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Pahre (74-78)
Chhant (78-81)
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Bhagat Bani (91-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਝ | Raag Maajh
Gurbani (94-109)
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Ashtpadi (129-130)
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Bara Maha (133-136)
Din Raen (136-137)
Vaar Maajh Ki (137-150)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗਉੜੀ | Raag Gauree
Gurbani (151-185)
Quartets/Couplets (185-220)
Ashtpadiyan (220-234)
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ਰਾਗੁ ਆਸਾ | Raag Aasaa
Gurbani (347-348)
Chaupaday (348-364)
Panchpadde (364-365)
Kaafee (365-409)
Aasaavaree (409-411)
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Chhant (435-462)
Vaar Aasaa (462-475)
Bhagat Bani (475-488)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ | Raag Goojaree
Gurbani (489-503)
Ashtpadiyan (503-508)
Vaar Gujari (508-517)
Vaar Gujari (517-526)
ਰਾਗੁ ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ | Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree
Gurbani (527-536)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਹਾਗੜਾ | Raag Bihaagraa
Gurbani (537-556)
Chhant (538-548)
Vaar Bihaagraa (548-556)
ਰਾਗੁ ਵਡਹੰਸ | Raag Wadhans
Gurbani (557-564)
Ashtpadiyan (564-565)
Chhant (565-575)
Ghoriaan (575-578)
Alaahaniiaa (578-582)
Vaar Wadhans (582-594)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੋਰਠਿ | Raag Sorath
Gurbani (595-634)
Asatpadhiya (634-642)
Vaar Sorath (642-659)
ਰਾਗੁ ਧਨਾਸਰੀ | Raag Dhanasaree
Gurbani (660-685)
Astpadhiya (685-687)
Chhant (687-691)
Bhagat Bani (691-695)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਤਸਰੀ | Raag Jaitsree
Gurbani (696-703)
Chhant (703-705)
Vaar Jaitsaree (705-710)
Bhagat Bani (710)
ਰਾਗੁ ਟੋਡੀ | Raag Todee
ਰਾਗੁ ਬੈਰਾੜੀ | Raag Bairaaree
ਰਾਗੁ ਤਿਲੰਗ | Raag Tilang
Gurbani (721-727)
Bhagat Bani (727)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ | Raag Suhi
Gurbani (728-750)
Ashtpadiyan (750-761)
Kaafee (761-762)
Suchajee (762)
Gunvantee (763)
Chhant (763-785)
Vaar Soohee (785-792)
Bhagat Bani (792-794)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ | Raag Bilaaval
Gurbani (795-831)
Ashtpadiyan (831-838)
Thitteen (838-840)
Vaar Sat (841-843)
Chhant (843-848)
Vaar Bilaaval (849-855)
Bhagat Bani (855-858)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੋਂਡ | Raag Gond
Gurbani (859-869)
Ashtpadiyan (869)
Bhagat Bani (870-875)
ਰਾਗੁ ਰਾਮਕਲੀ | Raag Ramkalee
Ashtpadiyan (902-916)
Gurbani (876-902)
Anand (917-922)
Sadd (923-924)
Chhant (924-929)
Dakhnee (929-938)
Sidh Gosat (938-946)
Vaar Ramkalee (947-968)
ਰਾਗੁ ਨਟ ਨਾਰਾਇਨ | Raag Nat Narayan
Gurbani (975-980)
Ashtpadiyan (980-983)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਲੀ ਗਉੜਾ | Raag Maalee Gauraa
Gurbani (984-988)
Bhagat Bani (988)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਰੂ | Raag Maaroo
Gurbani (889-1008)
Ashtpadiyan (1008-1014)
Kaafee (1014-1016)
Ashtpadiyan (1016-1019)
Anjulian (1019-1020)
Solhe (1020-1033)
Dakhni (1033-1043)
ਰਾਗੁ ਤੁਖਾਰੀ | Raag Tukhaari
Bara Maha (1107-1110)
Chhant (1110-1117)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
Bhagat Bani (1123-1124)
ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
Partaal (1153)
Ashtpadiyan (1153-1167)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਸੰਤੁ | Raag Basant
Gurbani (1168-1187)
Ashtpadiyan (1187-1193)
Vaar Basant (1193-1196)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਾਰਗ | Raag Saarag
Gurbani (1197-1200)
Partaal (1200-1231)
Ashtpadiyan (1232-1236)
Chhant (1236-1237)
Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
Ashtpadiyan (1273-1278)
Chhant (1278)
Vaar Malaar (1278-91)
Bhagat Bani (1292-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
Partaal (1296-1318)
Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
Chhant (1312)
Vaar Kaanraa
Bhagat Bani (1318)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਲਿਆਨ | Raag Kalyaan
Gurbani (1319-23)
Ashtpadiyan (1323-26)
ਰਾਗੁ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ | Raag Prabhaatee
Gurbani (1327-1341)
Ashtpadiyan (1342-51)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਜਾਵੰਤੀ | Raag Jaijaiwanti
Gurbani (1352-53)
Salok | Gatha | Phunahe | Chaubole | Swayiye
Sehskritee Mahala 1
Sehskritee Mahala 5
Gaathaa Mahala 5
Phunhay Mahala 5
Chaubolae Mahala 5
Shaloks Bhagat Kabir
Shaloks Sheikh Farid
Swaiyyae Mahala 5
Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
Shaloks in Addition To Vaars
Shalok Ninth Mehl
Mundavanee Mehl 5
ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
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Business, Lifestyle & Leisure
Answering Machines. Some Ideas On What Message To Record
