☀️ JOIN SPN MOBILE
Forums
New posts
Guru Granth Sahib
Composition, Arrangement & Layout
ਜਪੁ | Jup
ਸੋ ਦਰੁ | So Dar
ਸੋਹਿਲਾ | Sohilaa
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਿਰੀਰਾਗੁ | Raag Siree-Raag
Gurbani (14-53)
Ashtpadiyan (53-71)
Gurbani (71-74)
Pahre (74-78)
Chhant (78-81)
Vanjara (81-82)
Vaar Siri Raag (83-91)
Bhagat Bani (91-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਝ | Raag Maajh
Gurbani (94-109)
Ashtpadi (109)
Ashtpadiyan (110-129)
Ashtpadi (129-130)
Ashtpadiyan (130-133)
Bara Maha (133-136)
Din Raen (136-137)
Vaar Maajh Ki (137-150)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗਉੜੀ | Raag Gauree
Gurbani (151-185)
Quartets/Couplets (185-220)
Ashtpadiyan (220-234)
Karhalei (234-235)
Ashtpadiyan (235-242)
Chhant (242-249)
Baavan Akhari (250-262)
Sukhmani (262-296)
Thittee (296-300)
Gauree kii Vaar (300-323)
Gurbani (323-330)
Ashtpadiyan (330-340)
Baavan Akhari (340-343)
Thintteen (343-344)
Vaar Kabir (344-345)
Bhagat Bani (345-346)
ਰਾਗੁ ਆਸਾ | Raag Aasaa
Gurbani (347-348)
Chaupaday (348-364)
Panchpadde (364-365)
Kaafee (365-409)
Aasaavaree (409-411)
Ashtpadiyan (411-432)
Patee (432-435)
Chhant (435-462)
Vaar Aasaa (462-475)
Bhagat Bani (475-488)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੂਜਰੀ | Raag Goojaree
Gurbani (489-503)
Ashtpadiyan (503-508)
Vaar Gujari (508-517)
Vaar Gujari (517-526)
ਰਾਗੁ ਦੇਵਗੰਧਾਰੀ | Raag Dayv-Gandhaaree
Gurbani (527-536)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਹਾਗੜਾ | Raag Bihaagraa
Gurbani (537-556)
Chhant (538-548)
Vaar Bihaagraa (548-556)
ਰਾਗੁ ਵਡਹੰਸ | Raag Wadhans
Gurbani (557-564)
Ashtpadiyan (564-565)
Chhant (565-575)
Ghoriaan (575-578)
Alaahaniiaa (578-582)
Vaar Wadhans (582-594)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੋਰਠਿ | Raag Sorath
Gurbani (595-634)
Asatpadhiya (634-642)
Vaar Sorath (642-659)
ਰਾਗੁ ਧਨਾਸਰੀ | Raag Dhanasaree
Gurbani (660-685)
Astpadhiya (685-687)
Chhant (687-691)
Bhagat Bani (691-695)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਤਸਰੀ | Raag Jaitsree
Gurbani (696-703)
Chhant (703-705)
Vaar Jaitsaree (705-710)
Bhagat Bani (710)
ਰਾਗੁ ਟੋਡੀ | Raag Todee
ਰਾਗੁ ਬੈਰਾੜੀ | Raag Bairaaree
ਰਾਗੁ ਤਿਲੰਗ | Raag Tilang
Gurbani (721-727)
Bhagat Bani (727)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ | Raag Suhi
Gurbani (728-750)
Ashtpadiyan (750-761)
Kaafee (761-762)
Suchajee (762)
Gunvantee (763)
Chhant (763-785)
Vaar Soohee (785-792)
Bhagat Bani (792-794)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਿਲਾਵਲੁ | Raag Bilaaval
