A Wolf's View of Sikhism

I lost my innocence at 13. Up until that age, I had a normal sikh upbringing, but at 13 something woke up in me that had been slowly increasing in power and direction.

I discovered what most young boys discover around that age and to cut a long story short, a side of me was born that has dominated my life ever since. This other harry, whom I have always called wolf, is not like me. He is an embodiment of all five thieves, led chiefly by lust. For years the wolf and harry have had a love/hate relationship and fought constant battles, even when harry eventually labelled himself a non sikh, although he respected the fine sikh philosophies without even knowing it. Very rarely do man and wolf sit down together and try and help each other in some sort of peace.

So now Harry has again found his faith, he labels himself a sikh, he underdstands fully the concept of sikhism, and it is a path that he is now set on completing. But it isnt that easy, if Harry were honest, the thought of being without me fills him with dread, I give Harry a reason for living, excitement, I introduce that feeling in his stomach, I make him feel more alive than he has felt on his own.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/sikh-sikhi-sikhism/35643-a-wolfs-view-of-sikhism.html

Of course I am a coward, when there have been times I have goaded Harry towards self destruction, and Harry has fallen, and fallen hard, I retreat to a small cave in his mind, where I hide out, till things are bearable again. I do not mind the fun and frolics, but I am not taking responsibility , thats Harrys job.

Harry worships his inner god, the voice of truth and goodness. Although I respect this god, it does not have enough facets for me, I worship Abbraxus, some believe him to be a satanic god, he is not, he is the god of the manmukh, it is his divine order that ALL human desires be fulfilled, every fetish, every food, drink, be comsumed to feed the unholy fires that burn constantly, but, even I accept that this path has no end, it is timeless, it is now. A cycle develops, of pleasure, memory and then desire, but each time you go round, the pleasure gets less, the memory becomes distorted, and the desire wanes, you have to keep adding more and more ingredients to the pot to not only sustain the pleasures but attempt to increase them.

And that is the life of wolf, it is quite pointless, it has no beginning and no end, it is purely for the moment. At present I am a lame wolf. For a long time I have had to live out my fantasies in Harrys mind, and even those fantasies where sex is involved, must only feature my wife, and that is what I have now, those are the confines of my existence. I used to be king of all my domain, a roaring wolf who could roam the midnight air,searching for excitement, adventure, a she wolf, a rabbit whose throat I could rip, eventually I would return home, where I lived alone, bloodied and satisfied, Harry was then a sardar, and he felt that was quite enough to satisfy any conscience, so all in all, we all had a great life.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35643

Now Harry is intent on finding the lost paths to the spirit, and eventually to god. He dreams of killing me, of destroying me, but he knows he cannot. All he can do is make his peace with me. Harry is a good man, but his understanding and spirituality are his undoing, without me, he would have nothing, only his love of spirit. Thankfully, its possible we could live side by side in sikhi. I will make a deal with Harry, one day, yes I will be gone, I accept that, I always thought Harry would go before me, and I could spend my twilight years dying as a wolf should. But this exposure to new theories and teachings means although I do not agree with his path, I have to accept that it is the path to enlightenment, and through this path I will get weaker and weaker until Harry is strong enough through the spirit of Nanak not to kill me, but to let me give way to understanding and the union between man, spirit and god.

Till then, I agree to stop mocking Harry in his attempt to find god, I will stop introducing anger into him when he feels people are using him, Harry has to learn to give freely, and take up the slack from within, using the power of the spirit and of god to replenish his emptyness, but by the same token, Harry must learn to stop being so holier than thou with respect to my desires and my wishes, he needs to stop tarring everything with the same brush, Harry needs to understand that there is scope in sikhi for wolfish activities, but firstly, in moderation, and secondly never to the point where these activities are placed higher than the spirit, and thirdly within pre set limits

In years gone by, it was probably easier, the saint reflected Harry, and the soldier reflected me, it was a union made by god, to balance everything out.

I exist not only to show Harry the wonders of creation, but to protect him. But it will be his union with god, not mine in which Harry will live eternally, I will only ever be there for the moment

thank you for reading

 
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I agree you should not mock harry. There is another side to being a wolf, which is perhaps now raising its hand/paw to be recognized. The communal side. The side that binds with the other wolves. The side that bays together in the night creating a sense of safety for each and every one. The side that kindles loyalty. If the wolf that is lustful is chased away, some good things may be banished with it. So perhaps your soul is calling you to think of how all of the qualities that might be banished or ignored can instead be nourished, so much so that lust can hardly make a peep. Maybe it is time for safety in sangat, the kind of sangat where all the parts of harry's inner life can be tied together, and not one part is made into an angry orphan, and instead of feeding anger, nourishes each one.

As a wolf, I have been pared down hugely to accommodate Harry's wishes, actually not for Harry, but for Harry's wife. She made it clear from the first meeting that she would love me forever, and be by my side with one provision. I was not to entertain thoughts or desires for any other women, and I have respected that.Now the question is, if Harry is achieve the closeness he desires so much with his creator, is my lust for his wife going to inhibit him......

I commend your honest appraisal ,there is only one self ,you maybe transferring your lower self to the symbolic wolf .
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35643

Cultivate your higher self

God Bless

The Dark Age of Kali Yuga is the vessel, filled with the wine of sexual desire; the mind is the drunkard.

Lust could probably be defined by quantum physics and kitchen economics. It is like burning a matchstick. If you keep on placing more matchsticks at the end of previous one, the flame will keep on burning. Otherwise it will stay hidden as a matchstick in the box.

