbani (489-503)
Ashtpadiyan (503-508)
Vaar Gujari (508-517)
Vaar Gujari (517-526)
ਰਾਗੁ ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ | Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree
Gurbani (527-536)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਹਾਗੜਾ | Raag Bihaagraa
Gurbani (537-556)
Chhant (538-548)
Vaar Bihaagraa (548-556)
ਰਾਗੁ ਵਡਹੰਸ | Raag Wadhans
Gurbani (557-564)
Ashtpadiyan (564-565)
Chhant (565-575)
Ghoriaan (575-578)
Alaahaniiaa (578-582)
Vaar Wadhans (582-594)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੋਰਠਿ | Raag Sorath
Gurbani (595-634)
Asatpadhiya (634-642)
Vaar Sorath (642-659)
ਰਾਗੁ ਧਨਾਸਰੀ | Raag Dhanasaree
Gurbani (660-685)
Astpadhiya (685-687)
Chhant (687-691)
Bhagat Bani (691-695)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਤਸਰੀ | Raag Jaitsree
Gurbani (696-703)
Chhant (703-705)
Vaar Jaitsaree (705-710)
Bhagat Bani (710)
ਰਾਗੁ ਟੋਡੀ | Raag Todee
ਰਾਗੁ ਬੈਰਾੜੀ | Raag Bairaaree
ਰਾਗੁ ਤਿਲੰਗ | Raag Tilang
Gurbani (721-727)
Bhagat Bani (727)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ | Raag Suhi
Gurbani (728-750)
Ashtpadiyan (750-761)
Kaafee (761-762)
Suchajee (762)
Gunvantee (763)
Chhant (763-785)
Vaar Soohee (785-792)
Bhagat Bani (792-794)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ | Raag Bilaaval
Gurbani (795-831)
Ashtpadiyan (831-838)
Thitteen (838-840)
Vaar Sat (841-843)
Chhant (843-848)
Vaar Bilaaval (849-855)
Bhagat Bani (855-858)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੋਂਡ | Raag Gond
Gurbani (859-869)
Ashtpadiyan (869)
Bhagat Bani (870-875)
ਰਾਗੁ ਰਾਮਕਲੀ | Raag Ramkalee
Ashtpadiyan (902-916)
Gurbani (876-902)
Anand (917-922)
Sadd (923-924)
Chhant (924-929)
Dakhnee (929-938)
Sidh Gosat (938-946)
Vaar Ramkalee (947-968)
ਰਾਗੁ ਨਟ ਨਾਰਾਇਨ | Raag Nat Narayan
Gurbani (975-980)
Ashtpadiyan (980-983)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਲੀ ਗਉੜਾ | Raag Maalee Gauraa
Gurbani (984-988)
Bhagat Bani (988)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਰੂ | Raag Maaroo
Gurbani (889-1008)
Ashtpadiyan (1008-1014)
Kaafee (1014-1016)
Ashtpadiyan (1016-1019)
Anjulian (1019-1020)
Solhe (1020-1033)
Dakhni (1033-1043)
ਰਾਗੁ ਤੁਖਾਰੀ | Raag Tukhaari
Bara Maha (1107-1110)
Chhant (1110-1117)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
Bhagat Bani (1123-1124)
ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
Partaal (1153)
Ashtpadiyan (1153-1167)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਸੰਤੁ | Raag Basant
Gurbani (1168-1187)
Ashtpadiyan (1187-1193)
Vaar Basant (1193-1196)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਾਰਗ | Raag Saarag
Gurbani (1197-1200)
Partaal (1200-1231)
Ashtpadiyan (1232-1236)
Chhant (1236-1237)
Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
Ashtpadiyan (1273-1278)
Chhant (1278)
Vaar Malaar (1278-91)
Bhagat Bani (1292-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
Partaal (1296-1318)
Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
Chhant (1312)
Vaar Kaanraa
Bhagat Bani (1318)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਲਿਆਨ | Raag Kalyaan
Gurbani (1319-23)
Ashtpadiyan (1323-26)
ਰਾਗੁ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ | Raag Prabhaatee
Gurbani (1327-1341)
Ashtpadiyan (1342-51)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਜਾਵੰਤੀ | Raag Jaijaiwanti
Gurbani (1352-53)
Salok | Gatha | Phunahe | Chaubole | Swayiye
Sehskritee Mahala 1
Sehskritee Mahala 5
Gaathaa Mahala 5
Phunhay Mahala 5
Chaubolae Mahala 5
Shaloks Bhagat Kabir
Shaloks Sheikh Farid
Swaiyyae Mahala 5
Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
Shaloks in Addition To Vaars
Shalok Ninth Mehl
Mundavanee Mehl 5
ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New resources
Latest activity
Videos
New media
New comments
Library
Latest reviews
Donate
Log in
Register
What's new
New posts
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
Sign up
Log in
Social Lounge
Articles
General
brother's search for a life partner
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="betterfutures43" data-source="post: 224963" data-attributes="member: 25486"><p>WJKK WJKF,</p><p></p><p>Hope all are well. I am seeking guidance regarding my younger brother’s (27) search for a life partner. </p><p></p><p>We are quite a religious family, I am non-amritdhari but my father and younger brother are both strict amritdhari. </p><p></p><p>My brother is one of the most kind and honest people you will ever meet. However, unfortunately his search for a life partner has been very difficult. He is a mature person and was ready to start searching at age 24 and so we began this, we registered him across many gurdwaras across London and several others in major UK cities such as Birmingham, Wolverhampton, Coventry etc. Also using family network aswell.</p><p></p><p>From reading a lot of previous posts and other sikhi forums, it seems the most common issue for amritdhari men finding a partner is they feel rejected due to their appearance. </p><p></p><p>My brother hasn’t actually experienced this issue, we have met with many families but unfortunately the main reason that the girl rejects him ( or actually girl’s parents reject him as we all well know they are pulling the strings behind the scenes ) is they say some really awful things about his occupation, salary, financial stability, these things. Has anyone else experienced this when searching for a partner?</p><p></p><p>To provide some background, my brother is a detective in the met police in London. He earns average about £38k but with OT sometimes around £45k. I know it seems like the whole sikh community is somehow on a 6-figure salary and love to show off all their wealth and that his salary might not seem like anything to a lot of you but my brother works extremely hard for that money. </p><p></p><p>My parents are also very modest people, if they wanted to buy lavish things they could, but they would never do this as they were never like this. Whenever we meet the parents of these girls, the dads especially like to shove their net worth in the face of my father and it makes us very sad or they tell us how many houses they own.