Gurbani (795-831)
Ashtpadiyan (831-838)
Thitteen (838-840)
Vaar Sat (841-843)
Chhant (843-848)
Vaar Bilaaval (849-855)
Bhagat Bani (855-858)
ਰਾਗੁ ਗੋਂਡ | Raag Gond
Gurbani (859-869)
Ashtpadiyan (869)
Bhagat Bani (870-875)
ਰਾਗੁ ਰਾਮਕਲੀ | Raag Ramkalee
Ashtpadiyan (902-916)
Gurbani (876-902)
Anand (917-922)
Sadd (923-924)
Chhant (924-929)
Dakhnee (929-938)
Sidh Gosat (938-946)
Vaar Ramkalee (947-968)
ਰਾਗੁ ਨਟ ਨਾਰਾਇਨ | Raag Nat Narayan
Gurbani (975-980)
Ashtpadiyan (980-983)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਲੀ ਗਉੜਾ | Raag Maalee Gauraa
Gurbani (984-988)
Bhagat Bani (988)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਾਰੂ | Raag Maaroo
Gurbani (889-1008)
Ashtpadiyan (1008-1014)
Kaafee (1014-1016)
Ashtpadiyan (1016-1019)
Anjulian (1019-1020)
Solhe (1020-1033)
Dakhni (1033-1043)
ਰਾਗੁ ਤੁਖਾਰੀ | Raag Tukhaari
Bara Maha (1107-1110)
Chhant (1110-1117)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕੇਦਾਰਾ | Raag Kedara
Gurbani (1118-1123)
Bhagat Bani (1123-1124)
ਰਾਗੁ ਭੈਰਉ | Raag Bhairo
Gurbani (1125-1152)
Partaal (1153)
Ashtpadiyan (1153-1167)
ਰਾਗੁ ਬਸੰਤੁ | Raag Basant
Gurbani (1168-1187)
Ashtpadiyan (1187-1193)
Vaar Basant (1193-1196)
ਰਾਗੁ ਸਾਰਗ | Raag Saarag
Gurbani (1197-1200)
Partaal (1200-1231)
Ashtpadiyan (1232-1236)
Chhant (1236-1237)
Vaar Saarang (1237-1253)
ਰਾਗੁ ਮਲਾਰ | Raag Malaar
Gurbani (1254-1293)
Partaal (1265-1273)
Ashtpadiyan (1273-1278)
Chhant (1278)
Vaar Malaar (1278-91)
Bhagat Bani (1292-93)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਾਨੜਾ | Raag Kaanraa
Gurbani (1294-96)
Partaal (1296-1318)
Ashtpadiyan (1308-1312)
Chhant (1312)
Vaar Kaanraa
Bhagat Bani (1318)
ਰਾਗੁ ਕਲਿਆਨ | Raag Kalyaan
Gurbani (1319-23)
Ashtpadiyan (1323-26)
ਰਾਗੁ ਪ੍ਰਭਾਤੀ | Raag Prabhaatee
Gurbani (1327-1341)
Ashtpadiyan (1342-51)
ਰਾਗੁ ਜੈਜਾਵੰਤੀ | Raag Jaijaiwanti
Gurbani (1352-53)
Salok | Gatha | Phunahe | Chaubole | Swayiye
Sehskritee Mahala 1
Sehskritee Mahala 5
Gaathaa Mahala 5
Phunhay Mahala 5
Chaubolae Mahala 5
Shaloks Bhagat Kabir
Shaloks Sheikh Farid
Swaiyyae Mahala 5
Swaiyyae in Praise of Gurus
Shaloks in Addition To Vaars
Shalok Ninth Mehl
Mundavanee Mehl 5
ਰਾਗ ਮਾਲਾ, Raag Maalaa
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New resources
Latest activity
Videos
New media
New comments
Library
Latest reviews
Donate
Log in
Register
What's new
New posts
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Welcome to all New Sikh Philosophy Network Forums!
Explore Sikh Sikhi Sikhism...
