Advise Please - Dealing with Hurdles

Navdeep88 · #1 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 04:50 AM

Dear Members, How have you dealt with hurdles, when you had complete faith that something would happen but it did not? How did you make sense of it and carry on?
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Ambarsaria · #2 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 05:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Navdeep88

Dear Members,

How have you dealt with hurdles, when you had complete faith that something would happen but it did not? How did you make sense of it and carry on?

Navdeep88 ji one has to look at the situation.

At work few years back, I saw a weird sticker on the back of a car. I had known the woman and knew she was very beautiful but was heart broken from some relationship issues.

The sticker read,

"I have been Happy, ever since I gave up hope."

It took me a mighty long time to figure it out. One has to do their best rather than create hope and let the outcome follow. I am reading your "faith" word in more liberal interpretation of hope, wish, sense of certainty.

So out of all this one has to say to themselves,

Did I do all I could?
Is it the past?

If you answer yes to the above two then you have to do the following,

Do I want to live in the future or past?
What are my options to go forward?

If you decide to live into the future then select an option from hereon (get advice, help, dialog with who you feel comfortable with).

As happens so often, there will come a day when you will not even think about such an issue in the future.

My object is to not give just advice but hopefully share something I have learnt. I do realize sometimes it is easier said than done but one has to persevere.

Sat Sri Akal.

Gyani Jarnail Singh · #3 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 07:00 AM

Beautiful answer Ambarsariah Ji.
You see we have to realsie that the ghaata is within us...as The Creator is all complete..so faith in Him...is ok untilwe grab hold of the fact that any shortcomings. any shortfalls are on OUR part not His.

For example. We KNOW for a FACT that DAY follows NIGHT....no matter what...the NIGHT will come when the Sun sets...and the next morning nothing cna stop the Sun from Rising.
Now IF for any reason we "cultivate" some faith that this NIGHT will last forever...the more we see the SUN rising..light coming in..the more our FAITH will suffer...why isnt He "listening" to my prayer..my Faith ?? the more we become sad..the higher the sun will rise...and then the NIGHT will inevitably come again...meaning the "hurdle" is TEMPORARY...in this case its just a matter of 12 hours...and IF someone has "Faith" for 12 hours his wish for night and darkness will come true...and he will be happy..but someone who had "faith" the Light will continue past 6pm...it will be disappointment !!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/general-discussion/34092-advise-please-dealing-with-hurdles.html
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092

Man JEETEH..JAAG JEET..when our Mann is at REST..its PEACE..thats when we have won the WAR...otherwise we win and lose some battles all the time....The Aim is to WIN THE WAR...and that is DENDAH DEH ....LAINDEH THHAK PAHEYEH....this "thhakk" is NOT the usual meaning of " TIRED" or "'weary" of receiving...its real meaning as I understand is that the MANN takes a BREATHER..it stops prancing about...comes to a STANDSTILL like an athlete who bends over and rests after a long marathon run...
The MANN has to come to a Complete STANDSTILL...thats the AIM of our Life on this Earth..... ( BTW do you know of anyone who is "thhakk giyah or tired of receiving" ?? one who has a Dollar..wants TEN..who has 10 wants 1000, who has 10000 wants a Lakh..a Lkhpatee wants to be KROR patee..a BILLIONAIRE........IT is as impossible to find a thak giyah person as it to find a tiny pin head in a TRILLION TON Bale of Hay !! Thats why I donot accept the traditionally given meaning of this tuk form Japji Sahib )

findingmyway · #4 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 07:01 AM

Navdeep ji,

I have several strategies which may or may not be useful to you. It's never easy!
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092

> Try and remember it's all Waheguru's hukam. I like to think of Guru Arjan Dev ji reciting tere bhana meetha lage.
> Tell yourself it's for the best. It could have been worse. For example I had an accident severly injuring my foot. I couldn't walk for 2 months and couldn't play sport for more than 1 year. It still causes me some pain but it could have been worse. It could have been both feet or it could have been when I was alone rather than with friends or I could have died (or worse been paralysed). Maybe what's happened is saving you from something worse.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092
> Listen to kirtan to quiet my mind and do paath.
> Rely on friends and family. It really helps to share quite often.
> Watch a comedy. When you have a lighter mood it's easier to start focussing on the good side and move on.

Take care of yourself.

Gyani Jarnail Singh · #5 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 07:53 AM

On my just concluded viist to Darbar sahib, in the early morning at 2.30 i was confronted by a young man i had never seen before...he wnated me to help him..pray for him...from what i gathered after a long tlak with him..he is very intelligent plus 2 studnet doing pre-medical and scoring haigh grades..when suddenly he began to get weaker and weaker..until he cant walk unaided...doctors who took xrays of his neck skull spine etc told him ..the spinal chord is getting THINNER..almost drying out and when it reaches a stage of shivering hands extremities..his time is up...someone told him..go to darbar sahib Sarovar..bathe..do ardass..you will be cured...and hes doen that for 6 months but disease still proceeding normally...
I aske dhim Why Me ? I am not evne local..i just visit here once ayear and soemtimes in 2 or 3 years..he said..i just got a vision that YOU will help me...WHY is mY GURU Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji NOT listening to me ? My parents took me to severla Babas, Gurus incl the Dera Beas Guru, they spent so much..travelled to almost any baba Holy man they ever heard of no matter how far..or how expensive..they went..BUT MY FAITH always in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji...BUT then WHY my GURU wont listen to my ardass..i dont wnat to die early..i wnat to be a doctor and help others..WILL YOU PROMISE TO HELP ME..do ardass..paath...in the end i had to promise all this and he was so happy..he reminded me..YOU PROMISED UNCLE..I will be waiting RIGHT HERE next NOVEMBER 22nd at 2.30 AM.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092
When I came home..I couldnt sleep for a fortnight..wondering about that young man..what have i promised..what will happen now..what to do...finally I performed an ardass and started a sehaj Paath and Daily Ardass ( more FOR MY OWN MANN than anything else ) What will happen to that young mans FAITH ?? is uppermost...and what will happen to MY FAITH ?? so many questions..so few answers...thats LIFE..

