12-Aug-2011, 06:33 AM
|  | .jpg) | | | Enrolled: Aug 11th, 2011
Posts: 6
| | | |  | | | Re: Can Hindu boy marry a Sikh girl?
Quote:
Originally Posted by harry haller  Akashji,
Conversion? You mean there is a magic button, a conversion button that you can press that makes you a sikh!
You are proud of your hindu religion and heritage, and rightly so. You could no more convert than a frog could convert to being a snake, so that option is out, there are some factors that may help.
How gursikh is the family, if they adhere to the SRM, you have no chance, I would cut your losses, and save everyone a huge amount of heartache, why? because as stated above, conversion, even if you wished to do so, would be hard, you cannot just adopt another religion as easy as eating an aloo prontha, it is slightly harder than that. Also there are your children to consider, and their relationship with both sets of grandparents, as you are indian , you know the huge social consequences of marriage within the community, running away, well thats not really the best way to start married life together, marriage can be hard enough at a young age without the added stress of what you have here.
If they are not hugely gursikh, and religion is more of a social scene to them, You could compromise by saying that you are not prepared to convert, but you promise that your children will be raised as sikhs, although, again, your parents may not be too keen on the idea,
It all really depends on the two of you, how important is religion to both of you, how important is god? This is not Romeo and Juliet, you are both playing with peoples lives, including your unborn children,
Hope it all works out one way or another, but do remember, there is more to marriage than love, looks fade, people age, they get ill, they change, they go through the menopause, they lose a limb, they have car accidents, if you both pursue this, I hope you have enough of a bond to see it through, good luck | Thank you for the help. I can understand what you're trying to say but this is not something we've spontaneously decided to do. We both have contemplated this and have also considered repercussions and I know looks will fade and stuff but she's the one for me. 
Plus we're both not that religious. I mean I'm proud Hindu and she's proud Sikh. But we're not really that religious and neither is her family no one in their family wears turban or has beard. They're all clean shaven.
No don't worry I'm not going to convert. I'm going to meet her father and tell him 'Sorry sir but your conditions are unacceptable to me. I can not convert. Although I don't mind getting married in the Gurudwara but I won't convert nor will I ever force your daughter to convert and children can decide if they want to be Sikh or Hindu, I won't force my religion on them. And we can also run away but we don't want to hurt you. I know she's your daughter so you should decide who she marries it should be entirely your decision but I've just got to say I love her so much and I'll always try and keep her happy. More than you ever did.'
I'm still very nervous, I'm sh*tting in my pants literally. Sorry for the bad language.
Once again thank you for the help.
Wahe guru ji da khalsa, wahe guru ji di fateh.
Sat sri akal. 
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12-Aug-2011, 10:05 AM
| | | | | Enrolled: Nov 20th, 2010 Age: 38
Posts: 63
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| |  | | | re: Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?
Mr Arun,
If you are asking whether you can marry a girl who is born in a Sikh family and for whom Sikhism is just a 'family culture', not a path of spirituality and way of life, then this question is better answered by the girl herself or her family. Nobody can stop 2 persons from getting married if they want to. Period.
If you are asking about a Girl who is dedicated OR plans to OR aspires to dedicate herself to path of Gurbani THEN there are some problems which might arise out of such marriage: Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/love-and-marriage/17804-can-hindu-guy-marry-sikh-girl.html
#You need to ask first question to yourself: If I love her do I wish for her spiritual progress from the depth of my heart? Do I truly honestly wish her to walk the path of Gurbani and its meditative practices? Would I be truly able to support her throughout on this?
# Will she be able to adhere to her spiritual path and progress unhampered and un-influenced from me, my family and out religious beliefs and practices?
# Would she be able to refuse to follow things which are against spiritual beliefs as enshrined by Gurbani?
# Would your relationship and the unavoidable emotional bonding not make her deviate from her path, dilute her resolution and make her into a compromise of a some sort?
# What about your attitude towards spirituality and progress on a spiritual path. Are you a spiritual oriented person? Would you support her on her path? If she were to start tying a turban and wear a prominently visible Kirpan on her person, would she face any hostility in your family and from you?
# What about the children, would they consider Gurbani as their mainstay? Or would they at least be givena free choice if they want to follow the path of Gurbani? Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17804
You would get the drift of my points I think. In the end it all depends one what kind of relationship the girl as well as you have to your respective religion and consequent culture.
And please keep in mind this is a Sikh forum. Being humble is a cardinal principle.  | | The following members appreciate passingby Ji for the above message. | |
12-Aug-2011, 10:43 AM
|  |  ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār | | | Enrolled: Dec 21st, 2010
Posts: 2,720
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| | | | | Re: Can Hindu boy marry a Sikh girl?
Akash Patel ji thanks for your post and asking for comments. Some below, and I apologize, may be little direct. If you find any that disturb you, I will edit my post. Quote:
Originally Posted by akash patel Thank you for the help. I can understand what you're trying to say but this is not something we've spontaneously decided to do. We both have contemplated this and have also considered repercussions and I know looks will fade and stuff but she's the one for me.