Sign up
Log in
Discussions
Hard Talk
A Sikh's Cost Of Fitting In: Lopping Off Long Hair
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Archived_Member16" data-source="post: 101043" data-attributes="member: 884"><p><span style="color: #000080">He locked the washroom door, unravelled the nine-metre turban, took a pair of scissors and started cutting. Ten minutes later, three feet of hair lie in a pile and Charanbir Singh sat down and cried.</span></p><p></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Outside, his parents and grandmother were in tears. Two friends persuaded him to come out, but Charanbir, his head wrapped in a towel, rushed to his room. </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">That was a year ago. Charanbir, now 17, still shudders at the memory. "I am very proud of my Sikh heritage and I never got my hair cut before ... but there were reasons. I had to cut my hair." </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Sikhism dates back to 15th-century India. Adherents are required to not cut their hair, considered a visible testament to their connection with their creator. The turban was adopted to manage long hair and make Sikhs easily identifiable.</span></p><p></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">For many young men in Greater Toronto, that is the problem: They don't want to stand out. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Like other new or second-generation immigrants, many Sikh youngsters are desperate to fit in with the school crowd, while others complain of racism because they wear the turban. Add to that cultural influences, peer pressure and the desire to assimilate. </span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">The end result? Many youngsters cut their hair, leading to family friction and, in some cases, lasting estrangement. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"Parents in the community often approach me, saying their son is insisting on cutting his hair," said Pardeep Singh Nagra, manager of employment equity with the Toronto District School Board, who is well known in the Sikh community. </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"I try to play the role of the mediator," said Nagra, who keeps his hair long and wears a turban. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Nagra says both sides can be heartbroken, but adamant – the son believes the parents don't understand him, while parents are torn with his decision. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Nagra tries to help young people understand their religious heritage and the importance of practising their faith. "I tell them if they think life is tough (because of the turban), there may be something even tougher out there later on," he said. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Nagra also explains to the youths that their parents feel they've failed when children don't adopt religious traditions. But in the end, he says, the objective is to support the child. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"Although alienation, harassment and racism begin at the elementary school level, Sikh boys are in Grade 7 or 8 when their pain comes to the forefront," he said. "I think parents need to better help them navigate the discrimination by engaging their children at a younger age, and the Sikh community needs to be more proactive to engage the wider community and schools to be more attentive to these issues." </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Some parents are open to discussing the turban's significance. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">The topic was talked threadbare at Sandeep Chahal's Brampton home before his parents agreed. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">The first-year engineering student at McMaster University in Hamilton says it was important for him to have their consent. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Eight months ago, Chahal, 18, got his waist-length hair cropped close to the scalp. </span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Chahal still feels strange without a colourful turban, but says he wanted to fit in. "I can't recall a particular incident where ... I felt like I didn't belong. But I obviously stood out." </span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">But not everyone minds that. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Jashandeep Singh, 18, a commerce student and Chahal's roommate at McMaster, wears a turban. "I have my moments when I want to get (a haircut) but I'm religious and I also realize how important this is for me," said Singh, whose family lives in Brampton. </span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">He is often asked about it by curious strangers. "I explain as best I can why it's important," he said. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">The dwindling number of turban-wearers bothers Nagra, but working with young people, he understands the pressures they face. </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Not everyone does. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">When a 19-year-old York university student, who doesn't want to be named, was younger, he told his parents he wanted to cut his hair. His father beat him with a belt, he wrote in an email to the <em>Star</em>. But tired of continuing harassment at school – he was called names and even beaten up – he got his hair cut. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"And as a result, I was thrown out of the house and disowned." </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">His parents have not contacted him since. "I still don't know if my parents remember me or think about me," said the student. "But then again, they were right on their part and I was on mine." </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Sikh fathers say their sons make them proud when they wear the turban. "Of course," said Bhupinder Singh, Charanbir's father. </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"But I can't disown him if he doesn't," he added in Punjabi. </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">When Charanbir first said he wanted to cut his hair, his father took him aside and asked if he was having trouble at school. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span> <span style="color: #000080">"He said no, but I knew there was more to it." Singh explained the significance of the turban and hoped for the best. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Months later, when his son shut himself in the washroom and cut his hair, Singh said he wasn't angry. "I was just very, very sad. I tried to understand (him). I didn't go to school in Canada so I don't know how tough it can be ... But I do wish he still wore the turban." </span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Stories like these are common, says Birinder Ahluwalia, owner of BSA Diagnostics Clinics in Scarborough and North York. </span><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"It's an awful feeling," said Ahluwalia, who wore a turban when he immigrated to Canada in 1985. But within the year, he decided to cut his hair. "No, I didn't feel any racism, but (I) got strange looks of surprise from people." </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Telling his father in India about the decision was difficult, said Ahluwalia, 53. "When I told him, he was quiet for about 30 seconds. It felt like the longest time," he said.