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<blockquote data-quote="Gyani Jarnail Singh" data-source="post: 109367" data-attributes="member: 189"><p>Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the</p><p>world famous International Institute of Answering Machine</p><p>Answers.</p><p></p><p>(From a machine at a college dorm<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> A is for academics, B is</p><p>for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave</p><p>a message.</p><p></p><p>Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent</p><p>the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you</p><p>are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough</p><p>money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a</p><p>female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.</p><p></p><p>(Narrator's voice<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> There Dale sits, reading a magazine.</p><p>Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a</p><p>veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of</p><p>it, his arms wind milling at incredible speeds! Will he make it</p><p>in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath</p><p>sounded. Thou must leave a message.</p><p></p><p>"Hi. Now you say something."</p><p></p><p>"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you</p><p>can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." beep "Hello. I am</p><p>David's answering machine. What are you?"</p><p></p><p>(From my Japanese friend in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If</p><p>you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy*</p><p>message, I call sooner!</p><p></p><p>"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his</p><p>refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your</p><p>message to myself with one of these magnets."</p><p></p><p>"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just</p><p>eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.</p><p>Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message,</p><p>just hold it up to the phone.'</p><p></p><p>"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving</p><p>messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub,</p><p>and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through</p><p>their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're</p><p>still with me, leave your name and number and they will get</p><p>back to you."</p><p></p><p>"This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic</p><p>thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your</p><p>name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach</p><p>you, and I'll think about returning your call."</p><p></p><p>"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't</p><p>like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."</p><p></p><p>"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right</p><p>now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call</p><p>you back."</p><p></p><p>"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our</p><p>weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we</p><p>probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."</p><p></p><p>"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel</p><p>very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and</p><p>your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you</p><p>will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and</p><p>a message."</p><p></p><p>"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your</p><p>voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for</p><p>later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use</p><p>the sound of *your*voice for literally thousands of illegal and</p><p>immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial</p><p>consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists</p><p>will contact you in the near future to further explain the</p><p>benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of</p><p>payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone.</p><p>Thank you.":shutup:</p><p></p><p>Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain</p><p>silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by</p><p>us.:shutup:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gyani Jarnail Singh, post: 109367, member: 189"] Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers. (From a machine at a college dorm:) A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. (Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms wind milling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message. "Hi. Now you say something." "Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." beep "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?" (From my Japanese friend in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner! "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." "Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.' "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." "This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call." "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you." "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back." "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message." "You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message." "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your*voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.":shutup: Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.:shutup: [/QUOTE]
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Answering Machines. Some Ideas On What Message To Record
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