Plus we're both not that religious. I mean I'm proud Hindu and she's proud Sikh.
But we're not really that religious and neither is her family no one in their family wears turban or has beard. How many in your family wear Janeyooh (string around the body)? How many wear Tilak (the forehead Vermillion)?
They're all clean shaven. Are there hearts clean shaven? Man can start keeping hair and revert anytime, hearts don't change if at all?
No don't worry I'm not going to convert. I'm going to meet her father and tell him 'Sorry sir but your conditions are unacceptable to me. What are you so proud of in Hinduism, as our Gurus mostly from Hindu families, debunked the Hinduism exploitation through Brahmins and the associated hierarchy?
I can not convert. Although I don't mind getting married in the Gurudwara but I won't convert nor will I ever force your daughter to convert and children can decide if they want to be Sikh or Hindu, I won't force my religion on them. What can you tell to your Children about Hiduism that will make them proud about their mom and vice versa?
And we can also run away but we don't want to hurt you. I know she's your daughter so you should decide who she marries it should be entirely your decision but
I've just got to say I love her so much and I'll always try and keep her happy. More than you ever did.' This is a minimum requirement in marriage whether said or not.
I'm still very nervous, I'm sh*tting in my pants literally. Sorry for the bad language. Perhaps if you come clean and respectfully review the above between families, there may be a chance of positives.
Remember problems ignored only become bigger and people rarely change in their core values past kindergarten years.
You are a solid Hindu in your heart. I am not here to say bad but you got to recognize that you have shown disdain about her family in your post. Hopefully it is bad English and not a bad heart about Sikhism.
Once again thank you for the help.
Wahe guru ji da khalsa, wahe guru ji di fateh.
Sat sri akal. | Sat Sri Akal. | | The following members appreciate Ambarsaria Ji for the above message. | |
12-Aug-2011, 18:48 PM
| | | | | Enrolled: Aug 11th, 2011
Posts: 6
| | | | | | | Re: Can Hindu boy marry a Sikh girl?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria Akash Patel ji thanks for your post and asking for comments. Some below, and I apologize, may be little direct. If you find any that disturb you, I will edit my post.
Sat Sri Akal. | Dear, Ambarsaria ji
No it's fine as you only did it to help me. Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria How many in your family wear Janeyooh (string around the body)? How many wear Tilak (the forehead Vermillion)? | My grandpa used to wear it but he passed away. Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria Are there hearts clean shaven? Man can start keeping hair and revert anytime, hearts don't change if at all? | I really don't know about their hearts. Seriously how am I supposed to know all that? But she told me that they're not really that much religious. Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria What are you so proud of in Hinduism, as our Gurus mostly from Hindu families, debunked the Hinduism exploitation through Brahmins and the associated hierarchy? | I don't know, I am proud to have been born in Hindu family. Vedas, Puranas, Gita, Mahabharata are epics I like them. I also like Hindu philosophy and theory of 'Dharma', 'Karma', 'Afterlife', 'Moksha [salvation]' and cremation. But then again Sikhism also talk about all these so I'm really confused. Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria What can you tell to your Children about Hiduism that will make them proud about their mom and vice versa? | Everything I just stated above and that shouldn't be a problem because my cousin has also married a Sikh guy and their children raised as both Sikh and Hindu. Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria This is a minimum requirement in marriage whether said or not. | That's exactly what I'm trying to say. Isn't that all he should care about? I mean after all Sikhism and Hinduism are similar apart from caste system. They are both part of Sanatana Dharma and I'm also against caste system then why should it matter if I have Singh in my name or Patel?  Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambarsaria Perhaps if you come clean and respectfully review the above between families, there may be a chance of positives.
Remember problems ignored only become bigger and people rarely change in their core values past kindergarten years.
You are a solid Hindu in your heart. I am not here to say bad but you got to recognize that you have shown disdain about her family in your post. Hopefully it is bad English and not a bad heart about Sikhism. | But I don't wanna convert because religion is not really that big a part of my life nor her life, so why should I change something that I don't really care about or affects me? Hinduism has been in my family for god knows how long. And I yes I want to impress her family but not at the cost of hurting my family. and the thing is she doesn't even really care about these things. so why should he convert for her father? I'm gonna spend rest of my life with her not her father ey?
Most of the people who I've talked to so far regarding this matter has said 'Don't convert' including my own best friends who is also a Sikh.
Perhaps you didn't read my previous post. No it wasn't a bad heart for Sikhism in fact I have utmost respect Guru Nanak and all the gurus who fought for betterment and uplifting if society. Guru Tegh Bahadur Singh gave up his life for his principles and human rights. I go to Gurudwara as most of my friends are Punjabis and everything. In fact the last time I went to mandir was in Diwali but the last time I went to Gurudwara was like 2 months ago, I went with my friend, obviously I mainly went there for langar but I still did my naman to Granth Shib so yeah...
