Hi.
I am a caucasian man in his mid-twenties. I am a doctor and I would call myself spiritual but non-religious. My problem is that I am in a long term relationship with a Sikh girl whom I love very much.
She is also in her mid-twenties and a doctor. She is a sikh but does not practice regularly. She is however religious on a more personal level and sikhism is very important to her.
We both come from middle class families, we both have similar likes and dislikes, we are both in the same profession, we get on extremely well and love each other very much.
The only obstacle to us being together is her family. She has met my family and I have met her brothers and sisters and we all get along very well. Her parents have no idea about me, and would rather her marry a Sikh, preferably of the same caste.
I understand the reasons behind parents wanting their children to marry people of similar upbringing - it makes perfect sense. It means people have less differences around important matters such as religion, and can continue to live their lives as they are used to.
For us, as we have discussed all these things. I am happy with her to practice as she sees fit. I am happy to educate our children in both cultures and allow them to decide what and how they want to practice when they are old enough. I am happy to continue to learn, as I am already, about Sikhism. I would not convert as it would be patronising to pretend I am something when I am not. I am however happy to learn Punjabi so as to help talk to her relatives.
I am not sure this is enough however, and the reason I feel is pride. The simple fact is, that if she marries me her family will be known as the one where the girl went off a white man. This would be a source of a great deal of arguments, wounded pride and possibly a family rift.
I came on this forum to ask for advice and help. I cannot change my background, but I want do to make myself more acceptable to her parents, so that if and when I meet them it will be less problematic.
Is there anything I can do?
I am a caucasian man in his mid-twenties. I am a doctor and I would call myself spiritual but non-religious. My problem is that I am in a long term relationship with a Sikh girl whom I love very much.
She is also in her mid-twenties and a doctor. She is a sikh but does not practice regularly. She is however religious on a more personal level and sikhism is very important to her.
We both come from middle class families, we both have similar likes and dislikes, we are both in the same profession, we get on extremely well and love each other very much.
The only obstacle to us being together is her family. She has met my family and I have met her brothers and sisters and we all get along very well. Her parents have no idea about me, and would rather her marry a Sikh, preferably of the same caste.
I understand the reasons behind parents wanting their children to marry people of similar upbringing - it makes perfect sense. It means people have less differences around important matters such as religion, and can continue to live their lives as they are used to.
For us, as we have discussed all these things. I am happy with her to practice as she sees fit. I am happy to educate our children in both cultures and allow them to decide what and how they want to practice when they are old enough. I am happy to continue to learn, as I am already, about Sikhism. I would not convert as it would be patronising to pretend I am something when I am not. I am however happy to learn Punjabi so as to help talk to her relatives.
I am not sure this is enough however, and the reason I feel is pride. The simple fact is, that if she marries me her family will be known as the one where the girl went off a white man. This would be a source of a great deal of arguments, wounded pride and possibly a family rift.
I came on this forum to ask for advice and help. I cannot change my background, but I want do to make myself more acceptable to her parents, so that if and when I meet them it will be less problematic.
Is there anything I can do?