I suppose you need to analyze what lust is and how it expresses itself negatively. If couples had no desire for each other we would cease to reproduce. Sexual intimacy can also be bonding between husband and wife. Is this sexual relationship different to "lust"?

Sikhi doesn't advocate celibacy, so you need to figure out what exactly lust is and how it is different from healthy sexual feelings for your wife.

ishna ji

You make several good points. Physical lust wanes with age. Does the loss of lust in older age mean you have conquered it? Lust can also take on nonphysical forms. What kind of lust are we talking about? How honest are people actually when they think about it in their own lives?

Spnadminji,

I do not think you should conquer lust, I think you need to make your peace with it. For instance if you really enjoy aloo pronta, to the point where your driving home, and all you can think of is aloo pronta, that surely could be lust. Is it possible some people lust after a complete relationship with the creator. Somehow that does not sound right, to use the word 'lust' in the same sentence as the creator seems wrong. Although I do not think it is wrong for a man to lust after his wife, I get slightly uncomfortable when I do, I feel my intentions are not fully loving and pure.Ishna talks of sexual desire, and that is a very honest statement, but we all know that the best sex is one of love, intimate respect and closeness, anything other than that tends to be for the self, so its possible I have answered my own question,. Lust is for the self, whereas love is shared. I suppose if your driving home thinking of aloo pronta and sharing it with your wife, that is different to a sole aloo pronta eating session, which is more likely lust.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35643

We are never going to be as pure as the Guru's were, is there a point to taking a mental shoe and stamping out everything in our heads that seems contrary to teachings, surely if everything is god given, then these thoughts are too, there must be reason for them other than trying to entrap us or trying to make us better people by locking them away. If its acceptable to lust after your wife, or lust after food, or knowledge, or even life provided it is carried out in a manner that is not destructive. I do not feel there is anything wrong in someone having a lust for knowledge, if the intention is to use that knowledge for the good, how can there be anything wrong in having a lust for life, provided that life is led within the confines of sikhi.

I have no doubt that the five thieves are there and waiting for us all, but a bit like an alcoholic that refuses to go to AA, I would rather understand and moderate them, than be scared of them, or in constant battle. Is an alcoholic really cured because he has no access to drink anymore, or is he cured when he can take a sip of beer, and then actually say 'uhm you know what, this isnt doing anything for me, i can take or leave this'

True understanding comes with discipline and moderation, abstinence shows rigidity and a lack of understanding. Now for every sikh who is reading this and thinking, I abstain, but I still think, well then you may have achieved nothing. Maybe the true sikh is the one whose thoughts and actions are mirrored and is able to enjoy the full benefits of this world but within the framework of sikhi.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=35643

To that end, I propose that every one of the five thieves must have peace made with it, and an understanding reached, to save yourself from a lifetime of fighting and mutual conquering

This might just be a technicality, but isn't lust the negative expression of desire? Like, you can want aloo pronta, that's OK, but there comes a point where you realise that your desire for aloo pronta goes beyond a desire and becomes lust.

And I think lusting after a relationship with the creator is wrong, like you said, it doesn't sound right in the same sentence. For a couple of reasons 1) Sikhi balances the spiritual and the mundane, so to go only for the spiritual is not Sikhi, and if you lust after a relationship with the creator you should be a yogi or someone locking away to fulfil that desire. 2) Waheguru controls the relationship, not you, so your lust will always be unrequited. I think so, anyway.


Very thoughtful paragraph. My selfish youth is having trouble processing it, hehe. I think greed and lust are overlapping here. If you want the aloo pronta all for yourself, you're being greedy, not lustful, I think. You can lust after the experience of sharing aloo pronta with your wife. My understanding is that lust is an excessive and all-consuming craving for something. It is intense and you can't get rid of it from your mind. It tenses your body, you NEED to procure the object of your lust. Is that lust in your definition?

Example: I currently lust for the Internet. I wake up in the morning and kick myself for getting more excited about getting up and checking various forums than I do about getting up and reading Gurbani. I get edgy and focused that I must go on the Internet, first thing I do. I get annoyed when something prevents me from checking. That is negative. If you feel that way about your wife, then you might have a problem with lust!

Without getting too personal for you, Harry ji, and trying not to cheapen this thread, I ask this as a general question of the sangat: if you have "dirty thoughts", does that constitute lust? Do occasional "dirty thoughts" about your wedded partner constitute lust? I'm thinking not, or else how would romantic intimacy ever get off the ground? If you think of them excessively, and get angry when your partner is not obliging, then you have problem with lust, I think.

I believe the 5 evils were very important to us as primitives many thousands of years ago. You would LUST after someone (*cue David Attenborough voice* "Here we see the male of the human species in pursuit of a female" hehe) for the purpose of reproduction. You would be GREEDY to keep all the food for yourself or your group to ensure your own survivial. You would become EGOTISTICAL to promote yourself and intimidate others for your survival and the survival of your genetic line. You become ATTACHED to things because without your cave or tree or whatever you are left to the elements and have to find somewhere else to go, or without your Big Stick you are no longer ruler of your group. You become ANGRY to protect what you have or else you are destroyed by maurauding tribes.

And we carry these primitive motivators around with us in the present day, and they can cloud our judgement towards making decisions within the Sikh framework you mentioned.


I'm not sure that what you're describing fits with the definition of lust. It may be used in common language to express someone's zest or passion for something, but is that necessarily lust?

I agree, nicely said.