- Jan 31, 2011
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Peace, yeah, I found peace, and happiness, but then something ruined it all, I met someone, fell in love, stupidly and without any sense or logic, or even any care or value for what I had finally achieved. In quite a short period, I managed to once again lose myself in the game, although, at the time, to be fair, I had no idea it was a game, I would now probably concede that I have absolutely no idea what love is, between flesh and blood, yes, love makes some sense, but out there in the big wide world, Nope, I have no {censored}ing idea what love is, or what passes for love, or even how one loves, there are many many variations.
So I have had 2 months of my head up my own bottom, and in the process managed to undo 2 years of hard work, I cannot deny it made me happy, possibly the happiest I have been in a long time, but the price was too high, the loss of the self, the compromises, and the endless {censored}ing games.
Strangely enough, but splitting was like splitting with every girlfriend I have ever split from, it was like splitting with all of them, all at the same time, for all the same reasons, still, as I emerge from the mother of all benders, I guess it was worth it, if only to feel again, for a while,
Interestingly, god, religion, the meaning of life, the very questions that plagued me all my life, all vanished while I was in love, it was like being in a magic spell, enchanting, you really don't {censored} with love...
So I have had 2 months of my head up my own bottom, and in the process managed to undo 2 years of hard work, I cannot deny it made me happy, possibly the happiest I have been in a long time, but the price was too high, the loss of the self, the compromises, and the endless {censored}ing games.
Strangely enough, but splitting was like splitting with every girlfriend I have ever split from, it was like splitting with all of them, all at the same time, for all the same reasons, still, as I emerge from the mother of all benders, I guess it was worth it, if only to feel again, for a while,
Interestingly, god, religion, the meaning of life, the very questions that plagued me all my life, all vanished while I was in love, it was like being in a magic spell, enchanting, you really don't {censored} with love...
