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A set back or a step forward

Discussion in 'Blogs' started by Harry Haller, Oct 17, 2015.

  1. Harry Haller

    Harry Haller United Kingdom
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    Writer SPNer Contributor

    Jan 31, 2011
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    Having done a small survey, the concept of calling the voice in your head, Guru, has had mixed reactions, with one suggestion being that I should go and hear Ranjit Singh speak, as this might help me, he is very good you know!

    On the subject of dear Ranjit Singh, I spent some time looking at other forums, and the opinion of him, it is like entering a different world, on some forums the man is a hero!

    I talked to my father at some length, he is worried about me, as is my mother, but not my wife!, knowing my addictive personality as it is, he cautioned me to stop shredding the subject to pieces, to just hold fire, and appreciate life, to stop the search, if even for a time long enough that I absorb what I have learnt already. I shared with dad my views so far, some he agreed with, some he did not, has it ever occurred to you, he said, that if you had joined another forum, your views could be completely different, of course he was correct, I asked him what he thought god looked like, he paused, and said on the very few times he had tried to visualise god, god had a beard with a human face. But dad, I said, thats completely Abrahamic!, dad paused, and said, I read the Hukamnama this morning, and part of it focused on gods lotus feet, is that not also abrahamic?, god in my head might have a beard, but I have drawn a line under that, the spirit and the joy I get in loving god and feeling him close to me is reflected in that very personal image, would it not be better to concentrate on the message of god than the image, whether it be right or wrong? If I have the image wrong, then I am wrong about an image, but I would rather do that than get the message wrong, he paused, or even not get to the message as I was bogged down in imagery.

    Live your life, my dad said, live it to its full, do everything you want to do, go on a cruise, work hard, buy another range rover, work towards the farm you and your wife want, just do as much as you can with the blessing of that internal voice, and that is all you can do, learn, evolve, but do not stop living, as that is a fundamental part of sikhism, to live, to enjoy the gift of life.

    My father thinks I spend too much time trying to be a good and pure person, he knows I am not at heart a good and pure person, none of us are, balance what you now know, with who you are and live,

    So I have decided to live for a while now, I have been in mental contemplation for nearly 9 months, and have learned wonderful things, I know what sikhism means and I know what it means to me, and how I can combine it with my genetic longings, it may not be in my lifetime to merge with Waheguru, and to push that would be worse than not trying to find it at all. When my time comes, I will be plucked and I am sure Waheguru will come for me when I am ready, my own interpretation is now to live my life, in the manner that makes me happy, but to remember where I came from, and where I could end up back, and to be true to myself, to what my mind says.

    In that spirit, I had my first argument in years, I was being shouted at, by an associate , over a small issue, he shouts at me, because I do not shout back, I apologise, I try and calm him down, but the more I do this, the angrier he gets, yesterday, I allowed the anger to seep in, and let my rage do the rest, within a few minutes, shocked at my outburst, I had an apology. The key is knowing when to appease, and when to fight back, it may not have been very saintly, but I do not think he will speak to me like that again, but to harness all the power within, one needs wisdom, understanding, knowledge, patience, to be truly alive, satisfied, whole and complete is not to be emotionally dead, to crave nothing, to be peaceful, easily satisfied, accepting, these are not human traits, and as I am a human, god given traits, the game now is realise myself as a human being with all the traits of a human, but also to speak to my fellow inhabitants of this planet in a manner that they will understand, and if strong words need to be used, or even strong actions, than so be it, there are no answers, but there is complete duality in everything, and until you recognise that, not only in yourself, but in others, you cannot even begin to work out what is true
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