Ambarsaria · #6 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 08:45 AM

Gyani Jarnail Singh ji wonderful post. I can see both of you in Darbar Sahib without having seen either of you.

I will also pray for him.

On a side note, I have been personally studying Homeopathy as a hobby since early 80s. I have helped friends and family. For me friends and family is anyone who does believe in such help and needs it and lets me know. If I could be any help in studying his situation and suggesting any remedies feel free to PM me. I will be more than happy to do so. There is no charge just to see someone helped and happier.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092

His desire to live is fundamental to any possible recovery and it is good that you described it so.

Sat Sri Akal.

Confused · #7 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 09:02 AM

Navdeep88 ji,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Navdeep88

Dear Members,

How have you dealt with hurdles, when you had complete faith that something would happen but it did not? How did you make sense of it and carry on?

We all have a great tendency to desire. Desire to the raw objects of experience through the five senses, and most particularly to any pleasant feeling aroused when there is recognition of what it might be and also to all the associated thoughts subsequently followed. All this happens within a very short moment but it does not stop there, because following this is the tendency to dwell in terms of past and future, where aversion (which again we have a great tendency for) comes in to then direct the thoughts to yet other objects. At some point in all this, expectations are created and being that along with it is the prospect of disappointment, there is hope and there is fear.

When contacted with objects that are unpleasant, we all hurt ourselves even further due to the aversion which arises in reaction. It is like being shot by an arrow and because of lack of understanding, another arrow follows and another one, on and on. That we are faced with unpleasant situations is unavoidable given the expectations we keep creating. And as Gyani Jarnail Singh ji has said, we often also create unrealistic expectations. We can’t help having desire, creating expectations and building up hope and we can’t help having aversion, feeling disappointed and having fear. It is good however to realize that all this takes place, indeed understanding these when they arise in a day is the only countermeasure. Anything else could only be an illusion.

Our thoughts are selective, and one reason any “situation” is seen as a problem is because attachment and aversion has determined it. Likewise what comes across as a solution is perceived as such because wanting to be happy, we see only what we like to see. The fact is that thought cannot solve the problem which to begin with, was created by thought.

At the root of it all is ‘self-love’ and therefore as long as this is not acknowledged, problems will continue being created and any apparent solution will in fact only be delusory in nature. In other words, we perceive of a problem but end up clinging to any suggestion of a solution, thereby creating another set of problems. This happens all the time and goes on forever; hence why the fuel driving the round of existence is never exhausted. A grim picture, but one to be acknowledged if there is to be any real freedom. But of course, if indeed it is with any level of understanding that this is perceived, rather than cause for sorrow, confidence is aroused and is an occasion for cheer. But understanding *must* be there, else even this will be latched upon like everything else. And here lies the need for other good states to be developed alongside, namely, patience, truthfulness, equanimity, morality, kindness, giving, renunciation, perseverance and so on.

Ambarsaria · #8 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 09:31 AM

Confused ji a great post gives lot to ponder.

However I do have one basic query and appreciate brief comments which of the three in the following is consistent with your thoughts as this not only culturally defines America but also at times makes the rest of the world envious of America,

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is one of the most famous phrases in the United States Declaration of Independence and considered by some as part of one of the most well crafted, influential sentences in the history of the English language. These three aspects are listed among the "unalienable rights" or sovereign rights of man."

Specially the "pursuit of happiness" other than to renunciate and dress up and practice as monks (my potential example of how I see renunciation) in reddish/safforn clothes. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with people who so chose. I was a little child when I saw the Dalai Lama in Amritsar where he was honored by local punjabi folks in a very large gathering. I have general respect for the serene, calming knowledge and disposition radiating from such persona.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092

Namaste

Sat Sri Akal.

Gyani Jarnail Singh · #9 (**permalink**) 12-Jan-2011, 09:44 AM

Ambarsariah Ji,
Gurfateh Ji and Thanks for the offer of help Ji.

He lives in a smallVillage ..along the Kapurthala/Sultanpur Lodhi Main Road near the Railway Station known as Pajian. I am sending a relative to find out his actual address and maybe phone number...and then I will PM you.
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092
Reference:: Sikh Philosophy Network http://www.sikhphilosophy.net/showthread.php?t=34092

Since this is a body rog...we have to do as Gurbani says..Vaida rog tun pehlan rog pehchhaan....and the Creator created the Body and He also created the Medicines to cure the body...the ARDASS is an instrument of THANKS..SHUKRANA to HIM to show His Mercy. If this young man clears this "hurdle" in his life I am very sure he will be a staunch Sikh all his life.

Warm Regards Ji.