Welcome to SPN

Register and Join the most happening forum of Sikh community & intellectuals from around the world.

Sign Up Now!

Am I doing something wrong?

Discussion in 'Sikh Youth' started by mr2guysingh, Nov 23, 2013.

Tags:
  1. mr2guysingh

    mr2guysingh
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    15
    I've been having some rough years for the longest time. My parents separated when I was 10, and my mom raised my sister and I. All of us worked hard to better our life. I didn't grow up in a very lavish life, no materialistic things or whatever people considered they needed. I was content with what I had. As I got older, I started to work to support myself and the household. But my mom wanted me to concentrate on school, so I just focused on high school and college. I had a very difficult time in high school, but I kept myself strong and graduated. Went to a community college and was doing great. My dream was to become a dentist. I was happy with where I was in life.

    Then I got into a car accident. My dad had bought my sister a car for graduation, but she gave it to me once she got married. The car was totaled, and my dad collected the money and didn't buy me a car. So I had to stop going to school, and borrow money from my Uncle to buy a car. Bought a nice, decent car for $4K. I got a part time job and paid my Uncle back and still went to school. Life was eh, it was difficult because it was just me and my mom trying to support each other. We needed more income, so I started working full time and stopped going to school. Worked at a dealership washing car, which was fun because I was still young, and I made a few friends with people who bought cars from us. One guy offered me a job paying a few dollars more, but I got to do IT type of work.

    Started my new job, had a good amount saved up for going back to school, and was happy with where I was in life. I was going to work here until I had enough saved up to support my mom and I, and still be able to go back to school. Well, people in the office started to gossip about me and I wasn't liked very much. I had my own office, came in when I wanted and left when I wanted. I was getting paid more then some of the workers that had been working there for over 2-3 years. Long story short, I was let go from that job, but all is well because I could go back to school now. Nope, got into an accident the day I got let go. My car was totaled. I got enough to buy something else, but the engine was on its way out and so I sold it for a loss.

    I got a new car, used the money I saved up. Started working again, at a dealership and wasn't happy with where I was in life. I left, and started working for my Uncle, and started my own business the past year. But every time I am trying to improve my situation, I get knocked down to where I was before. I am used to the lifestyle I grew up with. As long as I have food on my table, and a roof over my head I was happy. I did, and still do path daily and have complete faith that God and the Guru's hear me, but is this some kind of test? I am in a bad place financially and mentally. I try to stay strong for my mom so she doesn't have to worry, but I am not sure what to do. I work so hard to try to get myself into a better position. I try to stay positive, but I guess life isn't easy.
     
    • Like Like x 9
  2. Loading...

    Similar Threads Forum Date
    How To Meditate (dhyaan / Simran) ? Am I Doing It All Wrong. I Can't Concentrate And Feel Sleepy Intellectual Articles Mar 25, 2016
    Conentrating while Doing Paath? Blogs Oct 22, 2015
    Covering Kesh While Eating And Doing Other Activities Questions and Answers Mar 27, 2015
    Doing parkash of SGGS at home? Questions and Answers Mar 31, 2014
    India Does Doing Yoga Make You a Hindu? Breaking News Nov 21, 2013

  3. Inderjeet Kaur

    Inderjeet Kaur
    Expand Collapse
    Writer SPNer Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2011
    Messages:
    774
    Likes Received:
    1,712
    Right. Exactly right. Life is hard. In fact, life is the hardest thing there is. One of the secrets of living a successful life is to get up every time you're knocked down. Yes, you will be knocked down again and again and again. One definition of a successful life is to get up one more time than you've been knocked down.:motherlylove:

    It sounds to me like you are doing just fine. Keep up the good work.:faujasingh:

    And remain in chardi kala.:kaurkhalsaflagred:
     
    • Like Like x 10
  4. Ishna

    Ishna
    Expand Collapse
    On hiatus
    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 9, 2006
    Messages:
    2,942
    Likes Received:
    5,002
    Mr2guysingh ji

    It sounds like you've had a fair few setbacks along the way so far. It's good to see that each time, you tend to bounce back. You lose one job, you get another, you lose one car, you get another. This is good. And from what you've said so far, your attitude doesn't see to be too bad either, really. Good job. :)

    I think you answered your own question in the end:

    Life loves to throw curve ball.s at us. My psychologist likes to remind me that life always has a way of pulling the carpet out from under us. Just when we're getting comfy. It would be awefully dull otherwise.

    Sometimes these curve ball.s come from out of the blue, through no fault of our own. Sometimes it's obvious that our own choices, decisions and actions led to the result that we may have seen coming, may have been trying to ignore, or took a calculated risk at and it landed on the wrong side.

    Personally, based on what you've said, you're doing quiet fine, you've got your head on straight and your eyes on the horizon. So many people would just throw their hands up in the air, cry and whine, but you've just summarised the hurdles, how you've come back from them, and now you're feeling a bit exasperated with it all. And that's ok. Take a breath, and you'll continue on, and you will get there in the end. It's important to think about your future and do your best to achieve it, but it's also vitally important to realise that what actually eventuates is out of our control. That's where acceptance of Hukam comes into it. The key, I think, is to appreciate the moment and cultivate contentment with what you have.