</p><p></p><p>Also they say some really rude things to my brother like ‘how can you support my daughter with this job?’ or ‘why are you not a doctor?’. Whatever happened to kirat karo, it appears to most of our community kirat karo only counts if you are a doctor or earning a huge salary. </p><p></p><p>Genuinely my brother is asking very little in terms of what he is seeking in a partner, he doesn’t care about her age, education level, profession, community, anything like that. He just wants someone from a modest family and ideally someone vegetarian since he is amritdhari.</p><p></p><p>However, it Is really hurting me to see him so down. He is a hard-working and honest person. </p><p>He has devoted his life to sikhi and helping others in his career aswell, yet the awful responses from these girls and their families have really make him doubt himself. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I would expect these types of interrogations for my brother when seeking a partner in india but not when both parties are born in the UK. </p><p></p><p>Also, I have seen many men have criteria for the girl such as appearance, or family background, education level etc but my brother doesn’t have any of this and yet still he is treated so badly and also these are mostly matches from the gurdwara matrimonial services which is equally shocking.</p><p></p><p>At this rate, I don’t feel sikhi will last for too long if every single person wants to married with the top 1%.</p><p></p><p>In the old days, couples used to struggle together, overcome challenges together which is what marriage is about and make their lives together. Nowadays people would like a partner already made. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I appreciate if anyone can guide on this, I am not sure how to help my brother on this one. </p><p></p><p>Very grateful</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="betterfutures43, post: 224963, member: 25486"] WJKK WJKF, Hope all are well. I am seeking guidance regarding my younger brother’s (27) search for a life partner. We are quite a religious family, I am non-amritdhari but my father and younger brother are both strict amritdhari. My brother is one of the most kind and honest people you will ever meet. However, unfortunately his search for a life partner has been very difficult. He is a mature person and was ready to start searching at age 24 and so we began this, we registered him across many gurdwaras across London and several others in major UK cities such as Birmingham, Wolverhampton, Coventry etc. Also using family network aswell. From reading a lot of previous posts and other sikhi forums, it seems the most common issue for amritdhari men finding a partner is they feel rejected due to their appearance. My brother hasn’t actually experienced this issue, we have met with many families but unfortunately the main reason that the girl rejects him ( or actually girl’s parents reject him as we all well know they are pulling the strings behind the scenes ) is they say some really awful things about his occupation, salary, financial stability, these things. Has anyone else experienced this when searching for a partner? To provide some background, my brother is a detective in the met police in London. He earns average about £38k but with OT sometimes around £45k. I know it seems like the whole sikh community is somehow on a 6-figure salary and love to show off all their wealth and that his salary might not seem like anything to a lot of you but my brother works extremely hard for that money. My parents are also very modest people, if they wanted to buy lavish things they could, but they would never do this as they were never like this. Whenever we meet the parents of these girls, the dads especially like to shove their net worth in the face of my father and it makes us very sad or they tell us how many houses they own. Also they say some really rude things to my brother like ‘how can you support my daughter with this job?’ or ‘why are you not a doctor?’. Whatever happened to kirat karo, it appears to most of our community kirat karo only counts if you are a doctor or earning a huge salary. Genuinely my brother is asking very little in terms of what he is seeking in a partner, he doesn’t care about her age, education level, profession, community, anything like that. He just wants someone from a modest family and ideally someone vegetarian since he is amritdhari. However, it Is really hurting me to see him so down. He is a hard-working and honest person. He has devoted his life to sikhi and helping others in his career aswell, yet the awful responses from these girls and their families have really make him doubt himself. I would expect these types of interrogations for my brother when seeking a partner in india but not when both parties are born in the UK. Also, I have seen many men have criteria for the girl such as appearance, or family background, education level etc but my brother doesn’t have any of this and yet still he is treated so badly and also these are mostly matches from the gurdwara matrimonial services which is equally shocking. At this rate, I don’t feel sikhi will last for too long if every single person wants to married with the top 1%. In the old days, couples used to struggle together, overcome challenges together which is what marriage is about and make their lives together. Nowadays people would like a partner already made. I appreciate if anyone can guide on this, I am not sure how to help my brother on this one. Very grateful [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Social Lounge
Articles
General
brother's search for a life partner
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn more…
Top