</span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">Ahluwalia felt awful for a long time after having his hair cut. Now, 24 years later, he is thinking of growing his hair and wearing a turban. </span></p><p><span style="color: #000080"></span></p><p> <span style="color: #000080">"It's one of those things you never truly get over," he said. </span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Archived_Member16, post: 101043, member: 884"] [B][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=5][B][COLOR=#000080][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][COLOR=#000080]He locked the washroom door, unravelled the nine-metre turban, took a pair of scissors and started cutting. Ten minutes later, three feet of hair lie in a pile and Charanbir Singh sat down and cried.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Outside, his parents and grandmother were in tears. Two friends persuaded him to come out, but Charanbir, his head wrapped in a towel, rushed to his room. [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]That was a year ago. Charanbir, now 17, still shudders at the memory. "I am very proud of my Sikh heritage and I never got my hair cut before ... but there were reasons. I had to cut my hair." [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Sikhism dates back to 15th-century India. Adherents are required to not cut their hair, considered a visible testament to their connection with their creator. The turban was adopted to manage long hair and make Sikhs easily identifiable.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]For many young men in Greater Toronto, that is the problem: They don't want to stand out. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Like other new or second-generation immigrants, many Sikh youngsters are desperate to fit in with the school crowd, while others complain of racism because they wear the turban. Add to that cultural influences, peer pressure and the desire to assimilate. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]The end result? Many youngsters cut their hair, leading to family friction and, in some cases, lasting estrangement. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"Parents in the community often approach me, saying their son is insisting on cutting his hair," said Pardeep Singh Nagra, manager of employment equity with the Toronto District School Board, who is well known in the Sikh community. [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"I try to play the role of the mediator," said Nagra, who keeps his hair long and wears a turban. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Nagra says both sides can be heartbroken, but adamant – the son believes the parents don't understand him, while parents are torn with his decision. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Nagra tries to help young people understand their religious heritage and the importance of practising their faith. "I tell them if they think life is tough (because of the turban), there may be something even tougher out there later on," he said. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Nagra also explains to the youths that their parents feel they've failed when children don't adopt religious traditions. But in the end, he says, the objective is to support the child. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"Although alienation, harassment and racism begin at the elementary school level, Sikh boys are in Grade 7 or 8 when their pain comes to the forefront," he said. "I think parents need to better help them navigate the discrimination by engaging their children at a younger age, and the Sikh community needs to be more proactive to engage the wider community and schools to be more attentive to these issues." [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Some parents are open to discussing the turban's significance. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]The topic was talked threadbare at Sandeep Chahal's Brampton home before his parents agreed. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]The first-year engineering student at McMaster University in Hamilton says it was important for him to have their consent. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Eight months ago, Chahal, 18, got his waist-length hair cropped close to the scalp. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Chahal still feels strange without a colourful turban, but says he wanted to fit in. "I can't recall a particular incident where ... I felt like I didn't belong. But I obviously stood out." [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]But not everyone minds that. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Jashandeep Singh, 18, a commerce student and Chahal's roommate at McMaster, wears a turban. "I have my moments when I want to get (a haircut) but I'm religious and I also realize how important this is for me," said Singh, whose family lives in Brampton. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]He is often asked about it by curious strangers. "I explain as best I can why it's important," he said. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]The dwindling number of turban-wearers bothers Nagra, but working with young people, he understands the pressures they face. [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Not everyone does. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]When a 19-year-old York university student, who doesn't want to be named, was younger, he told his parents he wanted to cut his hair. His father beat him with a belt, he wrote in an email to the [I]Star[/I]. But tired of continuing harassment at school – he was called names and even beaten up – he got his hair cut. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"And as a result, I was thrown out of the house and disowned." [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]His parents have not contacted him since. "I still don't know if my parents remember me or think about me," said the student. "But then again, they were right on their part and I was on mine." [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Sikh fathers say their sons make them proud when they wear the turban. "Of course," said Bhupinder Singh, Charanbir's father. [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"But I can't disown him if he doesn't," he added in Punjabi. [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]When Charanbir first said he wanted to cut his hair, his father took him aside and asked if he was having trouble at school. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"He said no, but I knew there was more to it." Singh explained the significance of the turban and hoped for the best. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Months later, when his son shut himself in the washroom and cut his hair, Singh said he wasn't angry. "I was just very, very sad. I tried to understand (him). I didn't go to school in Canada so I don't know how tough it can be ... But I do wish he still wore the turban." [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Stories like these are common, says Birinder Ahluwalia, owner of BSA Diagnostics Clinics in Scarborough and North York. [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080] [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"It's an awful feeling," said Ahluwalia, who wore a turban when he immigrated to Canada in 1985. But within the year, he decided to cut his hair. "No, I didn't feel any racism, but (I) got strange looks of surprise from people." [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Telling his father in India about the decision was difficult, said Ahluwalia, 53. "When I told him, he was quiet for about 30 seconds. It felt like the longest time," he said.[/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]Ahluwalia felt awful for a long time after having his hair cut. Now, 24 years later, he is thinking of growing his hair and wearing a turban. [/COLOR] [COLOR=#000080]"It's one of those things you never truly get over," he said. [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Discussions
Hard Talk
A Sikh's Cost Of Fitting In: Lopping Off Long Hair
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn more…
Top