Dating Situations... arggghhhh!! Help!!!!

harshsingh · #1 (**permalink**) 14-Oct-2011, 18:38 PM

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh.................I need some advice

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Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/questions-and-answers/37234-dating-situations-arggghhhh-help.html
I have amrit for about 7 months now so am still new to a lot of thing, around 2-3 months ago i started dating this girl who i was confident was the one and when i started i knew about the gursikhi side to everything and was unsure. I asked about for advice and in coclusion i had the situation where i had discussed that she could be the one for me and had decided to stick with the relationship, we continued dating and broke up a month later. Now ive started dating another girl and this is where any advice is good advice. ive talked to her about it and she said that she only wants to date too if we serous and we happily agreed that we arent gonna do anything 'more' and were just gonna hangout and date. the problem is that i feel stupid going into something again as if im just playing with maya. She is a faithful christain who goes to church every saturday and is someone ho upholds her values. I tried to avoid any girls, especially after i realized the first one was just a sill crush but this girl is someone who ive known for ages and just developed over time. haha i know i sound stupid

, but idk what to do... we've only gone out for a week but i can tell she really into me, and this time it feels different but im worried if im just playing with maya, that im repeating exactly what i did last time and should back away completely. I also understand that this is one of those things where i have to decide myself in the end, but any advice would be appreciated

please help!!. wjkk wjkf.

Kanwaljit Singh · #2 (**permalink**) 15-Oct-2011, 07:25 AM

The advice I can give is.. possibly don't take any advice!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37234

This is coming from a 26 year ol' guy who's had a single date and one long distance relationship lasting a week. Everyone here is a bundle of their own decisions and views.

You are 16 and finding a place in your world. Do what you feel right. But one thing I can say is that never let one bad experience make you turn away from all other 'potentially' good ones.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37234

If you are crushed or she is, you might not know it in a month or a year, takes time.

As a Sikh, I wish to advice you to consider the fact that marrying a Christian means you lack the spousal support in pursuing your religion. But I would let things come to that!

harshsingh · #3 (**permalink**) 15-Oct-2011, 08:06 AM

thanks, i do feel like i should pursue this, i feel that as long as she doesnt effect my simran dramatically and i dont go breaking any rules with her that i should be fine and that it is a test in time for which i can only have faith in Vaheguru's hukam. thanks

Ambarsaria · #4 (**permalink**) 15-Oct-2011, 09:53 AM

Harshsingh veer welcome to spn and your post. I will suggest just be.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37234

The chances of marriage decisions or such happening at age 16 are very remote. So be friends and never make such into a this is the only person I can live with forever. Sorry it is a bit of advice but we all feel such many a times in life with many people.

Be yourself, let her be herself, enjoy the company, enjoy honesty, communication and caring. No matter what please keep things positive whether short term or long term.

Sat Sri Akal.

harshsingh · #5 (**permalink**) 15-Oct-2011, 13:50 PM

thanks for that advice, my mum said the same thing. What do u say if myself and the girl have disscussed this and since we ar not doing anything and dont want to anytime soon + there is little lust in our relationsship, not enough to trigger anything, we have decided nothing will go wrong with just being in a relationship without any ott stuff ?

harry haller · #6 (**permalink**) 15-Oct-2011, 16:11 PM

Harshsinghji

I do not think you will go wrong, you seem quite mature for your age, you are close enough to your mother to discuss this, and this sounds like quite a mature relationship, dare I say it, it sounds more mature than my relationship, and Im married!

Just be honest, with yourself, with those around you, and remember where you came from, I don't think you can go wrong on that basis, If you find yourself battling inwardly or changing into something you do not like, talk to your mom, she sounds like a very understanding lady

harshsingh · #7 (**permalink**) 15-Oct-2011, 16:34 PM

hahaha, thank you for that, i deerly thank Vaheguru for giving me the option of being able to talk with my mum and also openely talk to people. i feel like if i have faith in Vaheguru then his Hukam will hopefully led me in the right direction

OneD10s · #8 (**permalink**) 09-Dec-2011, 02:56 AM

I think being 16 you are way to young to be thinking about marriage and long term relationship. I think marriage is one of them societal pressures which when you do actually get married it is considered as something good and an achievement (especially in the Indian culture) from friends and families.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37234

In most cases getting married is a burden you cannot do the things that you can when you are young and single e.g traveling
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=37234

Enjoy your life, and gain experience.

harshsingh · #9 (**permalink**) 09-Dec-2011, 05:27 AM

thanks ji..... ive also come to realise that im still young

, and i have to enjoy life as it is rather than worry about such things. I still like this girl but im not going to go for anything at this age hahaha. Thanks for the advice everyone