    Like you said, food on the table, roof over your head, I'm guessing you have a reasonable relationship with your mother, living in relative safety compared to other parts of the world, your health, and the mental faculties to learn Gurbani and cultivate a close relationship to the truth.

    And in answer to your thread title, and based on what you've said here, no, you're not doing anything wrong.

    If you're still not feeling well mentally, please seek someone qualified to talk to about it, because we're not psychologists here, and there's no shame in talking to someone when you're feeling depressed - it's like seeing the doctor when you're sick. :)

    This thread may also provide some food for your though: http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/40749-how-does-sikhi-you-through-tough.html
     
    • Like Like x 7
    #3 Ishna, Nov 23, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2013
  5. Taranjeet singh

    Taranjeet singh India
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    451
    Likes Received:
    895
    All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.Emerson
     
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
    Expand Collapse

    Moderator

    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    5,118
    Likes Received:
    7,945
    Happiness comes to different people in different ways, I note that even though life was hard, for all of you, you were happy with where you were, so it is not lifes problems that were making you unhappy, as you were all working hard and overcoming your problems

    Here is where things get a bit confusing, and also a bit revealing, your relationship with your father seems a bit strained, almost as if it seems he has done very little by way of support, I am a bit confused by why you would stop going to school just to buy a nice decent car, but note that you stayed in school, I am still a bit unsure why you would spend 4k on a car if things were that tight, but I was young once, and I remember doing similar things

    When I was your age, I had a habit of doing the same, buying cars, crashing them, buying others, crashing them too, basically, I was young and I drove too fast, this is the second accident you mention, second car that has been written off, your comment about the engine being on the way out brought a smile to my face, I am 44 now and still buying silly cars that last a month before something gives way (don't ever buy a P38 Land Rover)

    Ok, we have different beliefs here, and mine are hardly mainstream, but I do not that the Creator has any interest in you period.I do not talk to 'God', I do not ask from 'God', and I certainly do not believe this is some kind of test, that would be a huge waste of everyones time. Life is hard, there are those that have everything yet still feel denied, and there are those that have nothing and feel they own the world, things that happen naturally, you have no control over, one must do the best to overcome, as indeed you have done, but then there are things that you do have control over, purchase a small sensible car that will not cost too much to maintain, drive it sensibly, my last car cost me £400, and was brilliant, keep your speed down, sounds to me like you are taking your life problems out on your driving!

    We are Sikhs, there is no test, no reincarnation, no heaven, no hell, no prize, the only prize worth having is the knowledge that you live your life as truly as possible, help others, find wisdom, better yourself, look after your family, all this you are already doing, but it is not to be done for God, in order to be rewarded, it is done for yourself and the people around you, as you are all part of Creation.

    I think your doing fine, your just realising what life is about, keep fighting
     
    • Like Like x 5
  7. Astroboy

    Astroboy Malaysia
    Expand Collapse
    ਨਾਮ ਤੇਰੇ ਕੀ ਜੋਤਿ ਲਗਾਈ (Previously namjap)
    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2007
    Messages:
    4,578
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    I guess, if you have food on the table and a roof over your head, consider yourself lucky.
     
  8. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
    Expand Collapse

    Moderator

    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    5,118
    Likes Received:
    7,945
    Veerji

    I find that a very Abrahamic stance, we all have problems, ironically, the beggar on the street has less problems than all of us, but should we not strive for more than just the basics? Is it wrong to want to better oneself, or find better paid employment? Is it wrong to be in love, to look for love, give an animal food and shelter, and for the animal, all boxes are ticked, but we are human beings, capable of discovery, of invention, of creating, and all these bring thier own problems to the table, should we stop inventing, discovering and creating and consider ourself lucky we have food and shelter? Would that have been good advice to Bach, to Newton, et al?
     
    • Like Like x 3
  9. angrisha

    angrisha
    Expand Collapse
    SPNer

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2010
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    231
    The only thing I know for certain is any challenge I have ever faced has made me grow and has pushed me to constantly keep growing... whether it be spiritually, mentally, or physically.

    In the end, your ability to keep rising to your challenges is showing your growth to... They will never stop, there is always more to learn.
     
    • Like Like x 5
  10. Ambarsaria

    Ambarsaria Canada
    Expand Collapse
    ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār
    Writer SPNer Contributor Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2010
    Messages:
    3,366
    Likes Received:
    5,657
    Brother you still have time on your side. Pick up a path that you will love to follow and that you will cherish. Go for it.

    Much is lost when we do things that we do for reasons other than our own or try to follow prescribed paths like guys become Engineers and girls go for nursing. Find your inner self and what you believe you would love to do plus could do better than most. That will be your edge and there will be no looking back.

    Good tidings and be ever so proud that you have handled knocks of life very well so far other than as Harry ji pointed out about driving. Drive your ambition and strengths in overdrive and not autos. You have a great likelihood of being very successful and happy.

    All the best.

    Sat Sri Akal.:mundahug:
     
    • Like Like x 2

Share This Page