I'm sorry if I offended you with my previous comments [I don't know how I did but sorry]. and the thing is my parents are being SO tolerant about her they don't want her to convert and she would carry on practicing her religion however she likes and even agreed for me to get married in Gurudwara without caring about criticism from society becuase usually it's girls side who has to do all these. Then why can't her parents accept me as I am? It's not like I'm some Muslim who is going to convert her or leave her.
Anyways I apologise to any Muslim members here if I offended them.
Sat sri akal. |
12-Aug-2011, 19:02 PM
|  | | | | Enrolled: Jan 31st, 2011 Location: UK Age: 43
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| |  | | | Re: Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?
I do not think there is an issue here regarding religion, I think its unfair of the father to ask you to convert if he is not particularly religious himself, but anyway, now you have explained yourself, this is a cultural issue, not a sikh/hindu one.
So what now.......
I think the best you can do is give guarantees to her father that although you wish to remain a hindu, you will not try and convert his daughter, and that the children may choose whatever faith they wish, having had exposure to both sikhism and hinduism from respective families, press upon him the utmost respect you have not for his religion, but also for his daughter, and see how it goes, they say love conquers all, and although I said at the beginning this isnt romeo and juliet, maybe I am wrong, maybe I am too old too remember the flush of love in youth,
You are clearly comfortable in sikh surroundings, if your love for each other is as pure as you say, well, I hope it all works out well for you both | | The following members appreciate harry haller Ji for the above message. | |
13-Aug-2011, 01:50 AM
| | | | | Enrolled: Aug 11th, 2011
Posts: 6
| | | | | | | Re: Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by harry haller I do not think there is an issue here regarding religion, I think its unfair of the father to ask you to convert if he is not particularly religious himself, but anyway, now you have explained yourself, this is a cultural issue, not a sikh/hindu one.
So what now.......
I think the best you can do is give guarantees to her father that although you wish to remain a hindu, you will not try and convert his daughter, and that the children may choose whatever faith they wish, having had exposure to both sikhism and hinduism from respective families, press upon him the utmost respect you have not for his religion, but also for his daughter, and see how it goes, they say love conquers all, and although I said at the beginning this isnt romeo and juliet, maybe I am wrong, maybe I am too old too remember the flush of love in youth,
You are clearly comfortable in sikh surroundings, if your love for each other is as pure as you say, well, I hope it all works out well for you both | Thank you very much.
That's exactly what I am gonna do.
Yeah I'm quite comfortable in Sikh surroundings.
I wish they had 'Super thank' button.
I was always gonna do this but I just wanted to hear it from someone else. Kind of like an re-assurance. 
She wanted me to see her dad this month but I kept on postponing but now I'm mentally ready to deal with him. Once again thank you so much.
Sat sri akal. |
13-Aug-2011, 11:26 AM
| | ੴ / Ik▫oaʼnkār | | | Enrolled: Dec 21st, 2010
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| | | | | Re: Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?
Akash Patel ji you appear pretty level about your expressions and directness. I find some of your stuff little glib that you should seriously address within you perhaps if you so wish. It will matter little if you do lip service to get over the items without any heart behind. So I noted the following in your response, and my comments in red, Quote:
I mean after all Sikhism and Hinduism are similar apart from caste system.
Hardly so. Majority Hindus use this line out of ignorance of Sikhism. RSS wants the world to believe it too. Any knowledgeable Brahmin scholar can elaborate as to how much of Hiduism rites, rituals, multiple gods, karma, fate, kirya-karam, etc., has been cited in the Sri Guru Granth Sahib ji as not the means to achieve ant stated objectives.
They are both part of Sanatana Dharma and I'm also against caste system then why should it matter if I have Singh in my name or Patel?
Again Akash Patel ji you are not providing a sincerity needed in relationships but a political answer. Of course names have significance. What will your future Son's name end with? Patel or Singh! Names mean less but sometimes they set a course for your life through cultural identification. There is no question that Gujrat, Rajisthan and Punjab have much cultural and genealogy ties, but there are differences that needed to be addressed and mutually worked on in healthy and positive ways. | Comments not to prove or show someone bad but in case even in a minor way they provide positive contribution to a person's life.
Sat Sri Akal and always wish all health, happiness and prosperity. | | The following members appreciate Ambarsaria Ji for the above message. | |
25-Sep-2011, 19:30 PM
| | | | | Enrolled: Aug 11th, 2011
Posts: 6
| | | | | | | Re: Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?
Thank you very very much people on this forum and admin.
I'd like to thank Ambersariaji and specially Harry Haller ji for their advice. Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17804
I talked with the girl's father and manage to persuaded him. I told him how much I loved her daughter and cared for her and children will raised as both Hindu and Sikh.
Once again thank you very much. We just got engaged. Marriage is next year. All of your are invited. | | The following members appreciate akash patel Ji for the above message. | |
25-Sep-2011, 21:55 PM
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| | | | | Re: Can a Hindu Guy Marry Sikh Girl ?
I am so thrilled to hear of a happy ending, if only one one one. I do not know how one can be both Hindu and Sikh. Still confused on that. Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=17804
But you are so kind to come back and let us know. Thank you. Please return and help others along the way. You have made a bright morning for many readers. | 
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